


Making Dimples Out of Pockmarks

by UsernameOK



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Action/Adventure, Blood Kink, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Development, Complicated Relationships, Creepy Hisoka (Hunter X Hunter), Drama, Drinking to Cope, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fighting Kink, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Light Angst, Light Bondage, NSFW, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Obsession, One-Sided Attraction, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Past Child Abuse, Possessive Behavior, Possibly Unrequited Love, Sexual Humor, So Wrong It's Right, Stalking, Yandere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-01-05 22:20:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 46
Words: 157,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12198525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UsernameOK/pseuds/UsernameOK
Summary: My life was changed the day I met him, and soon afterward, a whole new world was opened up to me. I became a stronger person in body and mind, found the joy of having people at my side, and of living my own life. But when all was said and done, where will he fit into all of these changes?Hisoka/Self-insert; slow build romance. Enjoy!(Written a long time ago, wanted to post on this site now.)





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note: I changed the title to English avoid confusion. 'Abata mo ekubo' is a proverb; it roughly means to mistake pimples for dimples when you love somebody. A recurring theme of my story is accepting others and ourselves, despite (or even because) of flaws. Enjoy!**  
  
  
  
Where I’m from, people are tired.

I mean, if I had to use one word to describe it, tired would have to be the most accurate choice.

Maybe it was because it would be the first thing a stranger would notice if they happened to visit such a run down area. You could see the word practically stamped every where, in the peeling paint and broken neon signs of failing businesses, in the copious amounts of litter dried up on the grass, long dead and brown from exposure to the elements.

And it was in the way the people were.

You see it in their drawn out expressions, in the way their limbs and bodies seem to sag. Every step is a burden, and there's no place anyone wants to go; there's not many places to go, and you'd have to walk a few miles to see anything remotely passable as a clean street or a safe spot to rest. The fastest people move is when they hear the gun shots or when a group of armed men of varying ages pass through.  
But if you really wanted to know what kind of place it was, you could just take a glance at a person's eyes.

They're dulled from anger and frustration and pain, and most of all, exhaustion.

The worst part is, it's contagious.

“Hey, how are you doing?”

One of the men leaning against the convenience stores entrance looked me up and down; a friend of his took a long drag of his cigarette and flicked it to the ground with a cold frown. I didn’t flinch as it just missed my foot, walking past them without a glance.

“Bitch.”

As the man spoke under his breath, some of the others laughed lowly while others continued to stare off, looking at the few people walking by, sizing them up and trying to recall whether they belonged on that street. Of course, that didn't stop them from harassing me, so maybe it didn't really matter that much.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning Mr. Weimen.” I went to the staff room to change out of my jogging clothes; I didn’t have time for a shower, just a few minutes to spare so I could wash my face and throw on my uniform. Once again I surveyed the chipped paint and the illegible scrawls from past employees; Mr. Weimen trusted me to use the room without any funny business.

I looked out the window every now and then as I manned the counter; the gang was still out there, their heads and eyes swiveling to stare at every person who got too close. You'd think they were the ones who were scared. 

“It’s gonna be another slow day.” I sighed as Mr. Weimen unlocked the register drawer. “No one's gonna want to come in here if they sit there.”

“Hey, people gotta eat, get their essentials and all that.” Mr. Weimen reminded me; he had a good point. I cast the men one last look before stocking the shelves behind the counter. I tried to pretend they weren't there.

“There’s a ton of conveniences stores in the area. I sure as shit wouldn’t come in here if they were out there.”

Mr. Weiman clicked his tongue. “You shouldn’t say that to your own boss.”

“Sorry. You know I like working here.” I paused. “Mostly.”

“Well, be lucky you have a job at all. Try thinking before you start flapping your mouth up and down.”

Despite his demeanor, it wasn’t Mr. Weimen I disliked; it wasn’t even working in the store. It was this neighborhood; it set people on edge, even people who spent their whole life there. Even on the jog to work every morning, I had to be on my guard. I couldn’t listen to music or look around, just run and look straight ahead. I'd be a fool to let myself get distracted and no one would feel that bad if anything happened to me. We all knew how it worked.

As Mr. Weimen left to his office, I flipped through a magazine idly; I had to do something to get through the hours of little to no customers, not to mention relax knowing the men outside were glancing in every so often. Despite my anxiety, the morning went on about as peaceful as it could be; the only sound for a while was the radio playing softly over the speakers, Mr. Weimen cursing at the rabbit eared TV in his office, and the rustling of pages.

“Hello.”

“Good-” My brow furrowed and I quickly looked over at the door; every time someone came in, the little bell hanging over head would jingle. It was still there like always, but it wasn’t even swinging.

“Is something the matter?”

“No, nothing." I turned back to him. "How can I help you?”

His eyes were so unfamiliar to me, not because I had never seen him in the neighborhood before, which I was sure I hadn't. But they were so different, they struck something in me that made me stare openly. Those eyes shined in the dim fluorescent lights, shined with ill willed amusement and something else, something that rattled me even more so than the dead eyes of the loitering men outside.

But there was something else about him, this stranger with the mask like face and smile. I couldn't take my eyes off him.

“Could I-”

“Why are you dressed like that?”

The man’s smile remained relaxed despite my almost accusing tone. “Like what?”

“Like a….a clown?” I narrowed my eyes and studied him closely. “Don’t tell me there’s a real fuckin’ circus coming through **this** place?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Oh and,” I began distractedly, turning to look out the window. “How’d you-?”

“Is something the matter my dear?”

 _“Dear?”_ I blinked and shook it off; it wasn’t the first time I was called a diminutive name. My round face and body gave me the appearance of a child or at least a very young person. Besides, this man looked like the kind who enjoyed poking fun at people like me. 

“Those men...how did you get past them?”

“Well, Mindy,” He briefly looked at my name tag. “I don’t see why that would be a problem; I simply need to shop for some things. Would they try to keep me out?”

“No offense…”

“Hisoka.”

“Hisoka.” I repeated a bit quietly and leaned in slightly; Mr. Weimen would accuse me of scaring off a new customer, but this guy needed to be in the know. “I take it you’re not from around here...people who aren’t from this side of town aren’t exactly welcome.”

Hisoka smiled in understanding. “Oh, you don’t say?”

“I’m surprised those thugs didn’t jump you.” I laughed a bit nervously. “I guess they must’ve left before you got here.”

“Are you afraid of them?”

“Seeing as how they got guns...yeah, I’d say so.” I smiled wryly before straightening back up. “Well, now that you’re here, what can I help you with?”

“I was wondering if this store carried Bungee Gum.”

“Hold on, follow me.” I stepped around the counter and led him to the nearest aisle. “We got the candy over here; aaaand-” I pointed at the middle shelf. “There it is.”

“Thank you.” Hisoka plucked a few packages; well, almost all of them really. I raised an eyebrow once my back was turned. How this guy didn’t get jumped on the way here was a mystery to me; everything about his look alone was so outlandish and loud. Maybe they were scared of clowns.

“That’ll be 500 jenny.” I rang up his purchase; Hisoka searched through his pockets and held out a few bills with a small frown.

“Excuse me, I’ll have to return a few of these.”

“Oh no, I’ll ring it up with my employee discount.” I did just that and handed him his change and the receipt.

“How kind of you Mindy.” The tips of his nails scratched my palm lightly as he took the remaining coins and paper; I didn’t notice how sharp they were. Did men have nails like that?

“In return, I’ll dispose of the bodies lying outside on the sidewalk.”

"Ha, alright then..." I smiled briefly at his off putting joke and waved. _"What a fucking weirdo..."_

His own smile was anything but joking.

“Goodbye my dear. Be careful running around.”

This time the bell jingled as Hisoka left.

I couldn’t even move as I saw him sling three bodies over his shoulders effortlessly before strolling away. Once he was out of view, I raced outside to call out something, but he was gone.


	2. Chit Chat

“Hey, you want that, you gotta buy it.” Mr. Weimen looked pointedly at the DVD in my hands; I smiled sheepishly as I studied the cover.

“I know.” I frowned contemplatively as I turned the box over in my hands. "Can you learn boxing from a video?”

“How should I know?” Mr. Weimen shook his head and sighed as he retreated back into his office; it was fine by me, I liked being left to my own to work. Besides, it showed he trusted me to not steal anything, and that was probably the highest compliment he could pay to an employee.

I looked at my reflection in the window; I wasn’t in the best shape. Jogging every morning just served to keep me in check and from getting jumped; I wouldn’t mind how I looked if I wasn’t so easily dismissed as weak. But maybe this DVD could help me.

Frankly, I looked like an easy target. I had already been the victim of attempted muggings and general harassment; running was easier when they didn't expect me to be able to get away. My solution was to never go through those areas again if I could help it. Call the cops? They rarely even came into the area and I didn’t blame them.

_“If I could learn this…”_

I knew how to box, or at least the basics from watching public scuffles and cable television; there wasn't much else to do in the neighborhood beside hole up in your home and glue yourself to the TV, and I had a sports channel, a infomercial channel, and another that played reruns of old sitcoms and movies through a blizzard of static. Boxing wasn't easy to learn from what I could tell, but it wasn't impossible.

The most important things to keep in mind about it seemed to be balance, proper stance, endurance, and speed. Despite my weight, I wasn’t slow. Running for your life was great for cardio; all the other things I could learn if I had the time and energy. 

_"It’s not like I have anything better to do...."_

My free time was basically spent lazing around my house finding anything to pass the hours before I fell asleep. Most of the time I crashed as soon as I got home after eating whatever processed, nutrient lacking, edible thing I had lying in the fridge chased by a alcoholic beverage. It was my nice, stable routine, something I felt justified to have no matter how unproductive.

At least, it was.

Something had changed in me since Hisoka had came to the store. No one I knew looked or acted like he did. Perhaps that's why later that day there were quiet rumors and whispering of a man who had killed some of the east side’s members. 

Despite violence being a regular occurrence, the neighborhood was buzzing with slightly more fear and apprehension than usual; you didn’t just come in there, walking down the street with no affiliation, and act like you didn’t not belong. And you sure as hell didn’t mess with men who carried handguns and pocket knives wherever they went.

But soon the scrap of gossip died down for a while, though it was still talked over now and then by men sitting on porches held up with cement blocks, kids playing in the decaying schools playground, and women posed in dimly lit street corners. Everyone knew about it, but I think I might've been one of the few to actually see him up close.

 _“But how did he do it?”_ I wondered as I put my money into the register. Once I was done, I went inside the staff room to put the DVD safely away in my bag. _“He's creepy sure, but Hisoka doesn't look that strong...how did a weirdo like him take those guys out?”_

Despite my attempts to keep a level head, beneath the subdued awe and shock was envy; I wanted to hold my head up high like he did and look people straight in the eye. I wanted to be tough. I wanted to not be afraid; but to do that, I needed to have a way to protect myself.

“Good morning Mindy.”

I did a double take at the door. “How-? The bell didn’t ring.”

“You seem to have a hard time greeting customers properly.” Hisoka smiled and cocked his head to the side.

“Sorry...um, how can I help you?” Thoughts were racing through my head; it had been a couple of months since I last saw him. I was a bit surprised he had remembered my name until I realized I still had my name tag on. 

“I found the gum, but I need help looking for white face paint. This store doesn’t seem to have it.”

“I thought you just came in here?”

“It’s a small store, it barely took any time to look.” Hisoka's eyes glanced at the side of my head. “So, can you be of help?”

“We don’t carry face paint,” I looked over my shoulder. “We have foundation though; it’s long lasting.”

“Do you know for certain?”

 _“Wow, this guy is oddly fine with wearing makeup.”_ I sort of wanted to make a joke, but decided against it. _“He killed those men quickly...fuck, if he could take them out without so much as a sweat, what could he do to me if he felt like it?”_

“No, I don’t wear makeup.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” I shrugged and took one of the jars off the rack. “I don’t like how it feels on my face. Here, is this white enough?”

“It will do.” Hisoka reached for the rack and my face was centimeters from his chest; I moved to the side.

“Why did you move so quickly? I’m not doing anything to harm you.” Hisoka smiled and handed me the jar he picked out along with the other and a few packs of gum.

“I thought you mighta fallen into me. Here,” I rang up his purchase and handed him the change; as Hisoka glanced at it and the receipt, he frowned curiously.

“This isn’t the correct amount.”

“I used my discount.”

Hisoka’s smile was devilish. “How sweet. Are you trying to endear me?”

I gave him a sober look. “I don’t use it much. And you sort of did this place a favor getting rid of those assholes.”

“I didn’t do it out of heroics.”

I looked up at him. “Why did you do it then?”

“They were in my way.”

“That's all? Are you gonna kill me?”

Hisoka blinked. “What makes you ask?”

“Ain’t you worried I’ll call the cops?”

“No. If you haven’t by now, why would you?” Hisoka chuckled. “Besides, it wouldn’t do any good.”

I watched warily as he pulled out a card from his pocket and showed it to me. “You’re a Hunter? Shit, that explains a few things….except the heels…isn’t it hard to fight in them?” I looked up quickly with an apologetic smile. “Ah, no offense.”

To my surprise, Hisoka chuckled with mirth. “You have a hard time using a filter, don’t you my dear?”

“Heh, I guess.” I shrugged. “Hey, you don’t live around here, do ya?”

Hisoka raised an eyebrow with a slight smirk. “No. Why do you ask?”

“Not many people come around here; I mean, I knew you were strong, ‘specially if you’re a Hunter, but going through this area seems like more trouble than it’s worth.” I let out a brief huff. “God knows I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have to.”

Hisoka leaned forward; for a bit I was feeling comfortable talking with him, but the look in his eye made goosebumps appear on my arms. I felt something I hadn’t before; it was pinning me to the spot as his hand slammed into the wall, missing my head by an inch.

 _“It’s like someone just opened a window in the middle of January...I feel so cold…”_ I stayed perfectly still as he withdrew his arm.

“Disposing of those weaklings was as easy as squashing a spider.”

Hisoka held out his palm to me, the dead insect making a black dot against his pale skin; I felt a bead of sweat fall down the back my neck.

“You couldn’t have just told me it was there?!”

“Oh Mindy, you make me laugh.” Hisoka wiped his hand on his shirt. “See you~”

I felt my eye twitch; boxing would definitely help me blow off some steam at any rate. _“This guy…”_


	3. Turning Point

“Hey.” I greeted in slight surprise as Hisoka came into the shop; this was the first time I had actually seen him enter. _“Wow, the bell rang too…”_

“Good evening~” Hisoka went over to the candy aisle without further ado. “Any recommendations?”

“For candy?”

“No, toilet paper.”

“Haha." I continued to read my magazine. "I don’t like candy all that much.”

Hisoka smiled evilly. “I wouldn’t have guessed.”

“Yeah, yeah, here comes the fat jokes.” I said dully. “I’m serious. I like cookies more anyway.”

“Which ones?” Hisoka asked absently as he scanned the shelves; despite his disinterest, I felt my face light up at the thought of my favorite brand. I found I had a bad habit of rambling when speaking of a topic I enjoyed; in turn, Hisoka would seem amused by my sudden motor mouth.

“Oh, I love these shortbread ones with chocolate centers! I get them with my discount and sometimes Mr. Weimen will let me have a box for free on holidays!” I gushed while Hisoka had his back turned. “They're so good, I could eat a whole box and then some in one sitting-!”

I stop and felt my enthusiasm deflate, realizing how incriminating my spiel was. “Not that that’s any better than eating candy…”

Hisoka ignored my turmoil and carried a few packages of sweets, heels clicking against the linoleum floor. He paused and studied me as I sulked. “You do look different...it’s only been half a year since I first came here, hasn’t it? Are you using makeup now?”

“Nah, face has been clearing up. I actually cut back on sweets for my training.” I told him while moving his candy over the price scanner.

“Training?”

“Sort of. I’ve been learning boxing.” I smiled a little self consciously; I never brought it up. Surely he would tease me for it or make some crack, but I was never that great at keeping things secret. “It’s actually a lot of fun. I’m not the best, but I’ve been able to hold my own lately.”

I couldn’t begin to describe to Hisoka how empowering it felt to knock a grown man down on his ass for trying to snatch my purse; perhaps I wasn't completely transformed into a martial sets master or anything, but my arms and legs were less flabby, more solid, my reflexes were faster, and I felt a semblance of pride at my budding abilities.

“You’re still incredibly weak by my standards.” Hisoka commented as he read the back of his pastry package.

“Gee, thanks....”

“Mindy.”

“What?” I was slightly taken aback; his flippant smile was suddenly a bit thin, and his eyes held a sort of calculating stern quality that I'd never seen before. For some reason I felt like he was patronizing me.

“Don't think I haven't noticed; this place is so boring. It seems to suck the life right out of people; when I first came in here, you looked shaken, as though you hadn't seen another person in days. It doesn't take a genius to see you dislike your current situation. But tell me: how badly do you want to leave this place?”

I wasn’t sure what to say, so I stalled. “Why do you ask all of a sudden?”

“Have you heard of Heaven’s Arena?”

“Isn’t that where people fight in tournaments and stuff?” I rested my cheek in my hand with a skeptical frown, not sure I liked where this conversation was headed.

“You win money for every opponent you beat. The higher you go up the ranks, the more you obtain. Even at the lower levels, you could earn enough to move somewhere else. You’d need a lot more training of course, but-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! No fuckin’ way!” I held up my hands. “I don’t know much, but I know those people are a shit ton stronger than me. It's not worth it.”

“I see. You’d rather stay here and rot? Oh don’t glare at me.” Hisoka chuckled. “It's funny. You have a sliver of hope, but you’ll let it go out of blind fear. That tough attitude you project doesn't add up to anything.”

“Hey, we can’t all be clowns with fuckin’ super powers.” I stood up with a defiant scowl and pointed toward the door. “Look, it’s nearly closing time. I gotta lock up.”

Hisoka shrugged. “Goodbye then.”

As soon as I was done, I secured my purse around my shoulder and began the walk home, still feeling a bit irritated.

_“What does he know anyway? I don’t even want to fight...I just want to be left alone.”_

Even so, Hisoka’s words rang in my mind and I couldn't help question myself. Of course, that wasn't anything new.

But was I making excuses? I wasn’t one for being confident and I truthfully was wary of change; but the tournament was still a long time away. Could it be possible for me to get strong enough to at least make enough money to get out of the neighborhood? Was it more worth the risk than I believed?

The idea was more than tempting the longer I pondered the possibilities; to be able to live in a secure area, to walk in the street without fearing for my life or my money was something that seemed so remote. It just wasn't going to happen. People were born here, they live here, and die here. It was just the way things were.

 _“They’ve all just given up. This place is all they know....it's all I know and I don't think I could handle any more disappointment.”_ I smiled somberly to myself. _“Sorry to disappoint Hisoka...I guess I’ really am just the same…”_

A second later I heard steps hitting the pavement behind me; I snapped out of my self putting state, and my arm was rung out so my purse could be taken off it. The stranger didn’t even say anything, just breathed harshly as he attempted to bolt around the corner.

“HEY FUCKER!”

I tackled his legs and he fell, hitting his chin against the sidewalk and temporarily blurring his vision; I took advantage of his moment of weakness to slam my fist into the back of his head over and over again. After a minute, he grew still and groaned weakly as I took my purse from his hand. I stood up on shaky legs, my eyes glaring down contemptuously as the adrenaline still buzzed through me.

“One fuckin’ night of peace, is that too much to fucking ask for?!”

I was so upset, I didn’t even hear the other man come up from behind me as I kicked the first man in the side in a petty gesture of rage.

But I did hear a whistle of wind and felt it breeze past my cheek; when I turned around to see where the blurred object went, I was face to face with a second man, staggering where he stood and most likely drunk. I raised my fists but found immediately there was no need to be on the offensive; my eyes caught sight of the shiny liquid staining his skin as he hacked.

As I found my fists slowly unclenching, a low gurgle came from his throat and the blood steadily poured out of the open wound in his neck; he fell to the ground, curling in on himself, choking and thrashing like a fish out of water.

I fell to my knees and reached out to his neck on instinct, taking off my scarf with one hand as I tried to see what was lodged in his skin. I trembled violently as I yanked out the playing card with a sharp cry of my own and hurriedly pressed my scarf against his neck to stop the bleeding.

“Would you mind handing that back?”

I started as Hisoka appeared at my side, standing a bit behind me. He was smiling calmly, eyes trained on the man with satisfaction.

“Hisoka!” I felt relieved instantly, but my anxiety built back up a second later; the blood was seeping through the scarf rapidly. My would be mugger was staring up at me, lips moving soundlessly. Pleadingly.

He knew he was about to die.

“Hisoka, call for an ambulance!”

He cocked his head to the side. “Why?”

“Why?! He’s dying!” I stared up at him incredulously. “Hisoka, there’s a phone in my pocket, grab it and call them!”

“There’s no point.” Hisoka gestured to the man; I turned my gaze back to him. The scarf was soaked. My hands were stained, though the wound has stopped bleeding. I felt them go numb as I stared into his lifeless eyes.

He knew he was going to die. In those final moments of pain, his life ended by bleeding out on a cold, dirty street.

“See?” Hisoka took back his card and made it disappear with a flourish of his hand. “You shouldn’t be out alone at night you know. But I suppose this is a regular occurrence here.”

I didn’t say a word; after a moment, I tore my eyes away and reached for my phone, fingers fumbling to find the district’s emergency number. It was a welcome distraction, a task to ground myself back in reality and to keep the bile from rising in my throat.

“Mindy?”

I took a gulp and paused to fight the nausea; now wasn’t the time. I had begun dialing the number just as Hisoka snatched the phone from my hands.

“What-give it back!” I demanded shrilly; Hisoka just stared down, eyes narrowed in what might have been disgust. I must have looked like a panicking mess, but I couldn't care less at the moment.

“Don’t tell me you’re trying to contact the authorities on me? I don’t blame you for being frightened, but if you can recall, I saved you from this-” he lightly kicked the corpse and I winced violently. “That's very ungrateful of you. Not to mention, as a Hunter, the police have no jurisdiction over me in this matter.”

“Give it back you asshole!” I jumped to my feet, clawing my way up to try to grab the phone. “I need to call an ambulance!”

“He’s already dead.” Hisoka looked genuinely confused. “They can’t do anything for him-”

“I know dammit, but-but-” I couldn’t reach my phone as he held it high over his head; my eyes were stinging and my face screwed up in frustration as I gripped the fabric of his ridiculous get up. “The body...what if…?”

“If?”

I shook my head and looked down; if I looked at him any longer, I would get sick right there. "God, you didn’t have to kill him...”

“You didn’t even notice he was there.” Hisoka countered. “He probably would have killed you; but, that’s not to say you’re wrong. I didn’t need to kill him. I just don’t particularly care.”

“I can take care of myself...I always have.”

Hisoka laughed heartily. “Look at you, crying and throwing a fit when you should be thankful to be alive.”

“Just give me my phone.” My voice was so soft, I wasn’t sure if he even heard it; I tried to reason with him, which I was sure wouldn't work, but my current state of mind was too shot to consider that. 

“He might have a family. Someone might be waiting for him...the hospital can take him away. Dammit, I’m not asking you to do anything. Just give me back my phone!” I bent my head and let the tears fall as my shoulders shook with restrained sobs; it was too far from my reach to grab and Hisoka looked pointedly unmoved. “They can at least have his body! What the hell is-this isn’t right, letting him rot outside in the middle of nowhere!”

I felt the cold plastic of my phone pressed into my hand.

“I’ll call. If I do, then you won’t be questioned.” Hisoka’s hands were on my shoulders as he pushed me back. “You’re really no fun when you’re like this. I’ll give you some time to leave; do try to pull yourself together, hm?"

I didn’t look at him as I walked away; it wasn’t until I got home that I threw up in the toilet, the vomit rushing into my nose and making me even more nauseous. I spent an hour just standing under the running shower head, and by the time I was dried off and in bed, I still felt awful. I felt dead.

I felt sick.

_“I wasn’t strong enough...if I was, I could’ve stopped him myself…”_

I knew it meant nothing to Hisoka to do what he did. I wasn’t about to waste time and tell him how to live his life; it wasn’t any of my business, but this time, he had made it so. Violence wasn’t anything new, but to know a man was dead because of my inability to act...how was I supposed to think?

 _“He tried to rob me. No...goddammit, he didn’t deserve to get cut up like that!”_ I grabbed my head in my hands and tugged at my hair harshly, anything to stop the wave of pain surging through my chest as I unwillingly felt the warm blood on my hands. Hisoka was right; I was weak.

_“It’s my fault…..I'm sorry....I'm sorry-"_

I fell asleep eventually too exhausted to stay awake, the sound of the man's skin being sliced through and the smell of copper invading my dreams while I writhed under the blankets through my nausea and fear.

I didn't want to die here, not like that man. I had to get out.

_"I'm so fucking sorry..."_


	4. Aftermath

Nine months later, not much had changed.

“How are you doin’ that?”

“Huh?”

Mr. Weimen stared at me in concentration as I set down the crates of soda liters.

“How the hell are you holding those up? Are you on steroids?” His voice was mostly indifferent. “You know damn well I can’t keep you if you’re a druggie.”

“I’m not on drugs!” I said immediately. “Jesus…”

“Yeah, you’re arms look pretty sturdy.” Mr. Weiman clapped me on the back. “Stomach still jiggles a bit though.”

“Alright, alright, are you satisfied I’m not on anything?” I rolled my eyes and picked up another crate from the truck.

“Keep up the good work. I only got you for two more weeks, and I want my money’s worth.” Mr. Weimen chuckled and left for his ringing office phone. I sighed wearily and took the last of the boxes inside and began unpacking the soda, feeling  abit of pride at having my accomplishment noticed.

Everyday I came home and trained, sometimes well into the latest hours. At first I had skipped eating altogether, but soon found that to be stupid and detrimental to my progress. Even then, I trained almost constantly and only slept for a few hours; I couldn’t stop myself. I could barely sleep ever since the incident with Hisoka.

_“I haven’t seen him since then either….wonder what he’s up to? Probably fighting or maybe he took a new job?”_

I really only knew so much from his handful of visits; he didn’t talk much about his own life, instead deflecting my inquiries to questions about myself.

 _“Is he trying to hide something? Nah, that's can't be it. He doesn’t seem to care what anyone thinks of him, so why would he?”_ I scratched my head lightly. “What a pain in the ass.”

“Mindy, there you are.”

“Shit!” I spun around, nearly jumping out of my skin. “What the hell-do you think you’re Batman or something?!”

“It’s not my fault you aren’t more aware of your surroundings.” Hisoka took a liter of soda and swirled the liquid around the bottle in faint amusement. “If your senses were keener, I wouldn’t have needed to step in.”

My face turned impassive. “I know.”

Hisoka followed me as I shelved the bottles in the refrigerators. “I saw you holding these up with ease...what does a crate weigh? Fifty pounds each?”

“Dunno. Probably.” I said absently as I returned to the counter. “Did you need help finding anything?”

“How cold. Don’t tell me, you’re still upset I killed that thug?” Hisoka smiled coldly down at me. “That childish look doesn’t suit you.”

“Did I ask for your help?”

“No. It was purely a coincidence really.” Hisoka confessed. “I was itching for a real fight, but-" he shrugged. "I'll take what I can get if I'm desperate enough."

I couldn’t look at him. “I get it. I don’t expect you to understand it. Next time, if you gotta kill someone, don’t get me involved.”

“You're really are being a brat right now.”

I couldn’t mistake the edge in his tone as his eyes narrowed.

“Perhaps I should-”

“Dammit, listen.” I ground out. “I’m not-I know how you’re like, that’s not the problem.” I felt tears well up in my eyes; I didn't want to deal with this. “Hisoka, just get what you need alright? It’s over with.”

“Yet you’re still treating me as if I was a criminal. It really doesn't matter, but I don’t appreciate liars my dear.” Hisoka took a step forward. “You pretend like everything’s fine, then you act like I’m the bad guy, and you blame me for your weakness.”

I slammed my fist against the counter, anger spurred on by the slight stinging of my hand. “Did I ever once say I blame you?! I know I’m weak, I don’t need you to fucking remind me!” I didn’t care if Mr. Weimen heard; he knew who Hisoka was and would probably stay up in his office until later.

“I know you don’t understand…” I clenched my fists tighter. “It’s my fault...I’ve been working all this time to get stronger, so something like that won’t happen again. I just want to protect myself...dammit, I never wanted anyone to die.”

“You must be joking.” Hisoka asked tonelessly. “You honestly feel bad that a man who might have killed you is dead? You’re telling me you don’t feel glad to be safe now?”

“I am.” I said firmly. Guiltily. “But that doesn’t mean I’m happy. No matter what he did, he was just a guy like anyone else. And now he’s dead and-”

Hisoka stared as I put a hand to my trembling mouth; I took shallow breaths to calm down, internally begging him to just go and let me break down without his scrutiny.

“You broke it.”

“H-huh?” I sniffed and blew my nose with my handkerchief; as I raised my other hand to stow it away, I noticed something wet dripping down my wrist. It stained the cloth red.

There was a gaping hole in the middle of the counter.

“My, my, you really have been working hard, haven’t you?” Hisoka’s eyes glinted and his smile grew wide.

“Shit!” I hissed and haphazardly wrapped my knuckle. “Dammit, I better win a few matches, ‘cause now I gotta pay for this!”

“I suppose it’s time for me to be off. I only came to see if the half off sale was still going on.” Hisoka turned away as I fretted over the property damage.

“It ended yesterday.” I sighed heavily. “Thanks for stopping by…”

“Mindy, do you hate me?”

I looked at him straight for the first time since he got there. “No.”

“You’re so boring when you get a defeatist attitude. Cheer up my dear; perhaps when you’re stronger, I can show you some real fun.”

“Right…” I nodded as he left with a skeptical smile; I doubted Hisoka’s idea of fun was exactly in line with mine.

“Tata for now~”

As soon as Hisoka was out of sight, I looked at the counter with a scrutinizing gaze. _“I...did this?”_

I knew I had been getting stronger, but even so, it shouldn’t have been possible to do what I had just done. It was one thing to lift fifty pounds, but to punch a hole through a solid surface?

“MINDY!”

I snapped my head to see Mr. Weimen’s jaw nearly dropped to the floor.

“I’ve had that counter since ‘86…”

“I-I can explain!”

“YOU BETTER WIN MONEY OR I’LL KICK THE CRAP OUT OF YOU MYSELF!”

“I’m sorry, I’ll-!”

Hisoka chuckled and leaned back from the store’s wall; in the blink of an eye, any trace of him was gone.


	5. Nen

“Fuck you!” I slammed my fist into my opponent’s nose with a low crunch; I could feel it break. “I didn’t get on a two hour bus drive to have your fat ass eat my motherfucking cookies!!!”

“W-who are you callin’ fat?” The significantly larger man wobbled in place; I huffed and took one more swing, sending him over the edge of the platform.

“You, fuckin’ fat ass thief.” I spat and stomped my foot; I had accidentally left my suite door open. Attempting to take advantage of the lack of security on the lesser floors, my latest opponent thought he could cheat and find a way to sabotage my training. He didn't count on triggering a small silent alarm and alerting the personnel, who still didn't see this as a reason to kick him out. On top of that, once I returned to my room, my cookies were gone.

“Mindy has beaten Canyon at her best score of 8-3.”

I took off one of my gloves and wiped the blood running from my nose with a tired smile; as soon as I was back in my room, it dawned on me that I had a decision to make.

“I’m on floor 199….” I laid back in the soft bed; I wasn’t sure I would really make it this far. It had only been a month and here I was with enough money to pay Mr. Weimen, move into a nicer place, have a savings. It sent my head spinning; I never thought I could have so much money in my life, but even so....

I looked up at the ceiling; I had only so much time before I had to schedule a match on the 200th floor.

I could leave now. I could take the money I have and leave. What more did I want?

 _“But I’m so close...it’s right there.”_ I gazed up blankly. _“I actually made it and I have a chance to-”_

To do what?

Something was missing and after some deliberation, I couldn’t bring myself to check out.

 _“I can’t back out now.”_ I thought with determination as I made my way to the elevator; I was really going to do it. _“I want...I need to know how much farther I can go.”_

All this time I had been cultivating my skills, my muscles aching, my skin bruised and scraped, and it had all led me to this place. I worked so hard and now it was paying off; it was something that had never happened before.

The trip here was enough to amaze me; I had never been outside of my neighborhood, had never had a reason. What was the point in going on trips to places you had no business being or would even be able to afford to stay, knowing you'd have to go home to a dump? I stared up in awe at the buildings and the people as the bus I rode made it's way right in front of Heaven's Arena. 

I remembered looking up until my neck was sore at the tallest building I was sure ever existed; I didn't give a thought to going farther than even one hundred floors, but here I was.

I smiled softly as I pressed the up button and the elevator chimed. “I can do this.”

“I beg to differ.”

Hisoka appeared at the side of the elevator doors.

“What the fuck?!” I leaped back. “Stop doing that-wait, what are you doing here?”

“I thought it would be obvious.” Despite his light tone, Hisoka wasn’t smiling. “You’ve made significant process.”

“Hisoka, are you going up too? I didn’t even know you were here.”

“I am.”

“Oh.” I smiled. “It’s nice to see you again at any rate. I don’t really know anyone else here.”

“As happy as I am to see you too, this is where you get off.”

The elevator doors slammed shut.

“Hey!” I jabbed my finger against the up button over and over. “What the hell did you do?!”

“You don’t belong up here.” Hisoka made a swift gesture with his hand and the doors reopened slowly. “You’re nowhere near ready my dear. I’ll tell you nicely this once; leave now and take your winnings.”

“Hold on a damn minute; last time I checked you weren’t in charge. You have no right to tell me where I can and can’t go!” I seethed.

“Goodbye.” Hisoka slowly raised a hand, fingers spread and covering his slight grin.

I froze up as my back was forced to the wall of the elevator, body screaming at me to retreat. I let out a high pitched gasp as the doors slammed shut and the elevator was sent plummeting to the ground floor. The doors eventually opened with a bright chime and I crawled out, limbs shaking violently.

 _“How...?”_ I breathed shakily. _“What was that?”_

I got my breathing under control and grit my teeth. “This isn’t over dammit!”

“If you go back up there, you’ll be as good as dead.”

Above me stood a man with glasses and an untucked shirt; he was looking down soberly at me as I struggled to get up.

“Who the hell are you?”

“You can call me Wing. Look, just trust me, you’d be better off leaving now. You’re not strong enough to last up there.” Wing’s voice was almost flippant, but there was a clear warning.

“What?! But I’ve made it this far already, I can’t give up now!” I told him. “He has no right to keep me out! I’ll walk up the stairs if I have to-”

“Don’t be foolish.” Wing placed a hand on my shoulder. “Listen to me; you felt it didn’t you, even if you couldn’t see it with your eyes? You saw what he did to the elevator at least, right?”

“...what the hell was that?” I asked him as I forced myself to calm down. “Whatever Hisoka did...what, can everyone on the 200th floor do that?”

“In a manner of speaking.” Wing confessed. “It’s not that simple. That...power isn’t something you just pick up. It can be dangerous. You should leave now, for your own best interest.”

“You sound like you know a lot.” I looked at him beseechingly. “Isn’t there any way? I just...I worked so hard. Isn’t there anything I can do?”

Wing’s mouth was set in a thin line. “...I could teach it to you. But this isn’t something you can just learn in the span of a day. I can teach you enough to get in, but even then…”

“Thank you Wing!” I beamed excitedly. “I promise, I won’t slack off!”

“Aren’t you just cheerful?” Wing rubbed his forehead with a tired smile. “Alright then. I’m going to find my student and we’ll go back to my home nearby. As I said, this isn’t something just anyone can learn or bear witness to; typically, only Hunters are trained to know it. You need to keep this a secret.”

I stared in confusion as he led me out of the building. “What is it though? What’s the mystery?”

Wing gave me a easy smile. “Nen.”


	6. Warning

“This is…”

“How does it feel?” Wing asked as he examined my posture; Zushi stood behind me, eyes wide as he looked on in bewilderment. 

I closed my eyes tightly, trying to let myself relax and grow accustomed to the feeling. “Wow. This is…”

“I know; the sensation might take some getting used-”

“THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME!”

Wing and Zushi started as I jumped up and down quickly, shaking my clenched fists as I tried to contain my glee. “Oh my god, it feels so weird! It’s like I’ve been dunked into hot soup or something! Is it supposed to feel this warm?”

“The feeling is similar for most, though results may vary.” Wing held back an amused smile. “But Mindy, please take this a bit more seriously. This is just the beginning of what you need to learn.”

“Sorry, it’s just,” I giggled and grinned as I looked down at my hands; I felt safe, wrapped up in this strange, seemingly invisible shield. The sensation was new to me, but at the same time, it couldn't have been more natural. It brought to mind a hose being bent up with the water running; you just had to straighten it up for the water to come rushing out as intended. Once it did, it was like an uncontrollable burst. 

"I guess it's only expected for you to be fascinated; you generally can feel the aura pretty intensely when your nodes are first unlocked." Wing commented.

“This really is amazing...I can’t believe I can do this…”

“You did and it barely took you anytime at all.”

Zushi was frowning slightly to himself, shoulders hunched as he looked down at the ground; I dropped my hands to my sides and gave Wing a questioning look.

“Zushi, you’re well on your way. It’s just a matter of more training.” Wing put a hand on his pupil's shoulder with a light smile.

“Your shirt's untucked again.”

“Oops.”

I silently laughed behind my hand; Zushi smiled too bashfully as Wing hastily straightened out his shirt.

“Anyway, learning ten isn’t enough to be able to win matches, but now you should be able to withstand Hisoka’s nen.” Despite his positive words, Wing’s expression was anything but congratulatory.

“Wing, don’t worry. Shit, even if I lose one match, it’ll just give me more time to train, right?” I said cheerfully. “And you’ve already been such a big help.”

“You overestimate me.”

“No, I mean it.” I smiled and looked him in the eye. “If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t even know I could do something like this. I mean, to think, it’s been a part of me all this time...win or lose, I’m grateful to you.”

“You don’t understand.”

I watched in concern as Wing sat down on the couch heavily, sighing in exasperation; Zushi looked back and forth between us with worriedly.

“What’s the matter?” I felt a small pit develop in my stomach at his expression; everything was going so well just a moment ago and now my new acquaintance looked so troubled out of nowhere.

“Is it because she isn’t a Hunter?” Zushi asked tentatively; he too was looked confused. “It’s not like she’s going to use it for anything bad...don’t you trust her?”

“That’s not it.” Wing said. “Mindy...don’t you think it was odd how you needed to learn nen and someone who could teach you just happened to appear?”

“Well, not really.” I shrugged. “I mean, Zushi is here for the tournament and you’re his teacher. I just chalked it up to a good coincidence…and most people at the higher levels do know nen, so it really isn't that weird in hindsight...”

Wing shook his head with a smile. “For someone so on their guard, you have a bad habit of not analyzing and taking things at face value.”

“Gee thanks.” I frowned to myself. “Hey Wing?”

“Yes?”

“...back when I was working, I got mad and punched a hole in the counter by accident.” I laughed a bit at the memory, oblivious to his disconcerted stare.

"Accident?" Zushi looked at me warily.

“Yeah, I sort of lost it...so, I was wondering,” I sat down heavily on the couch next to him. “Could that have been due to the nen thing? I’ve been training for over a year now with boxing, but there's no way a regular punch could do that, right? I can’t see how else it could've happened.”

“Are you a hot tempered person?”

I shook my head quickly. “No, not really. Hisoka just pisses me off sometimes. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I had actually been angry like that..."

Wing put a finger to his chin thoughtfully. “I suppose it’s possible you could have activated it without meaning to.”

“Oh wow. I still owe my old boss money for the damages too...”

“Well, you should be able to register now.” Wing told me briskly. “Good luck, and remember to practice ten before moving onto anything else.”

The elevator was working perfectly as I took it up to the 200th floor; I braced myself as the numbers blinked and felt a swooping sensation the higher the elevator climbed up the steel cables. Maybe it was easy enough to learn ten, but this was more than just getting ready for another battle. I had a barrier to bust through in the form of a really irritating, but really powerful asshole; one that wanted me to prove something to him. One that had high standards for me; I don't think until that moment anyone else had ever expected more from me than what I was. 

I couldn’t put a single term on what I was feeling; I felt determined, excited, wary, a little nervous. My stomach was churning slightly in anticipation as they mixed together and seemed to propel me forward. I had potential.

 _“I’m not scared; I **want** to go up there. I feel proud.” _ I closed my eyes and breathed in and out. _“I want Hisoka to be there so I can show him what I can do...I want-”_

The doors slide open with a ring, but no one was there.

My shoulders slumped ever so slightly before three men came out and I inwardly cringed at the sight of them, and not just because of how strange and sinister they all looked.

_“Why the hell does everyone here look like they’re from the circus?”_

“Oh, we got another new one.”

The shortest of them was wrapped in what looked like a red cloak; the second man with slit like eyes on shorty's right smiled as though his companion had just made a clever joke.

“Uh, hi.” I began dully.

“Hello. You seem a bit lost; the registration desk is over there miss.” The third man bound to a wheelchair pointed to his left; there really wasn't anything particularly threatening about any of them, but I still felt a chill go up my spine as I passed by.

“Thanks.” I smiled briefly for politeness sake.

“Of course.”

 

 

 

 

**Third Person POV:**

“Well, this will be another easier year at least.” Gido shuddered at the memory of Gon nearly killing him; he never really gotten over the idea of a mere boy defeating him.

Sadaso nodded with a grin. “This year’s contestants are almost too pathetic to worry about.”

“Don’t let your guard down. It doesn’t matter what they look like, we just need to rack up the wins.” Riehlvelt chided them.

“Good idea. One should always be cautious of their opponents.”

“Who-?” Gido froze as he turned his head around. “Oh, Hisoka...you’re competing again?”

“Certainly.” Hisoka nodded with a friendly smile and walked toward the group; all three of them stiffened as he passed them. “I thought I would offer a word of advice to three veterans.”

Sadaso’s smile dropped from his face. “Advice?”

“Yes; you’d be wise to listen~” Hisoka paused in the hallway, his tone perfectly cordial. But they knew better; they weren't veterans of this tournament for no reasons. Everyone who knew better was aware of Hisoka's reputation and what it meant to catch his eye. Worse still if you managed to get him insulted. 

"What advice do you have to offer?" Riehvelt asked as pleasant as he could.

“That girl is not yours to break.”

No one said anything for a tense moment; Riehvelt’s hands gripped a bit tightly on his armrests as the hallway seemed to fog over with the appearance of a downright malevolent aura leaking through every crevice. From what he could tell, Sadaso and Gido could sense it too; Hisoka broke the silence with a chuckle as a card appeared in his hand. He twirled it around a few times before pointing it in their direction in a faux attack that caused them to nearly jump out of their skins.

“I do hope we understand each other?”

“Y-yeah.”

“We understand.”

“Oh good! I don’t like people getting in my way.” Hisoka began walking away with a slight bounce in his step. “So long, and don’t forget our little chat~”

The fog seemed to lift and once Hisoka had turned the corner, they let their breath out.

“What the hell…”

Gido hopped in the opposite direction. “Let’s go. We’d best be on our way before he changes his mind.”

“That guy...he’s just,” Sadaso shivered under his robe.

“Just be glad we won’t have to face him in the arena.” Riehvelt smiled ruefully and rolled himself into the elevator along with the other two. “Better her than us.”


	7. What You Have and What You Don't

“Mindy...Master Wing said we should meditate.” Zushi balked slightly as I piled a variety of meat on my plate.

“Zushi, look!” I squealed. “Squid, beef, scallops, pork! Damn I love this place!” I put a hand to my mouth. “Oh sorry!”

“It’s fine.” Zushi felt a tiny bit miffed at being treated like a child who needed to be shielded from ‘adult words’; after all, he was a prodigy, and didn’t that count for something?

“Come on Zushi, try it!” I picked an oyster from the table of food; the setup was that people could get in a line, pile their plate with veggies, meats, noodles, rice, their choice of sauce, and get it grilled by a chef right in front of them. My mouth was watering as I added a few mushrooms to my increasingly full dish.

“Wow, a vegetable.”

“Oh shut up.” I muttered with a slight blush. “I never get to eat stuff like this, so I’m taking advantage of it now. Waste not want not, ya know?”

“You don’t?” Zushi’s plate was a modest mix of broccoli and beef with teriyaki sauce.

“No, not really.” I said distractedly as I handed the chef my plate and smiled giddily when the food sizzled.

“Why?”

My smile faltered ever so slightly; leave it to Zushi to ask a somewhat uncomfortable question so bluntly. Still, he was just a kid, no matter how skilled. Kids were less prone to mince words; yet...he was a kid. There were things I just didn't feel like he should hear. Hell, there were things I didn't want to talk about with anyone.

“Well, honestly…” I gave him a careless shrug. “This kind of stuff is a bit expensive for me. I only get to eat like this usually on holidays or when I get extra money.”

“Oh.” Zushi watched as the chef began cooking his own lunch. “Mindy, what kind of place do you live in?”

“Eh, not that great of one.” I decided to skip details. “Did I tell you I worked at a convenience store?”

“Oh yeah, and you owe money.”

I frowned. “Thanks for reminding me…”

Zushi smiled up at me. “Let’s go eat!”

We took a table in the corner; there wasn’t as many people as I thought would be eating there, maybe about twenty or so other contestants.

“Hey Zushi, do most of these guys go out for food?”

“I guess.” Zushi pulled apart his chopsticks with a thoughtful look. “You eat free here, but maybe some people don’t like the food?”

“Seriously?! Fuck that, more for us!” I raised my glass of milk and cheered; at this rate everyone would start thinking I was the child, but I felt too ecstatic to care.

“What about training?”

“Aw, we’ll get to it. Just think how easy it’ll be for us to relax and meditate on full stomachs.” I shoveled piece after piece of tender beef into my mouth. “Oh my god...I may move in.”

“You know, if you make it to Floor Master, you could live here.”

“Really? Nah, let’s face it, I’m not the best fighter. I doubt I’ll even win more than a few matches while I’m up here.”

Zushi’s brow furrowed. “Then why go through all this trouble?”

I lowered my chopsticks. “Trouble?”

“Learning how to box, about nen, quitting your job. If you don’t want to continue to hone your skills, what’s the point of any of this?” Zushi voice was getting more frustrated as he spoke. "I mean, why even bother if you're not going to give it your all?"

I shrugged. “Hey, I got my reasons.”

The meal continued in tense silence that continued as I walked with Zushi out of the dining hall. He hadn’t said another word and seemed to avoid looking at me. I felt guilty, but for what, I hadn’t a clue.

“Zushi, you okay?”

He stopped and balled his fists. “It’s not fair.”

“Huh?” I blinked.

“It’s not fair...you don’t care about training or martial arts. You don’t seem to care about anything but eating and money. I worked hard to get this strong and it came so easy for you!” Zushi didn’t look so much angry as just plain upset; I automatically knelt down in front of him.

“Zushi, don't talk like that. I admire you. I think it’s amazing how dedicated you are. My reasons for doing this aren’t much.” I confessed a bit awkwardly. "I'll be honest, I'm not the best with the whole motivation thing."

He seemed a bit calmer as he looked into my eyes. “Then why? There’s got to be a reason. You told Master Wing just the other day you only took up boxing a little over a year ago.”

I looked around. “Zushi, come with me. I don't want people to overhear, okay?”

He followed me into my suite and we sat down on the couch; I cringed as the cushions sank a bit under my weight and tried to remember it was probably just due to the plush fabric. At any rate, I was just glad I could divulge this sort of information in private; I didn't need the whole world getting in my business.

“Okay, listen up.” I took a deep breath to gather my thoughts. “There’s a couple reasons why I got myself into this shit. One is for the money, to get out of my old neighborhood. And the second reason is sorta because of the first reason…"

Zushi said nothing as he waited for me to articulate.

“You know, I was blown away when I came here.” I looked out the window; it was already pretty dark, but the city lights made everything glow brighter than the sun. “People walk around everywhere, they talk to each other; it’s so full of life. It’s not like this where I’m from.”

"What is it like?"

I smiled wearily at his curious expression, amused that anyone would be so interested in my story. Then again, he was young; he might not know better yet.

“People avoid each other...you hear everyday about some new thing happening. Someone got shot, someone got beaten up, someone was robbed on this corner, a family got evicted and ended up homeless, their kid got busted for doing something; you could call the police for help, but they don’t come, not for a shit hole like that. They just don’t care.”

“You go there and you talk to the people who live in the area, and you can just tell; everyone looks washed up, tired, scared, or they just don’t care about anything. But I couldn’t stand it anymore.”

“If you don’t mind me asking...why didn’t you leave sooner?” Zushi leaned back against the couch, hands curled in his lap. "I can't imagine wanting to stay."

“There’s no excuse; I gave up. I was just weak and used to it all. I didn’t care either for a long time.” I leaned back into the couch and poked his shoulder. “Then I met Hisoka.”

Zushi had listened to me talk with an air of sobriety and attentiveness; now his eyes were wide as saucers. “What do you mean?”

“It was so out of the blue.” I told him with a smile as I reminisced. “Hisoka came waltzing into the store, and outsiders don’t usually even come to our neighborhood, at least not without a damn good reason. He wanted gum, and he could’ve gotten it from any place.”

“Gum…?”

“Yeah.” I chuckled. “You know, he was the first person I saw who looked...I don't know, alive? He came in all smiles and I thought he was funny looking, but then…I realized I was envious.”

Zushi was really looking flabbergasted now; I was tempted to pinch his cheek, but the way he looked at me gave me the idea he was actually a bit scared.

“Why would you be envious of him? Hisoka is-”

“I know, I know. But you gotta admit, his confidence, his certainty, his strength...it’s something to be admired. I remember how silly I felt to be intimidated by a circus clown reject. But at the same time, I couldn’t help ask myself...how do I do that? ”

Zushi looked sympathetic as I sighed sadly. “How can someone like me walk like he does, without any fear, and be able to look at people straight? I never wanted to do something so badly in my entire life Zushi, except get out and start over somewhere else.” I ran a hand through my hair. “How do I get to that place?”

“Mindy, you’re already here.”

I looked at him questioningly; Zushi was smiling, really smiling like the answer was so simple.

“You’ve got a lot of potential; you were able to pick yourself up and work hard and come here. That's something isn't it?” Suddenly, Zushi bit his lip and bowed his head. “I’m sorry for earlier. I didn’t understand.”

“Oh no, you had every right to be pissed!” I waved my hand rapidly. “I never even thought about how you might be feeling; at any rate, I need to take a page from your book and stop stuffing my face.”

“....you know…” Zushi ventured. “We never got dessert.”

“....”

“....”

“....”

“....”

“There’s dessert?”

As we raced each other down the hallway, I realized for the first time how happy I was to be here.

I was discovering so many things about myself and the world outside my little town; there was a whole new world I was only just realizing I could be a part of. If that wasn’t enough, I was making friends and eating good food. How could things get any better?

“What a simple minded girl she is.”

Hisoka watched with faint interest as Zushi managed to trip me during our race; I caught up to him and carried him in a fireman’s lift all the way to the elevator, our laughter echoing down what we assumed was an empty hallway.

 _“Time is running out.”_ Hisoka walked in the opposite direction. _“If I face her now, that smile will be wiped right off her face. I suppose it’s good to let her have her fun for the time being.”_


	8. Smoking Kills

Standing in front of Heaven’s Arena, I craned my neck up as far as it could go and stared at the very top. It looked like it could poke a hole in the sky; if it could, I wouldn’t have been too surprised. In all honesty, I had seen much weirder things at this point in my life. 

 _“How did they even make this thing? It's so tall.”_ I pondered as I walked tiredly inside, going straight to the elevator; I was clutching my bag close to my side out of habit as I got in with a few other people. _“Looks like it’d just tip over eventually.”_

The building was just one of the very many things I had been thinking over on my way back; Wing and Zushi had walked with me for some time around the city, helping me to get better acquainted with the area. I didn’t always want to stay in the tower, but I didn’t know where anything was; maybe it was a newcomer's perspective, but the city seemed so glamorous in it's own way, at least it was a much nicer place than my dinky town could ever hope to be.

 _“And some people live in places like this all the time.”_ I thought as my floor came up; I had won a couple matches by the skin of my teeth and was privileged with an even nicer room on another floor.

Every night I went to sleep in a soft clean bed; it was so high up, I always stumbled getting out because I kept forgetting it’s height. Then every morning, noon, and evening I was able to eat perfectly made meals with the kind of food that would have cost a whole months worth of pay to afford; even though prize money was no longer given, the rest of the stuff was free and it seemed contestants on these floors got the best of everything.

I smiled grimly once I was alone and in front of my suite, locking the door firmly behind me before putting away my bags. _“Maybe they want to give us a good send off if we end up dead.”_

At the time, I was exhausted enough to feel half dead; it was a fun day, but hours spent walking around, chasing after a hyperactive Zushi (who hadn't actually gone site seeing before due to being preoccupied with training), and carrying bags of treats and clothes I had found at bargain prices, was taking it's toll. Before getting into the shower, I double checked the front door and locked my bathroom door; for such a nice place, I was surprised they had enough sense to add all these locks, but then again, nicer places also usually had better security.

“Shit.” I winced as the mildly warm water stung my cuts; they weren’t deep, but my last opponent wasn’t stingy with his blades. I was only just fast enough to avoid getting a limb cut clean off.

The sneer on his face from seeing I had no weapons of my own fell the second my knuckles smashed against his front teeth, effectively chipping one or two. I smiled with bitter satisfaction, thinking of the way his head cracked as he fell back; it had taken forever to get through the barrier of knives, but I was patient. Boxing required waiting for your opponent to let their guard down and if there was one thing I had learned in spades it was that good things came to those who wait; though I wasn't especially keen on violence, but I had to admit, it felt great to knock smug assholes down a few pegs.

_“God what an ass….I wonder how many of these will scar...”_

I looked down as the soap was rinsed off from my ruddy skin; at the least, the few lacerations had stopped bleeding long ago. With a small sigh, I let my hair fall in my face, leaning my head under the shower fixture; I really just needed to relax. Smug asshole or not, the last guy was strong and my future opponents were bound to get stronger.

_“Hisoka’s never been beaten, at least as far as I know. Is there anyone here that could win against him?”_

The idea was laughable really; still, I wondered if Hisoka had any scars himself.

He did fight often enough, but I doubted my theory anyway; despite incidents in my old home and in scuffles, I had never actually gotten cut deep enough to leave anything lasting. If I was right, it was something we had in common, albeit surely for different reasons. Hisoka might laugh.

“....I need a drink.”

The dining room was adjacent to a bar with leather seated stools and crystal encased light fixtures, glimmering and bright. It was the epitome of high class; even the bartender looked clean and professional, nothing like the schlubs that manned the establishments in my old neighborhood. The shelves were lined with shiny bottles of every kind of alcohol; despite it not being very late, there were only a few people at the bar.

The open bar.

_“Fucking score.”_

I grabbed a stool at the end and the bartender came over with a smile.

“What can I get you?” he asked briskly; it was a bit odd considering there were maybe three other patrons. What, was he that busy?

“A jack and coke.”

“On the rocks?”

“Yeah.” I nodded and handed him my card; the bar was open, but only to contestants. Simply put, no ID, no free stuff. “I wanna open a tab too.”

“Alright.” he smiled but looked a bit skeptical; I inwardly shrugged it off. He probably figured the harder stuff was more than I could handle.

 _“I mean, I made it up here didn’t I? If I can punch someone’s teeth out, I can hold my liquor in a mixed drink….”_ I rested my chin on my hand, sipping the drink and feeling my skin already warm up a bit; at least he wasn’t chintzy on the whiskey, and if the immediate affects meant anything, it must have been the good stuff. I surveyed the bar, glad to be able to unwind, but not quite feeling relaxed.

“Good thing I ate before coming here…”

“Why is that?” Hisoka’s voice sounded so close, but in reality he was sitting a respectable distance away to my left.

"H-hey." I tried to keep my voice level as I raised my glass awkwardly in greeting. "Uh, you know, if you don't eat before drinking you'll get smashed way faster."

He raised his own glass and smiled. “Care to join me? You look a lonesome sight all the way over there.”

“Sure.” I sat next to him and peered at his drink. “Whiskey sour guy huh?”

“You’ve got a good eye. Do you drink often?”

“No....well, not that often.” I chuckled dryly as I sipped the last drop from my glass. “So....what the hell was that earlier with the elevator?”

“Whatever do you mean my dear?”

I gave him my best no nonsense stare. “Cut the shit Hisoka.”

“A mean drunk. How original.”

“I had one drink. I’m not even buzzed.” I turned to the waiting bartender; he fidgeted with his hands a bit as Hisoka looked over at him. “Could I get a sex on the beach?”

He didn’t bat an eye as he went to work; the drink came back in a tall glass, colorful with a bright red cherry perched precariously on the top. I thanked him but wrinkled my nose as I plucked the cherry out of the glass. Hisoka was staring directly at me now.

“I don't like these.” I held it out to him. "You want my cherry?"

“There’s so many things I could say to that.” But whatever those things were, Hisoka did refrain from saying them out loud and instead held out a glass already topped with his own cherry, smiling as I dropped the fruit in.

“Yeah, yeah, are you gonna answer my question or what?” I was getting impatient.

“Oh you mean about blocking your way? It’s easy enough to understand.” Hisoka ate the cherry, holding it by the stem. “You weren’t ready to come up here.”

“How that’s any of your damn business?”

“Language.” Hisoka popped the stem in his mouth; a second later, he stuck his tongue out at me. On the tip was a perfectly tied knot.

“What, you want a cookie? Stop messing around and just give me a straight answer will ya?”

Hisoka shrugged. “Mindy, there’s not much else to say.”

I shook my head in exasperation, nose wrinkling at the smell of smoke; some guy wrapped in a cloak thing had swirls of white smoke coming from under his hood. By now a sight like this didn’t phase me as much as Hisoka's irritating smirk; though, the smell was a bit annoying. I tried to ignore it and turned back to my new drinking mate.

“Come on, why stop me from coming up? If I got stomped, then it doesn’t hurt your chances of being a Floor Master.”

“Who said I wanted to be? Though now that you mention it, I’m sure the opponents up there would give me a good time…” Hisoka raised his own cherry to his lips and gave it a slow lick.

“Could you stop being creepy for five seconds? Christ, everyone in this place is fucking weird, except Zushi and Wing.”

“Could you stop being abrasive for five seconds?”

“I’m not being ‘abrasive’, I’m irritated. Nothing about this makes sense.” I sighed and downed half of my drink, the sweet citrus flavor going down pretty smoothly. “I get you got your reasons for shit, but why can’t you stay out of my shit?”

“I want to challenge you.”

“....what.”

Hisoka nodded and took a sip from his sour. “I’m not about to waste time fighting a novice. But now you know nen and you’ve made some progress, I suppose we could enter the ring together. At any rate...you have a chance of beating me."

“It’s not all about you, ya know.”

“Are you saying you don’t want to fight?” Hisoka asked leaning forward; his hooded eyes managed to be both distracting and striking. “Do you think you’ll lose since I’m more experienced? I’m sure you’ve heard of my….reputation around this place.”

Hisoka’s smile was subtly playful, the corners of his lips just barely quirked upward as his stare floored me to the stool. “Are you afraid I’ll kill you?”

“Well yeah, kinda.” I looked at him incredulously. “Maybe not kill me exactly, but…”

“You’re so suspicious.” Hisoka sat back and shook his head. “Or is it overcautious? No, I think both.”

The bartender looked a bit apprehensive himself about coming over, but he brought us our drinks regardless; the mystery man was still smoking quietly. I don’t think he even took the cigarette out when he drank. As a matter of fact, I got the feeling he was just listening at this point, a casual observer to a not so casual conversation. Nice to be him.

“Would you like to move?” Hisoka asked. “This section does smell.”

“Nah, it’s not so bad.” I didn’t really want to be out of sight from people; I knew Hisoka wouldn’t start a fight now, but being around him was making me tense at the moment, so being almost completely alone with him wouldn't make me feel any better. Besides, the cloaked man had risen up and paid his tab before leaving.

“I used to date a smoker.” I took a sip and made a face once he was out of earshot. “Ugh, that was a trip. So-”

Hisoka had placed his drink down.

Hard.

  
  
“...so, when did you want to fight me?” I asked hesitantly; despite the sudden shiver that ran down my back, Hisoka looked completely at ease, gleeful in fact. Maybe I had imagined something was off; I got the idea he must have been surprised I could actually find a date; my overall look didn’t exactly scream experience. Or maybe he was just feeling excited at the prospect of fighting me and lost track of his motor skills momentarily. 

 _“I wouldn't be surprised if it was the former; everyone always seems shocked when I mention past dating now that I think of it.”_ I drank a generous amount of my drink glumly as I waited for his response or a jab.

“I was thinking a couple weeks from now? That’s when my deadline is up.” he looked at the large clock hanging in front of the bar’s many charming signs, displaying quaint sayings such as, ‘we don’t serve women, you must bring your own’ and ‘save water, drink beer’.

“Mindy, you look tired. Why don’t you go to your room and rest?”

I blinked and looked at the clock myself. “Yeah, sure...it is getting late. I’ll schedule my match later tomorrow then.”

“You changed your mind quickly.” Hisoka’s smile was relentlessly irritating. “Say, be honest; are you afraid of me?”

“Why do you keep asking that? Look, I'm not, but that doesn’t mean I feel like getting my ass kicked by you or anyone. Still, I…”

I paused as the bartender gave me back my card; I gave him a small smile and hopped down from my stool with a slightly more casual smile to Hisoka. “Well, anyway, goodnight.”

“Sleep well.” Hisoka waved. “I’ll look forward to our match.”

It took too long to get back to my room; the alcohol was already making my cheeks red and my head was slightly frazzled. I supposed I was a bit shocked; luckily, Hisoka didn't press me for details about my change of heart.

 _“I don’t really know how to explain it myself. Dammit, why does he-?”_ I sighed in defeat, twice as tired as I had been beforehand, and laid back on my bed. I took one last look out of the window, thinking seeing so many bright lights outside would make it hard to sleep, but it did the opposite. It was almost soothing somehow, to see so much life going on outside in this strange new place. I smiled and settled in. _“Maybe after our match I will…”_

 

**Third Person POV:**

  
  
  
  
_“Can’t a man smoke without people making a fuss?”_

The man didn’t like turning in early, but ever since that Hisoka sat down at the bar he had been feeling chills run up his spine; smoking was the only way to calm his nerves. He drew his cloak tighter over his neck to keep away the cold that was beginning to creep back at the thought of-

“Who’s there?!” the man barked and stopped in his tracks; before he could fully turn around, he felt a prick at the back of his neck, the cold intensifying as he fell to the ground before his vision was gone.

“Hm, they say smoking leads to an early grave. Nasty habit, not suitable to do around others.” Hisoka bent down to pick his card from the man’s bleeding nape, wiping the blood off on the man’s clothes. "By the way, would you like to see a magic trick?"

Hisoka bent down and slipped off the man’s cloak; with a theatrical wave, the cloth was draped over the body.

“Ta-da~!”

Hisoka clapped his hands once and pulled the cloak away; the body was gone, not even a speck of blood staining the carpet. With a satisfied smile, he threw the man’s last worldly possession into the air, the fabric turning into confetti as it came down.

“Ah, much better.”


	9. Understanding

 “You **what?!** ”

It was rare that I heard Wing raise his voice, let alone use such a sharp tone.

At the least I didn’t expect it as he glared down at me. Zushi didn’t seem much better off, but instead of looking incredulously angry, his mouth gaped open slightly and his hands trembled.

“So what? You already knew I was planning to fight Hisoka at some point.” I said with an uneasy shrug.

Wing made an impatient huff. “You just learned the basics of nen and you go and challenge him of all people? Are you insane?”

“You said yourself I was making a lot of progress.”

“God, I bet you forgot about Onna-bugeisha.” Wing had started pacing where he stood.

I opened my mouth to retort but realized I was momentarily trying to remember the name, if that was even a name.

“Hold on…”

“She’s your next match. You fight the day after tomorrow!” Wing stopped his pacing and took off his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. “How could you be so careless?”

I was starting to feel pretty stupid at this point. “So what? I can handle it. And the matches are still a week apart, I’ll have plenty of time-”

“Time? You could spend years studying boxing and nen and you’d still never get to Hisoka’s level of skill if you don't take this seriously!”

Zushi looked back and forth between us and I felt even more guilty. He was still a kid and I knew how uncomfortable it could feel for two adults you felt loyalty to to argue right in front of you. Even so, I couldn’t let the matter drop; what little pride I had was stinging.

“I already scheduled it.” I said firmly. “This is my business; I made it here by myself, with my own skill.”

“No, ‘you got this far’ because I taught you nen. You got this far because Zushi helped you train. You got this far because you **weren’t** originally strong enough, and you still aren’t, not for him.” Wing spoke calmly now. “You’re delusional if you think you stand a chance.”

I set my mouth into a thin line as I stared at the ground; even so, I could feel Wing’s eyes boring into me and his own aura was spiked from the visible frustration. 

“If that’s what you think then fine. The match is set and I can’t back out of it now.”

I ignored Zushi's attempt to make me stay as I left the house, speed walking back to Heaven’s Arena and trying to hold in my tears.

_“If that’s what he thinks fine. Everything is just fine. I’ll show him.”_

 

 

 

 

**Third Person POV:**

“Master Wing,” Zushi looked up at his teacher searchingly. “I...I know you’re have a good point, but did you have to be so harsh?”

“Mindy isn’t taking this seriously enough.” Wing sat down on the couch and clasped his hands together, looking down with a frustrated scowl. “She needs to focus and stop acting like this is some game.”

“But she’s not. I thought so at first, but it’s not true.” Zushi said. "Didn't you think so when you decided to help her?"

“I don’t know what’s worse.” Wing sighed. “Teaching those two boys or this one woman.”

“It’s not like Gon and Killua used nen for anything shifty though; and Mindy doesn’t even like fighting.”

Wing sat in silence for some time; Zushi decided it was best to begin his training and to not disturb him. He knew when his teacher was in deep thought there wasn’t much anyone could do to get him out of it. At the moment he had quite a few things on his mind.

It was already risky enough training someone who wasn’t a Hunter; Netero wasn’t exactly pleased when he found out what Wing was doing, but he understood the circumstances; besides, it all sounded pretty interesting. Still, nen wasn’t something that could be taught to just anyone and while Wing didn’t doubt Mindy’s motives, he still doubted her sense.

“ _She’s going to get herself killed if she’s not more careful.”_

Wing opened his eyes; Zushi sensed his aggravated aura recede and turned to face him, not yet speaking up.

“I’m going out for a bit Zushi. Please maintain your focus until I return.”

Wing stood only twenty minutes later in front of Mindy’s room; he sighed and knocked lightly, still not exactly sure how to handle this situation. A teacher he was, but his relationship with Mindy was blurring the lines between that and something closer.

“Hello?” Mindy called through the other side; her voice sounded thick. Wing frowned to himself and almost pressed his ear into the door to hear better.

“It’s me. May I come in?”

“....ok.”

Mindy opened her door slowly; she wore an apron which she was wiping her hands on hurriedly as tears streamed down her face. Wing’s vision zoomed in on her splotchy cheeks and red rimmed eyes as he felt a pit drop in his gut.

“Mindy?” Wing was at a loss for words; he hadn’t really encountered many crying women in his life. 

“Oh, sorry.” Mindy took a corner of the apron and began wiping her face. “Um, I-”

She was interrupted as Wing pulled her toward him, one hand resting lightly on top of her head, her body halfway out the door. The position was somewhat awkward; it was an odd sort of half hug, but they stayed like that for a minute regardless.

**First Person POV:**

“I apologize.” Wing let me go. “I never thought you were weak. I just don’t think it’s wise to bite off more than you can chew; Hisoka is dangerous. The outcome of your match with him may very well result in your death. That’s not something I want, but it was never my intention to upset you.”

“I was cutting onions...”

Wing’s arms dropped to his sides limply. “Excuse me?”

“I was just making dinner; I felt like eating in tonight so…” I smiled apologetically. “Onions make my eyes sting like a bitch...Wing?”

At first I thought Wing was coughing, but the noise got a bit louder and sounded soft at first, slowly getting louder as he doubled over slightly.

“Hey, what’s so fuckin’ funny?” I grumbled dryly “A lot of people cry when they-”

“I was worried!” Wing’s laughter turned to chuckles as he gathered himself. “Here I was thinking what a jerk I was for making you cry and you’re just cutting onions!”

“That sentence alone sounded so weird…” The side of my mouth turned up in a half smile as I shut the door. “I guess since you’re here I’ll feed you. You get dinner yet?”

“No, thank you. What is that?” Wing sniffed the air. “Fish?”

“Salmon patties and rice. I make ‘em okay.” I started mixing the chopped onions into the other ingredients until the fish, eggs, and breadcrumbs had all mixed together. Nothing that fancy, but good enough; I was used to making my own meals.

“Can I help with anything?”

“Nah, I just got to grill these. You can serve the rice if you want and get the wine from the fridge if you’re thirsty.”

“Is that all you have to drink?”

“No.” I gave him a look. “I just think white wine compliments the fish good.”

“Sophisticated.” Wing quipped as he carefully set out the rice portions.

“Yeah, yeah. There’s the corkscrew.”

Wing opened the wine and poured himself a glass, watching as I flipped over the patties. “You don’t seem like the kind of person who can cook.”

“Gee thanks.” I told him as I placed the patties on another plate; after placing it on the table, we both sat down. “Hand me that.” I immediately grabbed the bottle of wine from his hand as he reached over the table’s surface and was already digging into my food; after a few minutes, I looked up curiously and saw Wing wasn’t eating, just holding the fork in his hand loosely.

“Is it okay?” I was feeling a bit self conscious; maybe he was still irritated about earlier.

“No, it looks great.” Wing gave me a polite smile. “Mindy...why did you schedule the fight so soon?”

I set down my fork and picked up my glass. “Hisoka asked me to.”

“What?”

“Hisoka asked me to fight him in a couple of weeks; I could’ve said no. You’re right Wing.” I looked down in shame; out loud it sounded like such a poor excuse. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t even thinking really. I thought I was getting stronger, but I’m-”

Wing’s eyes widened slightly; I was crying for real this time.

“I just hate this. I hate feeling weak. I figured if Hisoka asked me to fight, he must think I’m worth fighting, right? I need to do this. I need to prove to myself I can, ‘cause if I do that maybe I-” I put down my glass and rubbed my tears away. “Shit, I’m sorry. I’m a bit drunk right now.”

“You drank before?”

“Yeah, the rest of half a wine bottle. I actually just finished it a bit before you got here.” I laughed weakly.

Wing just sat there looking at me with an unreadable expression; I wished I could be as calm as him. It was just all getting too much.

“Wing, if I was stronger, I could have protected myself.” I said softly. “I-I was gonna get jumped and Hisoka happened to be around and killed the guy. I knocked out the other. God, if I was just a bit faster, if I could sense him…” I put my head in my hands. “Someone died ‘cause of me. Hisoka’s fucking crazy, but I should’ve been able to handle it. It’s been months since I’ve slept for longer than a few hours; he was just a goddamn guy who messed up, he didn’t deserve that.”

“You’re too kind. It makes me feel sorry for you to be honest.” Wing remarked softly. “It’s not your fault.”

“Doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“Then what will?”

I paused. “I don’t know. I just want to stop feeling this way. I just want to be able to feel okay for once and your training has been helping. Being here is helping. I want to try to fight him; I know I probably can’t win, but I can give him a run for his money at the very least.”

“Mindy, you should get some sleep.” Wing stood up and collected the dishes. “Thank you for the food. You look exhausted.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to unload all that on you.” I mumbled; my head was feeling heavy and my eyes were rubbed raw. I rose up to help him rinse the dishes, but Wing made me sit back down.

“You might drop one in your state.” Wing smiled a bit as he returned to the sink to douse the plates with warm water. Once he was done he began looking for a towel to dry off his hands; instead he was met with the sight of me nearly falling out of my chair.

**Third Person POV:**

“Hey!” Wing rushed over and propped his student back up. _“Is this from lack of sleep or drinking?”_

Before looking for a bedroom, Wing set Mindy down on the couch; he felt a bit off as he half carried, half dragged her to the bed, taking off her glasses before covering her with a blanket.

_“Damn. I wish we could postpone the match, but it’s too late. Well, she’s getting some rest now I suppose….”_

Wing shut off the lamp; he sighed and tucked the blanket in. He smiled remembering the few times Zushi had been exhausted from training and he had to manually lift him and take him to his room. Sometimes he forgot how many of his students were still children regardless of their powers. Gon’s simple wish to meet his father, Killua’s unwavering loyalty to his best friend, Zushi’s determination to do better and excel; in some ways, Mindy’s motives were just as childish and straightforward.

 _“To want to not feel helpless. To know your worth. It's not impossible at least.”_ Wing looked down at her face; her breathing was getting more even and her body seemed to sink into the mattress to the point he doubted she would wake up if he made any noise. _“Try to get some sleep huh?”_

Wing blinked and felt everything come back into focus. He looked down to see his hand was outstretched slightly; he drew it back at once and smiled self deprecatingly as he let himself out.


	10. Christmas Omake

**Author's Note: This is mostly for venting my Christmas feels; have a good holiday everyone and I hope you're enjoying the story so far!**

“What are you doing?”

I looked up from my yarn. “Crochet?”

“No, I mean what are you doing knitting when you’re supposed to be working?” Mr. Weiman asked slowly as he crossed his arms. “This is the busiest time of year for shoppers and you’re doing arts and crafts?”

“Come on, there ain’t anyone here.” I sighed and looked back at my work. “It’s Christmas Eve; everyone’s at home right now cooking and shit.”

“Oh yeah? What about last minute shoppers? Did you think of that?”

“Who’s the dumbass who would buy a last minute Christmas gift from a convenience store?”

Mr. Weiman drew himself up. “I should fire you, talking back to me like that.”

“What?” I looked at him in disbelief. “Before you hired me no one else worked here for years. They’re all too scared! Besides, I finished all the cleaning and stocking.”

“Just put that away if a customer comes in. We don’t want to look unprofessional.” Mr. Weiman mumbled as he went back to his office.

At least I had enough respect to roll my eyes after he was gone; I was nearly done and what else was I supposed to do with no customers in sight for another empty hour?

“I fuckin’ swear, he think’s we’re running some fancy market.” I muttered as I finished my stitching.

Even if there were last minute shoppers, I doubt they would venture outside now; the snow was falling steadily and I myself was dreading the walk home. My boots had tears from years of use and I still had to carry my backpack; if I had the foresight, I would’ve packed an extra pair of dry socks or left some of my belongings at home.

" _Well, at least this is nearly done."_ I smiled proudly at my masterpiece; it trailed from the bottom of my bag as I pulled foot after foot of soft, cranberry red yarn, slowly but surely piecing together a perfectly long scarf. My previous tries were a bit crooked and the stitches were too tight for such thick yarn, making the whole thing stiff and hard to wrap around someone’s neck. Now it was pliable and perfect for the winter.

After I cut off the leftover string, I paused to look outside. Most of the buildings were only lit up by their usual neon signs, but I had gone out and bought lights for our store. It was a nice contrast and Mr. Weiman had thought it would bring in more people.

 _“Besides, it is Christmas. We should do a little something.”_ I thought, smiling happily at the multi colored lights that made the nearby snow glow the same shades of red, blue, yellow, green, etc. It looked so cheerful.

As the fat flakes continued to fall, I felt a warmness bloom in my chest along with a sharp pang of faint sorrow; I couldn't remember the last time...well, I suppose I never really had a 'good' Christmas per say. But that didn't mean I didn't still enjoy the holiday.

_“I wish I had more time…”_

The best part of Christmas was always the preparation; making gifts, shopping, baking, decorating, watching the specials, singing the carols, playing in the snow. As far as I was considered, Christmas started on the first of December and ended at the end of January; at least I wished it did. Now it was Christmas Eve and tomorrow Christmas would come and go and it would feel over far, far too soon for me.

I leaned on the counter and just stared outside, taking in every snow flake and smelling the left over cookies I had baked for work not too far from my left. I wanted to enjoy it for just a little bit longer.

“Hold on….you’re kidding me…”

I narrowed my eyes to look outside better and wiped off my glasses to see if they were just too smudged for me to see correctly. There couldn’t possibly be someone coming to this crappy store in the middle of a borderline snow storm.

“Hisoka?”

Well, he was crazy enough.

“Good evening my dear~chilly out isn’t it?”

“The fuck did you come from?” I stared as he shook snow from the wet hair falling in his face. “There’s supposed to be a storm tonight.”

“Well, you seemed to enjoy looking at the snow.”

I looked at him quizzically.

“I saw you from outside, watching the snow fall. You were completely spaced out.”

“Well, it looks nice, you know, the lights and all that.” I shrugged. “It’s Christmas snow.”

“How cute.”

“I know right? Hung those lights up myself.” I grinned and made my way over to the holly wreath nailed to the door. “Check this out, a church down the street grows these for charity; shit, they even made the ribbon-”

“That’s not what I meant.” Hisoka interrupted lightly, tapping a finger to my forehead.  
  
"I-"

“Hey-oh hello.” Mr. Weiman was halfway out of his office door looking like a deer in headlights. “I see you’re busy...I’ll just leave you to lock up.”

The last thing we heard was a car screeching out of the parking lot.

“That car starts up quite fast.”

“Christ.” I put a hand to my head. “Well, I gotta start closing, so-”

Hisoka nodded and walked away. “I just came to buy some cookies.”

I started packing away my things as he found the right aisle.

 _“Boy he could’ve picked a better time; shoot, who shops for cookies so late anyhow?”_ Once he came back, I took the package Hisoka handed me and gave him his change; I felt the hairs on my arm stand up as he gave me a sly smile. In fact, he hadn’t stopped smiling at me since he got into the store.

“Uh, so what have you been up to?”

“Nothing much.” Hisoka replied. “Just enjoying the weather.”

“Really? I mean, it’s pretty sure, but aren’t you cold?”

“Barely. Are you worried? I assure you there’s no need to.”

“Alright.” I shrugged and went behind the counter. “Come on, time to close up.”

Hisoka followed me outside dutifully; I frowned noticing how much taller he was. It seemedas though I barely grew since high school; maybe I was just done with it by then but I didn't like the idea of him thinking of me as a child. He could be patronizing enough as it was.

My fingers fumbled against the lock. “God, it’s gonna be a hell of a Christmas Eve. Can you imagine not having anywhere to go in this weather?”

“Would you take someone in if you saw they had nowhere else to go?”

I thought for a moment. “I’d be apprehensive...but I couldn’t just leave them out here. Besides, I can fight if they try anything funny.”

The snow was coming down faster as I began walking to my apartment; a few minutes later, I stopped. There were footsteps behind me.

“Hisoka?” I turned around; he was in fact standing a few paces back, his form illuminated under the dim streetlight. He pushed back his damp hair with a smile.

“If you really meant what you said, I’m sure you’d be generous enough to offer me a warm place to sleep for the night?”

 

 

 

 

  
  
  
  
"Shake your boots off.” I said glumly. “I’ll make some tea.”

“Much obliged~”

There weren’t any hotels in the vicinity; motels were filled up by residents who could only afford paying by the week or month. On top of that, Hisoka simply didn’t know of anywhere else he could spend the night.

“You know, if you needed a place to stay, couldn’t you at least have told me earlier?”

“How? I just got to the city and I don’t even have your phone number.

I sighed. “You have to sleep on the pull out couch; the bathroom is down this hall. There’s towels on the shelf you can use it to dry off.”

Hisoka watched as I began setting blankets on the couch and went to the kitchen.

“You’re not the most gracious host.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m feeding you ain’t I? You can watch the TV in the living room while I’m busy.” I opened the fridge and began taking out food. “Does pasta sound good? All I got is stuff for sauce and noodles.”

“Sounds great. I’ll just go take a shower!” Hisoka gave a little wave and paid no mind to my baffled sputtering.

“That-oh, whatever.” I shook my head and began boiling water. “Honestly, he comes up in here like he pays rent…”

This wasn’t the weirdest situation, but it was still odd. A man I had only known for less than a year was taking refuge in my apartment, using my shower, and was even going to spend the night. At least if he wasn’t a psychopath it wouldn’t be too weird. 

I froze as I was midway through chopping peppers and garlic. _“Shit, would he kill me? No, wait, he only wants to fight and kill strong people...besides, it’s not like he’ll just murder anyone, right? Oh goddammit, why did I agree to this shit?”_

Christmas Eve definitely wasn’t going according to plan; by the time the noodles were soft and limp, Hisoka was done and out of the shower.

“Hisoka?”

“Yes Mindy?” He was toweling off his hair as he took a seat on the makeshift bed.

“Do you think you could put some clothes on?”

“They’re soaked from the snow, my coat included.” Hisoka explained. “You wouldn’t want me to catch a cold would you? I decided to just put them in your dryer.

“Oh my...okay, hold on.” I ran over to my room; I returned with a clean shirt and sweatpants. “Put these on; they should fit you.”

I turned around as he got dressed. “Jesus, could you have at least kept your underwear on?”

“I had a towel.” Hisoka reminded me as he pulled over the shirt. “Where did you get these from?”

“The thrift store. Why?”

“They’re men’s clothes.”

“Come on, everyone wears t-shirts and sweats; besides, men’s clothes are usually cheaper.” I set out his plate on the counter. “Food's done. You want wine?”

“You drink?” Hisoka took his glass. “And here I thought you were underage.”

“To be fair, I’ve been drinking before that.” I admitted as I attempted to twirl noodles onto my fork; the meal went on in mostly silence. It was surprising for two reasons:

One, Hisoka always seemed to have something to say. Silence from him was something to be wary of, at least usually.

Two, it wasn’t weird.

“ _It almost feels like I’m just having dinner with a friend...are we friends?”_ I wondered as I sipped my drink, savoring the flavor. “ _I mean, we’re not enemies, so I guess? Either way, I don’t feel uncomfortable."_

It was a lonesome feeling to spend a holiday by yourself; maybe deep down I was sort of glad to have someone over, even if it was this strange guy.

 _“He looks different like this too.”_ I watched as Hisoka ate; his movements were refined. I imagined what he would look like in more proper clothes; he could probably pass for a model. _“Hell, he looks hot even in the clown get up; I guess some people can just look good in anything. Oh well.”_

“Something on your mind?”

I started; I had no idea I was staring. “Oh sorry. I guess it’s a bit strange seeing you without your makeup and stuff.”

Hisoka actually laughed. “You should really think more before you speak; anyone else might’ve taken that the wrong way.”

“Well, if you took offense you don’t gotta stay.” I finished my drink and poured another generous portion.

“Don’t you think you should be more careful?”

“It takes at least two bottles of wine to get me drunk. Besides, it’s Christmas Eve.” I raised my glass cheerfully. “Might as well have some fun, right?”

Hisoka looked bemused before filling his own glass back up and raising it to toast. “I agree. Let’s have some fun.”

His smile threw me off; I clinked glasses with him carelessly.

“Mindy, do you live alone?”

“Wow, you couldn’t have asked a creepier question. But yeah, I do.”

“Why?”

“I can afford rent on my own.”

Hisoka let the wine swirl in his glass. “No family?”

“Oh sure. But we kinda grew apart.” I knew it was a vague answer, but I meant it to be. There was no point in talking about it and I didn’t want to now when we were supposed to be having fun. Hisoka must’ve taken the hint, changing the subject quite randomly. Then again, he could be very unpredictable.

“Let’s watch something.”

Two hours later we were halfway through another holiday special.

“Why does his nose glow?”

“Eh.” I shrugged. “Magic?”

“This is silly.” Hisoka seemed pleased nonetheless. “I don’t believe I’ve seen this before...but aren’t these meant for children? I’m surprised you find them entertaining.”

“It’s more for nostalgia than anything else. Plus it’s fun to watch. I didn’t realize how much of a dick Santa was until seeing this later.”

Hisoka refilled my wine glass. “This really isn’t affecting you at all is it? I'm a bit disappointed.”

“....are you trying to get me drunk?”

“Yes. I always wondered; I thought you would be a silly drunk, but I get the feeling you’re the sad kind.”

“The sad-when do you even find the time to think of this stuff?” I asked dully as I relaxed into the couch; we were sitting side by side, leaning against pillows.

“Oh, now and then I can’t help thinking of you, even when I’m working. When I kill somebody, it somehow heightens the experience in particular.”

I didn’t know what to say to that; Hisoka chuckled lowly and turned off the TV.

“Mindy, do you know what I like about you?”

“...what?”

“You treat others quite decently.”

“Most people do that.”

“No. Despite your simple mindedness, you manage to empathize with people, even accept them, not to mention the people so radically different from yourself.” Hisoka’s smile was downright devious despite his compliments. “You're very quaint. And you’re too kind; how many people would open their doors to someone they barely know, let alone to me?”

“I’d feel bad leaving you to freeze. It’s really not that big of a deal.” I told him, slurring a bit at the end of my sentences; I had to say, half of the things he said were pretty condescending, but I think he really was trying to pay me a compliment. “There’s plenty of decent people. I’m just trying to be the way I think is right.”

“Perhaps. But don’t you feel worried?”

I put down my glass. “Whatcha mean?”

“You’re excessively open on some levels. It wouldn’t be too hard for me to take advantage of your kindness.”

“Well, that’d be a real asshole thing to do.” I yawned; my eyelids kept wanting to close. “Still, that’s not my problem. I’m doing exactly what I want to do. I let you stay ‘cause I wanted to.”

“What if I hurt you?”

“What, you’re gonna kill me?” I pried my eyes open slightly, vision a bit blurred around the edges; it almost made Hisoka look like he was in a fog.

“There’s other things I could do. What if I decided to act like your friend then I treated you poorly? Wouldn’t you feel bad?” Hisoka’s voice was teasing.

“Well, you just told me, so it’s not like I’d be surprised. I wouldn’t feel bad. I made the choice to let you in; I won’t regret being nice.” I said softly and leaned back further into the pillows; my cheeks were pink from the wine and my body felt warm despite the heater being broken. “Isn’t that what you do?”

“Be...nice?”

“Psh, no. I mean in the end, you’re living your life the way you want to and you don’t have any regrets as far as I can see. That’s kinda cool….for a clown.” I snorted. “Oh, by the way, here.”

Hisoka took the scarf I tossed in his hands with a curious look. “For me?”

“Yeah, it’s a Christmas present. Your coat doesn’t look all that warm.” I smiled goofily. “Hope this helps, heh.”

Hisoka raised an eyebrow. “Are you actually drunk?”

“Nah. I’m just tipsy.” I giggled and laid back on the pillows with a thump. “It’s better than being dead drunk that’s for sure. I feel warm and tired, but at least I won’t be hungover; it’s just enough to feel cozy and shit, ya know?”

“Your breath stinks of red wine.”

The smile dropped from my face; I hadn’t realized how he was practically laying next to me at this point. My mind was fuzzy and I couldn’t make my vocal cords work; all I did was gaze up blankly as Hisoka smirked and leaned down; my eyes followed his tongue as it dampened his lips.

“I bet your mouth tastes like it…”

“...Well, you should know already. You drank it too.”

And the spell was broken.

“I suppose you’re right.” Hisoka pulled away suddenly with a smile. “Merry Christmas by the way.”

“Huh?” I sat up and looked at the clock. “Fuck, it’s that late?”

“Time flies.” Hisoka shrugged; I felt a hand on my head. “Want to sleep here? You told me you used to like sleeping out where the tree was on Christmas.”

“I did?” I asked and massaged my forehead. “I don’t remember...eh, it’s been a long night; well, this has been nice.”

Hisoka didn’t say anything; his smile had faded slightly and he retracted his hand.

“You know Hisoka, the way people act around Christmas is how they should be all the time.” I smacked my lips and tried to loosen up my dry tongue; the wine I had must’ve had more alcohol content than I thought, because I was already getting cotton mouth.

“Oh?”

“Mhm. But what do I know? Still, I hope I do the same. Hope I’m not too much of a bitch.” My mouth stretched open in a long yawn and I looked at the decorated tree from where I was laying.

“Damn, it’s pretty…..just looking at it makes you feel all fuzzy inside, don’t it?”

I smiled and closed my eyes reluctantly, not caring that Hisoka was still staring wordlessly; I didn’t want this to be over, even if though he must think I was talking nonsense at this point. Maybe it was the wine, but part of me didn’t care. I was just being honest; no matter how old I got there was just something magical in it’s own way about Christmas and I loved it.

For a little bit, people were more decent, more joyful, and everything was decked out like something from a wonderland. I could sort of see the bright lights of the tree from under my eyelids. For a little bit, I could just forget about everything else, even the fact that the man pushing back my bangs was a nut job who killed for fun and would probably think nothing of doing the same to me should I get in his way.

“But it’s Christmas….let’s just be friends for a little bit…”

For a second my eyelids fluttered open and closed, but they were too heavy to keep open and the couch was comfier than I had thought.

I fell asleep seeing sharp eyes burning as brightly as those strings of lights.

 

**Third Person POV:**

Hisoka just stared for some time.

_“This is...odd.”_

He scratched his head; this really wasn’t how he was expecting things to go. With a sigh he stood up and went to get his clothes, figuring they’d be dry by now. The sun would rise soon and he needed to be on his way now that the snow had stopped; he could already hear trucks plowing the snow off the street and sidewalks outside the apartments.

 _“I wonder if she likes to play in the snow? She seems so childish when it comes to those sorts of things.”_ Hisoka wondered; he bent over to pick up the scarf still lying by Mindy’s side. He studied the pattern; it was basic, but the work was sufficiently neat. To test it out, Hisoka wrapped it around his neck; in the somewhat chilly apartment, it was warming him up already.

 _“Not bad at all.”_ Hisoka took one end with a satisfied smile. _“Hm, but I never got to give her the cookies. Oh well, next time perhaps.”_

Mindy had snored loudly in her sleep and Hisoka froze, sure she would wake up; he stood there for a minute and just looked at the scene. She was lying with twisted sheets around her legs, the snow piled up on the windowsill, and frost on the glass. The modest tree was set up with baubles and illuminated the room. Her face was still turned to it and the colors played on her skin, making her cheeks look alternately red and green and blue among all the other colors. It made him want to laugh, but he decided it’d be best if he didn’t chance waking her up.

 _“Being nice all year? It’s not easy for most people and I’m sure you lose your patience my dear.”_ Hisoka placed the cookies on the pillow next to Mindy’s head. _“Still, it is a special day, isn’t it? Perhaps this once.”_

That smile turned to a mouth stretched out from screams that made her throat raw and eyes shining with tears instead of excitement; that stubborn will and ideals reduced to nothing but faint memories as she gave in, cheeks and neck flushed, not from intoxication, but in shame. The thought made him want to burst on the inside more than any pretty snowfall or bright lights. But, yes, he would be nice just this once.

Hisoka made sure to lock the door from the inside before letting himself out.

 _“There’s still plenty of time until then and when the time does come,”_ Hisoka smiled slowly as he pressed the scarf closer to his neck. _“It will be that much more fun….I can savor tearing the paper off my present…”_


	11. Warrior

I couldn’t take my eyes off of Wing. It was just too tempting; how much longer would I have to wait until our relationship was comfortable enough to do this?

Sure, he was my mentor, but did it really matter in the end? Why hold back?

“Mindy?” he finally noticed my staring. 

“Let me try them.”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Really? Don’t you think there’s more important things to do at the moment?”

“Come on, you can try mine!” I clasped my hands together and gave him my sweetest smile. “Just for a sec?”

Zushi fidgeted with his thumbs. “Um...Master Wing? I was wondering...”

“...you too?”

Zushi nodded sheepishly. “Mindy, can I try yours afterward?”

“Sure! But be careful, I gotta see with these.” I held out my glasses to exchange for Wing’s and looked at him expectantly.

“...”

“....”

“Ok.” Wing handed them over and took mine, placing them on hesitantly. “I can’t see a thing.”

“I know huh?” I grinned and turned to Zushi. “What do ya think? I always wanted to try half frames.”

“I don’t know...I think the other ones look better?” Zushi scratched his head. “Maybe it’s just because I’m not used to seeing you with those kind.”

“You shouldn’t.” Wing said dryly. “They are my glasses after all.”

“Aw come on, you look pretty trendy in thicker frames.” I offered as I handed back his lens. “Okay Zushi, your turn-oh my god, you look adorable!” I gushed as Zushi nervously adjusted the over sized pair of specs with a blush.

"I've never needed glasses."

"They look cute though." I pinched his cheeks carefully; Zushi tried to pry my hands away, but we could see him trying to hold back a pleased grin. “God, it’s moments like this that almost make me want kids.”

“You?”

“What, is it that surprising?” I countered and gave Wing a miffed look. “I think I’d be a pretty decent mom.”

“In that case,” Wing cleaned off his glasses. “Why don’t you quit this tournament, settle down, and start a family? Hisoka may kill you before you get the chance. Pity you didn’t consult me first before making such a rash decision.” he added with a meaningful look. 

I shrugged. “Well, I can’t have kids anyway. I guess I could foster some though...there’s plenty of kids out there who need someplace to stay, at least until they’re adults, you know?”

Zushi’s enlarged eyes stared at me through the lens. “Why?”

“Well, some kids don’t have a place to-”

“I mean why can’t you have kids?”

“Zushi.” Wing said. "I don't think-"

"No, it’s fine, it’s really not that big a deal.” I told them quickly. “I, ah went to, ya know....a clinic a while ago to make money by selling my...eggs…”

Zushi seemed a bit confused as I continued to stammer; it was harder to say than I thought it would be and I felt my nerves getting to me. I didn’t want to get to into this; how did we even get to this conversation? Why couldn't Wing stop trying to make excuses for why I shouldn't fight? And why didn't I just keep my big mouth shut?

“Eggs?” Zushi scooted over on the couch. "How-?"

“Zushi.”

I rubbed my temples. “Look, long story short, they say I’m infertile. I mean, I might be able to have kids. It’d just be really hard.”

"Oh...I'm sorry.”

I couldn’t help laugh a bit at his expression; he really was a sweet kid. “It’s fine Zushi. I’m not planning on kids, so it’s not really a loss for me. I like how things are now. I’m enjoying myself.” I made a face. “Well, you know, aside from the possible death match….I could probably skip that, but, what can you do?”

“You could forfeit.” Wing’s strict voice cut through the atmosphere. “Mindy, you’ve already got today’s match to meet your quota.”

“No way.” I said firmly. “There’s no way I’m losing; at least not like that. I’d rather lose by getting knocked out than a forfeit.”

“Do you think he’s your friend?”

I narrowed my eyes. “The hell does that mean?”

“What I mean is that Hisoka doesn’t hold back unless he wants to wait to beat you. If he thinks you’re strong enough to fight him now, then he won’t mind killing you this time around.” Wing shook his head. “I can't help wonder if you think he'll go easy on you. Do you trust him?" 

“Not really. I mean, Jesus, just look at the guy. Would you trust him? Look, I know you think I’m crazy. I think I’m crazy. But I have to do this.” I coughed and began picking up the empty plates from our meal. “Also, the lady at the front counter acts like a bitch if you reschedule last minute. I’d like to avoid that on top of everything else.”

“I don’t know whether to laugh or hit you.”

“Master Wing...let’s just cheer her on for now.” Zushi spoke up respectfully. “Mindy won’t change her mind.”

“Fine. Anyway, we’ve delayed this long enough.” Wing took the glass of water and set it on the table. “Mindy, just focus on ren and we’ll see what happens.”

“Alright…” I was actually feeling a bit nervous; I took a deep breath and held my hands just outside the glass. I closed my eyes and focused, just trying to clear my mind of all-

“MINDY, THE WATER!”

“Fuck!” Water was spilling all over my shoes and pants, like a broken water fountain splashing against me. “Goddammit, what the fuck?”

“You’re an enhancer.”

“Great, could you get me a towel?”

Later on Zushi helped me clean the dishes once we had gotten through mopping up the miniature swamp in the living room; he wasn't that much of a talker compared to me, but I couldn't help notice he was being oddly quiet as he carefully dried each dish and put them away. 

"So, I'm an enhancer. Does that mean I could enhance my speed to make this go faster?" I tried to joke; Zushi kept his eyes glued to the cup he was wiping. "Zushi? You okay sweetie?"

"Oh, yeah!" Zushi smiled bashfully as he almost lost his grip on the cup. 

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"Mindy, aren't you scared?"

I bit my lip as I scrubbed a particularly stubborn grease stain from the skillet. "Maybe a teeny bit, but not enough to get me to back down."

"Maybe you should...I've seen Hisoka fight before." Zushi frowned. "You're strong, definitely stronger than me, maybe even more than Master with your power level. But Hisoka's even stronger and he's had years of experience. And he's not like you."

"Well I coulda told you that."

"He won't hesitate to kill you if he really wants to." Zushi said softly; I looked down at him feeling guilty once again. The last thing I wanted was to make him worried.

"I know. Zushi, don't worry. I promise, I won't take this lightly."

"Just be careful." 

"Okay mom." I laughed and handed him the heavy iron pan, but he took it with ease; I wondered if it was normal for such a young kid to be that strong, but then again, he wasn't like most kids. 

"Mindy, what do your parents think about this?"

"Wow, you really do sound like a mom now..."

"I'm serious." Zushi insisted. "Aren't they worried?"

"Nah." I handed him another cup. 

"Mindy, why..." Zushi paused awkwardly; he opened his mouth to say more, but whatever he planned on saying never left his mind. 

"Zushi, it's okay. I'm just going to focus on the match; if I do that, I'm sure I'll be fine."

"Mindy, why don't you stay here after you're done?"

I stopped and looked down at him in bewilderment. "You want me to stay here?"

"Yeah!" Zushi nodded enthusiastically. "Why not? You can live off your winnings for a while, and there's so much around here you haven't seen. We can keep up with our training together, and-"

"Whoa, slow down!" I giggled and put my hand on his head briefly. "It's not that I don't like the idea...but I really don't know what i want to do after this. I might stay or I might go off and explore. I have the money....I've always wanted to make a real home for myself. But first I want to see more of what the world has to offer."

"And if Hisoka kills you?"

"Spread my ashes in a field or something; or throw them in his eyes, whatever floats your boat." I chuckled wryly. "Don't worry; whatever happens, you guys can't get rid of me that easily."

"We don't want to."

"Oh." I averted my eyes and ducked my head. "Um, that's good."

"You could stay if you did want to." Zushi sounded like he was trying to be more casual for my sake. "If you ask me, home is wherever you want to be."

"Smart ass." I mumbled as I tried to will away my red cheeks; not that he wasn't right. And I truly was touched; in all honesty, I wasn't as, well, honest, as I could have been earlier. In the more distant future, I could see having a kid or two, though the father was more of a foggy figure in the background. 

The thing was, I couldn't help fantasizing about what could be; a nice little house or a spacious apartment in a nice area; holidays spent passing down traditions, making school lunches and attending counselor meetings, helping with first crushes and comforting when things got too tough to handle. It would be scary, overwhelming, and I wasn't sure if I could do it, but the idea of being a mom was both strange and wonderful to me.

The idea of having my own family, was strange and wonderful; but Zushi didn't need to know all of that. No one did.

"Mindy, you know, there's another way you could make this go faster..." Zushi said with a little grin. "You know how you made the water rush out of the cup?"

"Oooh, I gotcha!" I smiled broadly, eyeing the running water splashing over the dishes. "Well, let me take a crack at it so we can get dessert!"

No more than five minutes later we were mopping up another small lake and Wing was standing on the threshold of the kitchen wonder where he had went wrong as me and Zushi took turns splashing each other with the dirty dish water.

 

 

 

 

 

  
  
  
  
"Everybody, put your hands together for Onna-bugeisha! She’s a first time competitor whose only lost one match since her reign of terror and it's still going strong!” The commentator squealed in excitement. “Her blade has already cut through the bodies of over 200 victims, each one horribly mangled and scarred!”

“Okay, we get it, fuck.” I tried to concentrate as Wing tried to continue his pep talk/lecture.

“Mindy, remember what we spoke of.” Wing put his hands on my shoulders and gave me a little shove. “Please, be careful?”

“I will, I will. Geez, like I wouldn't?” I put on my head gear and walked up to the stage.

“Now we have Mindy, making her way to the top, just as she’s been doing for the short time she’s been here!” The commentator cheered enthusiastically to get the crowd pumped. “She’s a hard knuckled gut buster, not bad for an amateur who’s just barely clawed her way here!”

“Okay, they get it!” I grouched and faced Onna-bugeisha; her eyes were as sharp as her sword-

”Hey wait a minute.” I adjusted my glasses. “Where’s your sword?”

She smiled and held out a shinai; there was no blade in sight, just a blunt, long, stick.

“You haven’t seen any of my matches have you? Did you think you were too skilled to have to review my techniques? Not that a novice  like you would be able to accurately.”

“No...I was just busy training…..and eating. And sleeping. And drinking. And walking around…” I averted my eyes and bit my tongue; I could practically hear Wing smack his head in frustration from where I stood in the middle of the roaring stadium; Onna-bugeisha must’ve been really popular.

“I truly am fighting a novice.” Onna said quietly. “No matter. Don’t think just because you’re at a disadvantage I’ll go easy on you. I have my own business to attend to.”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s get on with it.” I grumbled. _"What do I have to do to get a little respect around here, kill a dozen people?"_

As I mulled over the injustice of it all, the crowd was yelling out almost indecipherable jeers.

“Kick her ass!”

“Come on, don’t just stand there, fight her Bruiser!”

“Knock her out!”

 _“Wait...knock me out?”_ I frowned in confusion while Onna fixed her stance. _“Do they mean me? Holy shit…”_

“Prepare yourself.”

I snapped out of it and smiled at Onna. “Thanks for the warning.”

“Make no mistake. I’m not like you.”

I glared halfheartedly. “Could you be any more full of it?”

I felt something stinging the second I dodged; at least I thought I had dodged her, but the blood dribbling down from my arm said otherwise. Even with me using ten, she had managed to cut through the invisible shield; for the first time i realize out out of my element I was.

“ _How did she cut me?! She's just using a stick!”_

But Onna didn't give me much time to think.

"What the-?" I looked at her in disbelief; while I was distracted, she swung the shinai at my legs and knocked me down. I gasped and rolled over, but my legs hadn’t been cut off; this time the weapon had just hit them. I steadied myself and jumped a good few feet away.

A brief smile played on Onna’s lips. “Are you planning on staying all the way over there? I thought close combat was your style?”

_“Wait, is she...no, it can't be...I’ll just have to see for myself.”_

“Hey, you asked for it.” I raised my fists.

Aura was flowing all around me, concentrating to cover my fists like gloves; I ran toward her, my hands raised to my face to protect it as I attacked.

“You’ll have to do a bit better.”

My punches had only just landed on her, but not one was right on the mark; I cried out as Onna sent me flying with another well placed swing of her shinai. This time it had just barely cut my face, yet despite the shallow scratch, there was still no visible blade. But now I had her figured out.

“So that’s how you do it. I didn’t understand at first….it shouldn’t be too hard to block or dodge a normal sword.” I breathed in and out harshly, sweat already running down the sides of my face.

Onna made a sound of approval. “I’m actually a bit impressed you got it. Even most nen users can’t sense it as well. They’re too arrogant to really consider it, but I suppose someone like you who knows her place understands you can’t be too careful.”

“Thanks…”

“Master Wing, I can see it too!” Zushi blinked to stop using gyo. “I almost couldn’t...how was she able to conceal it so well?”

“Onna-bugeisha may be new to Heaven’s Arena, but that’s not to say she isn’t experienced.” Wing said grimly. “The others were fools to underestimate her, though I can't say how she perfected her technique so well.”

 _“She used shu to extend her aura to the shinai; she must have covered up the aura's presence with zetsu so I couldn't detect it. And she was somehow able to turn it into a blade…”_ I smiled. _“I gotta say, that’s pretty cool. She’s still kinda a bitch though.”_

Onna was smiling as well. “So, you saw through my little trick? Don’t start thinking that will be enough; it takes much more than being aware of your opponents hastu to win.”

She lunged forward, this time striking many blows at once, up, down, side to side, so fast I could barely keep track and move out of the way.

“Poor girl...it’s too bad I’ve perfected this technique for years.” Onna’s smile turned feral; I kept side stepping and dodging. I was able to land a few punches, but I just couldn’t get a head shot to knock her out. She was faster than I thought, even with having to carry the shinai.

 _“She’s gotta get tired eventually...if I can just keep her moving long enough…”_ I grunted and continued to sneak in hits when I could find a rare opening. _“The amount of aura she’s using isn’t anything to sniff at either...I need to find a way to get her to pause!”_

“That’s it!” I cursed and ran at her at full speed, fist posed to strike. Onna was momentarily caught off guard, but the look of dumbfounded shock turned to a smirk.

“Too impatient.”

I grabbed the stick as the tip was lodged into my side; my shirt was already getting stained from the blood. My whole body froze.

“Nice try.” Onna twisted the shinai and pulled back slightly to jab it forward again; with one thrust, I’d be pushed out of the stage and incapacitated.

“Fuck this h-hurts…”

Onna’s eyes widened as I took a step forward.

“You bitch.”

My nen was covering my fist once more as I took the end of the shinai in a iron grip and walked forward, unfortunately making it go in deeper.

“What-!”

In less than a second I used my other hand to grab the back of her head and sent our skulls smashing into each others.

“There. Got ya.” I wheezed and yanked the shinai out with a scream; the crowd was deathly silent as Onna swayed in her spot, a trickle of blood running down her forehead.

“No!” Onna still had the energy to cry out hoarsely. ”My-my sword…”

She reached out but I had pulled it back and sent it flying to the opposite end of the arena; with a heavy groan, I punched her in the stomach and sent her over the edge. In the silence I heard her head bang against the stone ground.  
The deafening roar of the crowd wasn’t enough to keep me from falling to my knees, doubled over and holding my side as blood seeped through my fingers and shirt.

“Good job.”

I fell face down and saw black.


	12. The Truth

The first time I came to, I felt something warm pressed against my cheek; my head was still swimming and I couldn't find the energy to open my eyes. Even so, I felt so comforted.

“Ma?” I whispered automatically and leaned in; I felt cold again a second later and went back to sleep.

The second time was also just as weird, if not more so.

“Get up already.”

“Eh?” I groaned and tried to shake off the foggy feeling in my head, guessing the doctors had me on some heavy meds.

“You’ve been resting for some time and I don’t have all day to wait.”

I managed to pry one eye open against the blinding lights. “Onna?”

“I don’t remember giving you permission to address me so familiarly.”

“Like that’s even your real fuckin’ name.” I rose up slightly, dragging my body until I was half sitting up. “What the hell do you want? It’s not enough you almost kill me, you gotta-”

“If I remember correctly,” Onna cut me off. “You were the one who pulled my shinai into yourself.”

“You started it.”

“How childish.” Onna crossed her arms and leaned back into the visitor’s chair; I rubbed my eyes and took a good look around.

“Are we in the hospital?”

“That’s usually where they take half dead people.”

“Bitch.”

“Novice.”

“Bitch.”

“You just stated that.”

“Still true.”

We took a minute to really look at each other; I imagined she was surveying my state with some satisfaction. Compared to me, she looked fine, but the bandage around her head made me grin a tiny bit.

“Mindy...?”

“Y-yeah?” I blushed, embarrassed at the way I stammered; her voice wasn’t exactly soft, but it wasn’t harsh either. Onna looked down, one hand gripping the shinai slung over her shoulder.

“I’m grateful you didn’t break my weapon.”

“Oh. Well, why would I?”

She looked amused. “Do you know what they call you?”

“Who? And what?”

Onna scoffed, her teasing smile still in place. “Your fans. They call you the ‘Bruiser with a Soft Center’.”

“For real? Aw.”

“On account of your considerable weight.”

I flipped her off, but she just smiled wider; she wasn’t ugly by any means, but she did look prettier when she smiled.

“Yeah, well my “soft center” was still able to handle that thing stabbing me.” I leaned back to survey the wound; my abdomen was already bandaged up. “I wonder how many stitches I needed…”

“I’d say quite a few.”

“You don’t got to sound so pleased…”

“Well, now that I’m here, I wanted to ask,” Onna’s eyes were cunning; I almost figured she already knew the answers to any questions she might have for me. She just had that sort of know it all attitude about her; it kind of pissed me off.

“How did you sense it? I used perfect zetsu to cover it.”

“I just did.” I shrugged at her skeptical gaze. “What? I told ya, I don’t know, I just-wait, how did you even use that in the first place?!”

“You didn’t know? I’m a specialist.” she gave me another long look. “You’re an enhancer I presume?”

“What’s with the snotty attitude about it?”

“Oh nothing.” Onna rose with dignified grace from the rickety chair. “As I stated earlier, I have business to attend to and you’ve already taken up enough of my time.”

“Hey, I didn’t ask you to pay me a visit. Sure was sweet of you though.” I grinned and stuck out my tongue briefly while I gave her a little wave.

As Onna glided from the room she graciously flipped me the bird before disappearing around the corner. I was torn between wanting to howl like a hyena or throw my glass of water at her retreating back.

“She sure is a piece of work…”

I tried to settle back down; but before I knew it, I felt another person’s aura.

A very pissed off aura.

“I could say the same about you.”

Zushi had come into the room first with a relieved smile on his face; Wing had followed soon after, but wasn’t smiling at all. He was holding a bouquet of red roses; it was an odd picture to go with his sour expression. I briefly entertained the image of him using them to whack me over the head and send me into another short coma.

“I can’t believe you did that!” Zushi looked like he could barely contain himself as he hopped on my hospital bed, making the springs creak loudly from the extra weight. 

“Me neither.” Wing said lightly as he sat down in the visiting chair, setting the roses on the table. “We saw Onna-bugeisha leave.”

“Oh yeah, she came to say hey. Sort of.” I shrugged. “She wanted to thank me for not smashing her shinai….sort of.”

“I can’t believe you were able to sense the nen!” Zushi burst out again. “Your intuition is getting better; I’ve never actually seen a specialist fight before. Master Wing, did you know?”

“I actually hypothesized she was a transmuter, but it seems I was mistaken, if what she's saying is true. It's not like such a careful fighter to expose her hatsu.” Wing was looking at me sternly. "But I suppose you wouldn't know anything about that."

“Wing, don’t be mad. I know I pulled a pretty risky move, but it worked!” I tried to smiled cheerfully; I thought he would be at least a little happy to see I won, or at the very least he'd be relieved I wasn't dead. But that didn't seem to be the case. “I still won.”

“You could’ve died of blood loss for that win. You didn't listen, you behaved like a fool, and it nearly backfired.” Wing’s words stung; he grasped his hands together so tightly, I thought he was trying to keep from hitting me. “You…”

“I-I’m sorry. Wing, I-”

“Here. I was asked to give you these.” Wing dumped the roses on my lap, the red petals scattered a bit against the sheets. “There’s a card.”

It was indeed a card. A playing card to be specific, with words scrawled in one of the margins.

Zushi leaned over to get a better look and his face turned pale. “Hisoka? Why is he sending you flowers?!”

“Shit.”

“If he tries anything, we’ll-”

“No, it’s not what you think.” I told Zushi with a grimace as I sniffed the roses. “Didn't you know? They say if you smell roses that means death is near.”

"How'd you know that...?"

"What, I can't have hobbies?" I read the scrawled out message along with Zushi; WIng was absolutely still.

“Urgent. 426.” Zushi frowned. “What does that mean?”

“I think it’s his room number. He wants to talk about something important I guess.” I struggled to think of what it could be. Cryptic bullshit sure, but urgency wasn’t like Hisoka.

“While you’re there, call off the match.”

I placed the flowers calmly on my bedside table. “No.”

“Mindy.”

“Wing, you can’t make me.”

“Your injury-”

“I can still walk once my heads more clear from the medicine.”

“You’re a fool.” Wing got up abruptly. “You’ve learned what you needed to. I won’t sit and be a part of this madness any longer.”

I slapped the card down. “I never asked for your help! You’re the one who came up to me, you didn’t have to-!”

“I already told you, your assumption was incorrect.”

I stared as Wing stopped in front of the door. "What are you talking about?”

Wing's back visibly tensed; he wouldn't look at me.

“Hisoka asked me to teach you. Demanded it really; he threatened to kill Zushi otherwise. Now you know.”

“Master Wing?” Zushi looked up sharply. "You can't be serious..."

The medicine must have had a harder time wearing off, because at the moment I felt ready to pass out again.

“He told me to teach you nen. I apologize if you ever got the wrong idea about me.”

 _“That day...he mentioned the tournament.”_ I bowed my head and tried to remember, tried to block out the voices deep down jeering at me for being so stupid. _“He used to always goad me, tell me how weak I was...was he just trying to push me into this? He could’ve killed_ _me once I tried to get up to the 200th floor. Hisoka was waiting…”_

“So what?” I chuckled humorlessly. “Are you saying he’s been setting this up to kill me? And you were in on it?”

“No, I was simply told to teach you. That’s all.”

 _“This whole time, he was just waiting for me to get strong enough to take down.”_ I clutched the sheets in my fists. _"Everything was a lie...why did I ever think...."_

“I wish you luck. Come Zushi.”

“No.”

Wing’s head snapped around; I had never seen him look so confused.

“Master, you’re lying. That wasn’t all; Mindy’s our friend.” Zushi said indignantly, fists clenched at his sides as he planted his feet. “You’re upset, but ignoring her-”

“You can stay if you want. I’ll have no more; my job is done.”

“Thank you Wing. I’m sorry, I had no idea.”

Zushi’s harsh glare softened as he turned to me. "Mindy, not you too."

“Wing’s right Zushi. Hisoka was forcing him into his own plans; he had us both tricked. I didn’t even bother to ask twice about what was happening. I mean, coincidentally meeting someone who teaches nen? I should’ve thought more of it, but,” I shrugged my shoulders and gave him a small smile. “Well, no matter what the reason, I’m still grateful. And he did it to keep you safe, that’s what matters.” I rubbed my knuckle softly against the top of his head.

“But-”

“I gotta get some sleep. Look, I’ll see ya around." I said sincerely. "Okay Zushi?”

“...okay.”

 

 

 

 

**Third Person POV:**

“Zushi, just come out with it.”

Wing set down his glass; his student had been doing a horrible job of containing his aura. Anyone, even a non nen user could probably sense his anger. Not that he could fault him.

“Master, why?”

“Why?”

Zushi glared at the ground, untangling from his meditation pose. “Why did you say those things? You lied.”

“I told the truth.” Wing replied simply. “I neglected to tell you earlier because I didn’t want you to do anything rash or become worried. It’s done with now.”

“No, it's not! Why did you act like that?” Zushi demanded to know as he leaped up; he could feel his nails digging into his palms. “I thought you liked Mindy, you were worried when she got hurt, and-and-!” Zushi shook his head rapidly. “I just don’t get it, why are you acting like she’s not our friend?!”

Wing looked at Zushi with the utmost calm. “This was all based on blackmail and lies. Mindy-”

“She thinks you don’t like her. She thinks the only reason you helped her is because of Hisoka, but that’s not true. Just because I’m a kid, I’m not stupid.”

“I don't think that at all, but in this case you don’t understand.”

“Yes I do. You think she won’t like us anymore, but she does. Mindy doesn’t hate you, she was just sad after **you** left.”

Zushi felt his voice caught in his throat; he thought maybe a line had been crossed a line as Wing tensed up, fists clenched tightly to his sides.

“I’m sorry Master Wing!” Zushi bowed; he didn’t dare look up, stomach churning as he realized how he had just talked to his mentor.

“Zushi….perhaps you are right.” Wing conceded. “But if you are, then I’m quite certain she doesn’t want me as her teacher any longer. Mindy’s made so much progress, and there really isn’t that much need for me to continue after this is all said and done.”

“But there is.” Zushi said impatiently. “Mindy doesn’t care if you don’t teach her about nen anymore.”

Wing raised an eyebrow. “Then what do you think she cares about?”

“Food.” Zushi shrugged. “And us.”

“...I guess that’s true...both of them.” Wing mustered a smile. “I’m sorry I kept this from you. You’ve come a long way, not just in terms of strength. I underestimated your maturity.”

“I know.”

“...Don’t push it.”


	13. Explanations

For the most part, I liked to consider myself a calm person; I may not be as unflappable as Hisoka or as logical as Wing. Heck, even Zushi managed to keep a cooler head than me at times; regardless, the matters they faced with a calm and collected mindset were much different than the average individuals.

Could anyone be surprised that I found myself flustered and perturbed by death, brutal fights, borderline superpowers, and frankly just the oddest acquaintances I might ever come to meet?

After dealing with it all for this long, it was a sure thing that I was getting used to it all, or at least as accustomed to this new environment as anyone else who got thrown into it might be.

Even so, there was something about Hisoka’s characteristically vague message that made my stomach tighten and twisted into knots.

Urgent. It wasn’t a word I’d associate with him; perhaps serious every now and then, even intense, but urgent and rushed? Still, that was the word he used and here I was standing in front of the door with 426 in brass plated numbers bolted to the top. I kept lowering and raising my hand slightly, hesitant to knock.

 _“Dammit, could he have been more vague? What in the world does he want?”_ I chewed my lip and clenched my fist, knocking on the door briskly. _“Now’s not the time to get nervous; I have questions and he better have answers.”_

I expected the door to come open on it’s own, like something from a old horror movie, but that wasn’t so.

“The door is unlocked.” Hisoka’s voice called out from the other side.

I grunted in displeasure and slowly opened the door myself; I stepped inside tentatively, but there was no one in sight. As a matter of fact, the majority of the lights seemed to be dimmed and the spacious apartment that might’ve looked classy and welcoming now appeared ominous.

“Hisoka? Where are you?”

“In the kitchen.”

“Hisoka?” I called out again warily; I really didn't like the looks of this, and if I didn't have an urgent matter of my own to discuss, I'd have bailed. Only one room had light emanating from inside; I steeled my nerves as I walked toward it, prepared for the worst. I wished he would just come out on his own instead of making me stumble in almost complete darkness.

“You came much sooner than I expected Mindy; why, I thought it would take more time for your injury to heal, but I suppose that’s an enhancer for you.”

I peeked in the room to see Hisoka smiling over his shoulder; his hands were chopping away at carrots on a cutting board. The knife was practically flying and in a few seconds Hisoka had cut up five of them into perfect little slices, dumping the chunks in a large bowl with other veggies.

“What, I interrupted your dinner or something?” I cocked an eyebrow as Hisoka tossed the dish with salad tongs before setting it neatly on the table; four stubs of candles were lit and in the center of a modest spread of food.

“Wait a second,” I said abruptly. “How did you know I was an enhancer?”

“Oh please. You couldn’t be more easy to read.” Hisoka didn’t bother looking at me as he took his sweet time picking a wine from an assortment of wine.

“But what does that have to do with healing?”

Hisoka finally picked out a dusty bottle after some deliberation as I resisted the urge to impatiently tap my foot on the ground. “Enhancers can, well, ‘enhance’ the healing process, along with their strength and speed.” his eyes reached mine. “What, your mentor didn’t tell you that?”

“Hisoka, what do you want?” I said evenly. “You said it was urgent.”

I flinched as the bottle was uncorked; Hisoka smiled widely and poured out two drinks.

 _“There’s two of everything…”_ I realized as I scanned the table briefly before giving him an irate look, my mind buzzing a mile a minute. _“Don’t tell me he wants to poison me before we get a chance to fight? No, that’s not his style...just dinner? Well, Hisoka’s crazy, but it’s not like he’s hostile...at least depending on the person. For him it just might be perfectly acceptable to eat with someone you planned to beat the shit out of later....”_

“You’ll hurt yourself thinking so hard about nothing.” Hisoka waggled a finger. “Come and sit, you must be tired. I’m sure this is more appetizing than any infirmary slop.”

“Thanks, but I’m not hungry. I just want you to answer some-”

“No, no, no, if you want me to tell you something, you should at least make good conversation first.” Hioska sat down in his chair and crossed his legs with an expectant look. “You did barge in here while I was busy.”

“You said it was urgent!”

Hisoka shrugged. “And I meant it; but I have a few moments to spare. Now, tell me something first.”

I sighed and sat down, wincing slightly at the sharp pain in my side. “Alright fine. What is it?”

“I see you found out my little secret. I suppose it doesn’t matter much presently; you’ve already learned the necessities. Now all you have to do is further your training to perfect your techniques.” Hisoka hummed with a pleased grin. “But I’m curious...how do you feel now?”

My glare faltered. “How do I feel?”

“It’s a simple enough question.” Hisoka remarked, knowing the comment would get me more irritated. “How does it feel, knowing it was all a lie? Your precious teacher never even wanted to help you; I forced him into it. I was a bit surprised you weren’t more suspicious; what were the chances someone who could teach you just happened to come by the second I booted you out? Really, you didn’t even have a inkling of suspicion?”

Hisoka used his fork to stab pieces of his food without bringing anything to his lips. “Tell me my dear...are you feeling betrayed? Do you even still want to fight? If not, our match would just be a waste of time, so you might as well tell me now. Are you angry?”

“I’m not mad at Wing. He did what he had to do, it was nothing personal.”

“Oh? And what about me?”

“I’m more surprised, but...you have a point. Even if I didn’t suspect you, I should’ve realized sooner something wasn’t right.” I looked down at my lap; nothing like a dose of self deprecation to lift your spirits, but even so, there was some truth in it. “All this time, Wing must’ve been so tired of it, having to help out a stranger who wasn’t taking half of what he said that seriously. But at least now he doesn’t have to lie anymore and can focus on Zushi’s training.”

Hisoka sipped at his drink, eyeing me over the top of the glass. “Won’t you have anything to eat my dear?”

“No thanks. Now, it's your turn; why did you make Wing teach me nen?”

“I knew you had potential; I just needed to coax it out of you.”

“So, all this time...mentioning the tournament back then, you-” I was completely thrown off at this point. “You planned all of this? Why did you go to so much trouble?”

“Mindy, you know me well enough to see how much I love strong opponents.” Hisoka leaned forward, lowering his voice in an almost conspiring manner. “I have a talent for sensing aura, it's my intuition, luckily it's so sensitive; it was just a matter of giving you a little nudge in the right direction.”

“Sort of like raising a pig for slaughter?”

“I’m sure there’s a less gruesome way to put it; but, for all intents and purposes, you’re not wrong.”

The truth was out; everything had been a big set up. Despite the progress I had managed to make, it was all based on a scheme; I felt a shiver run down my scalp at the epiphany. But now wasn’t the time to dwell on it; Hisoka was still eyeing me fixedly, the candle flames making his pupils shine like a cat’s, waiting for my reaction. Well, he'd get his wish.

“Well, it’s not like I didn’t get anything out of it right?” I half smiled through my gritted teeth; I could feel a lump swell up from the bottom of my throat as it threatened to pop out with every word as I tried to keep my voice steady. “I’m really not angry. I’m just sad more than anything else....Wing, he-he’s mad at me...”

I gulped and shut my eyes tightly; I would never willingly break in front of him. “Uh, look, just tell me what the urgent thing was already.”

“And me?”

I wiped my nose on my sleeve quickly, looking down in slight shame. “What do ya mean?”

“Are you sad I lied to you?”

“No. It was your fault this happened, but I’d be lying if I said I expected something else. I guess I should be honored, right? ‘Hisoka the magician’ sees me fit to fight.” I smiled ruefully. “Is that what you wanted to talk about that was so urgent?”

"There wasn’t anything urgent to discuss.”

The chair scratched the floor as I rose stiffly and made my way out of the kitchen.

“If that’s the case, then I- **shit!** ”

I had moved too quickly; my side was aching now as I half fell to the ground.  

“Look at you, silly thing...” Hisoka chided as he crouched in front of me; I swear I hadn’t even heard him move from his seat. “You really should be more careful; there’s blood coming out through your shirt.”

I pressed my hand to the cold tile, trying to feebly push myself back up and avoid his smirking face.

“Oh...and would you look at this…”

I grabbed his wrist and tried to tug it away from the hem of my shirt as he pushed it up to reveal the stitches; the wound was still held together, but a few of the stitches had torn. I turned my face away from the sight in disgust; Hisoka’s fingers dug into my chin, forcing me to look at him.

He wasn’t smirking; he wasn’t even smiling, not a trace of humor shone in his eyes as his finger traced the skin around my wound.

“Stop it!” I edged away but yelped at the pain it caused; Hisoka did pull his hand away, bringing it close to his face as he stared at the blood smeared on on finger.

“This will leave a scar…” Hisoka said softly. “That arrogant bitch.”

I froze in place as he licked his finger clean.

“I was supposed to leave the first one.”

“You-did you send me that bullshit message so you could just kill me now?” I asked roughly; this was a whole new level of disturbing, a level I was not ready to tackle.

Hisoka finally smiled, but it wasn’t like anything else I had seen before; coupled with the flickering light and the blood smeared over his bottom lip, he looked like a corpse brought back to life.

“Mindy, I’m hurt. I would never kill you before our scheduled match; though I must say, it feels like you’re almost goading me into it.”

Hisoka’s hand tightened on my shirt and brought it back down slowly as he looked into my eyes.

“You look terrified. I never realized how big your eyes were.” Hisoka bit his lip. “I just want to pluck them right out and keep them somewhere safe so I can always remember that look on lonely nights.”

Time seemed to stop as he leaned in closer before I leaned back with a scowl.

“What the fuck do I even say to that?” I pulled out of his loose grip. “Just leave me and my eyes alone.”

“Going to see four eyes?”

“I have glasses too asshole.”

“Well?” Hisoka stood up and followed me to the door, but didn’t make a move to stop me physically.

“There’s nothing else to say. I’m going to fight you next week and then I’ll be done here.” I told him. “I get my money, you get your match, Zushi is safe, everybody’s happy.”

“Go straight back to the doctor to wrap up that wound.”

My hand was just cupped around the doorknob; I didn’t bother to look around. I could feel Hisoka standing just inches away from me.

It was funny really; as freaked out as I was, I wasn’t scared.

Grossed out? Sure.

Irritated? You bet.

Annoyed? Definitely.

But scared?

“You’ll be no good for next week if you die of blood loss, so do take care of yourself until then?”

“Yeah, yeah.” I said tiredly. “I don’t care what happens. I’m not backing out of this.”

“Oh?”

“I busted my ass to get here and I’m not leaving until this is over.” I said. “Zushi and Wing taught me a lot and I won’t let it go to waste….even if he probably hated me this whole time.”

“Come, don’t be so down about that teacher of yours; honestly, men like that are so boring anyway.” Hisoka put a hand on my shoulder. “Be a good girl now and go straight back.”

I cast him one more dirty look before walking away as he waved me off.

**Third Person POV:**

Hisoka closed his door, not bothering to lock it as he went back to the kitchen; he frowned. The candle wax was beginning to drip onto the tablecloth.

 _“Look at how pathetic she gets over that four eyed fool.”_ Hisoka laughed to himself as he took his plate and cup from the table and dumped them in the trash can. _"I was the one who took her to the hospital while those bumbling referees were scrambling. I was the one who went to visit her the first time she awoke, but does she remember? How ungrateful can someone be?"_

_“At least she’s still in for the fight; let’s see how much he managed to even teach her.”_

A grin came across his face as he turned the bottle of wine upside down and let the contents drip out into the sink. _“He’s an enhancer, so chances are he’s more simple than he lets on; he probably has her thinking he’s some great master of martial arts or some tripe. What a joke!”_

The empty plate and wine glass crashed to the floor as Hisoka yanked the table cloth out from under them; he snuffed out the candles and headed back to his room, ignoring the shattered mess on his floor.

_“How peculiar...this game is making my blood boil and I haven’t even gotten started yet.”_


	14. Christmas Omake: Yeah, We're Doing This Again

**Author's Note: I still have a ton of Christmas feels cause I fuckin' love Christmas and I got this idea from watching a bunch of holiday specials! X3 See if you can spot the movie references and you get a sugar cookie. :3**

  
  
  
  
“Wow, it’s really coming down now.” Wing came over to take the dirty dishes from the coffee table. “Mindy, are you sure you want to leave?”

“It’s not that bad out. Besides, the hotel's only a few minutes away.” I added a quick ‘thank you’ after he took my cup to the sink; it felt a bit weird to have my dishes taken away for me, but Wing insisted that since he and Zushi invited me over, they should be good hosts.

“We have more hot chocolate.” Zushi grinned and gestured to the kitchen. “And cookies.”

“Thanks, but I feel ready to burst!” I sighed happily and patted my stomach. “Those were delicious, I had no idea you could bake.”

“Master Wing...can be a bit absent-minded when it comes to cooking.” Zushi glanced at Wing apologetically. “He was trying to make a batch himself earlier, but the ingredients got mixed up, then the smoke-”

“Haha, that was a mess wasn’t it?” Wing smiled blithely. “I suppose my teaching fall short in culinary skills.”

I beamed. “It was nice of you guys to have me over, but I really should leave soon.”

“It’s probably freezing out there.” Zushi’s brows furrowed as he got up for more cocoa.

“I’ll be fine!” I assured them with an amused chuckle; they really were too fussy about certain things, though I could hardly blame them in this situation. Still, if I left early, I wouldn’t get caught in the snow for very long.

As I fished through my bag, I could hear Wing’s chiding voice from the kitchen over the sound of running water.

“It’s good you came over now before the weather picked up. The city always gets a lot of snow around Christmas, but never this quickly before….the news said it should slow down in a bit, but later tonight temperatures will be below zero.”

“Oh, I don’t mind too much. It’s nice on the holidays.” I glanced out the window and over to Zushi. “Hey, why don’t we go sledding sometime? This snow is perfect for it.”

Zushi chuckled. “There’s not many places like that around here; unless you’d like to sled off the side of a building rooftop or something.”

“I think I’ll pass.” I replied. “Well, it still looks pretty-oh, look!”

I rushed over to the window and looked up at the sky; the snow had stopped for the time being and the clouds were thinning out as the wind pushed them along.

“It’s a full moon tonight.” Zushi observed as he stepped beside me. “I’m surprised we can even see it this clearly in the city.”

“It’s beautiful.” I breathed and leaned over slightly. “Can you imagine this in a field? Just the moon and the stars and the light bouncing off the snow?”

“Um...I guess.” Wing had stepped back into the living room, expression somewhat perturbed. 

“What?”

“That just sounded a bit odd.”

I blinked. “Huh? What's that supposed to mean?”

“What’s that?” Whether it was on purpose to try to distract me or out of genuine curiosity, Zushi pointed to my bag; I had left it open by accident.

“Oh, it's....I should probably give you guys your gifts now before I leave.” I said sheepishly and hefted the bag into my lap, taking out one wrapped box. “Here Zushi, this one’s yours.”

“Thanks!” A rare gleam of childlike excitement came to Zushi’s eyes. “Can I open it while you’re here?”

“Sure, why not? It is Christmas.”

Zushi tore off the wrapping paper; I could tell by how slow he was going, Zushi was attempting to hold back. As he picked the tape off the cardboard box and peered inside, his eyes went even wider.

“Did you make this?”

I felt my cheeks flush as he wrapped the dark green scarf around his neck. “Yeah, I hope it’s not too crooked. I thought you might like the color-”

“This is so warm,” Zushi flashed me a smile. “Thanks a lot, it must’ve taken you forever.”

“How long do you think it took me?”

“Ummm,” Zushi paused. “A month?”

“Come on, I’m better at crochet than that!”

“How long then?”

“About a week.”

Wing smiled lightly. “Still, I can tell you put your effort into it; it takes patience to make things by hand after all.”

“Oh yeah, here ya go!” I pulled out another colorful package and tossed it to him. “I made you one too, but yours is black.”

“Um...thank you Mindy.” Wing didn’t look as though he expected me to give him a present. “I should apologize; I don’t have anything for you.”

“No, it’s fine! I really like crochet, but I don’t like wasting money on yarn if I’m not going to make anything out of it, you know?” I waved off his concerns, and tried to rein in my babbling. “It was fun making them and I love doing hand made presents. I hope you don’t mind black...I thought it suited you.”

“I like it very much.”

To my surprise, Wing too threw the scarf around his neck with a grin.

“But, are you positive you’ll be okay going home?”

“Don’t worry mom,” I laughed. “I better go now before the snow picks back up. Merry Christmas!”

 

 

 

  
  


  
  
  
  
The walk to Heaven’s Arena really wasn’t so bad, though I wished I had thought to make a scarf myself; the wind was still cold and it made my cheeks red as the wind stung them. I shoved my hands into my pockets and tried to brace myself.

 _“Dammit, why didn’t I make one for myself? Or at least buy one at the supermarket or something, they’re not expensive…”_ I huffed and watched my breath become visible; the wind was dying down and the clouds were more scarce the longer I walked. _“How much longer until the storm? If I just go straight there, I should be able to make it inside before hand. Still….”_

I almost slowed down though; I sort of understood what Wing meant earlier. It probably was a bit weird to hear me gush over something like that, but I couldn't help myself. Christmas always managed to retain some level of magic for me, even a faint inkling as I grew older, and seeing the winter scenery just heightened the mood.

Part of me wished I could live out in the country, by a forest full of pine trees and snow banks with a clear sky; no city lights to keep me from seeing every star or from dulling the light of a full moon. The idea made me feel oddly at peace, even as I was shivering in my boots.

 _“At least the snow stopped.”_ I paused; though I was drawing nearer to Heaven’s Arena, I still wanted to take my time passing by the small neighborhood. It was fun to look around; only some houses had decorations, but the moon was easier to see without a bunch of lights. Despite the cold, the longer I thought about it, the longer I wanted to stay outside to take in what I was feeling.

A sort of soft glow was emanating from my chest; it felt warm and made me smile childishly, like I had just learned some wonderful secret that no one else but me knew.

 _“Well, I’m sure a lot of other people feel the same as me, right?”_  I laughed a bit at my sudden sentimentality.

At the moment, there wasn’t anyone else in sight. Everyone in the neighborhood was probably inside, preparing for the festivities or relaxing. I briefly wished I had stayed the night at Wing’s house, but I would have felt like I was overstepping myself; I guess what I really wished was to possess enough confidence to be able to have said yes, but it was too late to turn back now before the snow picked up again.

I blew a breath and watched it turn visible in the air.

“Ah well. At least the moon looks nice.”

“I agree.”

"Shit!" I yelped and practically jumped out of my skin as Hisoka raised a hand in greeting. “How long were you standing there?!”

Instead of answering, Hisoka turned his face up to stare at the sky and leaned against the fence behind him.

“Don’t lean there, what if the people who own this place see you?” I said harshly. “They might think you’re some clown burglar and I’m not going to jail because you look suspicious as fuck.”

“You’re just trying to get me to leave aren’t you?”

I shook my head wearily. “Hisoka, just stop sneaking up on me like that.”

“Maybe you should be more on your guard. As a matter of fact," Hisoka sent me a meaningful glance. “I’m surprised you didn’t sense me; I wasn’t trying to be silent.”

“I don’t know,” I let out a long winded sigh and pressed my hand further into my pockets. “I feel a bit safer in an area like this.”

“Ah.”

“What are you doing here? It’s gonna storm soon.”

“I was taking a stroll; it’s a bit too noisy for me in the hotel.” Hisoka smiled. “The cold never bothered me anyway.”

“Oh my-fuck you.”

“But it's thanks to you I feel so warm right now.”

My eyes darted over to him. “What? Oh, right…”

Hisoka tugged on his scarf; the same red scarf from last year. I forgot I had even made it. Honestly, I didn’t remember that much from last Christmas.

 _“Yeah, that wine was stronger than I thought; he could've stole it for all I know...oh well, even Hisoka deserves a present I guess.”_ I ran a hand through my hair; I wondered if he expected something this year. Holidays just didn’t seem like his style, but then again, I could always count on Hisoka to surprise me.

“Mindy, what are you doing out?”

“I just came back from my friend’s house.”

Hisoka looked at me curiously. “And you didn’t want to stay?”

“I just figured I should go, I mean, I didn’t want to overstay my welcome.” I shrugged.

“If they’re your friends, wouldn’t they have wanted you to stay longer? Maybe they don’t like you as much as you think.”

“It’s not like that.” I droned and looked up to the sky. “If you’re just gonna try to bug me, then you can head on yourself. I want to stay out a bit longer.”

“Would that count as my Christmas gift to you?” Hisoka asked pleasantly.

“I’m good.”

Hisoka shook his head. “No, no, it’s is a holiday after all. What do you want my dear? Do you have a special wish?”

“That’s just dumb. I don’t need anything.” I insisted, not liking at all how he sounded like he was trying to talk down to me. “Anyway, I figure asking you for something might backfire…no offense.”

“Can’t you be a little more tactful? I’m only trying to be friendly.” Hisoka edged closer to me; he was looking up at the moon too now, almost as if he was contemplating something.

“What you need and what you want are two very different things you know; I’m asking you what you want.”

“I don’t really want anything, at least nothing I can think of....” I turned my attention back upward; the clouds were slowly moving in again and the snow was sprinkling thin flakes.

“I have just the thing.”

I snapped out of my trance and watched as Hisoka’s nen trailed from one of his fingers; I decided it was unwise to make a joke about the glowing pink aura. I simply looked on as Hisoka made the aura grow longer and longer, until it was something like a thread trailing around him; with a devilish smile, he made it dance around him like a streamer or a rope.

“What are you doing?”

“I got an idea,” Hisoka chuckled. “How about I lasso the moon?”

“You-what?”

The glowing aura was becoming connected into a loop; Hisoka swung it around lazily, never taking his eyes from mine.

“Why not? You like it don’t you? It sounds like a fine idea to me.”

I felt a warmness on my face; it was his breath, puffing out like smoke against my cheeks.

“Hisoka!” I gasped and looked around wildly for a moment; I didn’t even realize he had gotten so close.

“Just say the word Mindy.”

My mouth fell open slightly as I struggled to find a response. _“Where the...hell is this coming from…?”_

Hisoka gave a faint laugh and put a finger under my chin.

“How about I give you the moon?”

The snow was falling a bit faster and the clouds were making a gray blanket that covered what little could be seen of the stars. The full moon’s glow was just barely visible, but there was more than enough light to see the question in Hisoka’s eyes; his hair grew damp as the snow melted on his pale skin.

I had no idea what to say. My brain was still trying to process whatever meaning was behind his little speech as I felt him lean in, hands going around my neck.

“I suppose this will have to do.” Hisoka chuckled and finished wrapping his scarf around my neck and shoulders. “You’re shivering….are you that cold?”

“Thanks...it’s not that cold though, you should keep it on.” I frowned. “It’s yours anyway.”

“You can return it to me in the morning. I make superb waffles.”

“Alright, alright! Just stop it, you’re being so weird.” I snorted through my laughter and began walking. “Don’t tell me you’re drunk.”

“I’m not.”

I stopped to look back; Hisoka’s smile was gone. He wasn’t frowning exactly; his mouth was just sort of in a thin, flat line. Despite his perfectly nonthreatening, even expression, I was floored to the spot once more; as the wind picked up, one end of the scarf wrapped itself around my neck and hit my face; I could smell something sharp as I pulled it back. It had to be his scent.

 _“He must wear this a lot then.”_ I paused to secure it more tightly around my neck; it was twice as long as it needed to be, but it was warm. After I straightened it out carefully, Hisoka still hadn’t moved a muscle as far as I could tell.

“Hisoka?”

“Let’s go home before it really starts coming down.” he began walking past me briskly. “It’d be a shame to catch a cold on Christmas, right?”

“In that case, why don’t you use the damn scarf?” I smiled wearily and undid half of it as I stood on the tips of my toes to reach up.

“Dammit, you’re too tall Hisoka…” I muttered after fastening the other half on his neck; like he said, it was Christmas after all and I could stand his teasing later. “There, I feel bad if you’re cold too.”

Hisoka smiled vaguely. “You really are rather blunt. I’m genuinely trying to figure out whether you can comprehend half the things you say as intentional.”

“...what?” 

“Hm...never mind; shall we?”

Hisoka and I walked side by side the rest of the way.


	15. Allies

 I took a deep breath and began my exercises.

“1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3-”

“What are you doing?”

I didn’t pause. “Keeping time. Why?”

“It’s annoying; just think the numbers in your head.”

“It helps me keep my breathing steady. You don’t have to train here.”

Onna-bugeisha tied up her long hair in a top knot. “This is the only gym in the building. Perhaps you should be more considerate of the other patrons.”

“I really don’t give a shit.” I huffed as I pummeled the enforced punching bag; I wished she would just leave. It was hard enough trying to keep my ten under control without her eyes following my every move.

“Well, aren’t we moody.”

The seam of the bag burst, stopping short of the whole thing exploding.

“Look what you made me do!” I glared at her and let out a groan of frustration as I kicked the bag to the other side of the room. “Dammit!”

Onna just stared.

“Listen lady, I’ve got enough shit to deal with without you bitching about me.” I took a deep breath and ran a hand over my face. “Fuck it. Gym’s all yours.”

I took off my head brace and gloves as I walked away. _“I just wanted a few minutes of peace, just a little bit of time to clear my head and get ready, but no, this bitch is-”_

It was no use; nothing made me feel better. Not training, not food, not sleep; complaining sure wasn't going to help. And that wasn't even mentioning I could barely get any rest for the past week.

To sum it up, I felt guilty; Wing was forced into helping me, Zushi’s life was put in danger, even my snapping at Onna was uncalled for. Part of me wanted to go back and apologize, but there wasn’t much point in doing so. We weren’t friends; come to think about it, the people I thought were my friends weren’t, at least not really. I kept going out of my way to avoid Zushi, even pretending I didn’t hear him calling out for me. I just couldn't face him.

_“It’s better this way. Me being in the picture might make thing difficult for him and Wing. It’ll just be awkward and stressful...they’ll forget about me in no time and everything will go back to normal.”_

My pace began slowing down as I reached an empty hallway; the lack of people made me calm down slightly. I just wanted to be alone. I was going to get through the match, pack my stuff, take my money, leave, and...and...

_“Then what?”_

I stopped and clutched the gloves in my hands. On my right was one of the building’s huge glass windows that overlooked the city. Sometimes it was still hard to believe how high up I was; right in front of me was a whole new world, yet here i was, feeling as low as I had always felt, despite my accomplishments.

I had actually fought my way through one hundred and ninety nine floors to get here and then had fought a few more people. I had spent months learning how to use nen and to apply it to my fighting style, I had nearly gotten myself killed just to win a match and now I was going up against someone who I surely had little chance of actually beating, let alone surviving. The wound in my side had just barely closed up again, but the match was tonight. One more night in this place, one night to show what all my effort had accumulated to.

_“But what was it all for in the end? What’s next? I know I want to go somewhere better. That’s all I wanted; money and to get away. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to feel like I was….worth something.”_

I bit my lip to stifle a cry and pressed my forehead to the cold glass; the heat from my unsteady breathing was fogging it up. I raised my head slightly after a few minutes to make sure I was still alone; my own tear streaked face reflected in the glass, looking just as lost and pathetic as I felt.

_“I haven’t changed at all...it doesn’t matter whether I can use nen, or fight, or where I live. I’m still the fucking same…”_

I was still weak and insecure and tactless and lazy and simple minded and numb. I was nothing more than a pawn to Hisoka, a burden to Wing and a hindrance to Zushi.

I pressed my forehead back against the window and looked out the window; it was such a long way down.

“Today’s my last fight." I sighed softly. "...there’s no reason to stay here anymore.”

“Excuse me? Are you forgetting that you owe me a rematch?”

I felt my face grow hot in shame as I turned away. “Dammit, will you just leave me alone Onna?”

“Don’t blame me; you’re the one making a scene in public. Maybe you were hoping someone would come by-”

“No, I was hoping I could get the hell away from you!”

“Regardless, you still owe me a fight.”

“Lady, I’m probably gonna be dead after tonight.” I sighed and wiped my eyes roughly. “Sorry, but either way, I’m out of here.”

“What about those friends of yours? That man and his student?”

“They’re not my friends; they had to help me out, that’s all.”

“Then what about your partner?”

I was snapped out of my somber trance. “Huh? What partner?”

“The magician.”

“The magi-you mean Hisoka?” I frowned. “He’s not my partner. They don’t even allow double team fights.”

Onna made a sound of mild disgust. “At least your fighting skills are passable; god knows your intelligence is woefully inept.”

“Whatever, I already told you I’m out of here today.” I started walking in the opposite direction. _“I talk down to myself more than enough, I don’t need this bitch giving me shit…”_

“Leaving so you can go feel sorry for yourself some more?”

“You-listen here!” I whirled around. “I feel like shit, okay?! Just let me feel like shit for five minutes in peace so I can get my head straight! Oh, sorry we’re not all ice bitches like you, sorry I can’t always be strong and stoic and an uncaring asshole! So yeah, I feel fucking awful right now and I’ll probably feel this way again later, but it’s none of your business! If you don’t like it, then shut up and leave me **alone!** ”

“Maybe instead of keeping all of this to yourself, you can stop being a coward and actually talk about it.” Onna stepped forward, her expression unchanging. “It couldn’t be more obvious you cared about those people; why don’t you be honest with them instead of running away?”

I shook my head. “I just caused them trouble.”

“If that’s how you feel, then don’t you think you owe them something? They looked worried when I passed them that day in the hospital. I may not be some bleeding heart, but at least I can realize what something really means. If you weren’t so wrapped up in hating yourself, maybe you’d see how much they care about you.”

I felt tears sting the corners of my eyes once more. “Why do you even care?”

“I want that rematch.”

“Gee, thanks.” I laughed wetly, sniffing back the snot that was just barely dripping from my nose “But why? I just won by dumb luck.”

“You were able to sense my nen, even with zetsu blocking my aura. The only other person I’ve met who was able to sense it so acutely is the magician.”

I stared at her. “You’re joking?”

Onna stood next to me and looked out the window. “I’ve spent my life fighting. We’re not so different...I guess.”

“Look, I don’t like fighting. I just thought doing this would..." I turned my face away. “I don’t know.”

“Lies.”

“Well, what do you want me to say?!”

“The truth.” Onna gazed at me imperiously; she was taller by just a few inches, but I would bet money she’d be intimidating if she was just half my height.

“The hell does that mean?”

“People come to Heaven’s Arena for many reasons; money, glory, experience, lodging in return for their participation, and some are just blood thirsty, as evidenced by your partner.”

“He’s not my-”

“Mindy.” Onna cut me off sharply. “Why are you here?”

“I wanted to make money.”

“Why?”

I laughed. “Why? Who doesn’t? I need it; everyone needs money.”

“Then why are you on the 200th floor? You can’t win money here.”

I couldn’t look at her straight. “You’ll just think it’s stupid, okay?”

“I don’t think you’re stupid. A bit dumb, but not stupid.”

“Okay…”

“I want to fight you for the same reason as the magician; well, to some, less insane, extent. I enjoy fighting the strong and advancing my skills. I really can’t deduce exactly why he fights. He just seems to get a sick thrill out of bloodshed. You may have beaten me by a lucky strike, but I can tell you’re not as weak as you claim. Simply put, I wish to test that strength of yours.”

“Do what you want, but I don’t want to fight you again if I can help it.” I told her firmly. “I mean it, I don’t get why Hisoka likes this so much. I just want to fight him this one time, so I can…”

Onna remained silent; her aura didn’t tell me a thing about what she was feeling. I truly did admire her for being able to keep her head so easily. Why the hell was so much easier to see the things you wanted in other people?

“Onna,” I leaned against the window and held my gloves to my chest. “Where I come from, people are tired. You look at them, and they just look...defeated. They gave up and fine with living in that shit hole. But I'm not one to talk. I was just the same; I didn’t care anymore, about where I came from or who I was. I had nothing to look forward to and nothing to live for.”

"And so you came here?" Onna quirked an eyebrow. "Did they run out of scratch tickets at the local drugstore?"

I couldn't help a dry chuckle. “ Hardly....I took up boxing to protect myself; it's a long story, but someone ended up dead 'cause I couldn't handle a situation on my own. Then I entered this competition to win money to get out of there, so I'd never have to go through something like that again. Everything I did up until a while ago was for survival, but then it was starting to mean more than that…”

“Did you find inspiration in battle?”

“No. I found it in Hisoka.”

Onna actually looked perturbed. No, maybe disturbed was more accurate.

“I know, you don't have to say it....but Hisoka….he was unlike anyone I had ever met." I leaned my head back on the wall and chuckled softly at the memory. "The day I met him, I knew he was different than any other asshole I’d ever meet. He was completely himself; confident, strong, and his own person. He wasn’t afraid or beaten down; I looked into his eyes and saw all the emotion and drive I had never even thought I could have. For that, I admired him from then on.”

“So that’s it? Is that why you’re here? You want to fight him and prove something?”

“I want to be able to look in the mirror...and see something. I worked so hard Onna, and now I’m here, at the top. If he really thinks I’m worth a fight, then-”

“You’ll die.”

“Maybe.”

“You really are foolish."

"So I've heard..."

"What about those friends of yours? Do you want them to watch as he guts you like a fish? All of this will be for nothing if you die now. You still care about them, so why would you want to make them bear witness to your death?”

“Onna…” I smiled; she just glared coldly, but it didn’t diminish the impact of her words. “You do care.”

“I want a rematch.”

“Yeah, yeah...hey,” I nudged her shoulder. “I’m sorry. I was wrong about you; I shouldn’t have called you icy or cold. You are a bit bitchy though.”

“You’re a very candid person, aren't you? At any rate, it’s hard to dislike someone so pitiful.”

"Oh, so you like me then?"

"That is not what I said."

I rolled my eyes. “Thanks for the pep talk. I meant what I said earlier though; I gotta go through with this. Onna, I **need** to do this….I’m sorry if I made you worry.”

“I was not.”

“I’ll be okay.” 

“Just don’t ignore what I said. If you care so much about your friends, talk to them. Hisoka might not give you a chance later.” Onna said solemnly. “If you care about someone, should you not be honest with them?”

As I walked away from the frowning warrior, I smiled to myself. “You give pretty good advice; why don’t you take some of it for yourself?”  
  
  
  
That night, I stood outside the arena; I wasn't sure what I felt. All I really knew was that Hisoka was waiting behind those doors.  
  
 _"I need to be more open about the right things. I need to be honest with the people I care about, or I'll never really change. I need to become the person I want to be...I'll take my first step today."_


	16. Kiss

As the announcer was going through with introductions, I felt as though I was hearing her from underwater. The perky voice was being drowned out from the blood rushing to my head and my heartbeat pounding in my ears as Hisoka walked toward me.

“Hisoka has a knockdown ratio of-uh, wait, it seems that he’s already starting the match?!”

I blinked and felt my mind being cleared of anxiety as Hisoka stood just a foot in front of me with a smile.

A really, really weird smile.

“Mindy….” he breathed; maybe this match wasn't going to be so much scary as creepy. 

“Uh, hey.” I raised a hand limply. “So, we’re gonna fight today…”

“You look like something’s on your mind. I would prefer if you paid attention during our match together.”

“Er, alright,” I was a bit surprised at his almost sultry tone, but then again, this was my chance to speak up; better late then never. “Hisoka...I have something I want to tell you.”

“Go on.”

“I get it now. I get why you set me up for this. I get that all this time you were planning to fight me….and probably kill me.” I said awkwardly; this might be even harder than actually fighting him.

At any rate, Hisoka didn’t say anything to support my claim; but he didn’t dismiss it either.

“I also get you have your own reasons for doing what you did to get me here.” I shrugged my shoulders. “But...if it hadn’t been for you, I’d never have done any of this. I wouldn’t have gotten this strong or met these really great people, even if….even if maybe they weren't so happy to meet me.”

Hisoka nodded. “And so? What is it you’re trying to say?”

“It seems that Mindy and Hisoka have paused this match to have a….heart to heart?!” the commentator pressed the microphone so close to her mouth, her voice was amplified to almost painful levels. I winced at the borderline shriek, but Hisoka just looked as amused as ever; the crowd was pretty muted, the only sounds were hushed mutters and whispers among the viewers.

"Would you mind?!" I yelled and pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. "Goddammit...right….anyway, I-I…”

Hisoka took a few steps closer. “What is it my dear?”

“Could you not?” I said defensively. “Ugh, look, the truth is...ever since the day I met you...I admired you. I envied you; Hisoka, you’re amazing. You’re strong and confident and you're so sure of yourself. I don’t like everything you do, but you are who you are, and you don’t give two shits what anyone thinks, because at the end of the day, you’re living your life the way you want to.”

I smiled sheepishly. “I really was weak before I met you, because I wasn’t strong enough to be able to do that. I was just barely making it through this-this sad excuse for a life. You were the first person I met who didn’t look brought down by the world. I want to be able to find a reason to be happy and live my life, and maybe be a better person at the end of it. I know this doesn’t interest you; but I want to be honest. I wanted to tell you this before...”

Hisoka was smiling faintly, teasingly; despite my resolve to get this out of mys system now, I was sure he’d mock me for this later. If there was a later.

“Hisoka, helping me wasn’t exactly what you had in mind, but it still happened because of you. I learned to box, I learned nen, made some good memories, earned enough money to leave that shit hole and...even though it wasn’t intentional on their part, I met Zushi and Wing. Whatever your reasons were, I...I wanted to say thank you.”

I inhaled and took up my stance, raising my gloved hands to eye level; Hisoka stood his ground.

“I’ll give you everything I’ve got.”

The arena was dead silent, even the commentator had ceased her announcing. All eyes were on us, but at the moment, nothing else mattered. I said what I needed to and that's all that mattered.

“Mindy…” he said in a hushed tone, smile growing until it stretched across his face.

Ignoring his playful demeanor, I narrowed my eyes in a challenging glare; I wasn’t afraid of him. Maybe he was more skilled, more powerful, but I wasn’t going to roll over and die. If he wanted a fight, I would give it to him and I would make damn sure to leave a few marks before this was over.

I clenched my fists tighter and focused on letting my aura wash over my body like water rushing down a hill in steady currents. I held my own ground as Hisoka made a slight movement; his hands were twitching and my mind raced with ideas of what tactic he would employ first.

“Mindy, don't....you can't look at me that way…”

I kept my eyes trained on his, waiting patiently for his first strike.

“Don’t….how can you expect me to focus? I’m getting so turned on....”

 

 

 

  
  


 

 

 

  
  
  
  
The color drained from my face as Hisoka licked his lips with a ravenous expression; he brought a hand to his hair and ran his fingers through it, his other hand clutching at his own shirt.

**“Goddammit, can you stop being creepy for five seconds?!”**

I backed away slightly and held my hands in front of me; as he came closer, I shrieked like a banshee.

“Ew,ew,ew, stay away!!!”

“A-ahem, the match has begun!” The commentator must have finally collected herself. “Competitors, please get into position!”

“Hey, wait a minute!” I yelled at the screen; Hisoka’s aura was making me frantic, and it wasn't because of the blood lust. “So you’re just gonna act like he didn’t say what he just said?! **Is anyone else hearing this shit?!?”**

“START THE MATCH OR YOU’RE DISQUALIFIED!”

I shook my head and charged forward. “Fine! Dammit, you mother fu-”

“Don’t lose your head just yet~”

“Shit!” I just barely missed one of Hisoka’s swipes; the tips of his nails grazed my cheek. He smiled wider and lunged; I took the chance to feint punching his face and landed a hit at his stomach. While the force of the hit made him bend at the waist, I knocked his head into my knee. Hisoka landed near the other end of the arena and I took a second to glance at my knee; there was blood staining the cloth of my pants.

_“Holy shit…I actually got him!”_

I was still in slight shock as Hisoka stood up; he wiped the corner of his mouth with a little smirk.

“My, my, how you’ve grown…” Hisoka’s eyes glinted as he lunged forward; in less than a few seconds, he was above me.

“Hisoka has gone straight to the offensive!” the commentator was almost inaudible over the roar of the spectators. “Mindy had landed two critical hits! Ouch, that’s gonna leave a mark!”

 _“Dammit, he’s fast.”_ I stood my ground and blocked against one of his swings. _“I need to put all my weight into this, but I won’t give him the chance to knock me down!”_

“Mindy has just used a-what was it? That move was called the ‘haymaker’, and it looks like it has made quite the impact! Hisoka is once again caught off guard-she’s crouched down and delivered a strong uppercut!”

I breathed harshly as Hisoka made some distance between us; using my nen in such big bursts was taking a lot out of me and I was just barely keeping out of his more lethal moves.

_“My hatsu...it’s a bit earlier, but maybe if I use it now, I can end this….maybe I can even win!”_

Hisoka chuckled; I sent him a dirty look. I had no idea why he was being so relaxed when I was the one with the upper hand so far; maybe at the time he could sense how naive my thought process was going.

“Mindy, what was it you said before? ‘Is that all you got?’”

I breathed in and out slowly; his face was calm, but his aura was flaring around him menacingly. It almost made me freeze up.

_“No. Not this time.”_

“Mindy seems to have made the first move this time! She’s shuffling back and forth...is she trying to catch him off guard again? Wow, she’s so fast, her feet are a blur!”

Hisoka knew better then to keep an eye on where my feet were; but it didn’t matter. This was just a way to keep him guessing.

“ _Now!”_

I crouched; my nen was encasing my whole body now as I jumped up to land a punch right to Hisoka’s chin.

“MINDY HAS SENT HISOKA FLYING OUT OF THE RING!!!”

“Gazelle punch!” I pumped one fist in the air triumphantly; honestly, it wasn’t that impressive in theory, but it sure felt awesome.

“Master….how did Mindy…?” Zushi and his teacher were sitting high in the stands; at first Wing was sort of against attending on the chance Mindy saw them, but his student had talked him down and convinced him. After all, how could they miss this?

Wing chuckled, seemingly more at ease as Mindy fought; it was clear she wasn't defenseless at the very least. “That is an actual boxing move; Mindy basically used her nen to enhance her strength and power behind the blow. But…”

“What is it Master Wing?” Zushi stared worriedly as Wing’s smile dropped; he made sure to listen carefully, he could just barely make out what his teacher was saying over how loud the crowd was cheering.

“Using that amount of nen can be dangerous; she needs to be more conservative. Mindy has shown to be able to access almost all of hers to use an attack like that, but I don’t know how much of a toll it can take on someone’s body. She may have landed more hits, but then end result…”

“He’s getting back up!”

“Damn.” Wing sighed and clenched his fists together as he watched Hisoka rise to his feet.

Before the referee could go to check on Hisoka, he was back in the ring; I frowned slightly. A hit like that to the chin should have disoriented him more.

“There are certain parts where the jaw is connected to the skull; a punch to the side of the chin, especially one with that much power backing it up, should have knocked him out cold.” Wing cursed under his breath; this fight was taking a turn for the worst.

 _“So much for my special move…”_ I clenched my teeth and took a defensive stance; Hisoka was advancing on me slowly, stopping just a few feet away with a taunting smirk.

“Not bad at all. Yes...that was actually unexpected.” As roughed up as he looked, Hisoka’s smile was positively elated.

I gasped; he was right behind me, his aura making my blood run cold. I cried out as his hand slammed between my shoulder blades; I quickly used ken to lessening the damage as I was sent hurdling into the ground.

“Shit…” I wheezed and scrambled to get up; Hisoka descended on me, jabbing at my arms, legs, torso, and neck. I was able to just dodge every blow, but my energy was being diminished.

“Okay, let’s try something new!”

“Running away from me?” Hisoka chuckled as I catapulted into the air; the smile faltered.

“Mindy has materialized right in front of Hisoka in a manner of milliseconds! Another direct hit-wait, Hisoka has dodged at the last second!”

I growled; the momentum made it impossible for me to stop. My fist made contact with the ground instead.

“The arena floor is-it’s been reduced to rubble!”

I slapped a hand to my face. “Aw crap.”

Both me and Hisoka were momentarily busy dodging bits and large projectiles of concrete raining down on us; the audience seated closest to the arena were racing and pushing others out of the way to get away from the damage. I was trying to search for Hisoka through the clouds of dust and debris, but I was having a hard time even sensing his aura.

“Where are they?!” the commentator was on the edge of her seat. “Referee, someone get down there and clear this so we can see the match!!!”

But the dust had already settled, and I could see Hisoka; he made no move to hide himself.

“What a mess you’ve made.” Hisoka looked around with a playful grin.

I grimaced. “I didn’t mean to..”

“Your technique is sloppy, but your power….it’s positively unrestrained. Its got my blood racing....you were really trying to kill me, weren’t you?”

“What?!” I recoiled. “Jesus, no! I just want to knock you out.”

“I may have overestimated you.” Hisoka sighed in disappointment; he raised up one hand toward me. “If you weren’t so busy on enhancing your power, you might have been able to sense my Bungee Gum.”

I felt my knees scrap as I was dragged across the broken floor; Ithen  saw them. The glowing pink threads attached to my legs and arms. There was even one looped around my neck.

_“Like a noose…”_

I tried to harden one of my fists and forcibly tear the attachments from my body, but Hisoka just tightened the bonds; the ones stuck to my legs braced them to the ground.

“No!” I breathed harshly as my arms were held to my sides; Hisoka’s aura held like super glue. I was certain if I did try to manually tear them away, my skin would rip off. “Fuck, I can’t move!”

“That’s the idea~” Hisoka took his time strolling toward me. “My hatsu can’t be shaken off; only I can remove it. Sorry my dear, it seems like you’re trapped in a...sticky situation.”

I groaned. “Really?”

Hisoka smiled and stood in front, his sharp eyes looking down on me. I glared up at him, still struggling against my bonds, but it was no use.

 _“I already used up so much energy...even if I managed to get loose somehow, I’d-”_ I froze, feeling something wet against my side. _“No...no dammit, you gotta be kidding me!”_

“Oh, I told you you should be careful with your injury~” Hisoka tutted and crouched down to my level to get a better look at the stain slowly spreading on my shirt.

The wound Onna inflicted had been opened up during my struggling; if Hisoka didn’t finish me off, the blood loss would.

 _“It’s my own fault...I wasn’t careful.”_ I looked down in horror, the pain of the injury becoming more apparent as the feeling of Hisoka’s nen pressed up harder against it.

“Oops, did I do that?”

“Hisoka.” I growled and tried to slam my head into his chin, but all he had to do was move back by a centimeter. “I’m not done dammit!”

“Yes, you are.” Hisoka frowned and made the loop around my neck tight enough to briefly choke me. “See? I have the upper hand here my dear.”

He looked bored as I coughed and sputtered; my throat was sore, my limbs were aching, and the blood loss was already causing me to feel weak.

“Yes, you’ll definitely need to see a doctor after this.” Hisoka commented. “It seems that you weren’t as ready as I anticipated; you have the strength but not the skill to use it properly.”

“What?” I paused and fought to keep my vision from growing more blurred.

“Mindy is unable to continue the match; Hisoka is our victor once more!”

“No…” I said softly.

“It’s over Mindy.”

“No! I don’t--I can still-!”

“Be quiet. You’re just embarrassing yourself.”

“Dammit, I don’t need a lecture from you.” I averted my eyes to the ground; angry tears were streaming down my face. I had come so close, just to fail. _“Dammit, I didn't want him to see me cry…”_

“There’s no need to cry."

I blinked hard; he sounded almost kind.

"I won’t kill you now, not when you’re potential has yet to fully surface.” Hisoka winked. “I’ll look forward to it~”

“I don’t care. I...I lost. Wing and Zushi’s help was for nothing; in the end I just couldn't make the cut....and this whole time, you knew I didn’t have a chance didn’t you?”

Hisoka blinked. “Come again?”

“You knew.” I said firmly. “You knew I wasn’t ready, I was barely competition, but you still challenged me. Why? What the fuck is going through your head?”

“Is it so hard to believe I made a mistake?”

“In this situation, yeah. You’re right though; I screwed up. I was careless. Sorry to disappoint, ha...ha….” I chuckled weakly and blinked my eyes hard; my vision was failing me. I looked down with half closed lids; there was a small pool of blood around my knees. As I was becoming transfixed by the slowly leaking fluid, I felt something warm on my chin and my head was raised up until me and Hisoka were at eye level.

“You really were something. There’s not even any prize money involved!” Hisoka added blithely; the only thing keeping my head up was two of his fingers on the tip of my chin. “Still, it’s really only fair you get a reward.”

Hisoka’s hand switched to grabbing onto my cheek as he leaned in; I jolted back, but his Bungee Gum was still holding fast as he prodded his tongue between my lips.

But a second later, we were both tasting blood; Hisoka was smiling broadly as he pulled back, licking the gash on his bottom lip with a predatory gaze.

“I’m surprised you have enough strength to bite me that hard.”

“F-fuck you.” I muttered, doubling over and spat out his blood. “Isn’t it bad enough I lost?”

“Whatever do you-”

“Don’t fuckin’ patronize me!” I thrashed and landed on my side, crying out from the pain. “You asshole, you have no right…..I’ll....I…”

Hisoka’s piercing eyes were the last thing I saw; the last thing I heard was sirens.


	17. One-sided Conversations

“Thank you, I’ll be sure to give these to her when she wakes up.”

Wing handed the nurse a bag of clothes, having gotten permission to go into Mindy’s room and bring some of her belongings to the building’s infirmary.

“Ma’am, I was wondering-”

“Can we visit Mindy? Is she awake?” Zushi cut off abruptly; the nurse looked down at him with a somewhat bewildered expression.

“Oh, I’m sorry, but she’s still resting.”

“But will she be okay?!”

“I…” the nurse bit his lip. “I’m just here to monitor her; I don’t really know the details. I’m sorry I can’t give you more information.”

“No, we understand. Zushi, we should leave now, visiting hours are over anyway.”

After thanking the nurse, Zushi followed Wing reluctantly to the elevator; he knew by the time they were able to go in it would be too late to visit, but he thought Wing would at least be a bit more assertive.

“Zushi, don’t sulk. Mindy needs all the rest she can get.”

“Master Wing, what if she doesn't wake up?”

“She is going to wake up; I’m certain her injuries weren’t that severe.”

“I thought we were going to find the doctor and ask?”

“It’s getting late. They might not even be in.”

Zushi frowned at the ground. “It’s been a week.”

Wing stared at the lit buttons; the lower they descended on the floor levels, a button would go dim. So far, their ride had been uninterrupted by any other passengers; this wasn’t a time of night where they were bound to run into anyone.

Or so he thought.

“Excuse me.”

A familiar dark haired woman pressed the button for the floor they had just come from.

“You’re Onna-bugeisha.” Zushi said as he stared up at the imposing woman; she spared him a glance.

“Your point?”

“Why are you going to the hospital wing?”

“Children should not speak until they’re spoken to.”

“Hey!”

“Zushi, don’t be rude. It’s none of our business where she goes.” WIng said sternly. “My apologies.”

Onna turned to look at Wing fully. “Ah, you’re the man she was crying over.”

“W-what?”

Zushi didn’t give Onna a chance to reiterate. “You talked to Mindy?”

“Briefly.”

“Are you going to see her then? We were just there and visiting hours are over, plus..." Zushi’s voice trailed off, a bit unsure if he should be saying so much to this woman; but she was trying to visit Mindy, so maybe it was okay?

“She hasn’t woken up since the fight.”

“...I see. I suppose it would be pointless to bring her this.”

Onna held up a package wrapped neatly in brown paper. “Would the doctor allow me to leave it with her? It would need to be kept cold though.”

“Um, yes, they have refrigerators for staff use; I’m sure they’d allow you to use them.” Wing adjusted his glasses. “What is that?”

“Meat.”

“...you just brought her raw meat?” Zushi cringed away from the parcel.

“This is not just any meat, thank you. It’s of a quality I’m sure that glutton would be lucky to sample once in her lifetime.”

“She’s not a glutton!”

Onna looked at Zushi dully.

“Okay, so she likes to eat, so what?” Zushi huffed. “If it wasn’t for you, she would be awake to eat it now.”

“Excuse me? Was I the one to defeat her last? Is it my blame she was careless and undisciplined? I think not.” Onna said coldly. “If anything, I’d say your mentor is more to blame than I.”

“Would you?” It was Wing who spoke up this time, his calm tone doing nothing to cover his narrowed gaze.

“Yes. I would.” Onna stated plainly. “Perhaps if you hadn’t abandoned your student just before a match she clearly needed more training for, she wouldn’t be lying half dead in the hospital.”

“There is nothing to your claim. Mindy is just in a weakened state; there's nothing for me to feel guilt over.”

“Then why haven’t you gone to check on her? I haven’t seen you all week; are you not even curious as to whether she’ll regain consciousness?”

Wing remained perfectly civil despite the now somewhat clipped edge to his words. “I have no further obligation to her. I taught her everything she needed to know; it was her choice to fight Hisoka.”

“Master!” Zushi exclaimed incredulously. “What’s the matter with you?!”

Wing started; Onna herself looked unexpectedly startled at the surge of aura that came from Zushi’s profile.

“Why can’t you just admit you’re worried too?!” Zushi glared up at his teacher. “You won’t even try to visit Mindy! I thought-”

“I’ll be getting off here. I’m not partial to bearing witness to petty dramas.” Onna stepped out as the doors slide open. “Goodbye then.”

The elevator jolted slightly before resuming its journey; Zushi’s small frame was still shaking slightly. It felt wrong to talk to his teacher in such a way, but he couldn’t stand it. He couldn’t stand how cold Wing was being all of a sudden.

“Zushi, this isn’t the time-”

“Then when is? Why are you avoiding going to see her? I thought you said you’d at least try to talk with Mindy after this was over?” Zushi asked with an almost desperate plea. “She thinks we hate her; she won’t answer me when I call out to her...now she might be really hurt and you won’t even-!”

“That’s enough!”

The elevator paused briefly; the enclosed space was full of sudden tension.

“Zushi, did it cross your mind that maybe I’m the last person Mindy would want to see when she wakes up?”

“No, because she isn’t thinking that way!” Zushi countered. “I’m sick of this….ever since that fight, you’ve been acting so weird...it’s like you’re…”

Wing let out a deep breath. “Like what?”

“You’re scared or something.”

It was all out in the open now; days of Zushi tip toeing around the subject, covertly trying to seek out his friend, and get Wing to speak more on the dilemma. Now it was out and Zushi wouldn’t just let it drop this time.

“That lady said Mindy was crying; she feels like we don't like her or something. But look at everything we’ve been through. I like Mindy; I want to help her train and I want to be there for her if she wakes up. When she wakes up.” Zushi corrected himself. "I know you feel bad too, but it's not fair to ignore her."

Wing contemplated his student with an air of sobriety and pride; everything he said was true. Initially, the situation was just about keeping Hisoka away from his student; not that he disliked Mindy. He was determined to be as helpful and as civil to her as any other student despite the circumstances; as the months went by, he watched her grow with a teacher's pride. 

But then things had changed; she began staying later to help with chores and cooking to repay him for his 'kindness'; then Zushi took a shine to her. Then before he even knew what was happening, she had changed; when she was happy and joking, he found himself smiling too. When she was frustrated and upset, he wanted to do everything he could to help her. And when he realized how it would feel for Mindy to know the truth, Wing thought the best thing would be keeping his distance. 

The problem was, it wasn't the best thing for her.

“You’re right. I don’t like the idea of her waking up and hating me.” Wing smiled wryly. “Perhaps you think I’m the one sulking?”

“N-no Master Wing, I-”

“It’s okay Zushi. Tomorrow.” Wing nodded; they were about to reach their floor. They would go back to his home, meditate, and get some things together to bring to their friend. Mindy would probably be bored when she woke up.

“We’ll go tomorrow?” Zushi grinned as Wing nodded once more. “Then remember to dress properly; Master, your shirt-”

“Oh, hello~”

“Hisoka!” Zushi jumped back in a defensive stance; they hadn’t realized the elevator had come to the ground floor. They hadn’t even sensed another person coming toward them. Hisoka stood just in the doorway; the doors weren’t closing automatically. Wing realized Hisoka was holding them apart with nen.

“Good evening.”

“Hisoka, nice to see you again.” Wing commented blandly.

“It’s been a while hasn’t it? Oh, I suggest you tell that boy to calm himself before I get offended.”

Zushi felt sweat drip from his temple at Hisoka’s stare; thoroughly unnerved, he lowered his arms to his sides reluctantly.

“Zushi, please go on without me.”

“But Master-”

“Now.”

Zushi hesitated; Hisoka moved to the side.

“Go on now. The adults need to have a discussion.”

“Go Zushi.” Wing turned to face Hisoka and waited until Zushi was out of sight to speak to him.

“Let me guess, you just came from the hospital?” Hisoka put a hand on his cocked hip.

“Yes; Zushi and I dropped off a few of Mindy’s belongings she may need once she wakes up.”

“So she’s still knocked out?”

“Yes.”

Hisoka looked at Wing with a peculiar smile. “My, my, why so stiff? You aren’t still holding a grudge against me for making you teach her?”

“No, not at all.”

“No? You don’t seem pleased to see me. Are you angry I threatened that boy’s life perhaps? Or that I beat your former student?”

Hisoka smiled slowly. “Or maybe….you’re upset about the little reward I gave her?”

“I am concerned that you’re up to something. I wouldn’t put it past you to finish off your target, now that you’ve seen Mindy isn’t as much as a challenge as you anticipated.”

“Hm? Certainly not; Mindy still has so much potential. I still thrill at the memory of our match, it’s as if I got these just today.” Hisoka caressed his somewhat bruised chin lovingly. “That hit...it was simply euphoric, such raw power. Once she’s able to control it better, I’ll never be able to get enough….”

“At the moment someone else is visiting her. Onna-bugeisha passed us on her way there.”

Hisoka frowned. “Oh her. I don’t want to have to deal with that woman, she’s so hostile. Then again…”

Wing cleared his throat. “May I go? My student is probably waiting for me.”

“Of course.” Hisoka moved aside and into the elevator; Wing felt a chill emanating from the little space. “I mustn’t keep Mindy waiting as well.”

Wing narrowed his eyes as the doors closed swiftly; before he left, he forced himself to calm down. If Hisoka sensed any killing intent, he would surely not just let it go.

_“Don’t be foolish...he’s not interested in fighting her now...I can’t go jumping in…”_

Wing pushed his glasses up and walked away resolutely.

 

  
  
  
  
"Hello, I’m here to visit-”

“I’m sorry, visiting hours are over.” the nurse said.

“Didn’t you let in one of the other contestants some time ago?”

“Yes, a woman did come in, but it was only to drop off something for one of our patients.”

“Mindy?”

“Um, yes.” The nurse surveyed Hisoka warily. “But visiting hours are-”

“I’m not in the mood for waiting.”

Hisoka smiled as the nurse crumpled to the ground; he took the key card from the front pocket of their uniform and whistled a tune as he strolled down the hallway of the emergency area.

“Now where is-ah, here we are!” Hisoka swiped the card in the doors metallic slot and the lock was unlatched. The room only had a small lamp for light. The rest of the room was illuminated by the flashing of a heart monitor; a thin line was moving moving across the screen, the soft, steady beeping was the only sound in the room.

 _“Yep, she’s still out cold. I suppose it wasn’t any use to wait this long.”_ Hisoka pulled up the visitors chair, turned it around, and seated himself comfortably. _“I wonder, are the injuries that severe? Or is it just from opening the old wound? No, probably that and overusing her nen. She’s so stubborn; it’s not as if she had to fight me so soon.”_

Hisoka heard a scream outside and people crying for help. _“Oh, I forgot about that. Well, the doors are locked here anyway.”_

Despite the stifled sounds of commotion, Mindy hadn’t stirred a bit.

 _“Even if she could figure out how to control her body’s healing process, she’ll probably be out of commission for a while.”_ Hisoka leaned his chin over his crossed arms that draped over the back of the chair; he let out a yawn and stared down at the wrapped up injury. Spots of blood had seeped through; he wondered if they would call another staff member in the middle of the night to change it. If they could get someone free and not dealing with the dead body outside.

“This is so boring. I can’t just wait around for you to get better.”

Hisoka rose from his chair and headed toward the door; hanging in front of it was a container of bandages and alcohol wipes. He helped himself and went back over to Mindy, concentrating on making his Bungee Gum hold her up from the ceiling; he raised the thin fabric of the hospital gown up further to reveal the dirtied cloth.

“Oh my, how ghastly.”

The cut had been restitched and dried blood caked the seams; Hisoka took the wipes and swiftly cleaned up the mess.

“Ah!”

Hisoka looked up quickly; Mindy’s face was contorted in slight discomfort before falling back to a blank expression.

“You baby. I’m not even being that rough.”

There was no reply as her breathing slowed; Hisoka waited and wrapped up the wound, but all he could hear was the monitor. 

“If you weren’t so woefully reckless, I wouldn’t be bored to tears right now and you wouldn’t be incapacitated.”

He lowered her to the bed and sat back in his previous position; he studied her for a bit and noticed Mindy’s hair was curled and slightly damp. _“Did someone wash her hair earlier? I don’t see why, it’s not as if she’s going anywhere anytime soon…”_

Hisoka sighed and pulled out a deck of cards; he shuffled through them lazily before picking one.

“Is this your card?”

Silence.

“The Queen of Hearts?” Hisoka flipped through his cards effortlessly and pulled out just the one he was looking for; it was a king holding a sword behind his head, making it look as though he was stabbing it in. “More like one of the suicide kings...you know, if you end up dead from this, it’ll just be your own fault~”

_“....ever since the day I met you...I admired you.”_

“Admire?” Hisoka folded his deck up and made them disappear with a wave of one hand. “Honestly, did you think that little speech would make me go easy on you?”

Mindy gave no reply as she turned her head a bit to the side, brow furrowed; Hisoka wagered she was having quite the frustrating dream. Or maybe she was still reeling from the pain and her body was trying to fight to awaken.

_“I wanted to say thank you.”_

“Thank me? I assure you, it was not for your benefit.” Hisoka leaned in with a dismissive smirk; the memory was just too much. “And if that wasn't bad enough, you’re still too weak.”

The heart monitor was beeping a bit more slowly than before; Hisoka looked at it. He hadn’t the faintest idea how they worked, but he was sure a slowed heart rate wasn’t a good sign. He looked back at Mindy, whose facial expression seemed almost too relaxed; her body seemed to actually sink further in the mattress. Hisoka poked one of her pale cheeks.

 _“They usually look a bit pink...makeup? No, she doesn't like it."_ Hisoka chuckled. _“She’s just easily over exerted. If she lost some more weight she wouldn’t get so winded from just going up the stairs.”_

Time was ticking away and nothing was happening; Hisoka sighed and rested his chin in one hand, drumming his fingernails on the edge of the bed. She should know it was time to get up already; how much longer would she take?

_“I’ll give you everything I’ve got.”_

Hisoka scoffed. “Well, it wasn’t much. You left me disappointingly unsatisfied; next time, could you at least learn to pay attention to your surroundings? Your senses are keen enough to register my nen, but not if you’re too busy trying to knock me out.”

Still, no reply.

“All that power won’t help you if you can’t take full advantage of all your resources.” Hisoka chided out loud; not that Mindy could hear him. The machine’s beeping had started to resume its regular rhythm. “Oh my, did you just escape death my dear? Good, I’m not quite done with you. Not yet anyway.”

Hisoka yawned more deeply and scratched his cheek. “I’m not going to wait around forever; I have other prey I still need to see to.”

_“Hisoka….you’re amazing.”_

 

  
  
_“Hisoka….”_

 

  
  
_“Hisoka...”_

 

  
  
_“Hisoka.”_

 

_“Hi-”_

“Do you ever shut up? You just blurt out half of the things you say; you sound pathetic.” Hisoka frowned down at the bed. “Don’t look at me that way again or I’ll really show you who’s the weaker of us. You need to understand exactly what you are.”

Although it sounded as if she was speaking in his ear this whole time, that wasn’t the case. Perhaps boredom was a catalyst for delusions. Mindy was still laying in bed, wheezing slightly and not looking as if she would wake up anytime soon. Hisoka turned to look at the clock hanging overhead; he had been there for two hours now. About an hour of talking to himself and her, despite nobody being able to say anything back.

“What am I still doing here?”

He stood up and coughed into his hand; a bouquet of daisies popped out and he threw them on the table.

“Sorry, but this is where I take my leave. Call me when you’re up to snuff~”

Hisoka unlocked the door and made the key card disappear. There wasn’t any need to cause suspicion. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with any nuisances at the moment; but before he could put more than one foot outside, the heart rate monitor’s beeping had picked up it’s pace.

“Hi...soka…”

The door slammed shut.

“I said to shut up.”

Hisoka grabbed Mindy’s neck, tightening his fingers around her windpipe.

“H-!”  she gasped softly, a trail of spit running down the side of her mouth as she twitched in his grasp.

“Shut up.”

The heart monitor was slowing down and her breathing was falling to critical levels; she couldn’t breathe. Hisoka released her with a hollow smile; Mindy coughed weakly before falling unconscious once more.

“Don’t ruin a good thing.”

The nurses and one of the doctors burst into the room, practically breaking down the door as they swarmed around Mindy.

No one else was there.


	18. Reconciliation

When I finally woke up, I assumed it must have been the middle of the night. Everything was pitch dark, except for the light from my heart monitor; a small lamp by my bed side had been turned off. 

_“I’m alive then…”_

Despite how tired and sore I still felt, I smiled.

And then I remembered the last five minutes of my conscious memories.

“That…” I gripped the sheets and tried to yank myself up in one move, but I flopped right back down, already tender skull narrowly missing the headboard.

“Dammit!” I cursed, hacking to clear my throat; my whole neck actually felt sore. Groping around in the dark, my vision adjusted somewhat enough to see a cup of water placed on a coaster. _“God forbid they get a water stain on their table…”_

I frowned grumpily as I swallowed down the whole drink in three gulps; some of it dripped down my neck and got my collar wet.

 _“Great.”_ The water didn’t do much to help anyway.

There weren’t any napkins as far as I could see; not that I could see very far. Now that I thought about it, it definitely must have been night time; there were blinds covering the window, but not even a hint of sunlight was peeking out. On top of everything else, I realized I had no idea how long I had been in the hospital.

“Hello?” I tried to call out to anyone that may have been outside, but my voice was barely audible even to myself. I surveyed the room and tried to see where the door was; only a crack of light was shining by the floor opposite of my bed. In that case, some staff must still be up.

“Hello!” I coughed, but there was still no reply; I groaned and turned on my side that wasn’t dully throbbing. “What the…?”

Daisies; my favorite white daisies with perky, bright yellow centers. I took them gently from the nightstand and looked them over, but there wasn’t a card.

_“Did the hospital give them to me? That’s nice. Maybe they thought I was a goner too…”_

I began picking each petal from the centers with care.

_“Yes, no...yes, no...yes, no…”_

I wondered; should I legitimately try to kill Hisoka? It sounded a bit extreme really; and unlike him, a Hunter, I'd be charged of homicide.

_“Geez, I hate to be a cliche….like those kind of scenes where the guy kisses the girl by accident and she whacks him on the head with a huge paper fan over and over.”_

I stared off into space, fingering the leftover petals. _“Wait, I don’t even have a fan...and he’d probably just dodge...would Onna let me borrow her shinai? No, come on Mindy, you know damn well violence isn’t the answer.”_

Then again, the kiss wasn’t some hilarious accident; it was on purpose.

_“Don’t think about it...asshole, he thinks he humiliated me. No, no, stop thinking about…...dammit, I bet he had a big fuckin’ laugh over it!”_

“Oops.” I held the crushed bouquet in my hands. _“Oh no...it was so nice of them to get these too. Well, I’d feel bad bothering them now; I’ll just go back to sleep.”_

I wished the doctor would come in soon; I had the biggest urge to brush my teeth.

 

 

  
  


 

 

“Are you awake yet?”

“OW!” I jumped up at the prick on my shoulder. “The hell?!”

“Miss, you shouldn’t do that!”

“She’s in stable condition, is she not?” Onna shouldered her shinai. “Besides, I thought if a person has a concussion, they’re not supposed to fall asleep or they’ll slip into a coma.”

The nurse made me lie back down gently. “Mindy passed out due to blood loss and overexertion of her nen. She doesn’t even have a concussion; and she’s been out for a week and I didn’t see you stabbing her then!”

“Why are you yelling?” Onna drawled. “We’re in a hospital; I should think staff would show more sense.”

“....I’m going to get the doctor.”

I winced as they shut the door. “Onna, how long did she say I was out?”

“A week about.”

“You’re kidding?!”

“No.”

I rose up slightly and watched Onna; she seemed so rigid, even for her.

“Hey Onna, have you been here long?”

“No. I just came today.” 

“How did you know I was passed out for a week?”

“The nurse just said so.”

“Oh yeah.” I laughed; she had the resistance to keep from rolling her eyes.

“Lunch time! You must be hungry after being on just life support for a week.” A different nurse came in this time, apron tied around his head over his scrubs; a really cute nurse rolling in a plate of steaming beef. I could get used to this.

“Wow!” I gasped and immediately picked up the fork. “Even the hospital food is awesome!”

“Oh, your friend brought this in for us to cook once you got up.” he laughed brightly and handed me a napkin. “She said you’d need protein to-”

“Where is the doctor?” Onna asked suddenly.

“Oh yes, I should let him know you’re up.” he waved at me. “Please stay in bed and finish your meal.”

I watched in mild disappointment as the man left. “But that other nurse was already getting him! Onna, did you see how fine that guys was?!”

“Not only are you a glutton, but you’re shameless to boot.” Onna whacked me over the head with her shinai.

“Hey, I’m already injured ‘cause of that damn thing!” I whined and tried to slap it away. “That and-”

I fell silent and Onna's glare softened. “Just eat your food. Don’t think about him now.”

“H-how did you know?”

“You’re pretty easy to read. Most of the time anyway.” Onna smirked lightly. “I must say, it was satisfying to see you knock him out of the ring. Ah,” Onna looked away almost apologetically as I glared down at the sheets. “But let’s not discuss that.”

“Onna...thanks for listening earlier.”

“I don’t know why you’re thanking me. You were the one who just started talking; it would have been rude to cut you off.”

“Ruder than beating the shit out of an invalid?”

“You’re stronger than you think you are.”

I stared in faint wonder as she raised her hand above my head; after a second, I felt Onna pat my hair with a jerky motion.

“I need to leave now; I have a match of my own to get ready for.” Onna sheathed her shinai and turned away swiftly. “Rest up; I suppose you’ll be wanting to leave soon?”

“Yeah...I gotta start looking for a new place to live now that I can afford it.” I smiled up at her. “Thanks for the food. I guess I owe you a rematch at some point huh?”

“I’ll look forward to it.” Onna wrinkled her nose. “Also, request a shower before you leave. You smell.”

“Whore.”

“Skunk.”

“Asshole.”

“Cow.”

“Bitch.”

“Bitch.”

“I already said that!”

Onna gave me a little smirk. “Doesn’t make it less true.”

I had to laugh, but the action made me double over and cough roughly once more.

“Oh wow, my throat feels awful…”

Onna eyes narrowed. _“There’s bruises....”_

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked her.

“Mindy, I want to tell you a secret.”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Most people are unable to tell what type of nen user I am; they can’t understand what they can’t witness themselves. But despite my use of zetsu and my technique, you were able to. Very few have been able to sense it so well, because this technique has been passed down from one successor to another., perfected and-”

 _"_ Aw, Onna.” I smiled cheekily. "So I guess that means I'm special?"

“I am not paying you a compliment. I’m simply trying to tell you I lied; there’s no point in hiding the truth from you anymore, you can fight it anyway.” Onna said. “My specialty is actually conjuring; that’s how I was able to make the blade to my shinai from my nen.”

“Ooooh, cool!” I exclaimed. “Thanks for telling me, I promise I won’t tell anyone else.”

“I know.” Onna replied. “Goodbye Mindy. I’m...glad I feel secure in your promise.”  
  


 

 

 

  
  


 

 

 

“Mindy?”

Zushi poked his head through the door; I was in the middle of eating and felt what was digesting in my stomach flip around as both him and Wing stepped inside my room. I put down my fork and pushed the food away, not sure where to look.

“Hey.”

“How are you feeling?” It was Wing that asked first.

“I’m doing okay. They’re going to release me tonight.”

“That was amazing!” Zushi blurted out; I looked at him in confusion. “Your match! I can’t believe that move! And you were so fast, and-and I’ve never seen anyone destroy the arena like that! They had to reschedule other matches to get it repaired!”

I cringed. “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it…”

“I’m sorry.”

Both me and Zushi stared as Wing bowed at the waist.

“You fought hard. I...I wasn’t a very good teacher it seems.” Wing offered me a half smile. “If I had prepared you better, you might not be stuck here.”

“No, it’s not your fault! I was so...I wanted to win so bad, I wasn’t thinking.” I confessed. “And besides, you shouldn’t feel responsible for my screw ups.”

“You didn’t screw up!” Zushi said in disbelief. “That power was incredible; if you had just had been able to see when Hisoka caught you, you might have won! A ton of people were freaking out thinking they’d lose money.”

“Huh?”

“Hisoka always wins when he shows up to a match; a lot of people bet money on him.” Zushi explained. “It’s not exactly against the rules, but it’s kind of cheating. Hisoka winning has always been a sure thing, except last week…”

“So...you guys are okay with me...being around and stuff?” I inwardly recoiled; I sounded so childish, but how else is a person supposed to ask something like that without sounding like a needy kid?

“Mindy, forgive me for making you feel as if I didn’t enjoy teaching or meeting you.” Wing sat down on my bed with a sigh. “You’re a good person; probably a much better person than you think."

"I..." I ducked my head; I wasn't sure how to react to such a sincere compliment. Wing ignored my stammering and continued.

"It’s been a pleasure. I’m sorry I didn’t act like it.”

“Yeah, we like you.” Zushi added. “And if you ever decide to come back here for training, we should spar! I’ll never get stronger if I can’t challenge myself more.”

I sniffed, keeping my head down stubbornly. “Thanks guys.”

“Hey, by the way, you really smell funny.” Zushi pointed out. “Are they going to let you take a bath before you leave?”

“Zushi, would you mind taking these back to Mindy’s room? If she’s leaving tonight, she won’t be needing them.”

“Okay Master Wing.”

“Sorry about that.” Wing sighed and rubbed the back of his neck when Zushi went off dutifully.

“Eh, it’s okay, at least he’s just a kid.” I grumbled halfheartedly. “Wing...I really did mess up though. I could have sensed it; Hisoka’s aura, his technique. If I had just paid a little bit of attention-!”

“Stop. You did the best you could; in truth, it was incredibly unlikely you’d even do as well as you did. Even if you could see it, once Hisoka makes contact with you, he can attach his nen anytime, unless you're fast enough to avoid him. What's more, you maxed out your aura power.”

“Yeah, I know, but,” I felt my face screw up in frustration. “God that fuckin’ bastard. Dammit, why did he have to-? Ugh!” I held my head in my hands. “He just had to rub it in. It was bad enough I had lost and I was crying like a baby.”

“Try to forget about that.” Wing said sternly as he took my hands. “You should be focusing on your health; have you been practicing the technique I showed you to enhance your healing?”

“Uh...no, sorry. I was too busy with strength training.” I confessed sheepishly. “I wasn’t even thinking about it…”

“I’m sorry. I’ve had many students before, but, ah.” Wing tried to search for the right words. “I don’t know how to put this...I haven’t taught a girl before. Oddly enough, my own mentor was a woman; in fact, she was….Spartan like.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to treat me very delicately or anything; I just feel glad knowing you believe in me.”

“Are you in any pain now?”

I looked down; my throat was still aching, even though the rest of me didn't feel in that bad of shape. “Yeah a bit, but it’s not so bad.”

“Here.”

One of Wing’s hands let go of mine; he pushed back my bangs and pressed a chaste kiss to my forehead.

“Wing?” I stiffened and gasped in discomfort; the wound on my side was feeling strange. My neck had ceased to feel sore and my head had stopped it’s dull pounding. I felt my slight embarrassment melt away as I drew up in bed. “What was that?”

“I sort of transferred some of my energy to you. How do you feel?”

I sat up straight; there was barely any pain in my side. “Oh wow...I’ve gotta learn how to do that.”

“I guess it’s a good thing you’re being taught by a fellow enhancer.” Wing smiled. “Try to get some more sleep after you eat.”

“Thanks, I’ll stop by to see you guys before I get going.” I waved as he left; once he was out of sight, I fell back on the mattress and laughed to myself.

_“I’m so glad...I thought I’d have to leave before getting to say goodbye.”_

 

**Third Person POV:**

“That was just precious.” Hisoka drawled, leaning against the wall by the elevator near the hospital entrance.

Wing stopped and pressed the down button, but remained silent.

“Hey, how about we play a new game?”

“I don’t have time for games at the moment.”

“No? You seem to have plenty of time to make passes at your student.”

“Don’t speak about her that way.”

“Scary.”

Wing pressed the down button. “Mindy is still resting. I doubt she wants to see you.”

“I wasn’t going to visit.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

“That’s my little secret~!” Hisoka put a finger to his lips. “Bye, bye now.”

“Hey!”

“Oh, I lied by the way.”

The elevator was sent plummeting down as soon as Wing stepped inside; Hisoka walked to the hospital entrance.

“Good morning, I’m here to visit Mindy?”

“Good morning!” the receptionist said cheerfully; it was her professionalism that kept her from shivering and making a face once Hisoka stepped in front of her desk. “She’s in….room A662. It’s down that hall, last door on the left.”

“Thank you very much.”

Hisoka smiled and let himself in; the door was unlocked this time of day. The room looked much more perky and clean than he remembered; a frown crossed his lips as he caught sight of dozens of crumpled, torn up, and withered daisies in the trash.

“What are you doing here?”

“Ah, you’re awake now. Are you allergic to daisies?” Hisoka nodded to the trash can.

Mindy’s face grew pink. “I, uh, I accidentally killed ‘em.”

“I see.”

“Hisoka, I don’t want to see you right now.”

“Why? I only came to check on you.”

Mindy sent him a dull look. “You humiliated me.”

“Isn’t that a bit of an overstatement?” Hisoka sat crossed legged on the visitors chair. “I won, but you put up a good fight, right?”

“You know what I’m talking about!”

Hisoka blinked slowly. “What?”

“That-!” Mindy looked at the door and listened to make sure no one was eavesdropping. “That...kiss thing.”

“What about it?”

“Don’t fuck with me.”

Hisoka smiled so widely it almost looked painful; her tone was absolutely chilling. “Mindy-”

“No, no more bullshit. You did that to mess with me. It was a way for you to show just how...how pathetic I was.” Mindy breathed in and out harshly and glowered down at the sheets. “Dammit, wasn’t it enough I lost? You proved to everyone just how out of my league you are.” she swallowed back the lump in her throat. “You got me; why do you have to rub it in?”

“You thought I was teasing you?”

“No, I thought you were in love with me.” she ground out sardonically.

"Maybe I am."

"Psssh., please."

“Are you angry?”

“That’s one word for it.” Mindy hung her head and felt her jaw clench involuntarily as she tried to control her shaking. “I’m pissed. I’m frustrated and I feel like, like shit.”

Hisoka’s smile turned thin.

“It was for nothing. I’m the same. I worked hard, I made progress, I have friends again,  but...it doesn’t feel right.”

Hiska cocked his head and made a sound of impatience. “So that’s really what this is about.”

“Plus you’re an asshole.”

“So you’ve mentioned.” Hisoka snapped his fingers suddenly. “Mindy, I have a great idea.”

“Is it leaving?”

Hisoka wordlessly produced a deck of cards out of thin air; Mindy eyed them warily.

“Wait, you’re gonna cut me up?!”

“No, nothing that exciting.” Hisoka simpered. “How about we play a game?”


	19. Pick a Card, Any Card

Passing through that neighborhood was a whim.

Seeing her running past him with a look of anxiety in her eyes was a coincidence.

Being able to sense the potency of her aura was lucky; Hisoka used zetsu to trail after Mindy, under the impression she was a nen user.

 _“No, if she was, she would have taken care of those thugs herself.”_ Hisoka recalled as he shuffled his cards; Mindy stared at him impatiently.

“Hold on,” she had taken a good look at the blurred deck as the cards moved back and forth between his hands. “Tarot cards?  
“You’re familiar with them?”

“Sort of. This lady used to use them to make some money on my street. But what kind of game can you play with those?”

“Wouldn’t you say life is one big game of chance or fate? Many would agree fortune telling is like using a cheat code.”

“But they’re just cards. They can’t really predict anything.” Mindy said in exasperation; she decided to play along for now, anything to get him on his way out faster.

“Now, each card will represent something different and each card will have a specific meaning.”

“Huh?”

“The first card will represent how you feel about yourself. The second, what you want the most, the third is what you fear.” Hisoka flipped a card in his hand playfully. “The fourth is what is working for you and the fifth is what hinders you.”

“Okay, so what’s the last one?”

“The outcome.” Hisoka laid out the cards in a straight line. “Pick six.”

Mindy pursed her lips in concentration as she picked out her cards; she handed them to Hisoka feeling a bit skeptical. After all, what could some pieces of paper really tell her? No doubt they’d all be vaguely fitting, or maybe one or two would hit the mark. It was just chance.

“Okay, the first is the Hermit, who signifies that you’re going through a time where you need rest; you’re also coping with feelings of loneliness. How cute.”

“Get on with it.”

“The second is what you want: the World.”

“The world?” Mindy looked slightly bewildered. “I don’t want the world; maybe some more of that meat, but…”

“It means you want your hard work to give you success in your goals; that brings us to your fear, Strength.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

Hisoka smiled. “It’s quite fitting if you ask me. It means you’re afraid that you will lack the will to deal with something or someone who concerns you. Now, you do have the Chariot going for you; this means your drive will aid you in your journey.”

“Not giving up when I should have is what screwed me over.”

“Your will is admirable.”

“Hisoka, stop messing-”

“It’s the truth.” Hisoka continued before Mindy could say any more. “You are weak in many senses of the word; but the look in your eyes that day….if I was a lesser man, that strength would have nearly brought me to my knees alone.”

 _“He...admires me?_ _”_ Mindy was flattered, yet she also felt a bit disturbed. “Thanks, but do you have to say it like that?”

Hisoka bared his teeth. “Like what?”

“Nevermind.” Mindy averted her gaze to the second to last card. “So, what’s going against me?”

“The High Priestess.”

“The bitch.”

“She represents your feelings of insecurity.” Hisoka laughed under his breath. “And your outcome is...the Magician, which means a good omen of success and good potential.”

“Magician, huh?”

“Yes, indeed~”

Mindy raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know about all that...but I admit, it was pretty close.”

“See?” Hisoka reshuffled his deck.

“Well?”

Hisoka paused. “So what?”

“Come on, ya gotta do it yourself now.” Mindy said. “Let’s see what you get!”

“ _This is the first time she’s looked lively since I got here.”_

Hisoka lined up his deck and picked out six cards; Mindy leaned in to get a better look. The cards had been oddly specific, despite her lingering doubts. She was actually a bit excited to see what Hisoka would get.

“Let’s see...the outcome-”

“Hey, you’re going backwards.”

“So?”

“Spoiler alert.”

“It’s my fortune.”

Mindy blushed. “Oh, whatever.”

“The outcome,” Hisoka winked. “The Hangman.”

“What?! What the fuck does that mean?!”

“It means the outcome is involved in uncertainty; I may have to give up something or someone.”

“Oh...I thought it meant you’d be hanged…”

“These cards aren’t literal you know. But your concern is touching~”

“Just read the next one.” Mindy sat back and sighed.

“The Empress is going against me; oh dear, what have I done to anger her?”  
“What does it mean though?”

“Internal conflictions are working against me; on a brighter note, Death is working to my advantage.”

“......”

“It symbolizes a time of new beginnings and a transformation; some say death is just the beginning of something better, much like a butterfly coming out of it’s cocoon.”

“Alright, alright. So what’s your fear?”

“Hoping to find out my weakness? According to this card, it’s Temperance.”

Mindy put a finger to her chin in thought. “Doesn’t temperance mean...abstinence from alcohol?”

“In this case it means your peace is being threatened, possibly by a rival.” Hisoka frowned. “My, my, what’s next?”

Mindy scratched her side. “A rival huh? That could be anyone; well, anyone you haven’t already just killed in a fight…so what do you want?”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Yeah, tell me what it says already.” Mindy said demandingly. “Geez, you’re going so slow, are you trying to draw it out on purpose?”

“It says the Devil.”

“...okay.”

Hisoka frowned wryly. “Mindy, please refrain from snap judgements. It means I want something that is the equivalent of a forbidden fruit.”

“Hm...like...? Eh, I got nothing.”

“Haven’t you ever wanted something that was taboo?” Hisoka smiled slyly.

“Oh yeah, sure. I can’t buy pig snouts without getting funny looks, but they’re cheap and they taste great if you boil them and bake them in barbecue sauce.”

“You have no imagination.”

“I’m imagining slapping you upside the head. Does that count?”

“Oh Mindy, you make me laugh.” Hisoka flipped the last card (technically the first, but who was really keeping track?)

Mindy took the cards from his hand herself and looked at it. “The High Priestess is what you feel about yourself? That explains a lot…”

“It means different things for men and women; say you picked this, it would signify your awareness of your feminine charms and intuition.”

“And for a guy?”

“It represents my feelings for a woman I care for.” Hisoka took the other end of the card. “A woman who inspires me.”

“Like your mom?”

“Yes. My mom.”

“Aw, that’s actually pretty nice.” Mindy gave him a half smile. “I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, but….what was your mom like?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been asked that before.” Hisoka rubbed his chin. “Well, I suppose a tidbit is in order. She taught me to do card tricks.”

“Oh, can you do that trick where I pick a card and you try to get it from your deck?”

Hisoka reshuffled his deck. “Okay, pick a card.”

Mindy blinked and picked one at the farthest end.

“Now don’t show it to me.”

“Hey, it’s one from a regular playing card deck!” Mindy gasped and slipped it back into Hisoka’s hand; he made a bridge with them and then reached out his arms. The cards practically flew from one hand to another, and Mindy found herself transfixed by the display. As the cards landed neatly in his right hand, Hisoka pulled out one with his left.

“Is this your card?”

“Oh. my. God!” Mindy squealed and swiped it from Hisoka’s hand. “Holy shit, that’s so cool! How did you do that?!”

“A magician never reveals his secrets.” Hisoka winked and took back the card; his hands moved over the bottom and top, and when they uncovered the cards, a bouquet of daisies bloomed from one fist. “For you.”

Mindy didn’t reach out for them. “You left them here last night.”

Hisoka nodded; he awaited her heartfelt apology for desecrating his previous gift with a smile.

“You were the one who left the bruises on my neck weren’t you?” Mindy’s voice trembled as she stared transfixed at the flowers. “You….you tried to kill me in my sleep.”

Hisoka lowered the bouquet. “I did not.”

“You did! Stop this, stop lying!” Mindy grabbed the flowers and threw them at the opposite wall. “God, what the hell is wrong with you? Why are you doing this to me, pretending to be nice and then you, then you try to-”

A hoarse sob left the words unspoken; Mindy curled up on the opposite end of the bed and glared through her tears.

“Just leave dammit, I’m tired of this!”

“Honey, don’t you think you’re being a bit over dramatic? This is simply a misunderstanding; you really should think more carefully before you speak." Hisoka chortled and made a move to reach out to her. “What, are you afraid of-?”

**“Leave me alone you sick fucking psycho!”**

The assistance button was pressed over and over by trembling fingers. Hisoka rose slowly from his seat, cheek still irritated and red from where Mindy had scratched his face; she watched him from a distance, aura now encasing her body almost in a protective shell, though there was really no need. A nurse had already rushed in the room with a stained apron.

“Miss, what’s wrong?” he went to Mindy’s side and sat next to her; she was full blown crying now, snot and tears running down her face as she buried her head in a pillow.

_“Even now, terrified out of your mind, you’re too prideful to let people see you cry? How like you.”_

“Miss, please calm down.” the nurse said gently as he called for back up and stroked Mindy’s hair; Hisoka’s eyes lingered on how easily the fingers seemed to move through thick chunks of dark locks.

Then he felt enraged.

“Sir, would you please leave? We may need to sedate her or give her some medication.” the nurse looked up beseechingly; with a stiff nod, Hisoka left the room just as three other staff members frantically went inside.

 _“What would they all look like as bloodstains?”_ Hisoka wondered idly. _“I don’t know why they’re causing such a fuss. Mindy is tired and it was all just a misunderstanding. She just needs sometime to rest up and think about what I said.”_

Hisoka chuckled to himself.

_“The show is over, but the grand finale hasn’t even started yet.”_


	20. Uncertainty

The next morning my bags were packed; I took one last look around my suite. I knew part of me would miss it.

I threw my bag over my shoulders and gave back my key card on the way out; the girl at the front desk nearly dropped it once she looked up from her paperwork.

“Oh, you’re the bruiser!”

I gave her a quick smile. “Hi.”

“I saw your match the other week! I’ve never seen anything like it.” she gushed; I rocked back and forth on my feet, looking around continuously while she chattered away.

“Thank you, I tried my best….I have to meet up with my friends, goodbye!” I smiled cheerfully and sped out of the front entrance before she could say another word; it felt a bit mean to cut her off, but the last thing I wanted was to stick around Heaven’s Arena for much longer.

 _“What’s the point? Someone like him can probably track me down.”_ I took a shaky breath and walked faster, jostling people aside on my way to Wing’s home. Even when I arrived, I couldn’t bring myself to relax entirely; it's not like I was safe there. No one could protect me.

“Mindy’s here!” Zushi called out as soon as I stepped inside; he turned back to me, leading me to the living room. “So, is that all you have?”

I clutched the straps of my bag and nodded. “Just on me; I hired a moving company to get the furniture and some other things from my old place. You know, my new place isn’t that far from here.”

Zushi smiled. “That’s good; once you settled in, you’ve got to visit, okay?”

I smiled vaguely. “Sure thing.”

“Hello, I hope you’re not in a hurry.” Wing joined us.

“No, I don’t have a whole lot of things to move in.” I assured him.

“I know you said you wanted to find a job after all of this; do you have any options?”

“Well, I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you guys about something.” I held my hands in my lap. “Look, I know I still have a lot to learn...but I already know nen. I was thinking of taking the Hunter exam this year. A lot of the contestants don’t even know it, right?”

“Well, most don’t learn it until after the official exam, but-”

“I really think I can pass.” I said quickly, but with as much certainty as I could muster. “But I wanted to ask for your advice first; you and Zushi know about it more, and to be honest I’m not even that sure what kind of Hunter I want to be. I was thinking a Trouble Hunter…”

Wing and Zushi stared at me curiously, a silent prompt for me to elaborate.

“I’d like to help people...I always wanted to be a social worker or maybe a counselor, and if I can get this license, just imagine all the good I can do. I can go all over the world and help solve conflicts; there’s so much shit people have to deal with, if I could just-” My smile fell as they continued to stare at me blankly. “Sorry, I’m getting off track; first things first, I need to know," I sat up straight and looked my teacher in the eye. “Wing, do you think I can do it?”

“I think that’s my cue.”

Wing stepped aside as an old man came walking out of the kitchen.

“Oh, um hello.” I waved lamely. _“Who’s this guy? Wait, how much did he hear?!”_

“Mindy, this is Isaac Netero, a member of the Hunters Association. He was previously a proctor of the Hunter examination.” Wing told me with a small smile. “You see, your power already exceeds many of the applicants for the tests, and after seeing your fight with Hisoka, he-”

“Hello, is this her? It’s a pleasure to finally meet you in person.” Netero walked past Wing and extended his hand; I nearly gasped at how strong his grip was. “Is this really Mindy? Oh, I can already sense your nen, nervous are you? No need, I won't bite. You’ve done quite a good job so far haven’t you? Very impressive, I’m also an enhancer you know.”

“Oh, cool.” I smiled nervously and bowed my head; I was barely processing half of what he said. “It’s nice to meet you too Mr. Netero; if it wasn’t for Wing and Zushi, I wouldn’t have made it this far.”

“I must say, for someone who uses such foul language, you’re more polite than I expected. I can see you train hard; despite your pudge, your arms look pretty solid! Yes, you must work very hard.” Netero pulled a black booklet from his robe before I could get a word out. “Oh, and here’s your license. I’ve seen enough for myself; you qualify as much as one can.”

I put a hand to my mouth. “Are you really serious? I don’t have to take the exam?!”

“You’ve already proven you’ve got what it takes, not to mention you got a good word put in for you; all you have left to do is finding out where you want this to take you.” Netero gently slid the booklet in my hands with a teasing grin. “Now don’t lose this, ‘cause you won’t get a replacement. The rules and guidelines are in here, so look them over once you get the time. Congratulations.”

“Oh my….Mr. Netero, I-” I laughed softly and hugged the booklet to my chest. “I...thank you! I’ll work hard. I’ll make sure I deserve this.”

Zushi’s mouth fell open as he beamed incredulously; it was clear he had no prior knowledge of this. “Mindy….you’re a Hunter!”

Netero nodded. “I known I made the right choice. Wing spoke very highly of you.” he turned back to Wing. “She’s much cuter than you said she was.”

“Mindy, this is-now you can travel practically anywhere you want!” Zushi stared as I pulled out the card.

“You can use 95% of public facilities at no cost.” Netero added with a knowing smile.

“You get first class too!” Zushi piped up as he pulled my arm down to get a better look.

“I didn’t say she was cute!”

We turned to Wing, who looked somewhat ill as he put a hand to his face.

“I… that’s not to say I-”

“Well, the way you described her sounded complimentary.” Netero shrugged.

“I only described her at your request Master Netero....” Wing’s voice held an unmistakable note of mortification.

“Uh, Mr. Netero...where did you guys get this picture of me?” I asked awkwardly.

“Your ID.”

I looked down at it sadly. “Ugh...well, I’m recognizable at least.”

“What’s wrong?” Zushi looked over once more.

“Nothing, but my hair was so much shorter then….I looked like a guy.” I sighed and toyed with the card.

“Oh, you can get the picture redone in one year.” Wing said kindly. “You look fine.”

“Fine? Is that all?” Netero asked loudly.

“Master, please…”

 

  
  


 

Netero left shortly afterward; he actually seemed in a hurry. I felt all the more flattered he would take the time to personally hand me my license. I myself spent the rest of the day at Wing’s house; Zushi was showing me his perfected gyo technique and talking about new moves he’d like to create with his hatsu.

 _“It’s really mine.”_ I turned the card over in my hands; Zushi had just got done with training, but he was already dozing on the couch, head leaning on my shoulder. _“I wonder where I should keep it?”_

“Mindy, could you help me over here?”

“Yeah sure.” I whispered and gently moved Zushi’s to the other end of the couch before going into the kitchen. “Need help cleaning?”

“No.” Wing said with a bashful smile. “Mindy...I’m sorry, I really haven’t been that good of a teacher. It’s not normally my style to be so…”

“Aw, come on, no more apologizing. You’re a good teacher. I was the one who wasn’t listening. And despite the, uh, circumstances,” I grimaced lightly. “I’m glad.”

“I’m not usually so invested in my student’s personal lives and goals; my duty is to teach them the skills. What they decide to use them for is entirely up to them; I don’t make it a point to get involved in other facets, but in spite of that, I pushed you to be more careful and was overly harsh when you seemed in over your head.” Wing adjusted his glasses. “You’re a good person; I’d hate to see you unhappy.”

I looked away. “I’m really not that good of a person. I just try to not screw up most of the time.”

“You care about other people; you’re willing to look at a person past their flaws and accept them without judgement. You work hard; you’ve managed to get people to look at you and admire you, not just for your power, but for the kind of person you are.”

“Maybe it’s easy for me to accept other people’s flaws because I can see all of the flaws I have.” I smiled wryly. “I’m no better than most people; I can be just as scared, or angry, or irrational, or insensitive. I just try to take a step back and really evaluate myself beforehand.” I sighed and leaned against the counter. “I think I made a mistake Wing. I thought Hisoka...I didn’t think he liked me exactly, but…”

Wing's eyebrows shot up. “What did he do?”

“When I woke up, Onna was the first to see me; she was looking at my neck funny, and after she left, I...I looked at it in a mirror. There were bruises, like someone tried to choke me.” I said very softly so Zushi wouldn’t hear if he woke up. “Then there were these flowers. I thought they hospital put them there, but then Hisoka came by earlier and did some trick where he made them, and…” 

"Go on." Wing's voice was placidly cold.

“Wing, he tried to kill me in my sleep. I wasn’t even awake to fight him, but he still wanted me dead. He didn’t try anything when I was awake, but,” I gulped back a dry lump in my throat. “I need to get the fuck out of here. I don’t know why he’d-does he hate me? Is he going to try to hunt me down or something?”

“Mindy, I’m sorry. I don’t know, but this doesn’t seem right.”

“Well yeah, a homicidal psycho wants to choke me and leave daisies on my dead body.”

“No, I mean,” Wing sat back down and looked thoughtful. “Hisoka is very unpredictable, but he has his own way of doing things all the same. He finds it extremely tedious to kill people he deems as weak; he only proactively searches out those who he sees potential in. To attack you when you aren’t even conscious and when he was planning to fight you? For him, that’d be the ultimate waste of time.” he sighed wearily. “In any sense, it’s uncharacteristic of how he thinks. Are you certain it was him?”

“Yes, he didn’t deny it when I confronted him.” I said. “Who else could it have been?”

“Mindy...take this.” Wing pulled a slip of paper from his pocket. “I may not be able to protect you alone, but call me if something comes up. I can contact the Hunter Association. Please, don’t feel like you’re alone in this.”

I took the paper with a grateful smile. “Thank you Wing. I should go before it gets dark. I’ll stop by the next chance I get.”

Wing saw me out; I felt a bit more secure as I took one last walk through the neighborhood. How many times had I come through here to train or talk with them? How many times would I do so in the future?

 _“Hopefully a lot, if I don’t get fucking killed first.”_ I put the paper securely in my Hunter license booklet; so much was happening all at once. My mind was still having a time sorting it all out.

_“If Hisoka wants me dead, he won’t give me a chance to make a phone call. How do I think I'm gonna help people if I can''t even help myself? What will I do if he finds me? Will he come after me, or does he not care now? Why is he-?”_

I walked faster, gripping my license tightly.

_“....I don’t know what to do.”_


	21. Starting a New Life

“Hey, did you get any of that?”

I nodded. “You mean about the whole self fulfilling prophecy thing?”

My class mate nodded back quickly; maybe a bit too quickly. “Yeah, I sort of zoned out. I guess I should be more embarrassed.”

“No you shouldn’t.” I stood up and began to pack away my notes in a thick folder. “Shit, we can’t remember every little theory that gets brought up.”

“Yeah, but this is borderline high school level stuff; not to mention, I’m halfway through my first year here and can barely remember the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist.”

“Well, don’t beat yourself up. It’s like the self fulfilling prophecy theory says, your mindset can affect the outcome.” I told him.

“Yeah, that's it!” he nodded with a grin.

“That’s not exactly a good thing…”

“Yeah, but I mean if I can relate the material with my own life, it’s easier for me to remember what it means.” 

“That’s a good strategy.” I complimented him; we had been paired up for a mid term review trivia game and the whole time he was too nervous to even raise his hand. Now that I thought about it, I had never actually spoken to him directly before that day. Now he seemed so sociable.

“You know, it’s not like you’re stupid or anything. Lots of people need to relate what they learn with real life problems. Hell, psychology is something that affects us everyday.”

“Yeah, but if I was able to learn from the lecture like you, I’d have an easier time on this test.” he sighed and picked up his own backpack; some other people were coming in for the next class already. “Mindy, I was wondering...would you mind helping me study? I can treat you to a coffee or something.”

“Eh, I hate coffee.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s fine…”

“I’d still be okay helping you out though!” I said hurriedly. “Reviewing the material beforehand might help us both. A coffee place sounds good. I’ll just order hot chocolate or something.”

“Hot chocolate? What are you, ten?”

“Who the fuck doesn’t like chocolate?” I stuck out my tongue. “Besides, some of that coffee shit is just as sweet.”

“Yeah, but you don’t get the same caffeine buzz. How do you even stay awake for this class?”

I chuckled. “I’m an early riser anyway; why’d you take a class that starts early?”

He shrugged. “Yeah, this is a required class and this was the only time slot for me. So, are you free now maybe? I don’t have anything else for today.”

“Sure, I don’t have anything else either.” I nodded. “Actually, would you like to go to the cafe I work at?”

“You work in a cafe?” he snorted. “A girl who hates coffee?”

“I wanted to make the extra money.” I rolled my eyes. “Not to mention, if we go, I can get a discount for us.”

“Yeah, I’m in!”

I stopped and smiled bashfully. “Sorry, I just realized; I forgot your name.”

“Yeah? We’ve been in the same class for half a year.”

“I’ve been paying attention to the lectures.” I shrugged.

“Yeah, yeah.” he said. “Well, my name’s Aro.”

“Alright then; my work isn’t far from here.” I told him as we made our way outside the campus building. “It’s just past that place that sells used textbooks.”

“Yeah, more like demolished books…”

A year of college and I realized this was the first time I had really talked to one of my classmates; I only knew a little about Aro, including the fact I completely forgot his name right after hearing it. I just sort of went to class, took notes, and left; I was working toward a master’s degree in counseling and psychology. I was still debating on whether to go for a doctorate.

The other days I worked part time at a cafe and studied; my free time was spent at home alone or the occasional visit to Wing and Zushi, not to mention the odd pop in from Onna, though I couldn’t say how she knew where I lived.

And today, I was going out with a classmate for a study session and drinks.

It was just the life I always wanted; peaceful, routine, and completely my own. I had money leftover from the tournament to pay for classes and tuition and I was even eligible for a scholarship due to my high school GPA scores; the Hunter license was definitely a leg up.

“Mindy?”

“Huh?” I turned to Aro, not realizing we had just reached my work.

“You work here?”

“Yeah.”

“Here?”

“Yeah.” I said impatiently. “So what?”

“This is a maid cafe.”

I shot him a look. “This isn’t a maid cafe dumbass; the uniforms are a bit...much, but we don’t call customers ‘Master’ or some bullshit.”

Aro looked around. “Yeah, I feel kinda weird being here.”

“What? It’s just pink.” I rolled my eyes as Aro looked at the frilly decorations and cushioned seats with distaste. “For god’s sake suck it up, you’re getting a 70% discount on anything we get here.”

Aro blinked. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

We settled at a booth with our drinks; Aro had even caved in a ordered a fluffy piece of strawberry shortcake to go with his tea.

“I thought you wanted coffee?” I asked curiously.

“Yeah, but the tea smelled good…”

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, no one will judge the size of your dick by you drinking from the pretty tea cup.” I said as I set out my notes and textbook; I practically jumped from my seat as Aro coughed and spit a gulp of hot tea on one of the sheets. “What the fuck dude?!”

“D-don’t look at me, you’re the one talking about dicks in a maid cafe!” Aro sputtered as he mopped up the tea with a napkin.

“Well, I at least kept a low volume jackass.” I grumbled and held up my ruined sheet. “Never mind about this one, I printed out the power point notes too.”

“Yeah? Wow, look at you.” Aro chuckled; then his smile turned confused. “Wait, then why take notes by hand if you just print them out?”

“The teacher said some of the questions would be just from the lectures, remember? Anyway, writing my own notes and annotating helps me understand it better, plus it stays in my memory longer.”

“Yeah?”

“Why do you keep saying that?”

“Saying what?”

I decided to keep the comment to myself; it’s not like I had the most stellar vocabulary either.

“Hey Aro, how’s the cake? Isn’t the cream perfect?” I beamed as he took a bite; he looked like he was on Cloud 9. “The strawberries are fresh too.”

Aro ran a hand through his hair. “Okay, I’ll admit it, this cake is the shit.”

“Yeah?”

“Hell yeah.”

There was something about being able to joke and laugh freely with another person that made everything else fade away.

A year had passed, and I was no longer afraid; the days passed one after the other and I found myself wrapped up completely in my new life. The fear and dread that came with every bump in the night and unknown number calling my cell phone had soon faded almost entirely. Hisoka was fickle after all; I decided that whatever the reason for the bruises on my neck, he had gotten bored and was off hunting some new prey. I was off the hook and on an outing with a cute boy.

“Mindy, can you help me figure out what this means?”

A somewhat dim boy, but at least he was nice to look at; and funny.

 _“Eh, it’s just a study session.”_ I smiled to myself and flipped through the notes to give Aro a more concrete example. _“Plus, guys who look as good as him aren’t usually into chubby; oh well. This is still nice.”_

Aro was quick to catch on and the time went relatively quick; after what must have been a few hours, I felt a buzzing in my pocket.

“What’s up?”

I shrugged after glancing at the number. “Oh, probably the blood sucking people. I donate blood one time on a whim and they keep calling me three times a month.”

Aro drew his tea away from his mouth as he laughed. “I bet you only did it for the free donuts.”

“Oh what, ‘cause I’m fat?”

Aro looked mortified. “I didn’t mean-”

I began laughing myself. “It’s cool, I know what you meant-.”

“You’re not fat!”

I was taken off guard by how serious his tone was. “Aro, it’s really fine. I was joking with you...”

“Yeah, but-argh!” Aro sighed in frustration, laying down his book. “I’m real sorry, I asked you for help and you give me a discount and I call you fat.”

“Well, I am kinda fat.”

“You’re just chubby! Wait, shit.” Aro smacked his head. “I mean, I just insulted you and you’re doing me this big favor. You don’t even know me and you’re really helping me out here.”

I shrugged and looked down. “It’s been fun. Look, don’t worry about it. Life’s too short to get hung up over little shit.”

“Yeah.” Aro smiled back uncertainly; he spoke a bit less candidly for the rest of the time we were there, but by the time we were walking back to my apartment, he had gone back to joking around and talking causally.

“So, is it kind of douchey to ask for the bartender to make my drink strong?”

“Yeah, a little. Ya see, if you’re ordering a mixed drink, it may mess up the taste.”

Aro nodded. “Yeah, but what if it’s just a rum and coke or something?”

“Well, in that case you could ask for it stronger, but you’ll be charged more.” I said. “It’s extra alcohol; like, if you ordered a sundae that charged for toppings, you’d have to pay extra for extra toppings.”

“This is going to sound stupid, but I feel kind of anxious about going to a bar. I’ve heard there’s all these rules and shit and eh…” Aro ran a hand through his hair further messing it up.

“You could always just drink at home; the money it costs for one mixed drink can get you a bottle of booze to make a bunch of them!” I grinned. “Also, don’t ask for recommendations; just research beforehand or look at the menu.”

“Alkie.”

“Whatever.” I flipped him off. “I work hard; gotta find time to relax, right?”

“Yeah.” Aro agreed. “You know, you’re probably one of the five people actually taking this class seriously; isn’t it basically a reintroduction to psychology?”

“True, but it’s good to have a foundation in the basics, right?”

Aro shrugged. “You’re smart; you don’t need to work so hard.”

“But the only reason I’m doing well is because I put in the extra study time. I have a hard time remembering things and relating them to a bigger picture.” I confessed. “I’m really not that smart. I have to do more work just to pass.”

Aro frowned to himself. “Can I tell you something?”

I paused and stepped up on the stoop of an older apartment complex; Aro offered me an almost bashful smile as I patted the cold concrete step next to me.

“What’s up?”

“I’m having a hard time getting used to this. It’s just...I know you’ll probably think I’m a spoiled brat, but this is the first time I’ve really been on my own education wise.”

“What do you mean?”

“My family has money; they pay for me to go to nice school, nice school cuts me slack...” Aro smiled bitterly. “I thought it was great, at first; and now I’m barely keeping up. Not to mention I’m good looking.”

I blinked. “Okay...what’s that have to do with it?”

“Aw, come on, you know how it works.” Aro's casual smile was tinged with bitterness. “If you’re attractive, people are even more likely to be sympathetic to you, at least compared to others. I even had girls practically do my homework because they had a crush on me.”

“Wow, you sounded like a douche.” I grimaced. “Uh, sorry.”

“No, you’re right…I was.” Aro huddled up on the step; I felt a bit bad for him. It was a bitch suddenly starting college, but at least I could take care of myself. To be thrown out into the real world after being given help for everything; no wonder he was having a hard time.

“You might have been a dick before, but you’re trying to do better now right?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“You went to me for help studying instead of trying to bribe a teacher. Or sleep with them; that’s pretty good all things considered.”

Aro laughed so hard he must have snorted three times in rapid succession.

 _“Watching hot people look like spazzes is something else.”_ I thought to myself as we continued the walk home. Aro went on telling me a bit more about himself; from what I could tell, he was just a guy trying to stand on his own two feet. It was a familiar story.

“Is this your place?”

“Yep; it’s still pretty early, want to come in?”

“Sure!” Aro’s smile fell slightly. “Are you sure it’s okay? I hope I’m not bugging you.”

“Nah, it’s cool. We can try that whiskey; I’m telling you, it’s goes down so smooth, you don’t need a chaser.” I rummaged through my purse to find my house key.

“Oh hey, you dropped-” Aro held up my Hunter license.

“Oh thanks.” I took it back, Aro’s hand was stilled in midair. I opened my door and held it open for him to enter, but he was still frozen. “Aro?”

“You’re a Hunter?! What the heck are you doing going to class and working in a maid cafe?!”

“It’s not a fucking maid-ugh. Okay, the thing is, I want to be a specific Hunter, but I wanted to take classes first to help me learn the right skills, okay?"

"Oh..." Aro followed me with a still somewhat skeptical expression; we entered my apartment and I went straight away for the booze. This day was taking an odd turn.

"Look, this way I can use this to help people all around the world, not just at some high school counselor gig or handing out pills.”

“Oh, I think I get it. So you’d be like a super shrink?”

“Not exactly….I’d be solving conflicts on a larger scale; I could just be a regular therapist, but this will let me help a lot of people.” I explained as I poured him a drink. “Now just drink and savor, don’t throw it back.”

Aro didn’t take a sip. “Mindy, I sort of lied to you earlier.”

“You hate coffee too?”

Aro smiled weakly. “No. Look, I really did need help with the midterm and everything, but that wasn’t the only reason I asked you out. I wanted to ask you out.”

I lowered my glass. “Wait, what?”

“I know we haven’t talked much, or at all…” Aro rubbed the back of his neck. “I was hoping maybe we could hang out sometime? Not just for studying; maybe we can go on an actual date?”

“Aro, I…”

“We had fun today, right?” Aro asked; he was trying to turn on the charm. “We don’t have to do anything much just maybe another cafe date or we could even just hang out here and talk about psychological shit and whiskey, whatever.”

I put down my drink. “Why?”

“We already went, why not go again? Or we could go to a different cafe or maybe get a burger-”

“No, I mean...why do you want to go out with me?” I asked slowly. “I don’t mean to fish for compliments. It’s just, you barely know me.”

“Isn’t that what dating’s for?”

“Well, yeah, but,” I tried to search for the right words as I took a generous sip from my whiskey. My cheeks were getting warm and I wasn’t sure if it was from the alcohol or the embarrassment or both.

“What? Is it because of the stuff I said earlier? I’m really not like that anymore.” Aro said quietly.

“No, that’s not it at all!” I sighed heavily and took a seat next to him. “Aro, whatever you used to be like, you seem like a nice enough guy now. I had fun today.”

Aro looked at me nervously. “Is it weird that I’m here? Do you want me to leave?”

“It’s not weird! Trust me, I would’ve beaten the shit out of you if I felt worried.”

“Do you have a boyfriend already?”

“No.”

“Is it cause I said you were fat?”

I giggled. “Aro, you don’t get it. You’re fine...it’s me. I just don’t get why you’d want to date me. Maybe I seem smart or put together, but I’m not really. I just got done not being scared of clowns and daisies recently.”

“Huh?”

“Long story. The point is...I don’t think I’m the person you think I am.”

“Maybe I want to see that for myself.”

I looked at him uncertainly. “Aro, I’ve got a lot on my plate right now. I just don’t want to be dating anyone. I’m sorry if I made you think something else.”

Aro’s shoulders slumped. “Okay; sorry, I guess I made things awkward, huh?”

I felt guilty; he actually looked disappointed. How long was he planning to talk to me? Did I really hurt his feelings? I liked Aro enough, but I wanted to focus on my exams; I barely had time for nen training and visiting Wing and Zushi. I was just starting to get myself settled in and I didn’t feel up to dating.

“Aro, thank you for understanding. You’re more mature than you think; you’re not dumb. You’ll pass the midterm and you’ll be okay.” I nudged his shoulder. “If you want, I can still help you study."

“Yeah?” Aro laughed softly. “So, no date huh?”

I shook my head apologetically.

“Yeah, I guess you can’t win ‘em all. I still do like you though. You’ve got great taste in drinks.” Aro smiled and fiddled with his glass. “How about being friends?”

“If you don’t mind constant cursing and gorging on discount cake, why not?”

I sent Aro home an hour later with my highlighted notes; we scheduled a study session on the weekend and a night out at a nice bar after testing was done.

 _“Was I stupid to turn him down?”_ I wondered as I got ready for bed; I had a morning shift tomorrow and the sugar high and whiskey wasn’t going to help me sleep any time sooner.

Going through my nightly routine, I ignored any random, unnamed calls from my phone, scrolled through my email, checked my text messages, watched a few funny videos, and turned off the lights before plugging in my phone to charge its battery. I placed my Hunter license inside my pajama pocket for safekeeping.

 _“No, I feel good. Aro is nice, but I just want to focus on my training for now, in and out of class.”_ I snuggled under the covers with a faint smile; for once, everything was going just fine. _“Maybe those tarot cards weren’t complete bullshit.”_

I inwardly cursed myself for bringing up the memory and tried to block out any more thoughts as I drifted off into an uneasy sleep.


	22. The Little Things

“See?” Wing squeezed one of my boxing gloves, but there was so give to them. “Using shu would not only improve the power of your punches with these gloves, but they’d provide an extra layer of protection for your hands.

“Okay, but how’s this different than ko?” I asked; the kettle’s sharp piercing wail startled me and I jumped up to turn off the stove.

“Ko can only be extended to one area of your body; say you wanted to strengthen your right strike or an uppercut. Depending on which hand you’re using, you’d enhance the damage done from one of those punches; your hatsu would allow an even greater advantage with this technique.” Wing strolled over to my cabinets and took out five tea cups. “Now, as I said, you can only use ko on one part of your body, though it’s possible to combine it with shu.”

Aro milled around behind the kitchen counter chopping carrots and lettuce. “Dude, you’re like a dictionary.”

“I am a teacher of nen; it’s only natural to be able to explain all this to my students.” Wing replied as he looked for the tea. “Zushi, is there tea next to the coffee?”

“No, I think I saw a box above the refrigerator.” Zushi stirred the noodles; I felt a bit wary of him needing to stand on a stool, but he seemed at ease. I forgot that Wing could be a bit absent minded when it came to things other than nen, so Zushi probably had more than enough practice preparing his own food.

“It’s in the top cabinet, the one with the smaller door. Get the nice one, I saved it for having people over.”

“Oooh, fancy~” Aro shot me a grin. “What, no champagne?”

“I’ve got wine.”

“Yeah, and by wine you mean a few dozen bottles stocked up right?”

“Hey, I don’t drink it all at once! Stop making me look like a drunk in front of Zushi.” I whined, because that showed how adult I was.

“It’s okay Mindy, I know you’re not a drunk.”

“Thank you.” I patted the top of Zushi’s head.

“You’re just a huge glutton.”

Wing put a finger to his chin. “If that applies to alcohol, then Mindy would be a drunk.”  
“Nah, she needs to have a dependence on it, or it doesn’t count.”

“She could be a functioning addict.”

“Oh my god, could you guys stop discussing whether I’m an alky or not? And half of this wine is for cooking.”

“Well, back to our previous lesson.” Wing continued breezily. “Using shu and ko at the same time can lead to exhausting your body and aura limit. You’d waste too much energy and pass out like you did in your last fight.”

“Yeah, but I also passed out from the blood loss.”

Aro looked up from his chopping. “What?!”

“Hey, pay attention!”

“I-shit!’ Aro dropped the knife and stuck his thumb in his mouth; he moaned and shot me a dirty look.

“Well, who the hell’s fault is this really? You don’t look away while you’re cutting shit, everyone knows that.”

Zushi sighed. “Mindy, don’t you think it would make more sense if I cut the vegetables? I think it’s safe to say I’d be more careful, not to mention Aro’s the one who tall enough to stir.”

I frowned. “Huh, I didn’t think of that.”

“Yeah, if you had I wouldn’t be gushing blood.”

“Oh suck it up pansy; when you get stabbed in the gut with a magic sword, then you can bitch.” I took him out of the kitchen and into the hallway. “There’s a box of bandaids in the bathroom; wash your hands first though.”

“I wouldn’t call it magic.” Wing poured hot water into each cup carefully.

“Isn’t that what people thought Hisoka’s tricks were? A non nen user would assume he really could do magic.” Zushi recalled.

“His hatsu abilities are far from flashy, but they are useful, on and off the arena.” Wing moved beside Zushi at the counter to search for sugar, careful to avoid the rapidly moving knife. “They’re quite fitting.”

“Master Wing,” Zushi’s voice was barely a whisper. “Mindy…”

I tried to act like I didn’t hear them as I stepped back inside the kitchen. “Coming through guys, gotta take out the meatballs!”

Half an hour later, the meal was set.

For five people.

“Hold on,” I took a head count. “Wing, why’d you set out an extra plate? Did you lose count?”

“No,” Wing smiled thinly. “I took the liberty of inviting a guest; it’s rare we’ve been able to see you with your busy schedule.” he glanced at his watch. “Actually, they should have-”

“She’s here.” Zushi pointed at the open window behind Aro’s seat; speaking of which, Aro had jumped out of his skin and was toppled over on the floor. Onna leapt from her perch on the sill and stepped over Aro’s body.

“Hello, thank you for having me over.” Onna took her place at the table. “Mindy, your guest is being rude, tell him to sit up straight.”

“Nice to see you too; I’ve got to take you out for drinks one of these days.” I almost choked on my tea. “Aro, it’s fine, this is Onna.”

“Yeah…” Aro crawled back in his seat. “Nice to meet you.”

“Pleasure.” Onna sipped her tea. “Are we going to get down to the point of this meeting?” she inquired to Wing.

“I suppose we might as well.”

“Meeting?” I asked. “Wait a minute, you’ve got to be kidding me! I am not a drunk, you guys can’t be pulling this intervention shit on me-!”

“Mindy, this isn’t an intervention.” Zushi said.

Aro raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? Are you sure?”

“Mindy, we wanted to talk to you about something.” Wing explained.

“Should I leave?” Aro asked awkwardly. “I can go in the bathroom; I think my cut’s bleeding again.”

“No, it’s okay...I think?” I looked at them questioningly after handing Aro a napkin; Wing and Zushi nodded. Onna shrugged.

“It’s all very simple. You’ve been acting oddly for some time and now that we’ve got the chance, we all want to talk about it.” Onna twirled the noodles onto her fork with precise movement. “I was also hungry.”

“Mindy, we’ve noticed that you’ve been very on edge the past year. You get startled easily, you avoid talking about Heaven’s Arena.” Wing paused.

Zushi set down his fork. “Is it because of Hisoka? Are you afraid he’s still going to try to find you?”

“Come on guys, I’m fine.” I said with an air of dismissive cheerfulness. “You know where I’m from, I’ve always been a bit too on my guard. There’s no need to worry, Hisoka probably got bored and is off doing who knows what who knows where.”

“Yeah, who’s this Hisoka guy?” Aro spoke carefully. “Mindy, are you in trouble or something?”

“No, it’s not that. Aro, I didn’t want to get into talking about this. Long story short, one of the opponents at Heaven’s Arena tried to kill me while I was recuperating in the hospital.”

“What?!” Aro looked around in bewilderment. “Some guy’s after you? Did you call the police?”

“Aro, Hisoka is a Hunter. As you know, we have a sort of immunity to laws, though even that has it’s limits on some level.” Wing sighed. “The authorities wouldn’t be of any help.”

“Yeah, but why does he want to kill you?” Aro turned to me; his eyes normally held a glint of mischief. Now they were wide in fear.

“Calm down Aro, I haven’t even heard from him since. Hisoka...he likes to fight and kill opponents he judges as strong. I thought he was just going to restrict that to our match, but…” I trailed off. “It’s weird though. Hisoka is crazy, but he has his own way of doing things.”

“But are you really okay?” Zushi asked.

“Have you seen any sign of the magician? Any calls or messages, maybe him showing up at your campus or work?” Onna asked with a sharp look. “Hisoka may be fickle, but he’s unpredictable. He could forget about you for a time, remember on a whim, and then do everything in his power to seek you out.”

“Onna, stop taking this so lightly.”

“I am not.”

“I was-ugh, look, I’m fine. I feel great and I know I can count on you guys. Except you Aro, you’d get killed, so don’t try to help.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

Aro was oddly silent throughout the rest of the meal; after Wing, Zushi, and Wing had left, I found him looking sullen on the couch.

“Hey, I brought some cake from work. It’s your favorite~” I waved it under his nose, but my playful smile fell immediately at his look. “What?”

“Mindy, why didn’t you tell me about this? This is serious, some nutjob wants you dead!” Aro slapped a hand on his leg. “I mean, why the hell aren’t you taking this more seriously? Screw school and work, why not just train with nen full time? Who knows whether this guy could just show up?!”

I sat down next to him slowly. “Aro, I...when you grow up around violence, when you realize what people are capable of and you’re just a kid and you hear about it all the time or see it...I don’t know, you sort of just accept it. You live with it and try to just…”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think-why don’t you ever talk to me about that stuff?” Aro asked softly.

“I don’t like talking about it. You know, a big part of why I entered the tournament was to make money to leave. I wanted to start over and…” I looked down and sniffed lightly. “Dammit, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to get like this.”

“No, it’s fine! You’re handling this pretty well. Someone like me would buckle under it all.” Aro said with a self deprecating smile.

“You’re going to think this is stupid, but...the worst part is, Hisoka is the one who influenced me to leave. I looked up to him in a way; he’s so strong, he’s his own person. I always wanted to be like that.” I felt tears well up and I exhaled slowly. “Hisoka pushed me to succeed; in a messed up sort of way, but if it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t even be here.”

“Yeah you would.”

I shrugged. “I didn’t care about anything...not even myself. When Hisoka saw something in me, I felt...special. I thought, yes, I can prove to myself that I can do something worthwhile and if a guy as powerful as him wants to take me on for my strength, I must be pretty damn good. Heh, now that's a joke.”

“Is that what he does? Judge people and hunt them down for the hell of it?” Aro looked disgusted. “Talk about life goals…”

I laughed. “You know what’s really bad? I sort of thought we might have been friends.”

Aro sat in hushed silence and waited for me to gather myself.

“The day I woke up in the hospital, he came by to play with tarot cards; I was kind of pissed because during our fight he...well, he was a patronizing dick.”

I felt my stomach twist at the memory; yet, in some way, I was relieved to be talking about it all. The words just kept coming and Aro never looked away while I told him my story.

“And in the end, Hisoka didn’t deny it. Why...? He was acting so normally, I couldn’t even sense any bloodlust from his aura, but he choked me while I was knocked out. He didn’t want to fight me; he just wanted me dead, but the next day he was acting completely normal, at least for him, and I have no idea why!” I blurted this out in rapid procession. “I mean, does he hate me? Where the hell did all this come from? Even now, I’m still a bit anxious he’ll try to find me…” I confessed.

Aro put a hand on my shoulder. “Mindy, I’m not going to act like I understand all this, but...I am worried. Don’t keep stuff like this from friends. What if he did come back and he hurt you and I wouldn’t even know what happened?”

“I know. I’m sorry.” I wiped my face with my sleeves. “Aro, I was worried. I don’t want you to know somethings about me. I’m a messed up person; I fought so hard to get here and I don’t want to ruin it.”

“I don’t care. I like you and I’m not just going to stop liking you because you had a rough time growing up or you feel betrayed by a psychotic asshole.”

“Thank you Aro...I just want to live my life the way I want to. I want to enjoy myself; I love going to school and working in a cafe and inviting friends to dinner.”

“Yeah, so what’s up with your teacher?”

“What?” I raised an eyebrow. “Where’d that come from?”

“It’s just, did you guys used to date or something? I’m just curious, ‘cause I hope he doesn’t mind I’m sticking around here now-”

“Oh no, no, Wing’s just my teacher. I mean, he’s a friend, but…” I smiled warmly. “You know, he’s kind of like the big brother I always wanted; Zushi’s sort of like my little brother and Onna’s like...well, not a sister really. We’re friends, she just wants to beat the crap out me at some point....” I blushed. “This sounds really fuckin’ weird doesn’t it?”

“I’m relieved.”

I looked up at him.

“I mean, it’s great you have so many people looking out for you.” Aro smiled, but he still looked troubled. I could hardly believe it; why was this person so worried about me? But it felt good; it was amazing, to know someone cared, that people were looking out for me and without me even asking.

“I wish I could help more.”

“Aro, just hearing me out means a lot.” I chuckled. “The little things are what get me through the bullshit, and this...I feel a lot better telling you about it.”

Aro gave me a one armed hug and mussed my bangs. “Anytime.”

“But you know what would make me feel a lot better?” I looked up at him with a coy smile.

Aro pulled back slightly. “Uh, what?”

“Cake and shots!”

“Are you sure you’re not a drunk?”


	23. The High Priestess

“Machi, pick a card.”

“No.”

Hisoka’s smile was mask like. “Come now, isn’t this boring, just sitting around and waiting?”

“You should be focused. You’re already on thin ice.” Machi folded her arms and leaned back against the tree trunk. “Uvogin is manning his post, and we need to keep our eyes open too.”

“Do you really think someone with that much power could just slip by my notice?” Hisoka chided lightly. “I can sense our target from a mile away. I only wish the boss would allow me to have some fun before we kill him.”

“You’re warped.”

Hisoka shrugged his shoulders and continued to flip through his cards idly. “Don’t you want to know your future?”

“Put those things away. It’s all nonsense and we’re on a job.”

“Tarot cards are simply fascinating, not to mention unreliable interpretations; the meaning of a card you pick can even change depending on your gender. Besides, Shizuku gets to have her toy out.”

“She’s dispatching the body. All we need is his head.”

Hisoka put a finger to his lip. “I don’t see why the boss wants this man’s skull so badly.”

“Our target is rumored to have transplanted his skull with adamantium.” Machi explained dully; she sighed. Why did she always have to deal with him? It was like looking after a child, one that burned ants for fun no less.

“So?” Hisoka yawned.

“So, do you realize how much we could get for that? This metal has been in short supply for decades; a rare item like this will make us a fortune.”

“Hm...it doesn’t peak my interest.”

Machi held back a scowl. “What interests you is of no concern to us; you’re here to do your job. After that, you can fall off a cliff for all I care.”

“I was hoping we could go off together; it’s not that late, we could get something to eat-”

“Quiet.” Machi whispered. “Here he comes. Uvogin will disable the car, then we go in for the kill.”

Hisoka sighed; what sort of menial labor was this anyway? He couldn’t even properly fight this man; Chrollo had been strict, that they would only need to cut off his head and in a timely manner. The annual black market auction was not long away and they needed what the client’s wanted.

“What a mess. Uvogin, can you smash up the body into more of a paste? It’s tough on Blinky to suck up so many solid pieces.”

“Alright.” Uvogin went to work, his fists quickly stained with blood and other fluids; the regular human bones were dust in a manner of seconds. “Hisoka, maybe you could help out instead of making phone calls?”

“Oh, I’m fine, but thank you for including me anyway~”

“You rat bastard, I-”

“Enough. Shizuku, vacuum the rest of quickly; I think we’d all rather be done with this.” Machi practically tossed the severed head in her duffel bag. Shizuku nodded and went to work dutifully; Machi stepped back and stared around at the motley crew of thieves.

She sighed as soon as Uvogin and Shizuku were done; they would split up, one of the pair carrying an identical bag to hers. On the off chance a person would witness what they’d done and try to procure the target back, they would have a decoy to throw them off.

“You need to come with me to escort the item; after that, you can be on your way.” Machi walked toward the hidden car parked behind a thick clump of thrush and trees. She knew Hisoka was disappointed at the lack of carnage this mission entailed, but she herself was getting more and more exhausted with his presence.

“At least I have the pleasure of your company for a bit longer~”

Machi gave him a cold stare; this would be a long drive. “I don’t know why the boss even thought we needed you here.”

“Perhaps he wants to keep tabs on me?”

“I don’t think so. Either way, we don’t question him; we complete the mission, no mess ups, and we leave until next time.”

Hisoka pouted. “That’s so cold. Don’t you miss me Mindy?”

“You really are losing it.” Machi shook her head as she drove, eyes trained on the road and glancing every so often at the global positioning system.

“Pardon me, it has been a long day.” Hisoka chuckled and settled back in his seat. “Say Machi, pick a card.”

It was going to be a long, long drive.

**First Person POV:**

“What about this place?” Aro scrolled down and pointed to the directions on his phone.

“Eh, I don’t like sushi.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“I want a burger.”

“You can’t just keep eating read meat Mindy.” Aro tutted. “Lean meats like fish are not only healthier for you, but how do you think I keep my skin so smooth? You eat greasy meat that’s like, 90% fat.”

“I move around a lot, I need the extra calories.” I argued as I scrolled through my own phone; we moved out of the way of passerbys on the sidewalk and took refuge on a bench. “God my feet are killing me; who knew it would take so damn long to find the Hunter licensing center.”

“Yeah, then you spent an hour of that time going after that stray dog.”

“Well, I couldn’t just leave them out there.”

“It bit you! Twice!”

“We got my photo changed in the end, right? And we still have plenty of time for lunch before class, so just relax Aro.”

“Yeah, I don’t get why you had to get your picture taken again.”

“I had the time and I don’t like the old one.” I grumbled. “Don’t judge me, you’re the one who buys those expensive pomegranate scented shampoo for your, ‘fragile roots’.”

Aro flipped his hair with a theatrical wink. “And it works.”

I giggled at his antics in spite of myself. “Anyway, I just don’t like sushi.”

“Oh yeah? How about one with an all you can eat grill? They had one like this at Heaven’s Arena right?” Aro smiled cheekily as he showed me the pictures; my mouth was already watering.

“Okay, sounds good.” I said nonchalantly as I dragged him up.

“Ow, hey don’t use it on me, you’ll tear my arm off!” Aro whispered harshly; he knew that to talk about nen in public wasn’t the smartest idea.

“I wasn’t," I grinned. “Looks like you’re as fragile as your roots.”

Aro blushed. “Don’t be jealous just because I could be a model.”

“Oh please.” I scoffed lightly.

“I’ve gotten offers, you’ve seen random agents come up to me while we’re out.”

“Okay, okay, you’re handsome, happy?”

Aro beamed as his cheeks grew pink. “Yeah. Don’t feel left out, you have your own charms.”

I shrugged. “I guess. I don’t put in effort like you do though.”

“You’re really good with makeup.”

“Huh?” I looked at him with a perplexed frown.

“Yeah! Your blush is spot on and your lip gloss isn’t too much either.” Aro gave me a thumbs up. “A natural look, but still cute. You should give more bold colors a try some time though; my mom’s in makeup and she could match a weird colored lipstick to anyone and make it look good."

“That’s cool and everything, but I don’t wear make up.” I searched through my pocket and pulled out my chap stick. “I use this; does it count? I guess it's more for medical reasons than anything else...”

Aro gaped at me. “Yeah, but, what about your cheeks?”

“Well, my mom used to say I have a peaches and cream complexion.” I smiled a bit. “I used to think she meant my skin was orange.”

“Oh…” Aro coughed and looked forward. “You know, you are pretty cute. Don’t sell yourself short.”

“Aw, thank you!” I smiled at the ground. “I don’t know...I’ve always been a bit curious about red lipstick. I’ve never really had the time to think about stuff like that…”

“How about we go check out a store after lunch?”

“Hm, alright.” I agreed; I turned to give him an appreciative smile, but I caught sight of a girl on the other side of the street. “Oh wow, now she’s cute.”

“Yeah?” Aro glanced over at her. “She’s pretty. Real small though; think she’s our age?”

“Maybe...damn, I’m always jealous of the petite look.” I groaned. “She looks just like a little doll or a model.”

“Mindy, beauty is-”

“In the eye of the beholder, believe in yourself, there’s no place like home, I get it.” I said dully.

“Yeah, but you’ve got your own look; your hair is full, your eyes are big, you’ve got a nice complexion, and small chests are in.” Aro nodded wisely as I gave him a disgruntled sideways glance.

“I mean, it’s not like I think I’m ugly.” I told him sincerely. “It’s just...well,” I patted my stomach and looked somberly at my thighs and upper arms. “All this training, but I just can’t get rid of some of this flab. What am I doing wrong?”

“Your health is fine, right?”

“Well, yeah. Weight aside, Wing said my physical health is in good order. Worst thing I have is allergies.” I stated a bit proudly.

“Yeah, so if your weight isn’t causing you any health problems, who cares?”

I smiled ruefully. “I get what you mean Aro, but I can’t help feel a bit self conscious about it now and then. It can be a pain in the ass being the chubby girl. Maybe I do have good skin or hair or whatever, but that doesn’t hide the fact I’m jiggly as a bowl full of jelly.”

“Everyone loves jelly.”

“God, you sound like a mother from an after school special about loving your body and self esteem and shit.”

Aro shrugged. “Yeah, but I’m just being honest.” he poked my cheek teasingly. “You look soft at least; like one of those mascots that hug kids at parties.”

“Gee thanks.”

“Take the compliment or I’ll pile sprouts and cauliflower all over your food.”

“You wouldn’t.”

Aro smirked and ran ahead to the restaurant.

“Dammit Aro!” I took chase. _“At least I’m fast for my weight too. Aw, who gives a shit, I’m getting a free meal today.”_

**Third Person POV:**

Hisoka came back to Machi with an empty duffel bag. “The delivery has been successful~”

Machi took it back and slung the bag around her torso. “Good, I’m out of here. It’s too noisy in this city.”

“I’d love to see you off, but I have to visit an old acquaintance.” Hisoka said. “Tata, I can’t wait until the next mission.”

“Hisoka.”

“Hm?”

Machi turned away. “Don’t be late for the next assignment.”

“Will do~” Hisoka saluted.

 _“I can feel it in the pit of my stomach; somethings off about him lately.”_ Machi frowned to herself as she found the car parked beside a corner store. _“Whatever, as long as it doesn’t get in the way of the Spiders, let him play his games.”_

She put the seat up and adjusted the height to her preference; Hisoka must have messed with it before they left.

 _“Annoying…”_ Machi mumbled as she got in and started the engine. _“He can’t remember to show up on time or my name but he can remember to pull pranks.”_

And that thought made her wonder briefly; who was Mindy? She had a hunch about the so called acquaintance he was meeting; whoever she was, Machi didn’t think more on it; she needed to arrive back in Meteor City to report to Chrollo.

 _“Still….as foolish as he seems...”_ Machi involuntarily shivered; Hisoka always managed to make her skin faintly crawl, but the look on his face earlier was positively chilling. For a moment, Machi felt a bit sorry for the woman.

But it was only for an instance; a better person may have turned back, but Machi could safely say she was no such person as she sped out of the city limits.

_“Good luck to her.”_

As Machi was leaving, Hisoka was walking further and further to the opposite direction; it was a short distance to his destination, but it seemed to take so much longer.

_“It’s so hard to be patient. I’ve been too busy to enjoy myself lately and now I’m handed the opportunity on a silver platter.”_

The apartment complex was relatively nicer than he pictured, yet simple. All in all a fitting place to make a modest home. Hisoka focused and tracked the traces of nen left behind until he was at the right level and in front of the right door; he unlocked it with a bobby pin and let himself inside.

“Too easy.”

Hisoka let the door swing open.


	24. Reunion

“Oh god, I’m gonna die.”

“You’re fine.”

“No, I’m gonna fuckin’ die.” I swung open my apartment door and immediately headed for the couch, landing face first in the cushions. “Ahhhh, I’m fat!”

“You’re not fat.” Aro found his key and locked the door. “We just ate a lot; which, by the way, you need to eat more vegetables.”

“Oh my god, buzzkill much? Just let me lay here in my shame for a few hours.”

“Yeah, I’m making myself an appletini.” Aro finished the drink with a practiced hand; I felt a bit of pride as he took a sip and nodded in approval. “Goddamn these are good; like drinking a piece of apple flavored hard candy.”

“Make me a sex on the beach.” I rolled over and stared up at the ceiling. “Crap, I should’ve stopped at four plates.”

“Yeah, and a order of dumplings and a few of my sushi rolls and a sundae.”

“Hey, it’s a time to celebrate.” I smiled at him. “I think you’re gonna pass; I hope you realize, you worked really hard.” I tried to sit straight but still ended up half slumped over. “Not to mention, you did it yourself.”

“Yeah, but you helped me study.” Aro sounded both grateful and disappointed. “I still needed help when it came down to it.”

“Getting help from a friend isn’t anything to feel shitty about. We’ve spent hours going over notes and the books, but it was because you wanted to. You’re not some lazy, spoiled brat; you’re a worker bee schlub now too.”

“Yeah, and I make an amazing drink.” Aro handed me my glass. “See that strawberry I put instead of a tangerine slice? That’s called imagination baby.”

“I don’t have any tangerines; how much vodka you put in your appletini?”

“Not a whole lot…” Aro sat on my legs, but I just smirked. “Hey, are you using the nen thing to keep me from crushing your legs?”

“Aro, you weight less than me.” I laughed and kicked him over. “But I am.”

“How does it feel when you use it?”

I thought for a second. “Like being dipped in warm soup, but you don’t get wet and you skin isn’t scalded.”

“Yeah, nice analogy.”

“Sorry we can’t all be blossoming artists.” I leaned my head back on the couch head rest. “This is great; I retook my license photo, we got to eat lots of food, midterms are over, and the holidays are coming up. I’m excited!” I giggled childishly. 

“Yeah, and you’re buzzed.” Aro added helpfully; he stretched his arms and moved to rise from his seat. He caught me staring at him and frowned. “What? Do I have rice on my face still?”

“No, your eyes!” I leaned in to get a closer look. “Holy shit they’re really blue. That’s so cool.” I pouted and gave him a mock glare. “My eyes are just brown; everyone and their mother has brown eyes.”

Aro poked my forehead and chuckled. “Yeah, but come on, dark eyes look cool too.”

“Yours just pop out though; plus, when you wear blue, they change color to that shade of blue. It’s like you were born half chameleon.”

“Have you ever thought of wearing contacts?” Aro asked suddenly.

“Nah, I’m too used to my glasses. Even just taking them off feels weird; I broke them once and saw myself in the mirror, and I just looked so odd without them.”

“I was going to say, if you had contacts, people could see your eyes better.”

I scratched my head. “Why would I want that?”

“Because they’re...sparkly? I don’t know, it’s like, when you’re happy they shine or something and it makes me want to kiss you.” Aro took a gulp of his drink and coughed, burying his head in his hand. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Don’t beat yourself up; at least you’re honest.” I said. “And you’re really nice to compliment me.”

“Mindy, I think your eyes are beautiful and it’s not because I’m being nice.” Aro retorted. “I...look, don’t think I don’t see you as a friend. You’re probably the first real friend I ever had. But I also feel...more and it’s hard to act like I don’t.”

I knew at some point this would have to be addressed; in all honesty, part of me knew deep down Aro might have had second thoughts about our platonic relationship. In all fairness, sometimes I wondered myself if whether turning him down was a stupid move. But it was just a passing thought.

I sat up straight. “Aro, I’m sorry. Is this too weird for you, us being friends?”

“No, I really like this, but I feel like I’m putting you on the spot or something and I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me.” Aro pushed back his bangs and exhaled heavily. “Mindy, be honest...if things were different, would I have a chance? If your life wasn’t so hectic and you were ready, could you see us going out?”

“I don’t know.” I confessed. “Aro, at the end of the day, I just see you as someone I care about as my friend. If I was a better person, I’d just tell you to buzz off and go waste your time with a girl who likes you the same way.”

“Don’t. You’re not a bad person for wanting to just be friends. I’ll get over it; this is still pretty good and I’m having a lot of fun.” Aro smiled and raised his glass to me. “I’m also learning a lot about liquor.”

I bit my lip. “As long as we’re being honest, can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

I sat crossed legged on my side of the couch to fully face him.

“Why do you like me? I don’t mean just as friends, I mean, why do you even like me ‘that’ way? I don’t know, maybe it is the insecurity talking...and the booze….but I just don’t see it. You’re super hot, sweet, charming, you have your own money and know a lot about different shit, you learn fast, and you’re funny."

“Oh, go on.” Aro batted his eyelashes.

“I’m serious. Maybe I am nice and smart like you said, but I’m not that much more than anyone else. I keep thinking that maybe you’re secretly messing with me, which is bullshit, 'cause you’re not that kind of person. Or maybe you...you just got tricked into thinking I’m better than you think I am.”

"Yeah, it's true, you’re not the nicest, smartest, funniest, or hottest girl I’ve ever met.”"Aro set down his glass with a heavy sigh. “You know why I like you? And not just in the crush way?"

I felt my mouth gap slightly as Aro smiled; he looked so happy and I couldn’t fathom why.

“But you don’t have to be. You’re one of the few people who are just themselves; you’re nice and loud, you talk a lot and drink and eat too much, and you’re stubborn and understanding, you get worried way too easily and you get sad and feel shitty about yourself, but no matter where you are or who you’re talking to, you never try to be anyone other than yourself. You always want to be the person you **think** you should be and live life your way, but you’ve been doing it. If you ask me, for better or worse, you’re just the person you’re supposed to be.”

Aro took my hand; it didn’t feel like a romantic gesture. It was purely comforting.

“I want to be able to do that too. And, whatever our relationship is, I’d like to be one of the people you care about the most.”

I managed to hold back tears. “Even if I’m sort of a lush?”

“Especially because you’re a borderline lush; just don’t make us stage another intervention.”

“Wait, was that supposed to be an intervention?!”

**Third Person POV:**

It took everything Hisoka had to keep up his zetsu as he listened in on the conversation from the other room.

The sickeningly sweet conversation he was certain would make him keel over any minute.

 _“Spare me…”_ Hisoka peeked around the corner; Mindy was giving Aro one last hug before he left. _“I’ll wait a bit longer; I don’t need that kid butting in. Honestly, I came all the way here to visit and the least she could do is not invite some random-oh.”_

Mindy had opened the door to a small laundry room adjacent to the living room; she had just gotten done dumping a basket of clothes in the washer and was currently in the process of stripping off her leggings and unzipping the side of her skirt.

Mindy paused.

 _“...someone’s here. Aro?”_ she frowned and released ten. _“No, this is different, I feel like, like everything’s gone cold...”_

“Good evening; it’s been a while.”

Hisoka smiled as Mindy shrunk back against the laundry room door.

“What’s wrong? Aren’t you glad to see me? Though I must say, the way your eyes look petrified in fear is very becoming.”

“What’re you doing here?” Mindy’s voice was barely audible as she pressed her back further into the door. Fear and shock were consuming her at the moment. “Why did you come here?!”

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re still upset about that little misunderstanding.” Hisoka sighed and crossed his arms. “If you’d just let me explain-”

“I don’t care. I just want you gone.”

“Why must you insist on overreacting? I wasn’t trying to kill you.”

“Are you serious? You choked me in the middle of the night!” Mindy didn’t dare take a step forward; she watched Hisoka like a hawk with gyo, fists clenched and poised in front of her. _“He isn’t on the offensive…or maybe he's just masking his aura with zetsu...”_

“Were you really asleep then?”

Mindy scowled. “Yeah and you were going to make that a permanent thing if I remember right.”

“Do you remember calling out for me?” Hisoka put a hand on one hip in his usual cocky posture, but there wasn’t a trace of a smile on his face. If anything, he was staring at her almost accusingly, a joke if there ever was one.

“No, but maybe that was because you were choking me and the oxygen was cut off from my brain!”

“You said my name; I couldn’t stand to hear it, so I tried to shut you up. I wouldn’t waste my time spilling blood so mundanely.”

Mindy’s mouth fell open. "...you were annoyed  **by my voice** so much you decided to nearly **kill me?!** ”

“Well, if you put it that way, it sounds worse than what actually happened.”

Hisoka looked on as Mindy pinched the bridge of her nose; the panic she had expressed was being quickly replaced by exasperation and indignation. Then again, it was hard to take anything he said seriously when it was all so completely ridiculous.

“You know what? Fine." Mindy threw her hands up in the air. "I won’t ever talk to you or say your name unconsciously again. Happy?”

“There’s much more to it than that.”

"Of course there is." Mindy lowered her hands limply to her sides. “Sure, go ahead.”

“You know what I hate about you?"

"No, but I'm sure you'll tell me."

Hisoka raised an eyebrow, but continued blandly. "You never know when to stop talking; you couldn’t read a person’s mood to save your life. You just say whatever comes to your head and you don’t think about how it affects other people.”

“I just said your name!" Mindy stared at him incredulously. "I was probably having a nightmare about you almost killing me. Oh wait, no, it was real!”

“You said you admired me.”

Mindy felt her anger melt away to just plain befuddlement; once again Hisoka had come into her life with no warning and now he was here, lecturing her for what, a compliment? Because she was thinking of him? Was it really that much of a crime, so much so that he felt the need to punish her for it?

Everything was fine, everything was normal and now he had come in with his unpredictable bullshit. The feeling was something akin to a tight violin string snapping from the slowly increasing tension; and Mindy was wound up to the point of shaking.

“So what?”

Mindy laughed bitterly, raising herself from her spot against the door and taking a few steps forward. “You know what, yeah I did. I sort of still do. Are you pissed? Annoyed that a weakling like me would bug you with shit like that because you’re _sooo_ not into that sort of thing and I’m just prey and I’m being a idiot? Am I _crazy_ and a fucking dumbass because I sort of thought I was a friend, even though _you’re_ a crazy, uncaring, lying sicko?"

"It sounds likely."

Mindy snorted derisively. "Well, you're right! I guess I’m messed up for finding things I like in you, I’m crazy for still feeling grateful to you for some shit you didn't even mean to do and it annoys you for some fucking reason! If that’s how you feel, then why the hell are you here? I already get it, it’s not like I went up to you and asked you for anything!”

Hisoka cocked his head to the side to contemplate her with an unreadable expression; Mindy was practically burning with suppressed rage and hyperventilating like she had run a marathon, but she still had a lot of steam. For once he was going to shut up and listen.

“I don’t care how you or anyone else feels about it; I’m tired of feeling bad for the way I am and that’s my problem. If you came here to give me shit for it, then get it done with and leave and go back to stalking the dozens of other people on your grocery shopping list of assholes you want to disembowel-”

Mindy didn’t have any time to react before Hisoka’s Bungee Gum became stuck to her mouth.

“You really do talk a lot. But I suppose we all have our faults."

Hisoka yanked his hand back and Mindy was sent flying forward, crashing into his body. He smiled at the muffled curses and weak struggling as he used his Bungee Gum to tie up her hands and feet like shackles; gyo or not, he was still quicker on the draw.

“I'm a liar. Even I can get so wrapped up in my deceptions, I almost lose track of what’s real and what’s not; life to me is living in the moment. It's much more fun that way you see; I tend to forget most things, or at least the things I don’t care much about.”

Mindy glared up at him, mentally willing Hisoka to stop his spiel and let her free.

“So, imagine my surprise when I kept coming back to your little speech. It was quite perplexing and irritating to the point I almost did wish you dead to get rid of the source.” Hisoka snapped his fingers. “But then I realized there was a reason for noticing your feelings. So, in lieu of of repelling them, why not use them to my advantage instead?"

Hisoka smiled as Mindy gave him the dullest stare she could muster; he translated it as, 'get to the point'.

"Anyway, I just came here to make you aware of what you need to expect and the gist of how you should react accordingly."

Mindy's scream was muted by the sticky nen.

“Sorry, can’t hear a thing. And it’s rude to interrupt.” Hisoka said in a somewhat clipped tone. 

“....”

Hisoka took off the gum from Mindy’s mouth.

“Hisoka, you **dick!** ” she coughed and took deep breaths. "You couldn't have just told me you wanted to talk?! I 

“This was more entertaining.”

Mindy looked up at him searchingly; after a minute her eyes fell to the ground and she let out a soft breath. Hisoka blinked curiously as she leaned forward, forehead resting against his chest. Her bangs tickled his skin.

“Why are you even here?"

"To inform you of what I'm expecting from you now if you want to live up to your potential and please me." Hisoka stated as if he was just listing off a bunch of items he needed her to pick up.

"I’m tired Hisoka. I...I was sad okay? It made me feel like shit thinking you wanted me dead, but not because you wanted to fight me...but just because you couldn’t stand me that much. Can't you at least pretend to understand what that feels like?”

“You’re too honest too. We'll never see eye to eye, will we?”

Mindy could feel Hisoka’s laughter as his chest shook; if she listened closely, she could hear his heartbeat. She was actually a bit surprised he had one.

“But you know, we do share the odd similarity or two. Despite everything, we are how we are and nothing can change that. Well, for the most part…” Hisoka let out a brief chuckle. “Mindy, don’t be embarrassed. I think it’s flattering you have a little crush on me.”

_“Huh?”_

Mindy looked up; Hisoka’s grin was downright sadistic.

_“Huh?!”_

His eyes held no anger or malice or even any hint of blood lust; they were simply amused and….maybe a bit fond? It was akin to how a person would look at a poor puppy dog whose head was trapped in a bucket, but the feeling was still there.

**“HUH?!”**

“Oh, there you go again. You really do get self conscious so easily.” Hisoka poked her nose.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Mindy practically thrashed to get some space between them. “I never said that! Are your ears stuffed with that gum shit? When did I _ever_ say that?!”

“You just said you were hurt when you perceived my reaction as rejection; you aren’t very subtle~”

“That doesn’t-let me go!”

Mindy yelped; the gum was suffocating and she had no idea how to get out of it. _“Dammit, maybe if I was manipulator or a conjurer I could do something to change it, but right now I can’t even move my limbs!”_

“This is so funny.” Hisoka looked down, his eyes were nearly slits from how hard he was smiling.

**“Hisoka, let me go!”**

“What if I don’t want to?”


	25. Omake: AxNightxOut

“Onna, you have to go up too!”

The second I pulled on her hand, I nearly let go. It felt so frail, but the look she shot me was anything but soft.

“As a matter of fact," she said tensely. "There is no rule stating it's mandatory to sing at karaoke.”

“Then why the hell did you come to karaoke? That's like going to a restaurant and only ordering water.”

“I thought it would be funny to watch you all fail.”

I narrowed my eyes at her in disbelief. “Okay...but seriously, you have to do at least one song!”

“Mindy, I’m a bit uncomfortable myself. I’m not much of a singer.” Wing rubbed the back of his head.

“Your voice isn’t so bad Master Wing.”

“Zushi, what do you-?”

“A few times I could hear you humming and half singing to yourself while meditating.” Zushi smiled apologetically. “I was going to say something, but I thought maybe you were doing it to help focus your mind.”

“Ooooh, that’s embarrassing.” Aro snickered. “Hey, do you use dance moves to influence your fighting style too?”

“Aro, don’t be a dick.” I smacked his shoulder lightly. “Wing, it doesn’t matter if your singing sucks or not, karaoke is just about having fun. Haven’t you ever heard a song you really liked and you just wanted to sing along to it?”

“No.”

“No.”

“No.”

“Eh.”

“I wasn’t even asking the rest of you!”

“Yeah, well, maybe you could’ve been more specific.” Aro shrugged.

“Yes, you shouldn’t be so vague.” Onna set down her water primly. “By the way, did you drink beforehand? You seem abnormally giddy about this...well, this.”

I frowned. “I just wanted us to all go out and do something fun; I’m not that great at it either, but I like singing and it’s more fun in a group.”

“If you wanted us to all do something fun together, then shouldn’t we have taken a vote?” Zushi asked.

“Oh...sorry, I didn’t think of that…” I looked at each of them. “So, none of you wanted to come?”

“Hey, don’t lump me in with these guys, I took five years of violin and voice training.” Aro mentioned.

“It’s hard to say no to you outright honestly.” Zushi added; Onna sent him a look.

“I said it. No one was listening to me.”

Wing looked at her with some exasperation. “You tend to mumble under your breath a lot around Mindy, no matter what the situation.”

“She gives me much to mumble about.”

“Okay, we’re already here and we paid for the room, so can’t we just try it?” I asked as I scrolled through the music choices. “Why don’t we sing as a group first? That way we all have a chance to warm up to it and it won’t feel as weird. Plus, it’ll keep us busy until our drinks get here and when that happens, we’ll be a bit too tipsy to care that much.”

“I can’t drink.”

“Zushi you just stick with soda, the caffeine will perk you right up.” I ruffled his hair.

“That sounds very irresponsible.” Wing frowned.

“Yeah, is this coming from someone teaching a kid to practically massacre people three times his age and size?” Aro pointed out as he climbed on the stage with me.

“Yes,” Onna looked contemplative. “Your slovenly appearance would also indicate your incompetence as a caregiver.”

“I’m his teacher!”

Aro adjusted his microphone. “Yeah, but doesn’t he live with you most of the time?”

“Wing, Onna, just get your asses up here; Aro, don’t goad them, the song’s gonna start.” I sighed and waited to press play as they each got their own microphone. “You all know this one, right?”

“I find it overplayed.”

Wing stepped beside Onna and scanned the title himself. “Oh yes, I’ve heard it. The screen shows us the lyrics anyway, right?”

“Yeah.” Aro answered. “It’s a piece of cake, anyone who can read can do this.”

Zushi looked up from his soda. “What if you can’t read?”

“Alright, song’s starting!” Aro exclaimed. “I’ll go first; don’t be too intimidated!”

The upbeat music began playing, and Aro grinned at me with bravado.

 _“I really wanna stop, but I just got a taste for it, I feel like I could fly with the ball on the moon.”_ Aro winked and spun a flabbergasted Onna in place. _“So honey hold my hand like you’re making me wait for it, feel like I could die walkin’ up to the room-_ take it Wing!”

“Uh-late night watching television, how’d we get in this position?” Wing was half singing, half talking in a subdued voice. “It’s way too soon, I know this isn’t love; but I need to tell you something-”

 _“I really, really, really, really, really, really like you!”_ I belted at the top of my lungs and linked arms with Aro; we swung around wildly to the chorus. Wing and Onna looked at each other briefly. _“And I want you, do you want me, do you want me too?”_

Onna sighed in defeat. _“It’s like everything you say is a sweet revelation, all I want to do is get into your head.”_ she blushed faintly as her voice drifted into a softer high note. _“We can stay alone, you and me and this temptation, sipping on your lips, hanging on by a thread-”_

“BABY!” Aro jumped in. _“Late night watching television, how’d we get in this position?”_

_“It’s way too soon, I know this isn’t love~but I need to tell you something~”_

This time all four of us joined in the chorus; Wing was tapping his foot lightly against the stage to keep time as Aro swayed his hips. Even Onna bobbed her head slightly; I laughed to myself as Zushi chimed in nervously from his chair.

_“I really, really, really, really, really, really like you.”_

I giggled and swayed back and forth myself. _“And I want you, do you want me? Do you want me too?”_

A hand gripped my own and tugged me back into something.

_“Who gave you eyes like that? Said you could keep them?”_

It was a smooth, low tone; the line was sung with a hint of playfulness. _“I don’t know how to act, the way I should be leaving.”_

“Huh?” I turned around; the hand lifted my chin to meet bright eyes.

 _“I’m running out of time, going out of my mind…”_ he leaned down to whisper. “I need to tell you something…”

My jaw dropped and I made an involuntary hacking sound as the next line caught in my throat.

“Don’t freeze up now, it’s time for the chorus~” Hisoka said as he twirled me around; I lost my footing and fell off the stage, nearly completely crushing a panicked Zushi.

“You know, I’m certain I’ve never heard of transmuters possessing the power of teleportation.” Wing stepped down to help up his student up; I slowly rose from the fallen mess of metal chairs, feeling like I just got knocked out of the ring.

“Yeah dude, who invited you?” Aro mumbled.

Onna placed her microphone back in the stand and gave a smug little smile. “See, I’m not the only one who does it.”

“Yeah, not helping.”

“Is it so hard to believe I like to take part in karaoke too?” Hisoka asked innocently.

I rubbed my head. “Actually, no, but that still doesn’t explain how you even got in here.”

“Oh, I have my ways.”

“Can we leave now?” Onna asked. “I feel decidedly unfestive.”

“Yes, I think we’ll call it a night as well.” Wing picked up the unconscious Zushi and followed fast after Onna.

“Wait, just one more song?!” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Aro move to the exit. “What, I thought you liked singing?”

“My legs are moving on their own!” Aro’s limbs were looking quite unnaturally stiff as he ran out the hallway; the door shut deftly, blocking out his cursing.

“Hisoka, bring him back!”

“Personally, I think he needs a few more lessons.” Hisoka smiled and released his Bungee Gum. “How about a duet?”

I slumped to the floor as Hisoka flipped through the song list.

“This place has a no refund policy; besides, you already bought the drinks didn’t you?”

I crossed my arms and looked away.

“.....I wanna sing ‘You Make Me Feel Like Dancing’.”

“That’s so dated.”

“Your mime shtick is dated!”

The hostess delivered our drinks, set the tray on the table, and walked straight out without a word.

“Great, ya know she’s not coming back anytime soon.” I scooped up my glass and took a swig. “Did you find the song?”

“Patience, this is supposed to be a nice duet~”

I grumbled around the rim of my cup. “Didn’t know mimes were allowed to sing….”

Hisoka let out a tired breath and searched for the song.

“Just drink your whiskey.”


	26. The Morning After

I felt my stomach lurch as a wicked smile played on Hisoka’s lips.

“Mindy-”

“Goddammit, stop fucking with me, I’m going to throw up!”

Hisoka made a noise of discontent. “Now that’s just mean.”

“No you **idiot** , I drank and ate too much earlier and if your stupid gum shit isn’t not squeezing my fucking stomach in two seconds-!”

“Keep yelling at me like that, I won’t do it.”

“Hisoka!” I shrieked. “Do you understand?! I’m going to get vomit all over you!” I shut my mouth tight and swallowed. “Oh, ah shit, I just felt a bit come up.”

“I don’t know how to feel about this.” Hisoka stroked his chin.

**“Hisoka?!**

“Calm down. I’m only teasing.”

As soon as Hisoka released me, I dashed to the bathroom and slammed the door shut. Hisoka winced at the retching sounds. On the other side of the door, I practically dunked my head in the bowl.

 _“Ugh, what a waste…”_ I groaned as I flushed the toilet and leaned against the side of the tub.

“Mindy?” he knocked on the door after a minute of silence. “Still alive?”

“Leave me alone!” I moaned and tried to push as much hair behind my neck as possible. “Hisoka, look, I’ll talk to you later, I’m really sick right now.”

“Sick? You’re drunk.”

“Hisoka-”

“Fine then.” he sighed. “But you have to answer one more question.”

I sighed and crawled over to the door. “Alright, what is it?”

Hisoka smiled and leaned back against the door. “Why doesn’t it bother you? You know, that I enjoy killing people?”

“Oh you do? I always thought you were talking about tennis.” I said dryly; Hisoka didn’t bother responding. I wiped the sweat from my forehead and tried to gather my thoughts.

“Look, what does it matter? It’s not as if you’d stop and I wouldn’t ask you. I just want you to leave me out of it.”

“You’re avoiding the question.”

“I don’t know...maybe I’m desensitized? I’ve only seen you do it once.”

“Kill?”

“No, needlepoint.” I snapped. “I just don’t feel much about it. I sometimes wonder why, but that’s the most-”

“Why? I find it thrilling.” Hisoka answered simply. “There’s not that much to it; I just love strong people. I love fighting them, seeing those with potential evolve, and the excitement that comes from breaking them.” Hisoka sighed dreamily. “It’s euphoric~”

“I guess I mean why you’re like this; you have to admit, it’s not every day you meet someone whose turn on is using cards and borderline magic to murder people.”

“Oh, I use many more methods than that.”

“I’ll be honest,” I shrugged and listened to Hisoka chuckle smoothly. “When it comes down to it, I just don’t really care enough. I guess that makes me a pretty shitty person, but I don’t have the energy. It’s not like we even see each other that much anyway.”

“You’re too honest; you should really try to play things closer to the vest.”

“Well, I don’t feel that way.” I told him resolutely. “Hisoka, can you go now? I just want to clean up and go to sleep.”

“Alright, alright.” Hisoka stepped away from the door. “I’ll come by same time tomorrow. Goodnight~”

“Goodnight. And lock the door on your way out.” I made sure the bathroom door was locked. _“How the hell did he get in here anyway…?”_

Hisoka made sure his footsteps were audible on the hardwood floor and then he opened the door, locked it, and closed it soundly.

Then he sat down at the kitchen table and flipped through the magazines; he masked his aura with zetsu and hummed softly as he leaned back in his chair.

_“She’s so gullible.”_

 

I put one hand halfway in the bathtub before stepping in; the water was just a inch from running over the rim of the tub, but I didn’t care. I was tired with a mild headache and the hot water and bubbles felt good; even throwing up most of the contents in my stomach had made me feel somehow better.

“ _Why don’t I care more? It’s not like I can exactly say I’m detached from it, he actually killed someone in front of me. I know what he’s capable of.”_

If anything, I had been more blaming of myself; but that was nothing new.

“ _This is nice...a little bit of privacy for once.”_ I rested my head back halfway in the water; the steam and the alcohol was making me a combination of light headed and boneless as I finally relaxed. It was getting harder to keep my eyes open.

_“I just need some sleep..."_   
  


**Third Person POV:**

“What’s taking her?” Hisoka wondered, bored as he tossed a magazine back on the table; he had already gone through all of them, had looked at the contents of the cabinets, played around with his deck, and contemplated how he was going to prank Mindy as soon as she fell asleep.

_“She is taking a long time….oh.”_

Hisoka blinked; he couldn’t sense her.

_“Oh my. That’s not good.”_

The second he opened the bathroom door, steam came pouring outside like a fog; just as he suspected, Mindy’s head was under the soapy water, air bubbles rising from her slightly opened mouth.

 _“Doesn’t she know better? It’s like she’s trying to deprive me of any fun. How am I supposed to fight her if she’s already dead from a stupid drowning accident?”_ Hisoka lifted her head above and she coughed, making water spurt from the side of her mouth. Her hair was a wet tangled mess and her cheeks had a high flush from the heat and the alcohol.

 _“Careless as always; it’s a wonder she’s even managed to stay alive so long.”_ Hisoka clicked his tongue and hefted her up in his arms. “And she’s getting my clothes wet too...where are her towels?”

Mindy didn’t stir despite his none too quiet talking; Hisoka studied her face. It looked slightly strained; his eyes glanced over her body. Her skin from the head down was tinted red from the water, slick and wet.

_“There should be a towel around here somewhere.”_

Yet Hisoka didn’t tear his eyes away just yet; he had never seen Mindy like this before and it was odd. He could see exactly how plump she was without any form hiding clothes on, could clearly see the shape of her breasts and uncovered shoulders, the mole just under the left thigh, a thin cut under her right knee from what he presumed was from shaving, and much more.

 _“She’s heavier than I thought, but it looks like she’s still keeping up with her muscle exercises.”_ Hisoka poked her belly with a playful grin, his finger sinking a bit into her flesh and the sharp nail leaving a slight indent. _“Does she still favor that one cookie brand? Looks like it"_

 It struck him what was so strange. Mindy looked almost frail. Vulnerable; it was both disconcerting and unfavorable. Weak did not suit her. 

He looked up and saw a towel hanging on a hook. _“Now how did I miss that?”_

After patting her down dry carefully (he didn’t want to risk another misunderstanding, though in his opinion, she should be grateful) he left her naked on her bed.

 _“Misunderstanding...I’ve got it.”_ A light bulb in Hisoka’s head went off as he carelessly threw Mindy’s blanket over her. _“This is perfect~”_

Before he turned off the lamplight, he caught sight of Mindy’s face; she was crying and her hands were twitching.

 _“A nightmare?”_ Hisoka turned off the light. _“I can’t help be curious, but she’d die before telling me. Oh well.”_

 

**First Person POV:**

“Ma,” I began tentatively. “You shouldn’t have; he’ll just come back.”

My mother was sitting on the sagging couch, looking at her hands; her limp hair was covering her face and I wished she would just say something so I could know what was going through her head. My trembling was restrained until it just made my teeth rattle.

“Honey, thank you for doing the dishes.”

“It’s no problem.” I said gently, wiping my wet hands off on the towel as I waited for her to speak.

“He won’t come back; he knows I’m out of money.”

I frowned angrily. “He knows when you get paid.”

“Mindy, I’m doing everything I can!”

I felt my heart sink at the cracking in her voice; I knew she couldn’t bring herself to force him to leave. I couldn’t, despite my resentment. He was sick, not right in the head; he wouldn't do what he did if he was sober. He was my dad.

I still loved him.

"Dammit, I'm not getting any help!"

I recoiled at my mom's harsh tone and uneven sobs; I felt sick. I really was trying to help all I could, but what more could I do if she wouldn't make him go? But she wasn't trying to hurt me; she thought it was better to stay together. She was my mom.

And I still loved her.

“I’m sorry.” My mom managed to get out after a minute of crying into her hands. “I don’t-”

“Mom, it’s okay, I know.” I said weakly; my body was shaking now. Here she was struggling and I was making her feel worse.

“Did he take your change?”

I recalled my cut up piggy bank; he had actually bought it for me to save money. To be accurate, it was the second one; both had been slashed open with a kitchen knife and thrown away, never to be mentioned again.

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay Ma. I’ll be out of high school soon; I can get a job.” I took a seat next to her. “I won’t tell him when I get paid.”

“I had to give it to him or he’d take the car.”

“I know.”

We had tried to call the police before; they either sided with him or didn’t come at all. At the most he would spend a night in jail.

And then come back angry.

My mom would leave for work early, stay late, and I’d go to school; when I got out, I would walk around until the last second before I had to be home. Rinse, lather, repeat.

“We’ll be okay.” I stifled my tears as she hugged me; I knew he would just come back after he came down from his high. For now, we could go to bed though and try to sleep; we might even joke about it in the morning. It was really all we could do.

“Goodnight honey, I love you.”

“Love you too Ma.”

My mom was still sitting on the couch when I fell asleep; it was our routine for as long as I could remember, maybe every night since I was old enough to sweep and scrub.

So how would I have known she would be gone the next morning without so much as a note?

My dad did eventually come back later that night; I remembered thinking that maybe this would be a wake up call. We could start over, just the two of us, and get better together. We could be a family and maybe, just maybe, she would even come back, and then-

“Where's your mom?”

“I don’t know.”

He stuck around a few days, trashing things and looking for money; I stayed outside most of the time.

Then a week later, he had left too.

 _“Mom…”_ I started cleaning up the mess; I didn't bother to call out for him. I knew it was over.

_“Ma, please...I don’t know what to do.”_

But as usual, life would go on, whether I was ready or not. And so, I found a job at the convenience store and rented a cheaper apartment a street down. Sometimes I would stop and look at the old house on my jogs to and from work and remember.

  
  
  
  
I woke up, and for a moment, I forgot I was older and in a different time and place. A wave of relief washed over me as I turned in bed and held the blanket closer to myself. I let the tears fall until I felt calmer; I could let go here at least. 

“They’re gone...it’s over and I need to just keep going. I’m happy now. It’s okay…”

“Mindy?” Came a groggy voice; I felt something heavy fall on my waist and stay there. “Did you have a bad dream?”

My red rimmed eyes snapped open and I moved over, simultaneously realizing the only thing keeping me covered was my sheets.

“Good morning!”

I stared blankly at Hisoka; his hair fell around his eyes slightly and his makeup was wiped away. He yawned and pulled me back down with a tug.

“Go back to sleep will you? It’s far too early and I’m still tired from last night.”

“You prick.” I hissed and threw off his arm, making sure to keep the sheet tight around me as I found my clothes.

Hisoka lounged back on one of my pillows, stark naked for anyone to see. “Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Don’t be so grumpy.”

“Hisoka, this is the most fucked up shit you’ve pulled. I remember everything that happened last night. I was drunk, not stupid.”

I went behind the closet door to pull on my clothes. “You asshole, I can’t believe-no, I can believe it!” I came back and tossed the blanket over him. “And can you put some fuckin’ pants on, this isn’t fucking Chip n’ Dales.”

“We spend a passionate night together and all you have to say to me is this? You’re heartless.” Hisoka shook his head in disappointment, but if he thought I was going to buy it, he had another think coming.

 _“Did he see? Who am I kidding, of course he did.”_ I turned around and began picking up his clothes. _“Who wears this many arm band things? Alright, calm down, Hisoka won’t say anything; he’s not exactly the guy to go for to talk about crying and trauma and shit. Dammit, he’s ripped...why are all the hot guys either crazy or assholes?”_

“Mindy? I did carry you back to your room the other night.” Hisoka huffed as I threw his clothes at him. “I’d think you could show some hospitality.”

“You broke in and tried to prank me into thinking we had sex; I think that cancels it out.”

“Well, when you put it like that, it sounds so awful.”

“Hisoka, get dressed, and go home or...wherever you go.” I frowned as a thought came to me. “Oh no. No, no, no!

“What?”

“Don’t tell me you don’t have a place to stay?” I put a hand to my face.

“I did sort of just come into town.” Hisoka twirled a finger in his hair. “I was only trying to have fun…”

“You have a fucked up sense of humor.”

“Can I poke your stomach?”

“What?”

“It reminds me of a marshmallow.”

I stared at him, moving my lips soundlessly as I tried to figure out what the hell was happening and why.

“No then?” Hisoka stood up and I covered my eyes. “Why are you doing that?”

“I don’t want to see that!”

Hisoka just smirked. “I knew you were the inexperienced type, but I had no idea just me being like this would fluster you so much~”

“Huh?” I wanted to look at him incredulously. “I have dated before you know; just because I’m not an exhibitionist, doesn’t mean I’m a nun.”

I sighed and waited for the rustling of clothes; how long could he stand there naked just to unnerve me?

“Hisoka? Hey-” I froze; or more accurately, the room’s atmosphere had dropped to negative zero. I lowered my hand. 

Hisoka was staring at me with dull eyes.

_“His blood lust? Why?! Is someone else here?”_

_“_ And your first scar came from that woman. Seems I've been left out of a good number of firsts for my toy...”

I frowned. “You mean Onna-hey, what do you mean toy?!”

He ignored me and took a hold of his pants, pulling out a single playing card.

“It’s not fair.”

“Hisoka-HEY!” I fell on my backside and grabbed the side of my neck. “That fucking **hurt!”**

“There we go.” Hisoka went to retrieve his card that had been lodged into the drywall.

“What was that for?!”

“I wanted to.” Hisoka crouched down in front of me and smiled, his legs spread apart to-

“Dammit, put some pants on!” I covered my eyes in horror. “I’ll let you stay here until you find a place, just-!”

“It’s perfect.”

I felt cold fingers trace my cut; Hisoka swiped a drop of blood and brought it to his lips. “You really are quite adorable when you’re scared. Is that why you were crying? Did you have a nightmare?”

I backed away and stood up. “I have to get ready for work; there’s food in the kitchen, help yourself, and don’t go through my shit.”

**Third Person POV:**

_“What’s she hiding?”_ Hisoka drummed his nails against the bedside table, not bothering to turn on the light in the dimmed room; he truly did feel a bit tired, so he decided to just lounge around some more. _“She’s usually so talkative.”_ Hisoka hugged one of the pillows and settled in.

 _“She’s keeping secrets from me...”_ Hisoka yawned and pulled the blanket over himself while he was at it; he knew if Mindy was there she would have some smart remark to make, probably something along the lines of ‘Well, aren’t you making yourself at home’ or ‘I guess being an asshole takes a lot out of you’.

But this sudden secretive nature wasn't going to cut it; she was forgetting her place and if he was going to make any progress in convincing her to see things his way, he needed to know her more...intimately.

Hisoka smiled to himself. _“I'll get my answers later; this bed is quite comfortable.”_


	27. Leaving New Scars

**Author's Note: From here on out some of the story's chapters will contain explicit sexual content, so be warned.**  
  
  
  
“Aro, don’t come over for a while okay? If we want to hang out, we gotta do it at your place.” I said the second I settled into my seat.

“Why?” Aro was midway through eating some candy; he thought sugary snacks would keep him more alert in class.

“I have a guest over.”

“Oh, is it one of your relatives or something?”

“A cousin from my old neighborhood. They need a place to stay for a bit, but they’re super annoying and obnoxious, so I’d rather not have them bug you.” I lied easily; I rehearsed the story several times in my head.

Aro nodded. “Yeah, if you say so. This is kind of weird..."

"Weird?"

"You know, you don’t talk much about your family.”

“There’s not much to tell. You don’t talk that much about yours either.” I pointed out. “I just know they’re both big names and have money.”

“Yeah, I guess I don't....it’s not that they’re bad parents,” Aro said hurriedly and finished chewing a piece of chocolate. “They wanted the best for me, so they sheltered me a lot; I couldn’t take it anymore. They threw a fit when I told them I wasn’t going to one of their schools.”

“This college is pretty good."

“Yeah, but the other ones are under their influence. Not to mention I’d probably get special treatment for just being related to two legacies.” Aro sighed. “I wanted to get my grades honestly this time around; it took some convincing, but they felt bad for spoiling me all these years when they were just trying to help."

"So they agreed and let you come here." I smiled. "Well, that's a step in the right direction right?"

"Exactly. The only condition was that they would pay my expenses until I was done here, but if I messed up, they wouldn’t bail me out. And of course, I’d need to find a job and support myself at some point.”

I nodded. “That sounds reasonable; was it hard to talk to them about it?”

“Yeah..but when graduation came around, I couldn’t help start thinking about the future...how I didn’t really know how to do anything. My friends, my teachers, none of them had any real respect for me.” Aro said, averting his eyes from mine. “It was my name that let me get away with things.”

“You realized it at least. You decided to change and be independent; that can be really scary for most people.” I told him gently. “You could still be using your parent’s money and reputation, but you’re not.”

“Yeah, I know. I was such an ass back then though. I feel ashamed just thinking about it.” Aro smiled self deprecatingly. “If I ever get that way again, smack me upside the head, will you?”

“Sure thing.” I laughed and pulled out my notes just in time for the teacher to step in.

“Shit.”

“What?”

Aro blushed. “Yeah...I forgot my book.”

I rolled my eyes and scooted our desks together. “Don’t worry, this is just help from a friend; you can borrow this after class too, I already took notes on this chapter by mistake.”

“Thanks!”

“ _Thank god Aro is easily distracted…”_ I could barely pay any attention to the class; once it was over me and Aro parted ways and I left for my work. I was relieved though, despite knowing what most likely awaited me at home.

I cringed as my phone rang. “ _Please don’t be him.”_

“Hello?”

“Mindy?”

It was Wing.

"Oh hey." I tried to sound cheerful.

“Hello, I just wanted to call to make sure you’re okay. I apologize if we were overstepping ourselves last time.”

“No, it’s fine. Actually, I have some...good news?”

“You sound uncertain.”

I took a deep breath. “Well, it turns out Hisoka wasn’t trying to kill me; he actually saved me from drowning in my bathtub yesterday.”

“What?!”

“Yeah, it’s a long story. Basically, he only choked me ‘cause I said his name in my sleep and he wanted me to stop. I don’t know,” I rubbed my temple. “I’ve stopped trying to figure him out. As long as he doesn’t plan on murdering me at random, I don’t care.”

“Mindy, where are you now? Where’s Hisoka?”

“Well, that’s the bad news. He needed a place to stay, so-”

“Are you crazy?!”

“You know what, yeah! I’m crazy for not letting someone sleep out in the streets!” I noticed people were staring and went into an alley to finish the conversation. “Wing, he’s not going to hurt me. If he wanted me dead, he would’ve let me drown.”

I could hear Wing’s heavy sigh over the receiver. “You shouldn’t be so trusting of him.”

“I’m not, believe me…”

“Look, is he over there still? We can come by-”

“Wing, it’s fine, I don’t want any fighting shit; Hisoka will stay one night and be on his way. Until then, we’ll stay out of each other’s ways too.”

I hung up after many more reassurances and sighed tiredly.

“ _At least I have a night shift; maybe Hisoka will even be gone before I come back. He hates staying in one place for long.”_

**Third Person POV:**

“ _I might stay here for a bit longer.”_

Hisoka had long ago made use of the shower and the laundry machines to clean his clothes; after snooping through some of Mindy’s things (finding nothing of interest, unfortunately), he had decided to make himself dinner, not sure when she would be back.

 _“It’s getting late; I wonder what she does for work?”_ Hisoka turned on the television just so there would be some background noise as he made himself rice and beef.

“ _I’m sure she won’t mind; she can just buy more later.”_ Hisoka sat down at the table and began eating. “My, my, it sure is boring around here…”

As if on cue, the home phone began ringing.

“ _Who even has one of these?_ ” Hisoka cocked his head and waited for the ringing to stop _. “Hm, Mindy would get one just in case."_

A few seconds later the ringing started again and Hisoka grew curious; at any rate, he had nothing else to do. He picked up the phone and just listened.

“Hey, Mindy?”

“ _It’s that boy again._ ” Hisoka looked at the phone with a sly grin. “ _I think I’ve just found my entertainment for the evening.”_

“Hello, who is this?”

“Uh, I’m Aro. I’m a friend of Mindy’s from school. She let me borrow her book and I was just-”

“She’s busy right now. I’m afraid she was quite tired after tonight’s activities.”

There was a brief silence.

“She told me her cousin was over...are you him?”

“Cousin? No, I’m afraid not. It’s just me and her.”

“Yeah?”

Hisoka smiled; now all he had to do was deliver the final punch.

“Yes, I came over for a date. I am Mindy’s lover, didn’t she tell you about me? That’s just like her, she’s probably too embarrassed to tell anyone I was spending the night.”

“I see. I’m sorry for disturbing you.”

“Not at all, I’ll let her know you rang. I’d love to talk more, but I really should go back, she’s probably getting lonely in our room all by herself. Have a good evening Aro~”

Hisoka hung up with a satisfied smile; he would’ve have paid a million jenny to see that boy’s face. Joking aside, someone like that was no good for Mindy; how was she ever going to satisfy him if she was stagnated?

_“All that potential will go to waste….she’ll be as useless as everyone else.”_

As a matter of fact, they had some serious talking to do when she got home.

**First Person POV:**

No sooner than I had closed up the cafe, my cell phone was vibrating in my pocket.

“Oh hey-”

“Mindy, I need to talk to you.”

“Uh sure Aro.” I felt a sense of dread come over my mood. “Did something happen?”

“Did you really mean it when you said you didn’t want to date anyone because you didn’t feel ready? Did you just say that because you pitied me? Did you give me an open answer to string me along?”

Aro sounded pained and I felt my hands grow cold.

“No! Aro, what are you talking about?”

“Please, just answer me straight! I need to know you’re not that kind of person…”

“I wasn’t lying! Where the hell is this coming from, I’m not dating anybody.”

I heard a huge sigh on the other end.

“I wanted to hear it from you. I called your place...this guy answered and said he was your lover or something. Mindy, what’s going on?”

_“He’s dead.”_

“Dammit, that was my cousin.” I said tiredly, playing the role of exasperated family member. “Look, I told you he’s an annoying dick. He’s always pulling shitty pranks like that.”

“Oh.” Aro laughed in relief. “Oh god, I’m sorry Mindy. I-”

“No, it’s fine, he’s the one who tricked you. Thank you for coming right to me for answers.” I said quickly. “I’m on my way home; I’ll talk to you later okay?”

“Sure, have a good night!”

**Third Person POV:**

Mindy arrived at her apartment in no time; she had practically ran there, she was so angry.

“Hisoka!” she slammed the door shut behind her; Hisoka was slouched on the couch eating her favorite cookies and watching some cartoon.

“Oh, you’re finally back.”

Mindy glared. “You need to leave.”

Hisoka let the cookie drop from his mouth. “Hm? What happened to you?”

“How could you tell my friend that?! He thought I was some lying bitch because of you!”

“Well, he shouldn’t believe everything he hears.”

“Hisoka-” Mindy clenched her teeth to keep in a scream of frustration. “You’re ruining everything."

“No, I’m trying to help. You’ll never grow if you keep this up.”

“Keep what up?” Mindy snarled.

“Why are you doing this? Going to that school, your job, hanging around weaklings? You're stronger than anyone in this city, you do realize that, don’t you my dear? Devote your time to training, enhance your skills and meet your potential.” he gave her a little pout. "If you don't I'll simply go mad..."

“I don't care. I’m going to school so I can be a Trouble Hunter!”

“Seriously?”

“You wouldn’t understand.” Mindy shook her head. “It's none of your business. I'm going to do what I want; I don’t care how powerful I can be for your amusement.”

“It’s that boy isn’t it?”

“Aro?”

Hisoka smiled knowingly. “Is that it? Do you want to stay here and get married? Maybe have a few little brats running around as you help people with their petty problems?”

“Shut up. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Am I wrong?”

“I can’t even have kids!” Mindy said with a scowl. “Look, I want to go to school and after that I'm planning on traveling around the world to help people.”

“Everything here is just a distraction.” Hisoka concluded. “I still remember the way your eyes burned that day...you attacked with so much brute force, it was earth shaking...I nearly lost myself all together.”

“Stop it!” Mindy told him in disgust.

“You don’t need any of this. You can do so much more. I can teach you; we could spend our time testing our limits and one day, we can come together, two combatants on par with one another. I would savor every second.”

“Yeah, sounds like fun.”

“If I kill you, I’d preserve your body. I could even put in glass eyes a different color if you’d like~” Hisoka stood up suddenly; Mindy found herself looking at him with a petrified stare as he took her hand and knelt down. He smiled up at her with slavish eyes.

“Staying here would ruin your future. As you are, you’re becoming utterly useless to me...I can’t bear to let you turn to trash, another nobody who falls short of my expectations.” His thumb traced over Mindy’s knuckles, eyes traveling to the cut around her neck. It would be deep enough to scar and best of all, it was more visible than that ugly gash on her side.

“You said you admired me; you were sad thinking I was going to hurt you. I will do it again if I find you’re not up to my standards my dear.”

“Leave.”

“I beg your pardon?”

Mindy snatched her hand away, but she didn’t look angry. Her expression was perfectly calm as she opened the front door. “I’m not changing for you or anyone else...so just leave.”

Hisoka walked forward slowly; once he reached the door, he gently tugged it from Mindy’s hand and closed it shut. She stared at him vaguely as he backed her into the wall, a hand coming up to cup her face.

“Is that so?”

Mindy looked away, but allowed his hand to stay where it was. “Did it ever cross your mind I didn’t want to fight anymore?”

“Yes. It disappoints me very much.” Hisoka leaned in next to her ear. “Did you know, you usually answer a question with a question when you want to avoid answering?”

Mindy flinched as he smoothed his tongue over her neck and across her cut. She was frozen in place, yet she couldn’t sense his Bungee Gum being used.

She just couldn’t bring herself to move away.

“Hisoka, what do you want from me?”

“Everything.” Hisoka bit down on her skin, causing the barely healed cut to open up and bleed. “Is that so much to ask for?”

“I’m going to regret this…” Mindy threaded one hand in his hair and leaned her head back; Hisoka had one hand on the back of her neck and the other arm wrapped around her waist. He pulled away and scooped her up.

His arms actually felt good and she was past caring for the moment as he carried her to her bed.

“Maybe. This is spontaneous, isn’t it? Let’s enjoy it for now.”

Mindy fell to the bed; Hisoka was making quick work of his clothes and she eyed him with some irritation.

“It’s not fair for you to still be dressed.” Hisoka lowered himself to the bed and hovered over her.

“Okay….how ‘bout we turn off the light first?”

Hisoka frowned. “I have seen you naked, you realize that right?”

“In that case, why do you need to see it now?” Mindy grumbled. “And why the hell are you so ripped anyway?”

Hisoka yanked one of her hands toward his torso. “Wouldn't you like to play a bit before we get down to the main course?”

Mindy made a sound of discomfort. “Look, I’ll be honest, you don’t want to see this while we’re doing it. Just turn off the light and-”

“I said I want everything.” Hisoka set to work tearing Mindy’s uniform to shreds, ignoring her outburst as the fabric tugged painfully at her skin. “Much better.”

Mindy averted her eyes and Hisoka rolled his.

“It’s not a big deal; honestly, you’re being childish.” he smirked and pulled her up until she was pressed against him completely. “Besides, you’re soft...I just want to squeeze you until you pop open.”

“Well, you ruined that moment.” Mindy laughed despite the morbid tidbit and kissed his lips. “But thanks anyhow.”

Hisoka looked her over; he didn’t know where he wanted to start first.

“Hisoka?”

“These are cute.” Hisoka pinched one nipple lightly; he chuckled as Mindy moaned. “Is this your favorite spot? I’ll keep myself occupied with them~”

He dove down and suckled one breast as he rolled the other nipple in his hands; he alternated every few seconds, rocking his hips into Mindy’s as she wrapped her legs around him.

“ _She’s already wet...how long has it been since she was first taken? She must be tight.”_ Hisoka bit down again on the cut and Mindy squealed. _“I may not be her first, but I’m going to be her last_.”

“Hisoka!" Mindy cried out as he nudged the head of his erection into her. “Put it in...I want it…”

“Not yet.” he pulled back abruptly and slipped two fingers inside her, relishing her scream. “You put me through a lot in our fight...I wanted to slam you down on the floor and relieve myself right there.”

Mindy ran her hands up and down his back as he pumped his fingers. “More….more!”

Hisoka pressed his thumb directly on her clit and grinned as she writhed on his hand.

“Beg.”

“Please...” Mindy threw her arms around him and nibbled on the rim of his ear. “Can I ride you?”

“By all means, if you want me so badly~” Hisoka removed his hand and laid back on the bed. “I’m waiting.”

“You’re the one who’s being impatient about all of this.” Mindy lowered herself down painfully slow, her little whimpers only serving to make Hisoka’s control ebb away more by the minute. “Oh god…”

“Go ahead my dear, have fun~” Hisoka moaned as Mindy canted her hips just so as she rode him; he could hear her whimpers amplified. His eyes flew open as she leaned over and bit down on his nipple harshly.

“I had no idea you’d be so bold ” Hisoka gasped in delight; she blushed heavily and tugged on his hair, bringing their lips together. She swiped her tongue all along his mouth while she ground herself on top of him, shamelessly seeking some relief. It was only a minute later Hisoka felt her hips twitching weakly as Mindy moaned softly, riding out her orgasm and body growing limp as she nearly fell.

“Shh, that’s a good girl…” Hisoka flipped her over on her knees and grabbed a handful of her ass. “Don’t fall asleep now. I’m not done yet…”

“Ah!” Mindy shrieked as he slammed back inside her; she was too sensitive for this position. 

“Go on, scream for me.” Hisoka panted as Mindy clawed at the pillows, raising her back side up to him like an offering; he reached under her to squeeze at her breasts. “Did you ever think we’d end up here? I’ve been thinking of claiming your dead body for months, but having you like this?"

“S-sorry for living.” Mindy managed to ground out as he gripped her hips tight enough to hurt. _“He’s really sick…this is sick, isn't it...?”_

“We can go to new heights together...nothing will get in our way.” Hisoka moaned softly as he changed his pace to slow, but brutal thrusts that sent Mindy lurching forward. “We can live our lives to the fullest until the day one of us kills the other…”

“Hisoka...fuck me harder…” Mindy was lost in a daze, purposefully sinking into the pleasure to avoid talking about the future. “I want to feel it inside me…”

Hisoka chuckled breathlessly. “So demanding...but this is a two way street. I want you to scream my name when I cum inside you.” he pulled out, threw her on her back, raised her legs over his shoulders, and plunged right back inside within seconds. “And you better damn well keep your eyes on me.”

“Hisoka, Hisoka, Hisoka!” Mindy chanted desperately; his hips were ramming against hers so forcefully, the resounding slaps echoed in the otherwise silent room. It was becoming too much. “I want it. Please, come inside me…I want to feel it spilling out….please, just-!”

Hisoka exhaled sharply and continued to rock back and forth; he buried his face in her neck, biting down once more and lapping up the bleeding cut as he stiffened inside her. Mindy held him and stroked his damp hair as he came down from his high, slumped against her body and giggling to himself softly.

“What’s this?” his hand poked the one she had in his hair.

“Nothing.”

“I’m not an animal for you to pet.” Hisoka tiredly slapped her hand away.

Mindy shrugged. “That was pretty animal like, the way you were fucking me.”

Hisoka laid down on one side of the bed. “I don’t love you.”

Mindy blinked. “Okay….so, are you leaving tomorrow?”

“Why?”

“I thought maybe you’d want to leave. Look, I’m not expecting anything. Personally, I’m a cuddler, but-” she shrugged again. “I bet you’re ready to go now, huh?”

“What does that mean?”

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” Mindy asked point blank. “I won’t fight with you or against you. So this must be all you wanted left.”

“If you thought that, why did you let me-?”

“I wanted it too. I don’t hate you ya know…it’s nothing more than relieving yourself too, right?” Mindy asked as she relaxed into the bed. “We’re both in the same boat, aren’t we?”

Hisoka didn’t say a word, but Mindy decided to let it drop. They both knew what this was after all; after a moment of consideration, Hisoka rolled over and turned off the light.

_“No, we’re not.”_


	28. Secrets Revealed

Mindy was the first to wake up.

“Heh...heheh…” she tried to cover her mouth; Hisoka had heard her anyway and slowly opened his own eyes against the grogginess.

“Good morning.”

“Hehe-ah-hahahaha!” Mindy’s subdued chuckles turned into riotous laughter as she collapsed back onto the bed. “Oh my god, I-I’m sorry, you’re just-ah hahahahaha!”

Hisoka raised an eyebrow. “What in the world is so amusing?”

“Your face!”

Mindy took out her phone and held the screen up to his line of vision so Hisoka could see his reflection; his makeup had smeared across his cheeks and his hair was sticking out this way and that.

“I’m glad you find my face so amusing.”

Mindy spat out a long held guffaw, almost spitting in his face. “Holy shit, I’m sorry, really, I just-ow!”

Hisoka smiled as Mindy doubled over holding her lower abdomen.

“Dammit, I think you hit my cervix last night.”

“Serves you right for goading me.” Hisoka made Mindy lay back down completely and rubbed circles on the sides of her waist. “Doesn’t it feel kind of nice? My hips ache in the most pleasant way~”

“I guess.” Mindy admitted with a coy smile.

“Next time I’ll clean off my face paint.”

“Eh, okay.”

Hisoka cocked his head to the side. “What is it?”

“I don’t know, I kind of like it. It’s very...you.” Mindy put a finger to her lips. “In a eerie way, but it’s still you, so I guess I don’t mind.”

“That was oddly nice.” Hisoka ran a hand through my somewhat greasy hair. “Your bangs look weird right now; one side of your hair is sticking up...how is it doing that?”

“It sort of molds into a shape if pressed a certain way. What about your makeup? Doesn’t it take awhile to put it on every day?”

“I don’t wear it every day. Besides, it only takes a few minutes.” Hisoka pecked her lips and bit the bottom one with a sly grin. “I want to see your mouth smeared with lipstick.”

“Oh brother. Anyway, I’m going to go make breakfast.” Mindy hopped up from the bed and slipped on her underwear and a sweater. “You can use the shower if you want.”

“Care to join me?”

“Oh, okay.” Mindy blinked and went to the bathroom; she was wondering what was happening. Hisoka’s mood was a bit hard to read, but on the whole he hadn’t said anything very creepy or unnerving at all. Yet.

Mindy stepped to one side of the shower to shampoo her hair as Hisoka let the water rinse off his face.

“Sorry it’s a bit cramped.”

“No problem at all.” Hisoka turned around and swiped his wet bangs off his face. “I think the setting is perfect for another round.”

“I don’t know, I’m pretty sore. I shouldn’t push it.”

Hisoka pulled a long face as Mindy bent down to put back the shampoo; and then that expression was replaced with surprise as she got down on her knees in front of him.

“What are you doing?”

“Helping you out.” Mindy smiled wryly and licked the tip of his half hard member; Hisoka rested against the tile of the shower wall as she slowly encased him in her mouth.

“No biting now my dear.” Hisoka murmured as Mindy dragged her teeth gently around him; she had over half of his erection inside, making sure the roof of her mouth was rubbing along his shaft as her tongue swirled around the tip.

Hisoka grabbed the back of her head and rocked his hips forward while Mindy sucked in her cheeks periodically.

“That’s it,” Hisoka sighed and let his eyelids fall closed. “That’s it…”

Mindy pulled back slightly, the sudden release of his shaft making a popping sound as it slipped out.

“I can feel it throbbing…” she kissed the side and sucked on a vein. “I love it.”

Hisoka’s hips jerked forward, trying to find his way back into her mouth.

“I’m close; just a bit more.”

Hisoka tried to use his hand to give himself some relief, but Mindy smacked it away and swallowed him whole.

“Ah!” Hisoka used both hands to grasp her hair, but then he felt her forcefully pull back once more at the last second. “Mindy, what-?”

Her cheeks were pink; she was looking up at him almost shyly.

“I want you to cum inside me again...”

Mindy yelped as she was yanked up and practically thrown against the wall as Hisoka hefted her up onto his length.

“Then take it. Scream for me.”

Hisoka hissed as he pummeled his length in and out of her, his own orgasm seconds away. Mindy writhed and hung on his shoulders, moaning loudly; her face was twisted in a mix of pain and pleasure. Hisoka knew his thrusts were bordering on downright painful, but he didn’t care. She had requested this and he was going to make sure she could feel him the rest of the day.

“You won’t move today without remembering this.” Hisoka breathed into her ear. “Sorry, but you did ask for me…”

“I don’t care.” Mindy whispered roughly between mewls; she nipped his ear and the vulnerable skin between his neck and shoulder. “I love it when you fuck me like this….come as hard in me as you want…”

Hisoka smiled with uninhibited lust.

“What a good toy you can be when you set your mind to it.”

Mindy cried out as she was pressed further into the wall; Hisoka’s body was flush against hers and he slammed up into her.

“Do you get that? If not, I’ll make it clear right now. I’m not nearly finished with you yet.”

Nothing mattered as much as that moment in time, not fighting or killing, or her potential to be worthy of his attention; just the stinging pain of Mindy’s nails stabbing into his back and the warm softness of her pussy sucking him in. All that mattered was his own impending orgasm and that she was crying for him; he was one step closer to his prize.

“Hisoka, please...dammit, I can’t take it anymore!” Mindy begged him desperately. “Please-!”

She was shut up as he smashed his lips against hers in what could hardly be described as a kiss; it was more like he was attempting to eat her from the inside out as she felt his seed drip out on her thighs. Hisoka sucked her tongue and smirked inwardly at her muffled whimpers, staying inside her as the hot water cascaded over his back.

“Hisoka…” Mindy mumbled as she tried to stand on her own; he pulled out and held her under the water, noticing her shaking thighs with some satisfaction as she was rinsed clean.

Hisoka hummed. “Did you-?”

“No, but that’s okay. I just like how it feels inside honestly...” Mindy smiled sheepishly and pushed her wet hair from her face. “That was pretty hot, the whole picking me up thing. Were you planning that?”

“It just came to me. I was inspired.” Hisoka chuckled.

Mindy stepped out of the shower first and toweled off quickly before getting dressed. “I’m going to make something to eat. You want anything?”

“Whatever you make should be fine.” Hisoka said carelessly as he went back to her room to find his clothes.

Mindy was already nearly done with frying sausage and eggs when Hisoka came into the kitchen silently as a cat; she started as she felt arms as strong as steel bands embrace her.

“Do we have milk?”

“Yeah, there should be some in the fridge. Oh shit, hold on,” Mindy turned off the stove before the eggs could burn. “Okay, the heat was too high.”

“Don’t burn the house down.” Hisoka poured himself a glass and threw out the empty milk container. “And you’re out of milk.”

“Thanks for the update.” Mindy drawled as she fixed herself a plate and a cup of juice. “Hey, when are you leaving?”

Hisoka paused just as he was about to make his own plate. “Leaving?”

“Yeah, I need to get more groceries soon and if you’re staying another day or two, I’ll pick up extra stuff.”

“I haven’t found a place yet.” Hisoka told her as he sat down at the table.

“Alright, how long do you think it’ll take? A week?”

“In a hurry to get rid of me?”

Mindy blinked. “Hisoka, is everything okay? You seem kinda...off.”

“You let that whelp stay until the late hours of night, but you’re just itching to get me out of here. Are you having second thoughts?”

Mindy set down her fork looking genuinely puzzled; just a few minutes ago they were having a civil breakfast and now he was observing her coldly. “About what? Look, I don’t mind if you need to stay here a bit longer, I just need to know if I have to get extra food and shit.”

“I don’t believe you.” Hisoka gave her a tight lipped smile. “I think you’re regretting what we did and you want me gone.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Why would I regret it, nothing happened.”

“I think something happened.”

“Yeah, but we were just having fun, like you said.” Mindy replied calmly. “Hisoka, I already told you, it’s not like I’m asking you to put a ring on my finger.” she smiled dryly and took a drink of her juice.

“Oh yes, that privilege must be reserved for the brat.”

“Don’t talk call him that. If anything you’re the one acting like a brat right now.” Mindy took her unfinished plate to the sink.

Hisoka fixed her with a empty gaze.

“What?”

“Are you staying here?”

“I guess; I have the day off-”

“You misunderstand me. Are you going to leave here?”

“I already told you.”

Hisoka frowned deeply. “I thought you might have reconsidered. You told me you loved what we did; you begged for me, you-”

“So what?! We had sex, I never said I was going with you!” Mindy said angrily. “Hisoka, the whole time we’ve known each other all you’ve done is either dismiss me or try to make me into what **you** want. I don’t want to quit trying to be a Trouble Hunter, I don’t want to stop talking to my friends, and I don’t want to leave with you!”

She growled in frustration as he just stared at her blankly; for a second, she thought maybe things were different. Maybe he'd even just let the matter drop. How dumb was that?

“I don't have a 'crush' on you and even if I did, I’m not going to just drop everything in my life to follow you around! Hisoka,” Mindy sighed and looked around helplessly. “We have nothing in common. We can’t go anywhere together; you said it yourself, you lose interest quickly and you’re fickle. You’ll get bored with me in a day….we don’t know a thing about each other.”

“I want you to tell me about your family.”

“...what?”

“Why don’t you want to talk about them?”

“There’s no point; and by the way, you’re not exactly an open book either. Why should I tell you anything?”

“I want to know.”

“Hisoka-”

“Tell me and I’ll tell you a secret~” Hisoka smiled. “I promise I won’t lie.”

“I don’t think I can trust that…”

“Hm, not even this once?”

Mindy sighed and sat back down; she stared at the oven. She was too tired to put up a fight, physical or mental right then.

“My dad was on drugs and my mom let him live with us. She was tired of it and left and then he left a week later because there was no money.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

Hisoka rested his cheek in his hand. “So you lied earlier; you said they were just distant.”

“We’re as distant as a family can be; I have no idea where they are and vice versa.”

“Ah.” Hisoka nodded in comprehension. “Is that why you let me stay with you sometimes? You got that from your mother?”

“Maybe. She didn’t love him anymore, but she felt horrible thinking he’d die on the streets with no where to go. He probably has though by now.”

“So then she left you alone with him? You don’t seem that upset.”

Mindy kept her eyes from looking at him. “Of course I was upset; I still feel bad sometimes.”

“Do you still care about them? Surely not.” Hisoka looked at her in disbelief. “You can’t be that dumb.”

“You really are a dick, huh?” Mindy commented. “Look, let’s just drop it. I told you what happened.”

“You talk like you’re so tough, but it’s all a facade isn’t it? You really are a pushover deep down. I bet you do still love them. I bet you even blame yourself for what happened.” Hisoka chuckled. "Like when you felt guilty about me threatening your teacher; you jumped right to blaming yourself. I guess history does repeat itself, hm?"

"Guess so."

"And you feel bad for mommy and daddy leaving you, so you tried to find some other way to feel good about yourself. It's funny how much you cared about the opinion of two people who obviously didn't care when you so obviously do."

Mindy stared out the window; she wanted to smash in his face, but the truth was, he wasn't wrong.

 _“Is that why I jumped at the first chance to prove myself? Did I want so badly to feel good for once I risked my life and let myself be led by this psycho? Was I really that desperate that I latched on to the first opportunity without really thinking?”_ she felt her eyes sting, but the tears wouldn’t fall; she couldn’t bring herself to cry while Hisoka stared at her so intently, waiting for her to break down.

“I did care. I loved my mom….and I loved my dad...I just can’t bring myself to feel any other way.” Mindy's chapped lips quirked up in a half smile. “Hisoka, try to imagine if you lost the will to fight. If you could never move your arms or legs, if you lost your strength one day for no apparent reason and you couldn’t fix it. The one thing you’ve dedicated your life to and now it’s just gone.”

Hisoka thought. “That does sound rather unfortunate.”

“You don’t like talking about your past, don’t you? I think we have that in common, even if it’s for different reasons. There’s just no point in it for me; what’s the use trying to go over it again and again when it’s already done? I could try to find them, but there’s no point in that either. They don’t want me and to do that would just drag things out.”

“Don’t cry.”

“I’m not-”

Hisoka tilted her face up; the tears began falling and Mindy tried to look away, but he grabbed her chin and held it in place.

“It’s useless feeling sad. You could be doing better things to preoccupy yourself.”

Mindy tensed up as she felt the tip of his tongue catch a tear.

“Prove them all wrong. Become a Trouble Hunter? For what, to hear more sob stories?” Hisoka licked his lips. “What do you ever see here? You need a change of scene in my humble opinion. I can be your mentor; I’m more experienced and knowledgeable about nen than that man and his student combined. Companionship? I can provide more than that foolish boy or that frigid woman; I guarantee he’s still clinging to the idea you’ll return his feelings. Do you want that weighing on your conscience? That woman? It seems she sees you as more than an obstacle than a friend.”

Mindy closed her eyes to block out the tears, but gave no answer.

“There are billions of people inhabiting this world and maybe only a choice few have I found ever worthy of letting live so they could become stronger. We’re more alike than you realize...we’ve been separated from this world in different ways. We’re strong enough to crush anyone who dares step in our paths. Why else would I put so much effort into convincing you? We could either fight each other or everyone else in this world.”

Hisoka ruffled her bangs. "I would say we compliment each other well; we make up for what the other lacks. There’s nothing we wouldn’t be able to do. Do you think those people would be able to understand you as well as I can?”

“They don’t have to; there’s more important things” Mindy whispered. “I don’t understand you. I can accept you, but understand? I think this is impossible.”

“What do you mean?”

“I...I can’t count on you. You don’t care about me; you want my strength. You want to tear me down and build me back up to your standards. I’m a toy to you, just like you said. Maybe I’m not as smart as you, but I’m not blind either.”

Hisoka let his hand drop. “Why can’t you just let this go? This is beneficial to both of us; I’m offering you a chance to forget it all.”

Mindy stared down at her hands somberly; nothing she was saying was getting through to him. She felt like they were just going in circles. 

“Do you want to know my secret?”

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“Do you think it will be a lie?”

“Maybe.”

“Won’t you listen anyway?” Hisoka asked with a coy smile; Mindy relented with a slight nod.

“I want to be the last thing you see before you die.” A pink flush rose to Hisoka’s cheeks as he smiled. “I want to see it so badly, the life draining from you. You’re such a good girl, aren’t you? Ever since we met, a little voice has been telling me incessantly to put off killing you, to wait and be patient, but it's so hard....I’ve been drawn like a moth to a flame and you humor me so sweetly. I want you to gather all your strength and attack me until I can barely stand.”

Hisoka hugged himself with a breathy moan; he seemed to be lost in his own fantasies. Mindy watched him grin with morbid fascination.

“After we’ve reached the height of your power, I want you to let me pleasure you until you’re trembling and wrecked…and the I’ll kill you with my bare hands. Oh Mindy, as delightful as that will be, I...”

Mindy felt her palms sweat. _“I don’t think I like where this is going…”_

“I know once I get what I want from you, I’ll forget you. I don't think I'll remember you or your face or even your name. I'll forget everything. I don't know what I'll do when that day comes.”

Hisoka waited for her response, but she didn’t know what to say. What was anyone supposed to say to that?

Before Mindy could string together some form of a sentence, Hisoka stood up and knelt in front of her once more; with a tired sigh, he rested his head on her lap and caressed her thigh.

“Mindy…I’ll give you something special: time to think it over. I’ll leave tomorrow morning, but I want to play with you a little longer.” Hisoka gently tugged down her underwear and kissed the juncture of her hip and thigh. “Let me have another taste...that’s my good girl, just open your legs a little more for me…”

“Hisoka, I don’t-ah!”

His tongue was assaulting her clit; he looked up at her and nuzzled her hand like a cat.

 _“He’s sneaky like a cat, sly and feral. And twice as fickle.”_ Mindy bit her lip. _“I want this, but...I don’t know what he wants and it makes this feel wrong somehow....”_

“Just a little more…” Hisoka made a delighted humming sound in his throat as he lapped at her folds. “Just for today, hm? Call it compensation for allowing me a place to sleep and for the choking incident. Unless you’d like me to try something a bit more adventurous?”

Mindy shot him a look. “I think I’ll pass; can't say it was that fun the first time.”

“I’ll miss those eyes so much. No, no, don’t look away now!” Hisoka reprimanded with a jolly laugh as he reached under her sweater. “I want you to remember every detail…”

 _“Well, he’s back to his usual mood…”_ Mindy was snapped out of her trance as she felt a stinging sensation on her thigh; Hisoka had out one of his card and was lightly drawing it across her skin.

“Hey!”

“Just a few?” Hisoka wiped his tongue over a stray droplet of blood. “It doesn’t hurt that bad right? If you wanted, you could’ve punched me through the wall. Oh, don’t give me that pout, I just want a taste...”

Mindy held back a whimper as Hisoka used his card to make a tiny cut just on the inside of her thigh while he bumped his nose against her clit. “J-just be damn careful with those things…”

“Certainly.” Hisoka agreed jovially. “Don’t you trust me?”


	29. The Magician

“Hisoka, stop.”

“What?”

“Come on,” I groaned and pulled the covers tightly around myself.

“I’m cold and you forgot to turn the heater on.”

“How’s feeling me up going to help that?” I poked my head out.

Hisoka shrugged. “I thought some physical activity might help us warm up.”

I smiled knowingly “You could turn the heater on.”

“Oh I know, I just didn’t feel like it.” Hisoka said bluntly.

“Want me to get you another blanket?”

“Come here.”

I leaned over to hear him better. “What?”

“No, I mean,” Hisoka sighed impatiently and tugged me on top of him, my face colliding with his hard chest. “There.”

I felt my cheeks warm up slightly; despite all the things we had already done, this was the first time I had actually felt pretty embarrassed.

“You’re very warm.” Hisoka held me like a child may hold a hamster; and then accidentally crush it to death. “It’s like I’m holding onto a stuffed animal I can have sex with.”

I just looked up at him questioningly.

“By the way, did you know your stomach jiggles a bit when we’re really going at it?”

“Hisoka, what the fuck?” I punched his chest, but he just held my arms against my sides tightly while I tried to squirm away. “Why would you say that?!”

“What? It’s cute; it reminds me of a pudding cup.”

I gaped. “A pudding cup?”

“Yes.”

I leaned my head back on his chest. “Okay, I’ll take it.”

“Oh yes...I know.”

“Oh my god.” I buried my face in the crook of his neck. “You’re weird in the morning.”

In fact, everything about him being there was weird; why? Because it wasn’t.

 _“Hisoka is actually kind of pleasant to be around when he relaxes.”_ I thought as he pulled knots out of my bed head. Over the course of two weeks (Hisoka was having a much harder time finding a vacant room in the area), it was as if Hisoka had always lived there. Maybe it was because I finally opened up to him; maybe we had gotten closer without me really realizing.

We ate our meals together; he joined me for meditation and strength training. In the evenings we talked about this and that, he would show me magic tricks or give me tips on using nen, or sometimes we’d be just sitting around doing nothing at all.  Sex was a daily thing, though I never really knew when it would happen; I could be in the middle of making something to eat, doing some chore, playing with my phone, or Hisoka would be messing with his cards before suddenly walking over to slam his mouth against mine heatedly and dragging me down on the nearest available surface whenever the mood seemed to suit him.

On that note, Hisoka hated interruptions; Aro had called my phone twice in the middle of me riding him, and Hisoka answered the call himself, moving his hips upward to make me let out a scream. The conversation that followed after ward was less than pleasant; I didn’t want Aro to find out that way.

“You lied to me.”

“Aro, it’s not what you think.”

“I, I heard you!” Aro sounded disgusted. “What happened to not having time? I can’t believe this; you know, if you don’t want to date me fine. If you’re too busy or not feeling up to dating, fine, but when you straight up make excuses-

“Aro!” I interrupted him. “Will you listen to me for five seconds?! You’re right, I did lie about Hisoka, but that’s because I didn’t want you coming over and him giving you a hard time. I thought if you knew it was him, you’d rush over here.”

“Then what the hell is this about you two together? Mindy, you’ve got to be kidding me; what are you doing with him? He’s crazy, he’s-”

“I know.” I said quietly but firmly. “Look, it’s not what you think it is. I like Hisoka, but this isn’t anything serious. It’s just sex for us, that’s all. I’m sorry I lied to you about him being here.”

Aro’s breathing was all I could hear for a few seconds; I pressed the phone closer to my ear and waited.

“Mindy, why are you...how could you? How could you just, just-”

“What?” I asked sharply. “You better think really damn carefully about what you say next.”

Hisoka was turned around in bed, but even I could sense his glee as my voice become more and more tense.

“I didn’t think you were that kind of person.”

“What kind of person? You’ve got to be kidding me.” I said incredulously. “Aro, I like sex; I know Hisoka and I trust him enough to do this. It’s just for that.”

“I just can’t believe this…”

“What, so I’m trash now, is that it?" I bit my lip in anger. “You may be my friend, but you have no right to judge me like that. I’m not hurting anyone or myself; you don't have a say in it.”

“You’re messing around with a guy who almost killed you!”

“And? Dammit Aro, I already told you, I’m not the person you think I am! I’m not perfect..."

"I never said that." Aro told me. "But come on, you have to admit, this is a lot to take in. I don't know what to think. And i am worried; this is just too weird."

"I know. I don’t expect you to understand, hell, I’m still trying to figure this out; but I know Hisoka and this...whatever happens between us is no one else’s business but our own. I should have been upfront with you, but I knew you would have this reaction.”

“I still think of you as my friend. I’m sorry, this is...this is just hard for me. Mindy, I like you, you know that.” Aro said softly. “Why didn’t...you come to me at least? Wouldn’t it be better to do this with someone who at least cares about you?”

“Aro, I couldn’t do that to you! That’s just fucked up; you want something serious and I don’t know what I want. I see you as a friend, sex would just...god what a fucking mess that’d be.”

Aro burst out in brief laugh. “Yeah, good point....Mindy, I don’t like this.”

“I know.”

“I’d probably always think you deserve better, whether it’s me, Hisoka, or one of those pushy kiosk salespeople in the mall. I’m your friend first; I want you to be careful, okay? And for god’s sake, if he’s holding you hostage send me a text with a smiley face right after this call.” Aro whispered.

“Aro, you’re on speaker.” I glanced over at Hisoka’s disgruntled face.

“Oh. Hey, don’t be an asshole!”

“Aro!”

“If you don’t mind, we were in the middle of something~” Hisoka tugged the phone towards him.

“No we weren’t.” I said into the phone. “Aro, I’m going to let you go, I’ll see you at class.”

“Alright, keep the cops on speed dial!”

“Brat.”

I sighed. “Hisoka, can you blame him?”

He smiled to himself as he pulled a card from thin air. “You know, why not invite him over? I can show him a magic trick.”

“No.”

“Are you certain? The what about you serve as my audience? I have one I know you’ll love.”

“What?”

“I can make myself disappear.”

“Huh?”

“Inside you.”

“Oh. I should’ve seen that coming…”

And so went another week of just living together; my anxieties were somewhat assuaged and Hisoka had mellowed out quickly after the phone call.

_“Things are more or less the same between us though...Hisoka is the same. I’ve known him about four years now; it seems like we met just yesterday. How is it possible so much shit has changed since then, but nothing’s really changed at all?”_

“You look like you’re thinking too much. Don’t strain yourself.”

“Sorry, what’d ya say? I was too busy wondering which women’s department store you get those fucking heels from.”

Hisoka flicked my forehead and I felt a surge of pain. “Ow!”

“Oops, forgot my own strength.”

I threw a punch at his head; he crouched to the ground to avoid it, so I swung my legs and kicked him square in the jaw, causing him to slam into the counter and crumple to the kitchen floor.

“Oh my god!” I rushed over and knelt beside him. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t think-are you okay?!”

Hisoka raised his face and rubbed his chin. “Was that ko?”

“I think so, I didn’t really mean to though.” I took his face in my hands and looked at his jaw. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

Hisoka grabbed me by the back of my neck. “What are you going to do to make it up to me?”

**Half an Hour Later:**

“I hate to be predictable,” Hisoka held up a greasy chicken leg. “But I have to confess, this wasn’t what I had in mind.”

“Do you think it’s weird how we fry up a dead bird, rip off it’s skin, and eat it? We’d be considered fucking psychopaths if this was something else.”

“It puts my hobbies into perspective, doesn’t it?”

“I think it’s a bit different.”

“Is it though?”

I chewed my chicken thoughtfully. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Mindy, must we eat this? It’s so...messy.”

“Come on, who doesn’t like fried chicken?” I asked.

“Me.”

“Wow, you are a monster.”

“Why don’t we go out somewhere nice?” Hisoka scooted closer to me. “I know this place a few blocks down, my treat~”

“Can we have sex right after we’re done eating?”

“Ah. Good point. You do think ahead sometimes.” Hisoka put down his plate and slung an arm around my waist.

“Gee thanks.” I didn’t lean into him just yet. “Hisoka, I’ve been meaning to ask you straight out….what am I to you?”

“I suppose my toy would be the most accurate assessment.”

I rolled my eyes. “Hisoka, I’m being serious here. I know it’s sort of your thing, but could you just answer me honestly?”

“I don’t know how else to put it. I can give you details.”

“....okay?”

“I want to be the one to kill you and the one you think about above everyone else. I want us to travel together, though we would separate when I’m on jobs. We would spar regularly and I would help you train; we would also have sex fairly regularly as well, preferably rough. You won’t interfere with my fights, even if it looks like I’m about to die. I also would appreciate you sharing chore duties when we find a place to lodge.”

“What?”

“It’s only fair, we are both adults. For example, if you see the dishwasher needs to be loaded up, just do it and don’t load the dirty dishes on me.”

I stared down at my hands. “That’s...not what I meant.”

“What is it then?”

“Uh, wow....I guess I never really thought about it before.” I scratched my arm and kept my eyes averted. “You might get killed one of these days. You do like to fight..."

“Come Mindy, don’t get like this on me now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I won’t stop because you want me to. I hope you understand that.”

“I know, I wouldn’t bother asking.” I told him honestly; even so, I was a bit shaken. “Heh...I can’t believe it. I think I’m scared for you.”

Hisoka sighed. “Mindy, don’t do this.”

“Do what? Give a shit? It’s not like I’m gonna lecture you.”

“You’re trying to make me feel bad. It’s not going to work.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not. It’s your life; you know I’d never ask.” I half smiled and took my empty plate to the sink. “It’s getting late; are you going to sleep?”

“I’m not tired.”

“Okay; I have to go to bed, just don’t turn up the volume too loud on the TV.”

I smiled and walked back to my room; the bed was still messed up from earlier that morning.

 _“I hope we don’t end up breaking this.”_ I thought as I fixed the pillows and blankets; the headboard had already cause a dent to appear in the wall, ruining the smooth paint job. I made a mental note to fix it later, but right now my head was swimming. These past weeks I almost felt like I was living in an alternate reality.

_“But that’s all it is. This, it’s not really Hisoka; he plays the part well enough, but he’s just not up for following through.”_

Part of me wanted to go with him. I could keep in touch with my friends and visit now and then; I could get jobs in the towns we would stay in and with my Hunter license, I didn’t even really need to go to school. If I really wanted to, I could just pack it all up and leave with him.

Part of me wanted to do all this, because part of me was enjoying myself; Hisoka was so detached from reality, and he brought me with him. I was growing curious the more he told me about the world outside. There was so much to see it seemed and I had the key to exploring it all firsthand. And we would do it side by side and the more I thought of it, the more eager the idea made me feel, even if we didn’t have a grasp on what we were to each other.

But with one sentence, the illusion he had carefully projected had shown it’s cracks.

_“Hisoka is strong and it’s unlikely...but with how much danger he puts himself in, there’s a fair chance he won’t be alive as long as I thought.”_

I didn’t feel sad; I didn’t feel angry or hurt. I didn’t really feel anything; I sat on my bed, staring down at my hands without really seeing them. Maybe I was still in shock.

“I don’t see him a lot anyway, this is the first time I’ve even talked to him in a year. But this,” I spoke to myself softly, trying to discern what was going through my head; this was reality and I couldn’t hide from it. “He can die and I….I’d never see him again. He’d just be gone like…”

“Like them.”

I sighed heavily. “Hisoka, can’t you just come into the room like a normal person for once?”

“You’re scared of being abandoned.”

“I’m fine, let’s just go to sleep; we both have to be somewhere tomorrow.”

“Oh?”

I looked up at him. “Well, yeah I have to drop something off at work in the morning and you have to leave too don’t you?”

Hisoka looked sullen. “And you’re staying here?”

“I...yeah, I am.”

I didn’t say anything else as he sat on the bed and angled my face toward his. I didn't want him to know the details of my plan, but now it seemed inevitable.

“Is this your final decision?”

“Yes...”

“I see. This was a waste of time then.”

I stood up and walked toward the door; Hisoka took a hold of my arm.

“Where are you going?"

"I can't stay here. Okay look, I’m going...but not with you.” I told him. “I quit my job last week and didn’t sign up for another semester; I just have to give them my uniform. I want to see what this world has to offer before I settle down. I guess I have to thank you; if you hadn’t made me consider it, I wouldn’t have even tried.” I smiled genuinely and tapped the side of my head. “You know I’m not a big thinker, but once again, you got me thinking outside the box.”

“Where are you going now?”

“I don’t know. I don’t really feel tired either; I already have my things packed...I even made payments on this place for the next year, so I got somewhere to come back to in case shit gets really bad.” I shrugged. “I guess I’ll just hop on a train and see what happens.”

“You really are an enhancer. Simple, honest to a fault, and selfish.” Hisoka gave a hollow chuckle. “You can’t deal with the idea of my death, so you decide to abandon me all together to save yourself the pain.”

“Weren’t you the one saying what a waste of time this was? Face it, I mean about as much to you as a bubblegum wrapper. I always knew that...you want me to satisfy your own desires; mine are secondary.”

“I’ve been making compromises.”

“No you haven’t; it’s all under your conditions, your comfort zone. If it came down to it, you’d save your own skin before mine and if I died, you’d just feel like I was a waste of a good fight. If I didn’t have this power, you wouldn’t have looked twice at me.” I said steadily. “You were right Hisoka, I am stupid, stupid for almost falling for this when I know the kind of person you are. I couldn’t help myself; I always cared about you, but this is too much.”

“If you ask me, you’re taking this too seriously. Everyone dies sometime.”

"I know that. I also know you can’t empathize with me, because you don’t really care if I die. As long as you’re the one to do it; I don’t want to fight you and I don’t want you to kill me. I’m not going to just go along with it.”

I laughed suddenly. “Hey you remember the tarot cards? How I got the Magician as the outcome?”

“What of it?”

“It’s weird; if you hadn’t found me, I wouldn’t have gotten the idea to set out on my own. Spending this time with you had opened my eyes; I can see you more clearly. You made me realize what was important and I’m going to be happier for it. A magician really did help me,…”

“I’m so glad to be of use.” Hisoka replied in a apathetically cool tone. “So, this is goodbye.”

“Yeah. It was fun, but…” I picked up my bag, already placed with some supplies and clothes. I could always get what I needed at the next place I settled in. My chest was aching, yet I couldn’t help the excitement I felt at that moment. “Take care of yourself, for your own benefit.”

“I will.”

“The landlord is coming to lock up tomorrow, so you don’t have to do anything before you go.”

I took one last look around the room and waved to him before walking out.

Did I expect him to stop me? No, that would be ridiculous.

Did I want him to? I didn’t know, but I was tired of being left behind by people who I mistakenly thought cared for me enough to stay by my side. Hisoka’s words rang true; it only took an instant for treasure to turn to trash and that’s exactly what happened to whatever we were.

It had all fallen apart with one sharp slap to my senses. If it were for the right reasons, if he was a different person, then yes. I would want him to stop me.

Did he want to? Maybe just a little, but I knew in my heart it wasn’t enough. Something in Hisoka made it impossible for him to ever have the kind of feelings I had for him.

Perhaps, in his mind, he did care; but it didn’t do me any good.

_“Please….just take care of yourself…”_


	30. Bar Talk

“Master, what are we doing all the way out here?” Zushi wiped the sweat from his forehead. I was starting to feel worn out too; the environment was dry, barren, and just plain discouraging.

“Yeah, if I’d known, I would’ve brought extra water.” I mumbled.

Wing raised an eyebrow. “We’ve only been walking for half an hour. The bus ride was air conditioned.”

“But what’s the big secret? Couldn’t we have just done our training somewhere else?”

Zushi peered out over the horizon. “This place is like a desert...there must not be any people around for miles.”

“Exactly.” Wing smiled. “I think we can stop here.”

We stood together and surveyed the area; there were maybe a dozen dry and dying trees scattered over two miles and not much else. I couldn’t even hear any sounds other than the wind scattering around the dust and dirt.

“Wing, come on, what’s the story? What are we doing here?” I asked in exasperation; over the past two months I had spent my days in motels and the occasional hotel. None were all that luxurious, but they were certainly more pleasing to the eye than this barren wasteland that looked straight out of an apocalypse blockbuster.

“I’m glad you asked.”

“We’ve been asking, Master.” Zushi reminded him.

Wing just kept smiling. “We needed to find a spot to train that was uninhabited by living beings; Mindy, I want you to use ko on your fist.”

“Okay. Are we going to spar?”

“Ha, nope.”

I blinked in surprise. “What, why not?”

“To be frank Mindy-”

“Who’s Frank?”

“Mindy, please,” Wing sighed as Zushi smothered a guilty laugh. “To be **blunt,** if we were to actually spar, I wouldn’t stand a chance; at least, not now that you’ve been refining your senses and speed.”

“Seriously?” My eyes widened. “But, then how-?”

“I want you to punch the ground.”

I narrowed my eyes against the high sun and looked around. “The ground? Just anywhere?”

“Yes, precisely. Just use the technique and punch the ground with all your strength.” Wing said. “And don’t you dare hold back; this is a test.”

 _“A test? Of what?”_ I wondered; this exercise was so simple, what we were supposed to get out of it? " _What, does Wing want me to find a secret water well? I guess I’ll just have to see….”_

Wing and Zushi walked at least the length of a football field away from me.

“Is this good?” I cupped my hands to call out to them; Wing held out what I assumed was a thumbs up high in the air. Zushi was holding onto my glasses for me and waved them.

“ _At least I think he is…”_ I squinted and turned around. The ground in front of me was just another patch of cracked, packed dirt. I relaxed and focused my nen to my right fist. _“So, I just need to punch it? Alright.”_

I took a deep breath and threw back my shoulder, the knuckle of my fist slamming into the dirt.

**Third Person POV:**

**“Zushi, get down!”**

Wing shielded his student and employed ken to protect them from the debris; despite this, they were still knocked over and sent tumbling several feet away from their spot.

They stayed balled up together and after a few more seconds, Wing cracked open one eye.

“Master, maybe we should have went farther away.” Zushi kept his eyes covered as he waited for the dust to clear completely.

Wing fixed his skewed glasses and pulled up his student with him to look for Mindy. “This…”

“Hey guys!”

They could hear Mindy yelling from what seemed like a mile away. “Guys?! Are you okay?!?”

“We’re fine!” Zushi called out. “Meet us halfway!”

“I hate running!” Mindy hustled over to them with heavy breathing. _“God why is the ground so uneven?”_

“Mindy, be careful, the ground is-”

“SHIT!”

“She knows.” Zushi winced as Mindy fell down face first.

“I’m okay!” Mindy stumbled up on unsteady feet; for the first time since her fist, she looked around. Wing and Zushi were in front of her by now and panting.

“Guys….what the fuck did I do?”

She slowly took her glasses back from Zushi. The land was just as abandoned, but before the ground had laid flat. Now they were standing in the middle of a crater and the nearest ledge looked about a mile away.

“Oh shit...I killed the trees too didn’t I?”

Wing coughed. “Ko has the ability to transfer 100% of your aura into one specific body part. Your aura did this; so yes. You killed them.”

“Wing it's not funny! Am I going to get in trouble?” Mindy asked nervously. “This...oh god, no wonder you said to do it in the middle of nowhere...if we were in the city…”

“You might’ve accidentally killed hundreds of people and destroyed a lot of it.” Zushi stared up at her in awe.

**First Person POV:**

I felt a tight knot form in my stomach; Hisoka had told me we no one would ever be able to get in our way, that I was most likely the strongest person in the city. I thought he was exaggerating, trying to bend the truth to convince me to follow his plan. But it was true. I could see it so clearly in my mind; if I had been messing around and had done something like this back in the city, would it be in the same state as the land before me? I wasn’t even trying that hard.

I put a hand to my mouth and felt the back of my knees tighten and my shoulders tense. I felt terrified thinking of what might have happened.

“Zushi, I don’t know if that’s something I should be proud of.” I tucked my hair back behind my ears; my head felt dizzy taking in the massiveness of the cavern. “Hisoka wasn’t kidding...ha...I guess I really do have potential….”

Wing looked at me with some concern. “Mindy, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know how to feel about this.” I looked down and Wing put a hand on my shoulder; I felt a bit more relaxed and smiled up at him uncertainly. "This is a long way from a boxing DVD."

“You’re fine. You can control it, so there’s no need to worry.”

“No, you’re right.” I nodded quickly. “It’s just a lot to take in.”

Zushi tugged on my hand and glanced up at Wing. “Master, should we go?”

“Yes, I think we’ve accomplished today’s prerogative.”

“Creating a fake meteor crash?”

Over an hour later, it was time to say goodbye or at least 'see you later'. I still felt a bit apprehensive and part of me felt like they were leaving so soon, but I knew it wouldn’t be right to keep them. I still needed to look for a place to sleep myself while I was in the area.

 _“Actually, where am I?”_ I scratched my head and took out my phone to find out. As far as I could tell, I was in a small downtown area, but all I could see were houses and stores. There were no apartments or motels in sight where I had the bus drop me off. With a sigh I hefted my bag on my shoulders and relaxed on the bench.

 _“Okay, I'm in....Temperance.”_ I squinted at my phone. _“Are you fucking kidding me? I hope they don’t mean the ‘no booze’ temperance…”_

As I was looking for directions to the nearest motel, my cell phone started ringing. Onna’s stern face popped up on the screen. I unlocked the call with a wry smile.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“When are you returning?”

“Um, I don’t know. Maybe some day soon for a visit?”

“We haven’t had our rematch.”

I winced at the severity in Onna’s voice. “Look, I told you, I’m just sort of traveling around. How’s Aro by the way? Did he get his phone fixed yet?”

“No, he’s too busy bothering me with nonsense.”

Onna and Aro had decided to move into my apartment to take care of it; the rent was already paid for months and it would go to waste just remaining unoccupied. Talk about the odd couple.

“What nonsense?”

“He keeps bothering me in the middle of my exercises to talk.”

“About what?” 

“Nothing. His studies, his family, asking me question after inane question, and bothering me to eat. I have my own schedule.”

“Ooooh.”

“What? What’s oh?”

I smiled. “Onna, Aro’s more...social. He’s just trying to be nice; plus he likes you. Why don’t you try to hang out together? He always wanted me to teach him some fight moves. You can show him some of your techniques and then you guys could have something to do together.”

I could practically hear Onna draw herself up in indignation. “My family’s techniques have been passed down from centuries of generations-”

“Oh, would you look at that, I need to check in to my motel. I’ll call later, tell Aro I said hi! Make sure he keeps taking his own notes.”

“I am not his babysitter.”

“Sorry gotta go-”

“Mindy.”

I paused at her tone. “What?”

“....don’t be stupid; take care of yourself, because we would both like to see you again at some point.”

“Okay.” I smiled softly. “See you later.”

The town really was nice. I looked around at the stores and people walking about, seeing to their business; it was all buildings made of brick and cozy looking neighborhoods nestled just around the corner. It was a place I could see having a family in, if I ever really wanted one.

 _“The again...I guess I do sort of have a family now.”_ I leaned back on the bench and smiled to myself; I was on my own, but I wasn’t alone. There were people looking out for and thinking of me, even now.

I bounced up and started walking to nowhere in particular; there was still plenty of time before I had to find a place to stay. It wasn’t that I had nothing weighing on my mind; I was still apprehensive about my strength, I hoped Aro and Onna were getting along, I still needed to get familiar with my surroundings; I couldn’t help thinking about Hisoka, and what he would have to say about all of this.

As a matter of fact, I found myself thinking that often enough to make a habit out of it; I wondered what he was up to and whether he was okay. I hadn’t heard from him since I took off, and for all I knew, he really was dead.

Yet even with all that on my mind, I couldn’t help but smile.

“ _I feel happy. I really do.”_

**Third Person POV:**

“-and then she started talking about chicken and how weirdly morbid it is that we fry the skin and peel it off this dead bird to eat it! Isn't that just the strangest thing?”

“Fascinating.” Illumi took a larger sip than he usually would of his drink; for the first time in his life, he found it quite unfortunate he ingested so many poisons as a child to build immunity. The alcohol wasn’t working nearly fast enough as Hisoka prattled on over the soft music echoing through the bar speakers.

 _“We’ve been meeting up at bars frequently as of late, now that I think about it.”_ Illumi swirled his half melted ice in the glass; there was barely a sip left of bourbon, and the bartender seemed to be taking forever to get back to him.

“-I pulled out the first card, and get this, she actually thought that the Hangman card literally meant I was going to be hung by the neck! Really, I don’t know how she managed to pass her midterm; she may have enough common sense, but she’s woefully lacking in imagination and wit-”

 _“Oh, he’s still talking. Am I doing a good enough job of pretending to listen?”_ Illumi continued to stare straight ahead, feeling a faint swell of relief as the bartender refilled his glass to the brim. Could he sense his distress? _“On second thought, Hisoka may not care whether I’m listening or not; he seems to enjoy chatting for the sake of speaking it seems. It is tiring...I wonder how my little brother is doing?”_

“Illumi?”

“Hm?”

Hisoka gave him a sideways glance. “You haven’t heard a word I said.”

“No I heard you talking.” Illumi said truthfully. “I just wasn’t listening.”

“How rude. Is that anyway to treat a friend?”

“Your fixation on this woman is disturbing. And I kill people for a living; please let that take a moment to sink in.” Illumi traced his finger over the rim of his glass. “I wonder how Kil’s doing?”

“Oh yes, your brotherly relationship is the height of heartwarming.”

“Do you think so?” Illumi’s blank face twisted in a slight smile. “I do too.”

Hisoka shook his head. “You sentimental fool.”

“How long are you going to bother me with this?”

“Bother you? I’m simply making conversation.”

“The topic is becoming tedious.”

“Well, what would you like to talk about?” Hisoka smiled.

Illumi thought for a moment. “How’s your progress with Gon? I know you’re banning me from killing him, but surely you’re planning on doing it yourself soon?”

Hisoka put a finger to his lips with a wistful look. “Oh yes, I’m still waiting for my little apple seed to grow into a tree. No Illumi, the time isn’t right just yet. You know, Mindy finds it appalling I'm planning to fight a child, but she's jumping to conclusions. Who knows for sure when Gon will mature?”

They sat in silence and just took in the atmosphere; in truth, they had just happened to run into each other on separate jobs. After it was done, they decided to take a moment to relax before parting ways. At least that was the plan on Illumi's part.

“This is annoying.”

Hisoka looked up from his drink. “Hm?”

“You’re behaving oddly.”

“As opposed to my custom demeanor?”

“Yes. Whatever is wrong with you, I suggest fixing it. I’m getting exhausted listening to you go on about this woman. Why haven’t you fought her yet?”

“I don’t know where she is.” Hisoka shrugged and took a drink; the mixture of fine whiskey and soda went down more nicely than he anticipated.

“No?”

“She left.”

“Ah, she ran away from you? Yes, I can believe that; most people would rather not die.” Illumi said mildly. “But then, why haven’t you tracked her down? Your skills of seeking your prey should be adequate enough.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment~”

“Do what you want.” Illumi said vaguely.

“You’re so obtuse. If I went out to find her, that would mean giving up some of my dignity. I’m not going on some wild goose chase to kill someone who won’t put up a fight.” Hisoka said casually.

“If that’s how you feel, why don’t you just kill her anyway?” Illumi asked. “I don’t see why you’re holding back; if she doesn’t want to fight, kill her so you won’t be thinking about it any longer and boring me with your stories.”

“What fun would that be? It’d be a waste.”

“Would blackmail suffice?” Illumi suggested. “Just threaten one of her loved ones and say if she doesn’t fight you’ll kill them.”

“Too many ways it could backfire….Illumi, remember how you said I should pay more attention to the news and such? It seems you yourself haven’t heard…”

“What?”

“You know in the Yorbian continent, that forest that was burned down in the huge wildfire some years back?”

“Yes.”

“There’s a crater there now, nearly half the size of a city. I was there not so long ago myself. People are baffled; there was no sign of what might’ve been the cause.”

“What’s your point?”

“If only I could have been there to see if for myself….imagine what she could do to someone with one hit; the aftermath was breathtaking to behold.” Hisoka’s hand tightened over the cold glass. “How could she just flaunt her power for anyone to see like that? It would be too enticing to just ignore...”

“But how do you know it was her?”

“The area had her aura all over it.” Hisoka smiled and waited for Illumi’s reaction; it was always a fun little game, to see what expression, if any, he could cause his old friend to make.

Illumi put a hand to his chin, eyes dull as can be. “Oh I see.”

“Also, look here.”

Hisoka took his cellphone from his pocket and scrolled through it for a second; he found the picture and showed it to Illumi.

“Oh, is this her?”

“Yes, but look closely.” Hisoka said playfully.

Illumi stared more attentively and took in the whole photo. It was a woman, who actually looked quite young with her round face and eyes. Illumi was a faintly surprised; this was not the person he would have imagined to possess such strength. Granted, he knew looks were deceiving, but he truly expected someone who at least looked a little battle hardened, perhaps in peak physical condition; not this plump girl with a messy apron, holding a bowl of cake batter for some reason.

“Hm? Don’t tell me you can’t see it?” Hisoka was looking increasingly smug; Illumi refrained from showing his slight annoyance and leaned in closer. Assessing a target was just one of the many skills he was well practiced in, yet he was stumped.

“ _Brown eyes and hair, no distinct features or markings. She looks like she’s just enjoying baking; there’s no weapons or nen currently in use at the time of the photo….what is it I’m supposed to be seeing…?”_ Illumi wondered; as hard as he scanned the photo for any abnormalities, he could not see what Hisoka was trying to show him.

Reluctantly, Illumi pulled back and sighed. “Very well Hisoka, I give up. What am I looking at?”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“The photo; what is it that I don’t see?”

Hisoka smirked. “Isn’t she cute?”

“And?”

“That’s it.” Hisoka shrugged his shoulders and put back his phone. “What were you expecting?”

“Something relevant to our conversation.”

“I assure you, this is relevant.”

Illumi didn’t blink. “How?”

“Because we were involved.”

“...so, the purpose of this is just for you to brag?”

“Hmmm, I wouldn’t say that...”

“It’s heavily implied.”

“Excuse me, could I get a sex on the beach?” Hisoka asked the bartender; he watched with interest as she mixed together the vodka, peach schnapps, and other ingredients in swift order. Illumi was still watching him blankly.

“Something wrong?” Hisoka asked as he was handed the sunset colored drink with a cherry placed neatly on top of the ice. “Do you want the cherry?”

“No thank you.” Illumi shook his head slowly. “Anyway, I don’t see what you’re bragging about. She dumped you, correct?”

“We weren’t together. It was just a bit of harmless fun, and then we went our separate ways.”

“Oh I think I’m getting it; so you don’t have feelings for her?”

“She and I got along famously if that's what you mean, but then, so do we, and I wouldn’t hesitate to kill you should you ever get in my way.”

“That makes sense.”

“I know right? Why can’t she get that?” Hisoka downed his drink. “You know what her problem is? She acts like she's fine with me and then she changes her mind over a little danger. But isn’t life more engaging with some risks?”

“Did you say you wanted to kill her? You might have not wanted to say that so soon.”

Hisoka frowned and sighed wearily. “No, she was fine with that...after I told her I’d probably end up dead from a fight one day, she got all emotional and decided to go traveling without me. So childish.”

Illumi sat quietly as he listened; he took his time finishing his drink as Hisoka waited for a reply. His friend truly was unreadable; Hisoka prided himself on his ability to keep calm, but Illumi’s face was continuously as blank as an unpainted canvas. Even his eyes gave away nothing, two black spots that just happened to be attached to his face for no other purpose than to observe the outside and take nothing in.

“Illumi, say something...you’re so eerie when you get this way…”

“I suppose I’m just caught off guard.”

“About?”

“Was she really?” Illumi didn’t seem to have heard him, he was still half off in his own little world.

Hisoka raised an eyebrow inquisitively. “Now you’re being vague? Really what?”

“She is concerned with you dying…..is she like you too?”

“That depends on what trait you’re referring to exactly.”

“How you’re unusual and disturbing.”

“Well isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black; no, she isn’t, at least not in the same way I may be considered. I think that’s why we suit each other so well.” Hisoka raised his hands. “But oh well, it’s her loss.”

“She seems to be doing well; that sort of power and control with nen is formidable. Maybe that’s why you aren’t pursuing her? You think she’ll kill you for sure?”

Hisoka licked a the cherry soaked with vodka and smiled blissfully. “Oh my, now _that_ would be something….”

Illumi made no comment.

“It’s really a shame...we could have had so much more fun together…” Hisoka pouted as he swung the cherry back and forth by it’s stem, his gleaming eyes trained on it like a cat’s. “Mindy was so stubborn, and then she seemed to finally understand; but now that potential is being untended and she’s off doing god knows what-”

“With god knows who?”

Hisoka let the cherry fall to the table.

“And just what does that mean?”

Illumi turned in his seat, looking vacantly at his companion. “Wasn’t it you who said how cute she was? If she’s wandering the country, she must be meeting several people on her travels; maybe she’s even with someone at this very moment and you’d be none the wiser.”

“I don’t see how that’s any of my concern~”

"I assumed since you haven’t shut up about her yet, you might be.” Illumi blinked. “Was I mistaken?”

“Yes, you were.”

“Ah.” Illumi said with a new feeling of clarity. "The can you stop speaking now?"

"Gee, thanks for the talk..."

"You're much obliged."


	31. Living the Dream

"What...what are you doing here?”

Mindy let her bags drop to the floor; Hisoka was in the middle of her motel room, sitting on the edge of the bed as if it were his dwelling. He patted the spot next to him with a coy smile, but she just fixed him with a piercing stare.

“Hisoka, what are you-how did you find me?”

“It was easy. Your aura was left behind on that crater you made; it’s quite the spectacle, people are flocking to it for pictures and there’s rumors going on about aliens and meteors and-oh, who cares?” Hisoka chuckled. “Anyway, I followed your scent, so to speak, and here I am!”

“Why?”

“To congratulate you of course! You've grown so much~” Hisoka said cheerfully; he raised one of his hands and Mindy immediately went on her guard. “Now, now, don’t be so quick to suspicion. I have a gift.”

Hisoka waved a white scrap of cloth in one hand; he let it lay flat on his palm, the scarf covering his hand entirely, before sweeping it off in a grandiose movement. A full sized bottle of champagne was uncovered along with two flute glasses balanced on the unscrewed cork.

Mindy sighed. “Half your magic tricks end with a card to the throat. How would I not get suspicious?”

Hisoka busied himself with finding a corkscrew. “You must trust me at least a little bit? We were intimate with each other; doesn’t that call for a degree of trust?”

“I guess, but trusting you to not kill me during sex was a bit of a leap of faith in and of itself.” Mindy replied. “What is that anyway?” she pointed to the green bottle. “Why is it so dusty? Did you pull it from a dumpster?”

“It’s been aged. For someone so partial to spirits, I’d think you’d know what champagne was.”

“I know what it is!” Mindy said defensively. “...I just haven’t seen it for myself. Does it taste good?”

“Try for yourself.”

Mindy looked at the glass warily.

“Here,” Hisoka brought the drink to his lips and took a generous gulp; he licked his lips with satisfaction as Mindy visibly relaxed. “There, no funny business. If I wanted to kill you, I wouldn’t poison you.”

“Gee, thanks.” Mindy took a cautionary sip; the sensation was akin to soda with the slight bitterness of wine. The after taste was sweet and she immediately found herself craving more. “Wow, this is really good. Thanks.”

“It was nothing. Tell me, how did it feel?” Hisoka and Mindy laid down side by side; the bottle sat between them on an old book they found in one of the motel’s broken drawers. “Did using that much of your energy exhaust you?”

“Not really...I just did that one punch and I was only a bit tired. I have to say though...it was kinda scary.”

Hsioka chortled jovially. “Why would you say a thing like that?”

“To know I can do that..if I was a more reckless person or if I had an accident...I could hurt a lot of people.” Mindy filled up her glass for the fourth time. “It’s not the best feeling in the world.”

“Mindy,” Hisoka chuckled softly. “I think you know you’re not the kind of person to abuse such power; you felt guilty after accidentally kicking me, and I was being an annoyance.”

“No you aren’t-okay, you are, but not always.” Mindy shrugged. “I miss having you around sometimes. How have you been anyway?”

“Not dead, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Hisoka,” Mindy sighed. “I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but I meant what I said. I hope you take care of yourself. I hope we can meet up like this again in the future...heh, if you don’t forget me that is.” she chuckled.

“It would be a hard feat to accomplish.” Hisoka turned on his side and laid a hand on her thigh; Mindy looked down in confusion. Both her and him were half naked. She glanced over at the bottle; it barely had enough for a sip. There's no way she could've been that tipsy now, to forget the last few seconds.

“Did you really miss little old me?” Hisoka snaked an arm around her waist and pecked her cheek. “We do have so many good memories, don’t we? Like the first time I did this-”

Mindy keened as he latched his mouth to her breast; she tangled both her hands in his hair and gasped as he pushed her down.

“And this.”

Her panties were torn off at the seam and thrown to who knows where as Hisoka reached down between her legs.

“Hisoka, we-ah!” Mindy clung to him, her cheeks bright red from the champagne and her arousal. “Is this okay?”

“What’s a little intimacy between associates?”

Mindy raked her nails down his back as he sucked the side of her neck harshly. “Do you do this with all your associates?”

“Jealous?”

Mindy snapped out of her haze slightly. “No. Why would I be?”

“Just a joke my dear, nothing to fret over~” Hisoka was hovering over her now. “On that note, I’m curious as well. Have you let any others take you to bed since me?”

At this question, Mindy’s cheeks grew brighter. “Well, no, but it’s not like I meant to. I’m just not interested.”

“I’ve thought about us like this...haven’t you?”

Hisoka inserted two more fingers and licked the shell of her ear. Mindy was oddly limp today, but he chalked it up to over doing the celebrating and being weary from her travels; he did hope she wouldn’t pass out. What would be the fun in not getting to hear her beg for his touch or feel her cling painfully to his hair as he made her see stars?

“You’re so soft; I could just sink into you.” Hisoka chuckled as he entered her; the second he was fully inside, he gave one rough thrust. “Oh, it’s happening again!”

“Huh?” Mindy looked up at him blearily.

“Your tummy is all jiggly~it’s so cute, make it do it some more.”

Mindy covered her face with her hands. “Dammit, don’t look!”

Hisoka pitched forward abruptly and Mindy’s hands went to clutch as his shoulders.

“I want to see you come undone for me….we both know how insatiable you are, I think you can handle it just fine.” Hisoka traced the small scar on her neck with the tip of his tongue. “Mindy, have you reconsidered my offer? It’s always open~”

Mindy shivered at the way he stayed buried inside her while working on her breasts; she tried to move her hips, but one of his hands had them pinned to the bed.

“Hm? No answer?” Hisoka cooed. “Do I have to get it out of you?”

“Please...Hisoka, please let me move.” Mindy cursed under her breath as he adjusted his position.

“I want an answer first.”

“I...I do miss you.” Mindy sighed softly as he pressed quick pecks all over her neck. “I think...I want to go with you. And I know I want this…”

Hisoka smiled kindly. “Very well. Whatever you want my dear~”

The bed shook on it’s unsteady hinges as Hisoka pivoted his hips rapidly, his erection already leaking a bit from the wait. He molded their bodies together, loving the feel of sweat making their skin stick to each other’s.

 _“All I need now is to see her bleed...just a few knicks to the skin will get me all wound up in anticipation. No, I shouldn’t rush this, not when we’ve only just begun.”_ Hisoka moaned with every thrust; she just wouldn’t stop clenching around him. _"I'll take my time and she'll see...I'll make her see."_

“Harder!”

Hisoka let out a brief laugh. “How am I ever supposed to draw this out when you keep seducing me into ravishing you? I’m trying to be gentle, but you won’t have it…” Hisoka kissed her forehead. “Whatever will I do with you?”

“Sorry. I just like it...I like it when you’re rough.” Mindy groaned against the crook of his shoulder; she tightened her lips around the spot and sucked. In a manner of seconds there was a sizable reddish purple spot. “I like when I can feel it later…I don’t care if it hurts.”

“You-” Hisoka let out a throaty groan as he pulled both of her legs apart, one hooked on his shoulder; she was so wet he could hear it. “My good girl...spread your legs a little more...that’s wonderful, take it just like that; it’s okay, I won’t hurt you so bad you can’t walk tomorrow.”

Mindy struggled to keep her voice level; Hisoka released one of her legs and used his pointer finger to rub her swollen clit. “Wait! Don’t, I’m going to scream!”

She clamped a hand over her mouth; Hisoka shook his head and used his other hand to yank it away and hold it beside her head.

“Then do it. You weren’t so shy before.” Hisoka stilled and began to massage her clit with hard strokes.

“Fuck, people might hear now!” Mindy whispered staring up at him pleadingly. “Hisoka-!”

“I. Don’t. Care.” Hisoka punctuated his thrusts with bites to Mindy’s neck. “Doesn’t this feel good? There’s no reason to hold back…” he purred and slammed his engorged member into her with renewed vigor.

“Yes, yes, yes!” Mindy buried her face in his neck as she came; he could feel her fingers trembling in his hair.

Hisoka didn’t slow his pace as Mindy tried to catch her breath.

“Hisoka, I want to come…”

“Again?” Hisoka grinned.

Mindy had enough energy to laugh and shook her head. “No, I mean...I want to come with you.”

Hisoka said nothing; he couldn’t tear his heavy lidded gaze from those shining eyes. He was so close, he was already looking forward to seeing his seed drip down her thighs and onto the sheets. Maybe if Mindy was still feeling tipsy, she’d even let him lick her clean like that; he always wondered what they tasted like.

“I-I’ve been thinking.” Mindy braced herself as he neared his own orgasm. “I….I think I love you. Don't laugh....”

Hisoka pried his eyes open slowly; his clothes had been messily thrown to the floor, but his underwear was still in place and stained. He let himself doze off a little bit, head already throbbing ever so from the night of heavy drinking. The bed was cold enough to provide his overheated skin with some relief.

"Talk about excess. I didn’t expect those mixed drinks to pack that much of a punch.” Hisoka said tiredly aloud as he stripped off his dirty boxers. “I feel like such a mess...oh well, I suppose I can allow myself some extra sleep.”

Hisoka yawned and checked the time; it was still fairly early and he felt glad to settle back down into the bed.

 _“Where was I in that dream?”_ Hisoka had forgotten as soon as he had woken up; all he could remember was a dingy motel room and Mindy on her back-

 _“Oh yes, that’s where I was. What a marvelous dream, not bad at all.”_ Hisoka held back a long peel of laughter; his head was sore, and he felt like laughing too much would make it hurt worse. Still, he couldn’t say he regretted it too much; if getting drunk as a skunk meant he could have dreams like that every night, call him an alcoholic.

 _“Illumi makes it sound like it’s so complicated; he can be so slow on the uptake. It isn’t hard to_ _understand, we had a little fun and now it’s over with.”_ Hisoka smiled to himself in content satisfaction and hugged his pillow. _“It is a shame I didn’t get my fight, but all things aside, this little episode was wrapped up nicely~”_

It was a glorious morning and there was so many more prospects he still had in mind anyway; the future was bright with possibilities.

_“I...I think I love you.”_

Hisoka held a hand to his face and sighed. _“Oh, this is a problem….”_

**First Person POV:**

“Oh, this is a problem…” I held a hand to my face and sighed. “Why can’t I get these right?”

I picked up the box of pancake mix and reread the instructions.

“Shit, I forgot the eggs.”

A few minutes later my failed attempts at nice a homemade breakfasts were ditched in the trash and I was eating in a diner.

 _“Dammit, I should’ve just bought cereal.”_ I made a mental list of the food I still needed to pick up; I decided to stay in the area for at least a couple of months. It was such a homey town, like something out of a card; I finished my waffles and left cash in the checkbook.

_“Hisoka makes better waffles…”_

I sighed and smiled to myself; I couldn’t help think of him now and then, but I also couldn't help regard it as a bad habit, like eating too many cookies when you knew you only needed a couple. It was getting less frequent as time went by; even so, Hisoka wasn’t an easy person to forget.

I popped in my earplugs and listened to music as I walked around on my usual route; it felt nice to be able to let my guard down and enjoy the scenery. There had been some talk on the news about my crater incident, but no one had connected it to a person; only another nen user would have been able to sense it. Overall, this town was peacefully uneventful.

 _“I almost feel bored, but in a good kind. It really is nice to not have to worry about getting jumped or late school work or Hisoka wanting to kill me…”_ I slowed down, suddenly feeling a bit less energetic.

 _“I don’t regret my decision. Yeah, I kinda miss him, but...it just wasn’t going to work out. I’m tired of grasping at straws with him."_ I gazed down at my shoes, wishing to be alone and not smack dab in such a cheerful atmosphere. _"I just wanted to be able to know he gave a shit; maybe I was even worth being a bit more careful for."_

For once, everything was fine; I felt safe and content, and I wasn’t worried about money or whether I was doing the right thing. I had never been more sure of anything in my life; when all was said and done, this was better for both of us.

 _“I...feel good about myself. I’m okay.”_ I smiled in slight awe and hoped people wouldn’t see it and think I was crazy.  _“Everyone’s happy.”_


	32. Omake: Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop

_I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you,_  
Yes there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you...  
  
  


 

“Alright, Zushi, today you fought excellently.” Wing said with subdued pride. “So eat up and enjoy!”

“Osu!”

“Ugh.” Mindy grimaced as she set down their cake platters and tea.

“Mindy, where’s that smile?”

Mindy’s cheeks hurt as she grinned at her expectant boss. “Yes ma’am, sorry!”

“And please, attempt to speak like a proper young woman. We have an image to maintain here.”

“Yes Ms. Walker, of course.” Mindy nodded quickly but let out a deep breath as soon as Ms. Walker left for her own section. “Guys, try not to do that thing while you’re here.”

“I still don’t see why you refuse to say it yourself.” Wing commented.

“Look, I’ll be honest, it sounds dumb to me. Besides, you sure as hell can’t yell like that in here; plus, if Ms. Walker catches me talking like I talk, I’ll get fired.” Mindy sighed.

“Sorry, we’ll be careful.” Zushi assured her. “Thanks for letting us use your discount.”

“Anything for an upcoming Floor Master.” Mindy smiled genuinely. “I gotta go take care of some other customers, but I’ll be back in a few.”

She turned on her heel swiftly, the frilly hem of her skirt uniform swaying upward; Zushi leaned over to speak to Wing quietly.

“Master, is this really not one of those maid cafes?”

“Mindy said not; I think the hostess just has a particular taste.” Wing looked around at the half a dozen young women almost prancing from table to table in their pastel uniforms. “There’s a lot of people here, so she must be doing something right.”

“This cake looks great!”

“Stop it, we got to sit down first!”

Zushi gasped. “Hey, over here!”

Killua released Gon, whose hand was still halfway outreached toward the pastry display case.

“Zushi? Wing?”

Gon beamed. “Oh hey! What are you guys doing here?”

“Eating obviously.” Killua rapped his knuckles against the back of Gon’s head. “Idiot, be quiet, you’ll get us kicked out.”

“Hello, how may I help you?” Mindy had come forward herself. “It’s nice to meet-”

“Can we get a table by those guys?” Killua interrupted.

Mindy kept on her cheery smile. “Of course, right this way. We have a special today, an all you can eat cake platter. If you finish everything you order in an hour, the whole meal is 85% off!”

“Sounds good!” Gon hopped into the booth next to Zushi. “Is that what you guys are having?”

“Yes. Mindy-”

“Where are our menus?” Killua asked; Mindy’s eyes widened slightly.

“Oh, sorry, I left them on the counter; please wait just a second while I bring them over.” Mindy frowned as soon as her back was turned. _“Wow, what a brat...still, I guess he is just a kid; if Wing and Zushi know him, maybe he’s not all that bad…”_

“Killua, don’t be rude.” Gon said quietly as Killua slide into the seat next to their old mentor.

“It’s a basic thing to remember; if our server’s that forgetful, she might mess up our order.” Killua said with clear exasperation.

“Sorry ‘bout him, he’s just mad because we haven’t eaten in awhile.”

“Yeah, because somebody ate all my chips.”

“You didn’t say not to.” Gon replied innocently.

“They were in my back pocket!”

“Well, we’re here now, let’s just have fun.” Gon smiled. “So what have you guys been up to?”

Zushi smiled bashfully. “I’ve been training really hard. Master Wing says I might be a Floor Master soon.”

“That’s awesome!”

Wing ruffled Zushi’s hair. “He has been pushing himself a lot lately, so I thought a treat was in order; not to mention, it’s a good chance to visit Mindy.”

“Huh?”

Killua raised an eyebrow. “You guys know her?”

“Yes, she was a pupil of mine; I’m afraid she’s far surpassed me where power is concerned though.”

“Oh no, I’m still learning a lot!” Mindy had come carrying the menus. “If it wasn’t for Wing, I wouldn’t be refining my technique the way I am.”

“Give yourself more credit.” Zushi laughed as she passed around the menus. “Anyone who could be practically on par with Hisoka-”

“You fought Hisoka?” Gon stared up at her in awe. “Did you win?”

“No, I passed out from blood loss and using up too much of my nen. If I had been more focused on that and strategy, I might’ve had a better chance.” Mindy shrugged. “But that’s water under the bridge; these days I’m more focused on becoming a Trouble Hunter.”

“That sounds kinda boring. If you’re that strong, you could be doing a lot more than settling disputes.” Killua remarked. “Hey, can I get juice?”

“Sorry, we don’t have juice; we have tea, coffee, and hot chocolate. I can pour you some plain milk or water.”

“I’m not a little kid, I can drink coffee.”

“I want hot chocolate!” Gon raised his hand. “And my own cake platter!”

Mindy waited patiently as he picked out at least forty or so different pieces of cake; she immediately liked this pleasant boy. His friend on the other hand...well, she’d have to wait and see.

“Alright, no problem.” Mindy smiled and scrawled the order down on her notepad. “Killua, would you like some more time to decide? We have several types of coffee and flavors-”

“I can’t decide if you’re rattling off options.” Killua pointed out. Mindy felt her fingers tighten up on her pad and pen as she put them away in her apron pocket; she smoothed down her skirt and  turned to Gon with a winning smile.

“Then I’ll make sure your order gets started and I will bring you your hot cocoa in a few minutes; refills are free, but if you order a new kind of beverage, that will be an additional cost.” Mindy bowed and turned to Killua. “Please, take your time.”

Wing felt shivers run up and down his spin as Mindy’s heeled shoes clicked against the floor.

“Killua, could you be a bit more civil?”

“What? I’m not doing anything.”

Zushi was sitting with his body curled inwards slightly; he suddenly wished for a warm jacket. “I wasn’t the only who felt that right?”

“Yeah, what was that?” Gon looked around curiously. “Did Mindy do that?”

Killua scoffed and adjusted his collar. “You guys are crazy…”

“Here you go sweetie.” Mindy was back in a minute and gently placed Gon’s steaming mug on his place mat. “And I added a little extra whip cream~”

“Thanks!” Gon took a drink. “OW!”

The mug fell from his hands, but before it could smash the the ground, Mindy caught it with one swift movement; Killua’s eyes narrowed as the burning liquid fell on her skin.

 _“She should be in pain…”_ Killua blinked and activated gyo on his eyes. _“I see. So she used ten that quick huh? Well, she’s got good reflexes.”_

“Gon, you could have at least blown on it.” Wing sighed as he carefully sipped his own tea. “Please, refrain from causing a scene and have some manners.”

“Master, your shirt.”

“....thank you Zushi.”

“Gon, be careful, you could have burned yourself.” Mindy scolded gently.

Killua frowned. “Maybe you guys shouldn’t be serving it that hot.”

“I’m fine, it wasn't that hot.” Gon stuck out his slightly red tongue. “It mostly surprised me!”

“I’ll get you some cold water.” Mindy put his cup back down carefully. “Killua, have you decided on what you want?”

“Same thing as Gon.”

“So, hot cocoa too?”

“I meant just the cake platter. I want plain black coffee.”

“Are you sure? Our regular brew is pretty bitter.” Mindy warned before she wrote down his order; Killua was feeling more irritated by the second.

“I think I can handle it.” he huffed as soon as she was out of sight. “Why is she treating us like little kids?”

 _“You aren’t behaving the most maturely….”_ Zushi ate his cake and decided it best to not further poke the sleeping lion that was Killua’s temper. Gon on the other hand, possessed no such tact.

“Because you’re acting immature?”

“Shut up!” Killua hissed. “I don’t like being looked down on like that; just because she’s a good nen user, doesn’t give her the right to-”

“Killua, that is enough.” Wing set down his cup a bit harder than intended. “I appreciate you’re not feeling well and wish to be given respect, but Mindy has been nothing but courteous.”

“Sorry.” Killua looked down at his hands.

“Just behave. She should be back soon.” Wing smiled and stabbed a piece of cake with his fork. “Relax and enjoy yourself; this cake is quite nice.”

“If you think that’s good, you should try the parfait some time~”

“Hisoka?” Gon blinked and stepped up on his chair to peek over to the next booth; sure enough, there was Hisoka sitting there with an all too familiar smile. “What are you doing here?”

“Gon, how wonderful to see you again! And Killua too,” Hisoka gave them a little wave and winked; both boys shrank back in their seats apprehensively. “Don’t be nervous, I’m just here to enjoy myself as well.”

Wing narrowed his eyes. “How long have you been here?”

“Who can say?”

Zushi blinked slowly. “You could.”

“Oh, but what does it matter? I’m just here to partake in a scrumptious sweet~” Hisoka chuckled. “And to eat cake.”

“Wait, what?”

“Get out, you’re not welcome here.”

Hisoka reluctantly ignored the puzzled Gon as Killua shot him daggers. “Last time I checked,  this was a public establishment; I’ve done nothing to disrupt the peace or interfere with the service, so as a paying customer, I am welcome.”

Wing’s mouth was set in a thin line. “That’s true. He has just as much of a right to be here as we do.”

Killua bristled and leaned over to speak to Wing privately. “But what if he tries to mess with Mindy?”

“I don’t think he’d cause a scene here.” Wing whispered back as Hisoka waited patiently for service. “This may just be a coincidence…”

“Goddammit.”

They all turned to see Mindy standing there with a menu; contrary to what they assumed, she looked more tired than fearful or angry.

“Hisoka, for god’s sake-”

“Well, would you look at that!” Hisoka declared. “I didn’t know you worked here!”

“Horse shit. I swear to fucking god, if you screw up this job for me-”

“Why are you even working? What about your winnings?”

Mindy rolled her eyes. “That can only last me for so long; that aside, this is temporary and I like working here. Just don’t pull any shit and I won’t poison your cake.”

“Did I just hear cursing?” Out of thin air Ms. Walker had popped a few feet behind her startled employee.

“N-no ma’am!” Mindy bowed at the waist, skirt fluttering at the sudden motion; Hisoka leaned over in his chair, but a glare from the others made him shrug casually and sit back up straight.

“Have you taken his-oh, is the circus back in town? I thought they were done for the season?”

Hisoka bit his tongue and smiled. “Oh, I’m a magician ma’am. And I must say, not only do the pastries here look exquisite, but I commend you on your eye for fine fashion.” Hisoka gestured to Mindy’s uniform and Ms. Walker beamed.  
“I designed them myself. Notice how the skirt’s length borders the fine line of conservative appeal and alluring innocence; the transparent frills also put the right touch for emphasis.” Ms. Walker coughed and turned back to Mindy. “Please take this man’s order and do it with a smile.”

“Yes ma’am…” Mindy took out her notepad and smiled coquettishly; Ms. Walker nodded in approval and went back to her duties. “How may I help you?”

“I’d like to start out with a drink.”

“Here’s our menu; it has a wide selection of coffee, tea, and hot cocoa. Would you like some time to decide?”

“Do you have anything with alcohol?”

“Yes, we have a list.”

“What would you recommend?”

“Um guys? Mindy’s aura is freaking me out…” Gon huddled next to Zushi; the coy smile was frozen in place as Mindy gripped her pen with a white knuckled hand.

“May I see your ID?”

Hisoka handed it over. “You know, I asked for an alcoholic beverage so you would see I’m an organ donor.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m willing to give you my heart, among other body parts.”

“.......”

Hisoka shrugged. “I thought it was funny; I’ll take a Bavarian cream.”

Mindy nodded primly. “Coming right up.”

Not fifteen minutes later, both Killua, Gon, and Hisoka’s orders were finished and served gracefully.

“Here’s your coffee.” Mindy placed Hisoka’s mug on the table with a kind smile; a very stretched out, thin smile. “I hope you enjoy it.”

“I assure you," Hisoka placed his hand over hers; the sultry smile made his eyes narrow into slits as they bored into her own wide stare. “I will enjoy it to the very last drop…”

Mindy’s hand slipped away. “Is there anything else I can get you?”

“Hm, let’s see…” Hisoka tapped a sharp-nailed finger to his lips and leaned forward to survey the menu. “I think I will have a slice of the Devil’s food cake.”

“Of course.” Mindy wrote down his order and nodded. “Will that be all?”

“Yes, thank you.” Hisoka drank some of his coffee as Mindy walked away stiffly. He felt eyes on his back and turned around. “Yes?”

“Freak.” Killua sneered.

“What even was that?” Wing sighed.

“I’m not hungry anymore…” Zushi cringed.

Gon looked up from his cake. “Huh?”

Despite their less than welcome neighbor, the four continued to enjoy their meal in relative peace; they caught up with recent events, swapped adventure stories, and ate cake to their hearts content.

“Ughhh.” Killua held his stomach.

Gon looked to be in a similar state. “I can’t eat anymore.”

“There’s still five pieces left.” Wing pointed out. “If you don’t finish, you have to pay the full amount.

Killua sat up in panic, but that made his stomach churn. “No...Gon, finish the rest!”

“I’m full!”

“You weren’t too full to eat my chips, but five pieces of cake is too much?!”

“Let it go already…” Gon moaned. “Uh-oh, Mindy’s coming back…”

“Hey guys.” Mindy looked at the scene; two boys with suddenly protruding guts, five pieces of cake left on ravaged platters, and anxious eyes staring up at her as the clock was a minute away from chiming.

“Um, we-”  
“Oh, I love chocolate!”

Mindy grabbed Killua’s fork and stabbed all five pieces in succession; without further ado, she ate them all in one bite.

“Please excuse me, I couldn’t help myself.” Mindy smiled sheepishly. “Anyway, here’s your receipts! I need to see those people to a table, but I’ll be right back.”

“Mindy, could you please come here for just a moment?” Hisoka asked with a simper; Mindy complied warily.

“Yes?”

Hisoka gestured for her to lean down; she did with a little frown, ready for any tricks he had up his sleeve. But instead of whispering a joke, Hisoka pulled on the back of her uniforms tag and looked it over carefully.

“What?”

“Just as I thought: made in heaven.” As she walked away without a word, Hisoka chuckled with mirth. “She’s so easy to frazzle.”

“Hey, she gave us her employee discount too!” Gon beamed as he looked over his and Killua’s receipt.

 _“Oh great, now I feel bad.”_ Killua looked away with folded arms as Mindy came back to the table.

“Did you find everything okay?”

“It was wonderful.” Wing handed her a tip himself; she knew better than to argue with him, but she still felt her face flush as she pocketed it. “Thank you for the discount.”

“Yeah, thanks a lot!” Gon added and rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry we don’t have extra money to tip you…”

“Oh no, it’s fine.” Mindy played with her skirt self consciously. “Actually, I’m sorry. Wing told me all about you two, and here I was babying you.”

“If you knew we could take care of ourselves-ow!” Killua winced as Gon pinched his cheek.

“Where I’m from, kids have to grow up really fast. I always hated it.” Mindy shrugged her shoulders. “But you two aren’t little kids, so I shouldn’t treat you like it.”

“I lied earlier.” Killua rubbed his red cheek. “Next time I want hot cocoa.”

Mindy smiled and ruffled his hair. “Sure thing.”

“Hey, miss!” A man over the next table was trying to wave Mindy over. “Can I get some service?’

“Oh yes, sorry!” Mindy smiled apologetically and hurried over. “What can I get you?”

Before she could process what was happening the man placed his hand low on her hip.

“First you can tell me when you’re done with your shift.”

Killua’s nails sharpened to talons as Wing stood up from his chair. Hisoka stayed in his seat, idly flipping a card in his hand as his eyes trained on the man’s hand. Gon and Zushi were already halfway toward the table when it was practically thrown in the air.

“Hey, what the hell is your problem?!” The man was silenced as Mindy dug her shoe into the back of his head, making his face smash into the floor; his arms were held behind his back, taut and ready to be popped from their sockets with one wrong move.

“Mindy, what is the meaning of this?!” Ms. Walker stormed over from her section with rage in her eyes.

“Ma’am!” Mindy looked up. “Please, this isn’t...I-I can explain-!”

“You need to kick him where it hurts and then put him in a choke hold; he needs to be disoriented before you throw him out!” Ms. Walker yanked the man from Mindy and practically lifted him over her head as she marched to the door. “I’m sorry for having to resort to violence, but touching the staff is prohibited; we are a cafe, not one of your sleazy clubs.”

The man skidded across the street, narrowly avoiding getting run over.

“There, now-”

“Ms. Walker?” Mindy stood there in bewilderment. “You can use nen?!”

“Yes, but I’m getting rusty. Why do you think I hired you? Your people skills?”

“....sort of…” Mindy blinked. “But, why didn’t you say anything?”

“Does it matter?” Ms. Walker rolled her eyes, seemingly unaware of the customers fearful gazes. “Look, I used to be a Gourmet Hunter; I retired and now I run this place. It’s a pretty nice set up, but I need extra muscle to keep out the freaks who think this is some eye candy centered joint.”

Wing adjusted his glasses. “Well, maybe if the uniforms were a bit less….suggestive.”

“How dare you! These are my custom designs, not some cheap street walker get up! This place is supposed to be for people to be served cute cakes by cute girls in cute clothes!”

Mindy blushed in spite of herself. “Oh, I...I’m not really…”

“Hush up and clean this mess.” Ms. Walker commanded suddenly. “Like I said, we need to tone it down or people will get scared and then what?”

“Yes ma’am.” Mindy saluted as Ms. Walker went off to comfort a family a four. “Well, that could’ve gone worse actually; I was worried I’d get fired.”

“Mindy, you saw us.” Zushi spoke up. “You knew one of us was prepared to take care of that creep.”

“I know...it really wasn't so much you guys, but Hisoka.” Mindy sent said man a weary look. “I knew he’d go all out and kill the guy and then people would say this is the cafe a guy got killed in; murder and cake aren’t the best selling image.”

“I’d be interested~”

Wing’s face still held concern. “Mindy, are you okay?”

She waved her hand dismissively. “Aw yeah, I’m fine. What a douche; hell, I was just gonna scare that guy a little and make him leave on his own.”

“I could’ve taken care of him myself.” Killua’s claws had already retracted; to his surprise, Mindy giggled and poked his nose.

“Thank you, you’re sweeter than I thought you’d be.”

“I never knew going to eat cake would be so exciting.” Gon grinned as he wiped whipped cream from his cheeks. “Let’s come back again soon!”

“Well, I think I’ve had enough excitement for one day; Mindy, how about we meet you tonight at your place for a meal? I feel like you’ve been so busy serving us, we all haven’t had a chance to really talk.”

“Oh, you don’t have to!”

“You brought me dessert.” Wing laughed blithely. “It’s only right I bring you dinner, right?”

“Master, don’t you have any shame?” Zushi looked disapproving as they stood up to leave.

“Huh?”

“Let’s make beef curry!” Gon said as he followed the group to the door. “See you later Mindy, sorry we almost wrecked your workplace!”

Hisoka was the first to exit; he pushed past Killua with a thin smirk. “Don’t get ahead of yourself boy.”

“Hey, I wasn't- argh, **you’re as bad as that creep!”** Killua hissed while Gon held him back.

“Mindy doesn’t think so,” Hisoka gave her a quick wink. “Right?”

“Hisoka. Go home.”

He sulked. “If that’s what you wish...I suppose I’ll just have to scrounge up something to eat for dinner….I wonder if the dumpster next door still has meat left on the discarded chicken bones?”

“Alright, you can come!” Mindy relented with a defeated sigh. “Fuck me...”

“Oh Mindy, how indecent...will you keep the skirt on?~”

**“That’s not what I fucking meant!”**

**“I SAID NO CURSING!”**

  
  
  
  
**Meanwhile:**

“Ugh...crazy bitches…” the man staggered to his feet and stumbled as he tried to make his way through the small crowd, bumping into others carelessly. “Fucking crazy...”

“Watch where you’re walking.”

The man clenched his fists. “Listen here lady-!”

But his words were cut short as Onna laid a blow to the back of his head.

“No, you listen: don’t touch what isn’t yours.” she kicked him into an alley like one would kick a pebble into a pond; with a heavy sigh she looked back into the cafe. There seemed to be some sort of disturbance.

_“An absent minded teacher, a naive child, two miscreants, and a clown.”_

It truly sounded like the set up to some bad joke.

“Onna, wait up!”

“And here’s the punchline.”

Aro titled his head in confusion. “Huh?”

Onna smiled vaguely. ”Don’t mind me. Anyway, Mindy looks quite busy; perhaps we should visit another time.” Without another word, she began walking away; Aro took one look at the cafe and balked.

“Uh, yeah, good idea.” he sped up to walk beside her. “I think we might’ve dodged a bullet here…”

“We dodged an atom bomb.”

Aro glanced over his shoulder. “By the way, why’d you beat up that dude?”

“He disturbed me.”

“Yeah, remind me not to piss you off.”

“Oh, you’ll remember.”


	33. Unfinished Business

“Fight me.”

“Onna-”

“No. We will no longer delay this.” Onna stood in front of the door, blocking my exit. “I’ve already found you, and before you go running off who knows where, I want my rematch.”

“But I just got changed!”

“Excuse me?” Onna drawled.

“I just put on my new dress and I wanted to wear it out today!” I protested and held up the skirt for emphasis. “Isn’t it cute? I found it in the thrift store down the road.”

“You’re wasting time shopping when you should be training.” Onna frowned severely. “I didn’t come all this way to see your new clothes.”

“Onna, can’t we do it later?” I whined. “I just got ready to go out; why don’t you stay here and relax until I-”

Onna scowled at my pause. “Don’t stall.”

“Wait, come with me!” I said as I pushed past her. “There’s a bunch of sales today and I was hoping to find something nice.”

Onna frowned; it was more than clear this idea did nothing for her.

“We won’t be out all day, just a few hours.” I said casually. “Come on, I’ll treat you to food!”

“Food is not the solution to all life’s problems.”

“How?”

“Mindy, if I go with you, will you give me my rematch later today?”

“Sure, no problem.”

We walked together in somewhat tense silence; Onna was staring straight ahead, giving a haughty glare to anyone who dared to look at her for more than a second. This happened far more often than I expected; men in particular seemed unable to pass her by without a quick glance or outright staring.

 _“She’s giving off such a menacing aura...but then again, someone who wouldn’t be able to use nen may not sense it.”_ I thought. _“Still, if I saw her in the street, I’d be too intimidated to approach her.”_

Onna possessed a regal beauty that I couldn’t hope to imitate; straight, fine hair that seemed to sway behind her with each step, strikingly dark eyes, and towering over most people, she seemed to bear a likeness to an statuesque work of art.

 _“If she could stop being so tight assed….how do some girls pull it off, the whole aloof, mystery woman vibe?”_ I wondered as I snuck discreet glances at my companion; where she was willowy, I was stocky; where her eyes and manner gave aways a cool sense of dignity, I found myself an open book, perhaps not so energetic at times, but my emotions were easy enough to gage. Even her manner of speech was so precise and proper, it made me want to roll my eyes at times.

 _“Why is it so important she beats me anyway? Shit, as far as I can see, someone like me who pulled a last minute trick from my sleeve would be beneath her…”_ I thought back to our first normal conversation. _“Is it because I didn’t ruin her shinai? No, it’s gotta be more than that.”_

On cue, Onna adjusted the strap of her shinai’s case; I sort of envied her for this too.

_“Man, and she’s got a cool weapon? I’d probably kill myself by accident if I started waving that thing around…”_

“Are you feeling well?” Onna asked suddenly.

“Oh I’m fine. Hey I was wondering?”

“Is your question necessary?”

“Well, not really, but-”

“Then refrain from speaking. I’m trying to go over the best method of fighting you.”

“Now?! We’re supposed to be shopping.” I reminded her; I caught sight of a frilly summer dress and held it up to her. “Come on, try this shit on!” I frowned for a moment. “Ya know, you always wear that same outfit now that I think about it…”

“Fine.” Onna ground out and marched into the dressing room.

I sat down on the benches outside and waited patiently.

And kept waiting for fifteen minutes.

“Onna?” I knocked on the stall door. “You okay in there?”

“Yes.”

“You sure? It’s kinda been a while…”

“I am fine.” came the sharp response.

“Alright, don’t be so bitchy about it.” I heard a few frustrated grunts coming from the other side of the door. “Onna, just come out.”

“I’ve got it!”

The door flew open and Onna stood outside the threshold with a smug smirk.

“Oh wow, that doesn’t fit you.”

I immediately felt guilty as I saw Onna visibly deflate.

“No, that’s not what I meant! I just...you’d look better in something more grown up, ya know, sexy!”

Onna nodded slowly. “I suppose this is a bit much.” she gave the racks a once over. “Hand me that black top.”

“No, not more black.” I rolled my eyes and searched the hooks; I decided on a blood red shirt with a similar design. “You need some more fucking color.”

“Fine then.” Onna sighed and shut the door; a second later the dress landed on my head. “You try that then.”

“It’s too long for me.”

“Than find a different size of course.”

I grumbled but sought out another size and brought it to the dressing room next to hers.

“Okay, done!”

We stepped outside at the same time.

“Oh wow, that’s perfect!”

She glanced at me. "It suits you.”

Three hours later we had our purchases and were walking back to my motel.

“See, that was fun, wasn’t it?” I smiled; Onna had combed out her hair, making her face look softer overall as she smiled grudgingly. “And didn’t I say that pattern worked on you?”

“It was fun in it’s own way. I was expecting the time to go much more slowly.”

I looked at her questioningly. “Have you ever been out shopping like this?”

“No.”

“Oh.” I said simply. “You know, I don’t know much about you.”

“You know enough.”

We went inside my room and unloaded our bags on the sunken in couch; I locked the door behind me and went to make tea in the small kitchen. I didn’t want her to see my disappointment.

 _“One step forward, two steps back.”_ I sighed and searched for the tea bags I had picked up earlier; Onna was sitting stiffly at the edge of the couch, staring straight ahead. It was like watching a cat stare at nothing. _“Maybe she’s mad because I pushed her to come with me? Had she just been tolerating it to get the rematch?”_

Hell, I knew more about Hisoka than I did about her; after a second of deliberation, I turned off the kettle and sighed. “Okay, let’s do this.”

Onna looked up at me.

“There’s a gym in the lobby, we can fight there.”  
She rose up. “Finally.”

I took my gloves with me as we walked toward the building; the gym was empty at this time of night and we only had about forty minutes until closing.

“Are you prepared?”

I nodded and slipped on my gloves. “All set!”

Onna silently unsheathed her shinai; I could already sense her using her hatsu, so I used gyo on my eyes to see the blade she had conjured from her nen. It wasn’t so long ago a technique like that would have put considerably strain on my aura reserves, but this time was different.

This time was a straight up fight; no last minute tricks, no underestimating, and no lucky shots. Only our own skills and strengths would decide the winner.

She said nothing as she ran forward to swipe at my side; it turned out to be a feint. The moment I sidestepped it, she turned on her heel and stabbed me in the back.

“Shit!” I ran forward and attempted to aim a hit for her elbow; she dodged it just so, and leaped back. I stood there breathing in and out with a hiss; the tip of the blade had only gone in about an inch, though I could already feel blood trickling down and getting my shirt wet.

“Don’t think you can let your guard down.” Onna came at me once more; her blade was a blur, slashing me with shallow strikes, but fortunately not managing to pierce my skin so deeply again. I bobbed and weaved, dancing on the tips of my toes to evade her, but unable to land a direct hit myself yet.

“Back at you!” I growled; I swiped at her leg with my foot, temporarily messing up her stance and causing her to lose her footing.

I jabbed at her continuously with my right hand; the positions were switched and she was attempting to block my punches with the handle of her shinai. As Onna struggled to recover from the rapid punches, I bent my knees slightly and sprung up, my fist crashing into the bottom of her chin in a powerful uppercut that sent her flying.

“You-!”

I jumped into the air and was above her in seconds.

“Got ya.”

The series of punches left her grappling for a defense; one sharp punch to her elbow shocked her into letting go of the shinai. I narrowed my eyes and focused to use ko on my right fist and slammed it into her stomach; she came falling to the ground like a heavy stone. The hard wood floors cracked and caved in where she landed and my eyes widened in fear.

“ONNA!”

As soon as my feet made contact with the ground, I sprinted to where Onna was sprawled out. For a moment, I assumed she was unconscious until she coughed and sputtered back to life.

“My…” she couldn’t rise up, but her arm shakily reached out; I looked around frantically and saw her shinai not too far away in the corner of the gym. I retrieved it for her, incredibly relieved to see it was intact.

I held it above her line of vision. “I got it, it’s fine.”

Onna let out a breath and her body fell limp once more. “You really have grown; and here I thought you were slacking off on your training.” she gave me a sneer, but it was clear she was in pain; her mumbled protests were ignored as I yanked her to her feet and made her lean on me for balance.

“Sorry, I almost broke this.” I had her shinai in my other hand. “You okay?”

“I’m fine. I wasn’t expecting that...Mindy, be honest.”

I let out a sound of confusion as Onna’s head hung as she let me support her weight.

“About what?”

“You held back didn’t you?”

“What, no-!”

“You’re bad at lying.”

I looked away awkwardly. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. This will just be another incentive to train harder.”

I sighed as I helped her limp back to my room. “I guess I’m gonna have to pay for that damage to the floor...Onna, why do you do it?”

“Hm?” she said tiredly.

“All you talk about is strength and training and all that. Isn’t there anything else you like to do?”

“Not really. This is my life.” Contrary to what I would assume, Onna sounded subtly proud. “I told you; my techniques have been passed down, refined, and perfected for generations. My ancestors used to serve shoguns and were civil servants of the highest order; to this day, we uphold that legacy. I myself am the sole member of my generation to be trusted to learn nen and to possess this weapon.”

“Oh, I had no…” I trailed off quietly glancing at the shinai held in my gloved hand. “That’s pretty impressive.”

“Since I’ve mastered the art, I’ve been undefeated.” Onna huffed. “Well, I was.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t.” she told me sharply despite her weakened state. “It was bad enough for you to hold back, but I won’t accept pity for losing. I assure you, my pride is still intact.”

“So, this is sort of like a tradition?”

“Yes.”

“Do your parents know you lost before?”

“My whole family knows. It was them who have helped me improve after all. They pushed me to exceed my limits again and again; they all have high standards for me.” Onna smiled softly. “I’d hate to let them down, not when I’ve been entrusted with something so precious.”

“The shinai?”

“Their respect. Their customs and expectations; they depend on me to be the one to teach my younger siblings and cousins, and to chose the next heir to wield this shinai someday.”

“Does that mean all the people who have before were conjurers?”

“No; it is still possible to use other nen techniques to create an effect similar to the invisible blade, but this way is the most successful for defeating opponents.” Onna cast me a curious look. “I see you’ve become more adept at using your aura capacity to your advantage; you hardly seem winded.”

“I do feel kind of tired, but it’s not nearly as bad as before.” I adjusted my glasses. “You know, gyo would be useless if I didn’t have these on though. Wouldn’t be able to see squat.”

We made it back to my room and I laid her down on the couch.

“You still want tea?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“Sure thing.” I busied myself in the kitchen, taking my time to heat up the water and find cups; Onna would most likely want to leave as soon as she felt up to it.

“Are you not concerned about your wound?”

“My...oh yeah!” I chuckled and popped back into the living room to show her my healed cut under the stained shirt “Wing taught me how to use my nen to speed up the process, but I can really only do it this fast on smaller stuff.”

Onna looked up at the ceiling in silence.

“...so, what’s your family like?” I tried to lighten the mood. “It sounds like they think a lot of you.”

“They do...unfortunately, I haven’t been able to meet their standards just yet.” 

“Is it a lot of pressure?” I inwardly cringed; was that too personal a question? But Onna seemed unphased.

“I suppose, but it’s a good feeling too you might say.” she replied. “My family counts on me; we support each other, despite our unorthodox traditions. Though I’m sure your family has much less extreme expectations of you.”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “So, how do you like your tea?”

“Milk, no sugar.” Onna sat up slowly on the couch.

“Is your family big?” I felt curious in spite of my apprehension of the subject. “Do you guys have family reunions and get together for holidays and stuff?”

“When we can; I live with my immediate family, but we all live in compounds connected to our relatives. Holiday gatherings aren't a hassle, seeing as how we all live in such close vicinity.”

“Wow, you guys sound pretty close. Are they worried about you living outside of that?”

“Not at all; even the youngest of us has some fighting ability.” Onna looked mildly amused. “What about your family? Surely they feel a bit uneasy knowing someone just finding her footing is traveling from place to place?”

I focused on making our tea. “They’re fine with it.”

“Come to think of it,” Onna began nonchalantly. “You seem quite partial to holidays; I’m surprised you haven’t spent them at home for the past few years.”

I took a sip from my cup. “Onna, what’s your favorite holiday?”

She set down her own with a frown. “Why are you evading my questions?”

“What? I just asked you what your favorite holiday was.” I smiled and rolled my eyes. “I’m curious; no offense, but you don’t seem like one for sentimental stuff.”

“In fact, I’m nearly certain you’ve never mentioned a thing at all about your family.” Onna pressed unflinchingly. “It seems quite odd, at least for someone as sentimental as you are.”

“I’m not that sentimental.” I said wryly. “They’re just fun. I like decorating and cooking and stuff. Who wouldn’t like holidays?”

“You just did it again.”

“I’m not doing anything!” I retorted. “I was just trying to make small talk.”

“The why don’t we talk about your family?”

“There’s not much to talk about; why do you want to talk about it so badly?”

“Why are you so adamant about not talking about it? You were fine when I was answering your questions, but you’re so tight lipped suddenly.”

“I don’t know that much about you. Sorry for trying to be polite.”

“Now you’re trying to make me feel guilty so you can avoid the subject.”

“Onna, will you stop it already?!”

“I can see it all over your face. You’re a bad liar.”

 **“Fine.”** I slammed my cup down and Onna flinched. “What do you want to know? How my dad made me and my mom’s life hell for years? How he smacked us around, stole our money, and blew it all on drugs? Oh, I know, how about how she couldn’t take it anymore and left me? You want to hear about how I stayed outside for hours in the cold just to avoid him? You wanna hear about how he left when there was no money? I don’t fucking know where they are, we don’t spend fucking holidays together, and they don’t expect shit from me because they’re **GONE!”**

"I-"

"I don’t have a family. Is that what you wanted to hear so bad...?”

Onna was just studying at me without a trace of emotion; I could see myself reflected in her black eyes and I saw how truly pathetic I must have looked to her.

How I must have looked to everyone.

I curled my fists and fought to keep my voice from shaking. “Dammit, why did you want to hear this? So you could see how much of a loser I always was compared to you?”

“No. I thought perhaps you’d want to talk about it.”

“I don’t! I would never...” I bent my head, unable to look her in the eye; nothing seemed to matter anymore.

Not our day out, not our match, not my shallow victory, not my disappointment over how long I had wasted away in that shit neighborhood, and not my stupid attempt to forget a man who could give about as much of a shit as my family; the pain was coming back in droves as fresh as the morning I woke up and called out for my mom, but heard no answer. I was left to pick up the pieces of my sorry life and try to find something else all over again. Anything, to use as an excuse to keep going.

“Do you miss them?”

“What's the point...” I said tonelessly. “It’s over. Why the hell would you think I’d even want to talk about it?”

“I...I’m sorry.”

I looked up at her; Onna's eyes were swimming in emotion, but even so, her gaze never broke from mine.

“I was attempting to understand you better; you must think I-”

“You didn’t know.” I said softly. “ _I’m_ sorry. I was being a hypocrite. I felt like I barely knew you, but it went both ways. I didn’t mean to do that.”

Onna chuckled hollowly. “I wasn’t expecting that from you. You always seem so at ease; I figured they were like you.”

“Like me?”

“Earnest, kind…a bit uncouth.”

I sighed. "Like I said, there’s no point in me feeling bad; they’re not feeling bad about it. If they did, they would’ve contacted me in the last eight years. Why should I feel sad?”

“Liar.” Onna smiled knowingly.

“Well, sometimes.”

“May I tell you something?”

I nodded.

“My grandmother passed away when I was young. It was she who gave me this.” Onna held her shinai with gentle hands and an even more tender smile. “I miss her, even now. I’ve come so far, but she wasn’t able to see it.”

I blinked away my own tears. “I’m sorry. I’ve never known someone I loved who died.”

“It puts things into perspective.”

“Huh?”

“I lost someone who loved me; she didn’t want to leave me, but she had to. You lost someone you loved as well.”

“I guess...I mean, that’s not really the same though.” I said. “They aren’t dead, at least as far as I know.”

“You didn’t lose them by circumstance. They chose to leave you. I had my family to fix the pain I felt from my grandmother’s death. You were left with nothing; I would have never thought someone like that, could be like you.”

I felt my cheeks grow warm under her intense stare; it was almost like she admired me.

“I want to defeat you, someone who’s found strength in both body and mind. In short, I consider you a comrade; I will cut you down someday.”

I stared at my friend uncertainly. “Oh, that’s...nice. Thanks?”

“You're welcome.” Onna smirked slightly; it faded as I looked down at my hands. "You should talk about it more.”

I didn’t say anything.

“You’re already pretty open. Why are you avoiding talking about this?” Onna asked slowly. “It’s not good to keep negative emotions bottled up.”

I frowned. “You’re the most stoic person I know.”

“I don’t pretend hide my feelings though, not like you do. You can’t do that to the people who care about you...you don’t have to pretend everything is fine when it’s not. How will you be able to cope when it becomes too much?”

“Onna, I don’t...I don’t **like** feeling this way. I want to forget. I want to feel okay for once.”

“You’re only human, despite your animal like appetite.” Onna tried to joke, but I couldn’t find it in myself to smile. “It’s not so easy; no matter what, you will feel emotions you’d rather avoid. To just always feel okay with yourself and your life? Do you really expect something like that to happen?”

“No.” I shook my head. “I just want it to.”

“Focus on now. And don’t forget the people who do want you in their life.” Onna picked up her tea. “My grandmother was a philosopher; she would always say, ‘all we can do is follow the straightest path; when you reach the end, feel unburdened despite what you had to carry to get there’.”

I scratched my head. “I don’t follow.”

“Confront your real feelings and embrace them, or you’ll never stop chasing happiness.” Onna explained. “Basically, whatever your feelings are and wherever they take you, go with them.”

“That sounds kinda irresponsible.”

“It’s your life, isn’t it? Tell me, if you were to die tomorrow, would you have any regrets?”

“....you got me there.” I smiled faintly.

“Everyone has something they regret...all we can do is move forward and try not to make the same mistakes.” Onna told me; she looked away with a faint flush high on her defined cheeks. “I would have regretted it if we hadn’t spent the day together.”

I smiled; it felt like the wall we had accidentally put up was crumbling. At least I would have one less thing to regret.

“That shirt does look great on you.”

“I know, right?”


	34. Caught in the Spider's Web

Machi had nerves of steel.

She was the kind of woman who never thought twice about being alone in an unfamiliar area, even one that looked as sketchy as the street she was currently wandering. 

That being said, she was also the kind of woman who got comparably easily irritated by the little things, though she normally would only let a tiny bit of that irritation show in all situations; patching up a man’s severed arms? No problem, just inconvenient. Espionage, murder? Whatever. Thievery of the most heavily guarded items known to man? Just another day for her.

Maybe it was due to living her life under extreme conditions that made her less than pleased to have to cope with daily annoyances as opposed to being able to tangle with the strange and disturbing without batting an eyelash. 

For example, having that same man torture her with ramblings and suggestive lines whenever they were assigned to work together? She had to restrain the urge to strangle him with her nen threads. Missing keys, burnt toast left too long in the toaster, stepping out in the rain without an umbrella? She would huff softly to herself and trudge on reluctantly through her business. 

And being lost in a vaguely confusing area?

 _“Damn…”_ Machi sighed; on some sort of fluke, her phone and by extension her map that was supposed to lead her to the cafe she and her associate had to meet at, was low on battery.

The map application was malfunctioning. The people she asked in passing were less than helpful and she hadn't been in the area on a previous occasion. The more she looked, the more lost she felt.

 _“I still have time...if I could just find someplace to charge this phone, I could get the map back up."_ Machi thought as she looked around carefully; it wouldn’t do to get out of sorts when the solution to her mishap was obvious and easily remedied.

“Hi."

Machi stopped and turned around, gritting her teeth at her planning being interrupted. “Yes?”

“Hey, uh, you aren’t lost are you?”

Machi contemplated the woman for a moment; she didn’t look suspicious or like she'd cause her any hassle. And if she knew where the cafe was, that would save her needing to wait for her phone to work.

“I’m looking for Gentle Drop Cafe.”

“Oh!” the woman’s suddenly exclamation nearly made Machi flinch; what in the world was she shouting for?

"Do you know it?"

“I’m going there now, you can just follow me.”

Machi raised an eyebrow; the woman was now holding out her hand. On closer inspection, there was dirt and grime in the creases of her palm; the stranger looked down to Machi’s line of vision and smiled apologetically before wiping her hand on stained jeans.

“Sorry, just got off work. My name’s Mindy.”

“What do you do?” Machi asked to avoid giving her any information; on principle she wasn’t all that eager to share personal tidbits and she wasn't in the mood for chatting. Mindy on the other hand seemed more than willingly to talk, diving into her answer without hesitation.

“I work for a landscaping company; just started a couple weeks ago actually.” Mindy explained. “You know, you look a bit familiar. Do you live here?”

“Just visiting.” Machi said shortly, trailing just a few centimeters behind Mindy and watching her covertly out of the corner of her eye when she looked away.

“Same here; I’ve kinda been floating from place to place for a bit. I might stay here a little longer than usual.” Mindy smiled genially. “Still, this spot in particular can be a bit shady at night; just a heads up.”

“I don’t plan to stay long. I’m meeting an acquaintance soon.” Machi replied; they walked on for at least twenty minutes, Mindy keeping up the one-sided conversation while Machi nodded to show she wasn’t completely ignoring her and gave vague answers when asked a question.

“Like I said, this area ain't the best, but the food here is good and cheap” Mindy grinned as they approached the cafe; it needed a fresh coat of paint and someone to clean up the trashed parking lot, but it would do. Machi wasn’t one to care, the more inconspicuous, the better; she would meet Hisoka, relay what he needed to know, and take her leave.

 _“I wonder why the boss keeps him around...he’s strong for sure, but he’s unreliable. He should’ve been here by now...and what’s she still doing here?”_ Machi glowered at the menu in front of her; Mindy was sitting across from her with an eager smile as she picked out her own dinner from the list. 

“Ooh, the fried shrimp is half off today!” Mindy wiggled in her seat.

“How nice.” Machi pinned her with a meaningful look; all she got in return was a blank stare.

“Don’t like shrimp? Their burgers are pretty good.”

A waiter was at their table already, patiently waiting for them to make a decision; or maybe he wasn’t rushing them just so he could find enough time to think of a way to catch Machi’s eye. He barely took his own off her since he approached the table.

“Miss, would you like to try our grilled chicken?” he asked her while twirling his pen, a trick he must have thought looked charmingly playful.

“Sure.” Machi handed him back the menu; she didn’t seem to even register his presence. “And a water.”

“Hey, has anyone ever told you how pretty you are?”

Machi looked at him from the corner of her eye with the utmost apathy.

“You’re the cutest girl here; I mean, your friend's okay, but you? You could be a model.”

Mindy fidgeted in her seat awkwardly. “Dude, leave me out of this…”

“Get us our food or get out of my sight.” Machi said tiredly and turned to look out the window; the waiter glared at her.

“Hey, don’t be a bi-”

“Fuck you!” Mindy stood up, knocking over her chair; the loud bang got the attention of the other patrons and staff. Machi blinked and looked up at her; she could sense a thin veil of hostile aura surrounding her person, but Mindy herself didn't seem aware of it.

 _“What is she-?”_ Machi’s eyes widened for an instant before she gazed at her unwelcome companion shrewdly. _“I feel like the room is about to freeze over….”_

“Hey, there’s no need to get jealous.” the waiter’s bravado was slipping as Mindy took a step forward; she almost seemed to tower over him. Machi was reminded of a bear, usually hunched over and lumbering about, suddenly standing on it’s hind legs.

“Did you not fucking hear her? Shut the **fuck up**  and get our food!”

The waiter flinched at the harsh curse and left grudgingly.

“Oh wait. I didn’t order anything.” Mindy sat back down. “Shit, I’m really hungry….goddammit, should I call him back?”

“What was that about?”

“Sorry...it’s because of pricks like him I sat down here in the first fucking place. I'd feel bad leaving you alone in this area, ya know?”

“You can use nen.”

“Huh? Oh yeah. Can you?” Mindy asked, curious and looking at her with a sort of awe, a much different look than the scowl she had worn just moments before; it was as if she was a completely different person. “I’m an enhancer!”

“Does that mean you’re a Hunter?”

“Yeah, but I haven’t actually decided what to do with my license just yet.” Mindy confided. “How about you?”

“No.”

“Really?”

Machi sighed under her breath; she was getting tired of this. Maybe she needed to be more blunt.

“I’m a member of the Phantom Troupe.”

Mindy blinked. “Oh. I’ve heard of them.”

Machi cast her a dark look and waited for her to leave; Hisoka was already late and Mindy was getting on her nerves. And who did she think she was, assuming Machi needed her assistance? If Mindy was a nen user, she surely could have sensed Machi’s aura at least a bit. She had assumed Mindy was ignorant and there was no need to conceal it in her presence when she was previously frustrated.

“So, what’s your hatsu?”

The corners of Machi’s lips were drawn down ever so slightly.

“What does it matter?”

“Just curious. You know, you remind me of someone…” Mindy’s thoughtful expression turned to glee as soon as a server, this time a nervously smiling waitress, placed their food down in front of them. Machi raised an eyebrow; her plate was loaded with not only chicken, but shrimp, slices of beef, and a fresh salad. Mindy’s plate looked similar.

“We added these extras, free of charge, as an apology for what happened.” The waitress bowed her head. “Please enjoy.”

“Holy shit, this looks great!” Mindy squealed and was already chewing on the perfectly fried shrimp. “Thanks! Wow, that was nice of them-hey, aren’t you hungry?”

Machi was placing her slices of beef and shrimp on Mindy’s already full plate. “I can’t eat this much.”

“Thank you, that’s so sweet!” Mindy beamed, cheeks flushed in pleasure as she helped herself. Machi was stone faced.

“I didn’t do it for you. This is too much for me to finish.”

“You could’ve just let it sit there.” Mindy smiled.

“It was logical. You certainly look like you can eat your fair share…”

Mindy snorted and grinned as she helped herself to the food. “Yeah, I know. It was still considerate of you, especially since you must think I’m being patronizing.”

Machi looked up from her plate, brow somewhat furrowed; Mindy smiled apologetically and swallowed her food down roughly.

“I could sense about how strong you were right away; I know you probably feel annoyed, but I still didn’t feel right leaving.” Mindy grabbed her plate by the sides. “If you want, I can go. Your friend will be here soon right?”

“He is not my friend.” Machi looked vaguely disgruntled at the thought of Hisoka hearing her be referred to as such. _“He should’ve been here by now.”_

“Oh, so this is a date?”

**“No.”**

“Sorry.” Mindy sunk into the back of her chair. “Just asking.”

Machi looked at her coldly. “That person is barely tolerable. He prattles on about nothing, acting as if life was one big game, and he never seems to stop playing with those stupid cards.”

Mindy felt a bead of sweat run down her back. “Er, cards huh?”

She already did know about the Phantom Troupe; granted, Hisoka had only mentioned it in passing a few times before, about him being a member (sort of), and even a little about some of the other members. As Mindy racked her brain for the information told to her so long ago, the pieces quickly began falling into place.

“Yes.” Machi let nothing show, but on the inside she was still somewhat irked. “Why did you stay?”

“I wanted my food.”

“I meant, why you’re sitting here. I don’t need you to do it.”

“I know. I don’t mind anyway.”

Machi crossed her arms and looked out the window; as she studied the parking lot, she was reminded of something.

“It can’t be.” Machi immediately felt a headache coming on. “Don’t tell me, you’re the Mindy that clown mentioned.”

“Huh?”

“Are you deaf?” Machi said in a clipped tone; this whole situation was getting more grating as time went on. “Hisoka, you know him?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“How?”

“How?” Mindy cringed at Machi’s glare. “Um, we met a few years back. He wants to fight me, I don’t really want to...it’s a bit weird.”

“Of course.” Machi sighed. “What are the odds…”

Mindy shrugged. “So, he annoys the shit out of you too huh? Sorry ‘bout that; I’m sure it’s just because he likes you.”

“That isn’t comforting.” A sudden metallic sound roused Machi from her frustration; Mindy had dropped her fork halfway to her mouth.

“Holy shit.”

“What?”

“I’ve gotta go. Sorry, here.” Mindy slapped a few bills to cover the meal. “It was nice to meet you!”

Before Machi could refuse, Mindy was bolting out the door, which smashed against the frame, making the glass crack slightly.

“Shit, sorry!” Mindy jogged in place and waved before Machi could so much as breathe a word.

 _“What in the…?”_ Machi coughed; she had felt a suddenly tickling sensation in her throat. She cleared her throat once more for good measure and picked at her salad greens. _“That idiot better be here soon; I won’t wait around all night.”_

As the waitress from before went over to inspect the door, it was swung open and Hisoka came strolling in as though he wasn’t nearly an hour late.

“About time.”

“Sorry, I was-”

“Don’t care.” Machi nodded for him to sit and leaned in ever so slightly. “I was told to tell you the next meeting place personally. We can’t exchange this sort of info over the phone…”

“Can’t we have supper first? You’ve already ordered; we never get to have any fun together....”

“I had no choice. Your friend felt the need to escort me here and she made me order food too.” Machi told him. “Now, the location-”

“Friend?”

“Mindy, isn’t it? I’m certain it was the same one.” Machi said in hardly contained exasperation. “She showed me how to get here, insisted on staying and then she took off suddenly. She must have decided to run while she had the chance.”

“Mindy was here?” Hisoka closed his eyes for a few seconds. “Oh yes...I can sense it. She was here recently?”

“Just a few minutes before you showed up.”

“What a coincidence~ I haven’t seen her in months.” Hisoka rubbed his chin. “Did she ask about me?”

“....add conceited to the list of your faults.”

“Machi, don’t be cross with me.”

“I’m tired. I just wish for this to be done so I can leave and find a motel to stay in.”

“We can find a place.”

“Alone, and preferably not in this town.”

“I see.” Hisoka pouted. “By the way...what did you think of her?”

“I didn’t.” Machi replied simply.

“Come now, you must have some opinion. She’s the kind of person you can know in under fifteen minutes of talking.”

“She’s too good for you.”

“Ouch.”

“She’s also too careless. What are your plans for her?”

“Oh, is someone curious?” Hisoka leaned across the table with a sly smile. “Or perhaps jealous?”

“I should ask you the same thing.”

“Pardon?”

A hint of smugness was in Machi’s eyes; she had hit the target exactly.

“Curiosity. You’re quite interested in what’s going on with her, despite not evening contacting each other for months.”

“Are you actually finding this funny?”

“Not particularly.” Machi gave a little shrug. “But a bit; she was quite amusing herself come to think of it. But…”

Hisoka cocked his head and focused his eyes on her face; Machi revealed only so much through her expressions, it was rare anyone could see past the frosty tone and little frown. Plain, open emotion was even rarer.

“She’s powerful.”

“Did you fight her?”

“I-” Machi stopped. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Hm?”

“You look less than pleased.”

“Well, did you fight her?”

“No.”

“Ah, good. She refuses to fight me...I’d feel so left out if you two hit it off.”

Machi frowned deeply. “I have no interest in fighting or getting to know her. I don’t want any part in your personal business. Anyway, when she lost her temper, she nearly beat up one of the employees here.”

“Mindy? She lost her temper?” Hisoka looked genuinely surprised. “How odd; what in the world set her off?”

“One of the waiters was harassing me; she thought it her place to step in and cause a ruckus.”

Hisoka looked away with a slight pout. “She never got mad on my behalf.”

“Perhaps because she was too busy being mad at you?”

“Machi...are you smiling? What’s so funny?”

Machi huffed and crossed her arms tightly. “Just listen up; I’m done talking about this and we have business to attend to.”

 _“She’s a kind person, at least from what I can tell.”_ Machi glanced up at Hisoka as he took the paper she passed him across the table. _“What a fool, to get involved with this despicable man….I suppose it can’t be helped.”_

 _“So she’s here now?”_ Hisoka had left the cafe without further ado; Machi was already hailing a cab to take her to the nearest train station. It was important for the Spiders to conduct their meetings not only in secrecy, but with swift focus.

 _“I thought I smelled her scent here….I thought maybe she had just passed through, but Machi said herself.”_ Hisoka’s laugh was as giddy as a schoolboy’s. _“She’ll be so surprised! I’ll pay her a visit, we can catch up, and then-”_

He stopped in his tracks and frowned; the humor of the situation was dulled suddenly. It was nearly the middle of the night and he had no idea exactly where she was. From what Machi said of her reaction, it was possible Mindy was already in the process of leaving.

After all, Mindy had made it clear how she felt; while she had displayed no hostility towards him, it was a bit far fetched to believe she would accept him into her current lodging with open arms.

And why should she? He had given her nothing to make Mindy feel obligated to welcome him; he wasn’t her lover or friend or even rival. Machi had only mentioned him, yet she had fled and in her haste had even broken the door; it was obvious she didn’t want to be seen by him or to see him. She may not have hated him, or even disliked him; Mindy wasn’t the kind of woman to hold grudges or ill feelings. But that being said, she also didn’t care to see him.

And so, for the first time since they had met each other, Hisoka was unnecessary.

 

  
  


 

**First Person POV:**

_“That was weird; I can’t believe it, I probably just barely missed him.”_ I sighed in relief as I shed my clothes; the hotel I was staying in had washer and dryers inside each suite, but I was too tired to use them. I slipped on my rumpled pajamas and went to the kitchen for some water.

 _“Damn, I dodged a bullet.”_ The last thing I needed was to be treated to an awkward meeting between two associates, one of which I had previously slept with and still had a relatively shaky connection to. _“She was actually pretty normal all things considered; I thought all the members would be as crazy as Hisoka…”_

I felt so tired; if Hisoka really was here, I might want to start thinking about moving on. It was too soon to see him again; why did it have to be now anyway, just when I was settling in? I didn’t want to quit my job or leave the town, at least not yet.

 _“I’m not ready for this…”_ I sighed and sat down on the bed, my neglected cup of water resting on the nightstand. _“Okay, calm down. It sounds like they’re here on a mission or something. Hisoka doesn’t even know where I am.”_

I recalled when he said he would have to leave me when going on jobs; all that aside, it was highly unlikely Machi would even mention me. She didn’t seem very partial to him, chances are she might not breathe a word out of spite.

I crossed my fingers. _“Come on spite, don’t fail me now!”_

The doorbell rang.

_“Goddammit…”_


	35. The Unexpected

“Hello?”

I stood where I was, staring at the door and waiting.

“Hi, I’m just gonna leave this here…” the voice said uncertainly.

A couple of envelopes went under the crack of the door; I stepped over carefully and picked them up. The voice wasn’t Hisoka’s or anyone I knew.

 _“Oh, it’s just junk mail.”_ From a bit of a distance I heard a door open and close; after letting out a sigh, I threw the envelopes into the trash.

_“Look at me; it was just a neighbor for god’s sake.”_

The paranoid anxiety was gone and I sank down onto a dining room chair. I tried to clear my head and think over my options.

 _“Okay, Hisoka is in town. Let’s think rationally before I run outta here.”_ I sighed. “Machi doesn’t seem like the kind of person to mention me….and if he’s here on a job, he’ll probably gonna be gone soon.”

The again, he wasn’t as business minded as Machi; what if he sensed I had been there? What if Machi did just happen to say something? Or maybe he would have seen me when I was making my escape.

 _“I’m not ready for this. Just thinking baout seeing him now...I feel so apprehensive...”_ I exhaled through my nose and just listened to the faint sounds of cars going by and a few miscellaneous noises from the other rooms. It was night already; Hisoka had been late to the meeting. Maybe he wasn’t even in town yet, had decided to find a place somewhere else to stay the night and reschedule his meeting with Machi.

_“I don’t know...maybe I should just pack my stuff.”_

My job was ideal for me; it required mostly heavy lifting and physical labor, something I could do pretty easily even without using my nen enhanced strength. I smiled wryly thinking of what Hisoka’s reaction would be if he knew I was using it for that instead of fighting him.

I liked where I was and had hoped to stay for a bit, but it seemed like circumstance had different ideas. I could call in the morning, say there was a personal emergency, a death in the family, and quit to go back home to help sort things out. I was only part time; I didn’t even have that many things with me, aside from clothes and a couple of personal items.

I could leave tomorrow morning no problem, but even so, I felt embarrassed at the idea. Why was it such a big deal? So what if Hisoka was there?

_“I mean, what am I expecting? If we do run into each other, it’s not like we said goodbye on bad terms. I haven’t even heard from him in months, he’s probably not even thinking about me.”_

A new sense of relief was coming over me the longer I thought; my first reaction was completely silly. Tomorrow I could stay in; I didn’t have work for a few days, so I’d really only need to leave the hotel for some food and supplies. And if Hisoka did somehow come to see me, what did it matter? We chat, he’d say something weird, we’d part ways and everything would go back to normal.

The vibrating sensation in my pocket was what brought me back to reality; I sighed in exasperation and looked at the caller ID. An unfamiliar number; screw it.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Mindy?”

“Yes, who’s this?” I raised an eyebrow. _“Great another telemarketer. I’d recognize that toneless voice.”_

“I’m acquaintances with Hisoka; he’s mentioned you before and I thought it would be appropriate for me to be the one to inform you he’s dead.”

“....what.”

“We were on a job. He left his post to fight one of our targets one on one. He wasn’t as strong and was killed; I thought you’d want to know.”

I waited for more, but the other line went dead; I went through my call log, but the number was blocked.

_“He can’t be serious.”_

I slowly lowered the phone from my ear. _“Who says that and just hangs up? Who even was that?”_

Everything in my line of sight was out of focus, I nearly dropped the phone on the floor trying to set it on the table.

Their voice sounded so careless. It must have been a joke; Hisoka wasn’t dead. It wasn’t possible; it was unthinkable that his body would be prone and lying under the dirt. I felt my stomach churn thinking about the maggots and worms that would find their way into his skin.

I remembered too well the day he killed that mugger, how the man’s body had grown stiff as a board as he lay bleeding out on my scarf; I watched as the only light in his eyes came from the street lamp above us and his skin grew pallid.

That was what Hisoka would be like about now, not a person, not anyone. Just a corpse.

_“He’s gone. I won’t see him again.”_

His memories, his face, his voice, his smile, his thoughts had ceased to exist. He was dead.

I felt my bottom lip tremble from holding back a dry sob. I could have said goodbye earlier, if I wasn’t so scared to confront him. That day I left, I had no idea those words would be the last I heard from him.

_“I...don’t even remember what he said.”_

The tears came out all at once, hot and stinging as I clasped a hand over my mouth tightly.

“Oh god...Hisoka.”

"Here." A tissue was pressed into my hand.

"T-thanks." I blew my nose loudly and sobbed. "I-"

"Here, clear your throat." A glass of water was held out and I took it carefully, staring at the liquid with blurry eyes.

"Thank you." 

I spit out half of the water as Hisoka's smiling face appeared in my line of sight.

**Third Person POV:**

Unnecessary; by definition, something or someone that was not needed.

Unessential. Unwarranted.

Dispensable, expendable, unwanted, undesired, and a few other dozen words and phrases to describe it, but they all amounted to one simple idea.

Something that did not have reason to be; it was neither liked or disliked. It was just there.

“Illumi, could you do me a teensy little favor?”

“No.”

“Is that any way to treat a friend? I only need you to make a phone call for me; and I’ll owe you one~”

“Fine, what is it?”

As it stood, Hisoka served no real purpose in Mindy’s life.

“ _I didn’t expect tears this fast.”_ Hisoka was peeking through the tiniest crack in the closet doorway; it was way too easy to sneak in. He didn’t even need to use nen, just a stray bobby pin.

Through the tears, Mindy’s eyes were dulled; Hisoka had seen a similar look on when she was in anguish; this moment should have been private and it made Hisoka all the more giddy to witness the scene as he pressed his face further against the opening of the door until the corner of his eye was being dug into by the edge it.

Mindy's eyes held nothing but shock and hurt, as though the world had just come crashing down on her; she trembled violently. She looked so small.

A abrupt whimper interrupted Hisoka’s train of thought.

“Oh god...Hisoka…”

He couldn’t bare it any longer; his hand pushed the door open, and he smiled as Mindy took her time noticing where the items handed to her were coming. He stood up and as she stared, a violent shudder passed through her body and she shook like a startled cat, causing the chair to fall back and her to go down with it.

“It’s been a while.” Hisoka stepped forward and she shrunk back from his offered hand. He grabbed her and hauled her up to a standing position.

“You’re dead…”

“Oh, that was my friend. Do forgive him, I used a bribe to get him to help me with this little prank.” Hisoka chuckled heartily at Mindy’s widened eyes. He cupped her cheek and leaned in tracing a thumb under her eyes to wipe a stray tear; she tried to back away but he held fast.

“There, there, it’s okay...”

The impact of her fist against his ribs made his smile falter.

**First Person POV:**

I was angry.

My fist was lodged through his stomach. I heard a crack and it spurred me to strike him again, this time in the cheek.

And then I couldn’t stop.

“Mi-”

I grabbed his throat with a growl and the back of his knocked against the edge of the table as we fell on the floor. The hollow sound of his skull banged against the surface did nothing to bring me out of my stupor. I was too far gone for that.

Blood leaked from the gash on his temple and I wanted to make him bleed more, to make him feel something, anything to wipe the faint smirk off his face. His eyes shined as he stared up at me, his mouth parted but he said nothing as I punched him in the jaw; he must have accidentally bit down on his tongue from it, because now blood was coming from his slack mouth.

I glared down at him; it wasn’t enough.

_“I hate him.”_

I straddled him and used my weight to pin him in place as I threw punch after punch, to his chest and stomach, but most to his face.

_“I **hate** him.”_

I screamed wretchedly and my bleeding fist made contact one last time, splitting his lip as purple red bruises were just blooming on his pale skin; my breathing was harsh as I felt the stiffness leave my joints and the adrenaline fade. He hadn’t uttered a sound throughout the attack, hadn’t even moved to defend himself. The cold satisfaction made my anger dull, but what I felt was only part of what made my rage die down.

Hisoka’s hips were gently rocking upward; I stared down into his eyes for the first time and recognized the clouded over desire.

“No, don’t stop now.” he whispered breathlessly and gripped my waist, grinding up with low gasp. “Don’t stop…”

My mouth fell open in horror as I tore out of his grasp and fled into my room.

**Third Person POV:**

Hisoka took a moment to bask in his pain; the sharp sting caused by her blows had devolved to a constant dull throb. His face might have even swelled up a bit where she had struck his jaw; he could taste blood from a half dislodged tooth.  With a blissful smile, the tiny gap was poked at experimentally with his tongue and wobbled; with one hand, Hisoka slowly yanked it out.

_“Mindy…”_

The tooth was flicked away carelessly as Hisoka let his arm flop back over his stomach. The hand hovered over his bulge, but was pulled away last minute.

 _“No, not yet...I have to calm down or we can’t have any fun at this rate.”_ Hisoka closed his eyes and laughed, coughing up a bit of the blood still oozing from his mouth. He hadn’t expected her to get that angry; she had gone above his expectations, and he wondered if it would have been possible for him to actually throw her off if he had tried to fight back.

After a few more moments of taking it all in, Hisoka listened to the silence; Mindy wasn’t making a peep from her room. With a groan, he reluctantly stood up; why couldn’t she just come back to him? He didn’t mind the floor.

Hisoka staggered to the door and knocked lightly.

“Are you mad at me still?”

Silence; but at least this time her first impulse hadn’t been to withdraw from him. Hisoka opened the door; Mindy was laying sideway on the bed, covers pulled up nearly over her head.

“I can see you~” Hisoka shut the door behind him; the sound made the blanket covered lump tremble and Hisoka crawled over her slowly. Mindy didn’t resist as the blankets were pulled away. “I had no idea you would go that far...my ribs are probably fractured.”

Mindy turned to him; he could see the guilt in her expression and it tickled him how not only minutes before she looked ready to kill.

“Shouldn’t you go to the hospital?”

“No, I can barely feel it.” Hisoka settled down and pulled her against him; his hiss of pain made her stiffen as she rolled over.

“Hisoka-”

“Sh, it’s okay.” Hisoka made her lie back down. “I guess I should apologize...were you really that sad?”

Her eyes flashed briefly in anger, but soon they were as placid as ever. “Let me guess; you wanted to get me angry enough to attack you?”

“Close.”

“Well, it worked. Happy?”

“Oh honey...that word doesn’t even come close to describing it…” Hisoka pressed his groin flush against her backside. “That was magnificent.”

“Why is it everytime we run into each other you do some weird fucked up shit?”

Hisoka pursed his lips at her bland tone; where was the fire, the brutal strikes that left his knees practically knocking together, the gaze fogged over with rage?

Mindy closed her eyes and sighed. “I guess I shouldn’t expect anything less.”

“Machi told me you were here. It’s been so long since I’ve had a good brawl, I was desperate.” Hisoka simpered as he cupped her hand in his; the knuckles were covered with dry blood and his mouth watered for a taste. “Forgive me?”

“Sure, why not?” Mindy took her hand away and turned on her side so she wouldn’t have to see him. “I should have known; I knew she was meeting you, if anything she should have been the one to call.” I said. “You know, she was way less crazy than I thought she’d be; I figured anyone who knew you must be just as fucked up.”

“She’s cute isn’t she? And her nen threads are hypnotizingly beautiful.” Hisoka added.

“She is; didn’t see her nen though.”

Hisoka frowned. “Are you going to give me the cold shoulder all night?”

“I’m not ignoring you.”

“You’ll barely look me in the eye.”

Mindy nestled her head against the pillow. “I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t want to hurt you, even if you get some sick thrill out of it.”

“...you know, it’s hard to get a word out of her half the time though.” Hisoka’s hand was sliding up and down her arm. “So unsociable. You talk too much sometimes; it’s one of the things I enjoy about you~”

“Great.”

Mindy didn’t slap his hand away; she picked it up and let it drop on his side like a stone.

“What?”

“I really thought you were dead.”

Hisoka could feel her arms shake.

“Hisoka….why did-?” Mindy’s voice broke as Hisoka made her lay flat on her back; he stared down at her with a little coy smile and kissed her lips chastely.

“Remember our first fight? My reward...do you still think it was a taunt?” he murmured.

Mindy shrugged and wiped her face.

“I’m not one for comforting; not my forte.” Hisoka’s lips curved upward and made his eyes like slits. “It was the only way I could think to make you stop crying.”

Mindy leaned over with a slightly smile. “You didn’t think that’d backfire in anyway?”

“I just felt like it...it seemed to be a good idea at the time...” Hisoka let his sentence hang and rubbed his stomach; he sighed longingly. “Why did you have to stop?”

“I’d apologize, but I think that’d be wasted on you.”

“You could always make it up to me another way…”  
Mindy leaned up silently and smoothed her tongue over his split lip.

“I don’t feel too bad; you deserved it.” Mindy said with a cold look. “As a matter of fact, I think you deserve a hell of a lot more.”

Hisoka’s eyes widened in anticipation as Mindy climbed up on top of him, sitting on his stomach; he gasped sharply as she lifted herself up and pounced on him, putting all her weight on his ribs.

Hisoka chuckled and he thrust his hips up; she pressed hard kisses to each bruise on his face. Before he could register what was happening, his wrists had been pinned above his head. Mindy was using nen to hold them tightly in her hands.

_“This is…”_

Mindy’s teeth dug into his neck. Hard.

_“This is…”_

Hisoka’s pupils were blown wide as he felt the pressure of her pressing against him as her teeth broke his skin. His erection was back, and he pushed his hips into the air as he felt Mindy scratch her nails down his nape; any harder and she could have gouged out his throat.

“Is that what you wanted?” Mindy asked softly as she licked the blood from her lips with a hint of disdain. “Wow, you taste like shit.”

She could feel his hips desperately trying to find some way to relieve the warmth pooling in his stomach, anything to brush against, yet he didn’t try to wriggle out from under her.

“Please….have mercy won’t you my dear~?” Hisoka wheezed and moaned lasciviously as she just narrowed her eyes. “Let me...” he felt her press against his bulge for a second and his teeth clenched at the idea of being buried deep inside her. 

Mindy cocked her head at his sultry tone.

“I can make you feel good...”

She wordlessly used one of her hands to hold his down as she ripped off the front of his shirt; Hisoka threw back his head and moaned lowly as she licked and nibbled at both, certain they would both be tender and red by the end of her assault.

 _“Where is this coming from? And why has she kept me waiting for so long?”_ Hisoka’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as Mindy clawed down his stomach.

“Does it hurt? I can stop.”

“No! It’s just wonderful, you’re doing perfect!” Hisoka cooed. “But it would feel even better if…” he glanced down meaningfully at his hips. “I could use a little help.”

“Ya know….it’s been a long time.”

The smile froze on his face; Mindy was looking away, her glasses slipping a bit on the bridge of her nose. She looked almost shy.

“I haven’t touched myself there at all...it might really hurt going in…”

“Now, now, there’s nothing to be frightened over.” Hisoka said smoothly, his smile growing until it stretched the width of his face; he slowly rocked under her. “I’ll be gentle this time, cross my heart.”

Mindy bit her lip and pressed one index finger over the bruise on his shoulder, making Hisoka moan between clenched teeth. Then her hand gripped onto his wrists; it was as though she was slowly pressing a fifty pound cement block on them

“Oh my….as we speak you’re a hair away from breaking my wrists…”

“Yeah.” Mindy eyed them contemplatively.

Hisoka looked up at her under hooded eyes. “But if you do that, how will I be able to touch you properly?”

“I could just ride you,” Mindy left Hisoka laying on the bed as she stripped herself; in seconds she straddled him again and pulled down his pants just enough so his erection could poke through. “Like this.”

Hisoka watched as Mindy pressed just the tip inside her warm folds; she leaned over him and forced her tongue inside his mouth. There was a speckle of blood on her lips as she pulled back.

“It feels so hard...can I put it in all the way?” Mindy traced her finger around his bruises.

“Of course, whatever you want.” Hisoka breathed as she lowered herself down by a centimeter. _“How_ _sweet of her to ask; she’s really trying to pleasure me tonight…”_

Then it hit him; Mindy had realized how much he had meant to her. Right before his eyes, he had witnessed her epiphany and now she was doing everything she could to show him without actually saying it with words.

 _“She’s probably still embarrassed by her outburst too.”_ Hisoka decided to let her set the pace; it was after all, the least he could do after that admittedly extreme bit of trickery. Mindy knew well by now how much he awed at her power; to use it for foreplay? He thought she would never consent, but here she was, going out of her comfort zone to please him and rough him up.

And right now what would please him the most was to see the face she would make once he flipped her over and ravished her to his heart’s content.

“You really are such a good girl.” Hisoka nuzzled her cheek momentarily as she pulled back. “Go on, I’ll let you finish first~”

Mindy lowered herself down all the way; her eyes squinted ever so slightly just as the head was inside.

“Poor thing...be careful now, no need to rush.” Hisoka relaxed, boneless and hard as a rock just from being engulfed in what could only be described as quivering, wet silk. “Don’t hurt yourself. I can do that later..."

“Oh!”

Hisoka’s eyes widened dramatically as Mindy scrambled off of him; she hurriedly pulled back on her shirt and underwear as he lay there in shock.

“I’m sorry Hisoka, I just realized, we shouldn’t be doing this now!” Mindy’s voice was filled with worry and guilt. “I know you said it doesn’t hurt that much, but if we do it, it could get worse.”

“I-I don’t think that’s entirely accurate-”

“Shit, I didn’t even think of that.” Mindy ignored him and shook her head; she sat down next to him and put her arms around his shoulders. “Look, I know you like it, but I don’t want to hurt you.”

Hisoka smiled as she clung to him. “How sweet...but there’s really no need-”

“Well, if you’re in town for a bit longer, we’ll see.” Mindy kissed his lips and took a spare blanket from the closet along with one of the pillows already on the bed. “‘Night Hisoka.”

The door was shut and Hisoka was left on the bed, length still upright and flushed red with arousal.

Mindy smiled slightly as she made herself comfortable on the couch; true, her course of action was somewhat petty, but she didn’t give much of a shit for this particular scenario.

 _“I really did lose it didn’t I?”_ Mindy frowned at the memory. _“I don’t like it...I really don’t like feeling that pissed or getting that violent, even if it’s that assholes fault.”_

Mindy sighed and closed her eyes. _“Well, I’m only human after all. I guess it’s okay...”_

Hisoka went to the bathroom to clean up; he felt around for the light switch and flipped it upwards. The first thing he saw inside was a small mirror hung above the small sink.

Hisoka leaned forward and touched his tender cheek; he could see the gash on his temple and lip were crusted over with dry blood; there were several bruises on his face, shoulders, and chest. The whole one side of his torso was dark purple with splotches of red. He looked like he had been attacked by a wild animal.

 _“How could she leave me like this?”_ Hisoka sighed and looked down at his half mast length. _“It’s still wet from her too…”_

He pressed his forehead against the glass, hot breath fogging it up and covering his reflection. Hisoka laughed; that earnest smile and hug nearly had him fooled. It was possible she did sort of mean it, even at her worst she had a soft heart; still, whatever her feelings were, he was getting his comeuppance.

Hisoka licked his stained lips; she had caught him off guard with her own tricks and then left him bloody, battered, and sexually frustrated. So many unexpected turns today.

_“Definitely worth it.”_


	36. Omake: Far, Far Away

“Hey Mindy!”

I looked over my shoulder to make sure Wing and Zushi were still busy cleaning up in the kitchen; I grinned and snuck away to the window and waved down to my friend.

“Aro, keep your voice down!” I whispered roughly as he made his way up the makeshift stairs of vines; if I tried to climb down, I’d probably break them. It was pointless to try anyway; they only spiraled about halfway up the wall of the stone tower.

“Sorry, how are you?” Aro clung to the side of the wall to keep from falling and kept his voice low; Wing was already less than pleased he had stumbled upon what was supposed to be our hidden away home, but if he knew Aro was interrupting my chores…

“I’m doing well; I can’t wait for the ball, it feels like the time can’t go fast enough!” I beamed down at him with barely constrained excitement. “Are you sure it’s okay for us to go though? At least you live in the village, but I’m a complete stranger…”

“Of course. The public is welcome; technically you are still a resident…”

“I don’t know if living in the forest counts.” I laughed; the villagers were under the assumption that the forest was haunted by ghouls and spirits. In reality, it was just me and my surrogate brothers living in a well hidden tower, not even that far from the borders of the palace gardens. Wing was a sorcerer and Zushi was his apprentice; they were kind enough to take me in, but life wasn’t as happy as it could have been.

“Mindy, try to come; you can’t spend your whole life in here.” Aro frowned; he hated the fact Wing rarely even let me outside in the woods, except to occasionally gather ingredients for food and potions. But this was different; this was an event with what would be hundreds of people.

“Wing said I could go for a bit; I even convinced him to get me material to make a dress.”

“I’ll wait for you.” Aro looked down. “I’ll dance with you and be your escort.”

I smiled warmly. “Thank you. If I can’t make it, have fun though, promise?”

“I won’t have nearly as good a time unless you’re there.” Aro’s smile turned mischievous. “How about you perform?”

“Perform?”

“You like to sing, right? That one song you were just singing was nice; how about you grace the masses with a song?”  
“Mindy, get over here!”

I tensed at the strict voice coming from the other room. “Sorry Aro, I have to go!”

“Oh, okay.” Aro frowned as I ran from the window; he sighed and quickly descended down the vines. “See you there…”

“Mindy, what were you doing?” Wing stood in the middle of the sitting room with his arms crossed; Zushi stood a few paces away with a concerned expression.

“I was…”

“Talking to that boy again when you were supposed to keep an eye on my potion?”

I looked over at the cauldron; the previously clear, bubbling liquid was tar black and slopping over the rim and into the fire pit.

“I’m sorry!” I looked at him guiltily. “I forgot…”

“This is the third time this week; not only that, but you haven’t done half the other chores I gave you to do.” Wing frowned. “Mindy, this is the last straw. You’re banned from going to that party.”

“What?!” I looked from him to Zushi with disbelief; he avoided my eyes, but Wing’s stare was unflinching. “It was just an accident!”

“You have responsibilities here. I’m tired of you slacking off or getting distracted with daydreaming when you need to be focused. You’re going to clean this up, do the rest of your chores, and that’s that; Zushi.” Wing turned to his apprentice. “I need you to look after things while I’m gone; I used up the last of my ingredients on this batch.” he nodded toward the ruined potion. “And now I need to get more.”

“Yes Master Wing.” Zushi spared me an apologetic glance; not that he needed to. It was partially my fault, but at the same time, if Wing wasn’t so over protective, I wouldn’t spend so much time daydreaming and fantasizing about life outside.

“Mindy, I’ll be back in a few days. Until then, listen to Zushi and be careful.”

“Alright.” I lowered my eyes as he handed Zushi the keys to the entrance; the only way outside was either down the window from a twenty foot drop or down the winding stairs and out the bolted door.

As soon as Wing was off, Zushi went over to where I sat slumped in the sitting room.

“Mindy, are you okay?”

“No.” I answered honestly. “I can’t believe this...Wing knows I’ve been looking forward to the ball.”

“He’s just trying to look out for you; he’s worried you’re becoming too distracted…”

“Distracted? All I want to do is go out for once!”

“Don’t you like it here?”

My heart tugged at Zushi’s expression. “I do, it’s not that. I love it here. I love you guys, but….come on, don’t you ever want to get out of here? Don’t you want to go to the party?”

Zushi shrugged. “Not really.”

I smiled wryly. “Well, I really wanted to go to this...if I was able to leave and visit Aro and have a time to go outside, I wouldn’t always be thinking of it.”

“It’s just this one party though.” Zushi cringed inwardly as soon as he said it; I had already told him that this was the first time in years the royal family was allowing the general population into their home for a celebration.

I felt a small lump swell in my throat. “Maybe it sounds dumb and I know this isn’t the end of the world, but I really, really wanted to go; I spent forever making this nice dress. I even spent an hour styling my hair different ways to see what would look best...I was going to eat fancy food and dance with Aro and maybe meet some friends. It was going to be a special night and now I can’t go…”

I sighed and clasped my hands together; I knew Zushi had the right idea, that at his young age he was taking it all in stride and being mature, but I still felt crushing disappointment. True, it was only this one time and it’s not as if I wasn’t being careless earlier, (even if it was by accident) but why did it have to be now?

_“Why couldn’t Wing just be lenient this once? I know he’s worried about people knowing where we live, but look at Aro; he knows they’re sorcerers, and he loves to go exploring around here and visits me whenever he can. And it’s not as though I’m going to blab about it to anyone; I just wanted to have some fun for once…”_

“Mindy...if I help you, you have to promise not to let Master Wing find out.”

I looked up. “What?”

Zushi held up the keys with a little smile. “I’ll unlock the door for you and you can go to the ball; but you have to be back by midnight at least. We worry about you, and you’ve never been outside around so many people before.”

“Why don’t you come with me?” I asked. “Everyone’s welcome.”

“No thanks; I’d really rather just stay here and relax.” Zushi shrugged. “You go have fun; just be careful.”

It wasn’t a very far walk from the tower to the palace gardens; I was careful to hold up the hem of my dress slightly, feeling a bit more excitedly nervous the closer I came to the gates.

“Wow…” I stared in sheer awe; there really were hundreds of people in attendance; there were people young and old, men and women, all dressed in their finest clothes and filing into the place tittering with excitement.

When I was able to get inside, the majority of the guests were milling around the ballroom; I looked around to catch sight of my friend, but I couldn’t imagine how I was supposed to spot him in the vast sea of dancers and wall flowers. After some time, I settled for going to the refreshments table and piled my plate with snacks off all kinds before deciding on a favorite to indulge in.

“This is delicious.” I smiled as I ate a pastry full of fluffy cream; I leaned back against the wall and swayed slightly to the swelling music. The orchestra held dozens of band members, all playing instruments I doubted I would be able to identify. _“I wonder where Aro is…”_

“Miss, are you enjoying yourself?”

I swallowed my mouthful of food and nodded quickly. “Yes; how about you?”  
“Personally, I find these sort of things tedious. Aren’t you bored standing here?” he asked; his manner was perfectly polite, yet something about his smile made me oddly wary. Perhaps Wing was rubbing off on me too much; I resolved to remain friendly.

“No, the foods really good!”

He chucjled with genuine amusement. “Are you planning to just eat? What about dancing?”

“Oh I’d love to!” I said sheepishly. “But I don’t have an escort.”

“Oh? Would I do?”

I blinked. “Are you sure? You really don’t have to.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Isn’t it boring for you?”

“Not if you can keep up.” he bowed at the waist and brushed his lips against my knuckles. As he rose, he reached into one of his jacket sleeves and pulled out a red rose. “For you.”

“Thanks.” I tucked it behind my ear carefully. “Um, I’m sorry, who are...?”

“Hisoka, at your service.”

“How did you do that?” I asked curiously as he led me out onto the dance floor; the other dancers seemed to part to make way for us, which I found very polite, until I realized quite a few were blatantly staring.

“Something the matter?”

“No; I’m just not used to being around so many people.” I admitted. “Hisoka, do you live in the village?”

“Yes.” Hisoka raised an eyebrow. “Do you? I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you before.”

I laughed as he spun me around. “There must be hundreds of people who live there.”

“I wouldn’t forget your face.”

I laughed harder in spite of myself. “To be honest, I don’t live there...I live in the forest.”

“Oh? I’m surprised, I didn’t know it was inhabited.” Hisoka lifted my hand and placed it on his shoulder. “Everyone says there’s supposed to be all sorts of scary things there, not cute little maidens~” Hisoka frowned in confusion. “Ah, but you don’t look scared.”

I was taken aback at his words; I never met someone who spoke so….slippery? Smoothly? There was a somewhat unpleasant word to describe it, but I couldn’t think of it for the life of me.

“It’s not really like what people say; it’s so nice, especially in the afternoons. You know how the sun gets orange and makes everything glow gold? Imagine it happening to the trees and flowers and grass; you can see the horizon for miles too if the trees are spaced out enough.” I told him; keeping up with him was much easier than I thought. In fact, I was having a lot of fun despite his strange aura.

Hisoka dipped me with ease; his eyes were boring into my own, as though he was reading me. “That sounds lovely the way you put it; you’ll have to show me sometime.”

“Be careful!” I yelped as he yanked me back up. “You might’ve dropped me!”

“Me? Never~”

Hisoka spun me around and around; we must have danced for hours until I was able to get a break; winded and sweaty, I got a drink from the table and helped myself to some more of the pastries.

“You’re quite partial to those.” Hisoka commented as he joined me; he looked perfectly fine and energized.

“I’m surprised you have so much energy.” I smiled and offered him one. “For someone who says these parties are boring, you actually seem to be having fun. That’s good, I was worried: by the way, what are these?”

“Cream puffs.” Hisoka took the snack but didn’t eat.

“They’re amazing! They’re so light, it’s like I’m eating nothing at all.”

“Why were you worried?”

I turned to face him. “I really appreciate you keeping me company...it’s not as fair if you’re bored stiff; besides, just look at this place.”

Hisoka did with a dull gaze. “What about it?”

“It’s just wonderful here...I don’t get out much, but even I can tell. These snacks are so good, and the music is beautiful and everyone’s been so welcoming and having so much fun.” I sighed happily and stuffed another of the light pastries into my mouth, licking the cream from my lips. “I’ve never seen anything like it and I’ve had the best time; I think I could stay here forever…”

Hisoka put back the cream puff absently. “If that’s how you feel-”

But I didn’t actually hear him; my mind was suddenly buzzing.

“Oh no...oh no, I have to leave right now!” I gathered my skirts; I had already been there for a few hours, it was getting close to midnight. There was no way I’d break my promise to Zushi; he might even try to look for me out of fear I had gotten lost or kidnapped.

“It’s still early!” Hisoka was running after me. “Won’t you stay a bit longer?”

“I’m sorry!” I called back to him through the throngs of people; I ran in and out between small groups and couples, steadily making my way to the garden.

“I don’t even know your name!”

Hisoka was still chasing after me.

“I’m sorry...thank you for everything.” I smiled sadly; it was true, part of me was a bit wary, even suspicious of this strange man, but even so...

I waved and bolted ahead of him; he would only be a memory soon.

_“I had a lot of fun.”_

**Third Person POV:**

That night, Hisoka stepped out at the edge of the forest, but saw no one; the only trace of the woman was the rose that had fallen from her hair. The next morning he took a horse and raced it in and out of the trees, searching for a house, any sign of human life.

Instead, he found his little brother, galloping out of the thicket and startling both of their horses.

“Aro, what brings you here?”

Aro frowned. “I was on my way to meet my friend; what are you doing here?”

“Is that any way to speak to your elders? Besides, shouldn’t you be at your lessons?” Hisoka asked slyly. “The future king should be more diligent in his studies~”

“You’re the eldest!” Aro exclaimed in disbelief. “If anything you’re the one who should be back home and studying instead of taking a morning stroll.”

“I’m on a horse.”

“What are you even doing here?” Aro huffed; the last thing he wanted was for Hisoka to chance upon the tower and bother him and his friend.

“I was looking for the woman I met the other night.” Hisoka slid off his saddle and tied the horse over to a low branch; he had been out for hours already and at this rate his steed would have no energy left to move. Aro followed his lead reluctantly.

“Oh, the woman you scared off?”

“I did no such thing.” Hisoka rubbed his chin. “She did run off so fast though...was it something I said?”

“Probably.”

“You’re so inconsiderate; but I suppose it’s to be expected. What do you know about love and the pain that goes with it?”

Aro rolled his eyes. “Love? That woman doesn’t want anything to do with you; the one I love isn’t able to be with me due to her caretaker’s overprotective nature. Can you understand how it feels to know she would leave with me if she could?”

“You jest.” Hisoka chuckled with hearty mirth. “It’s so troubling to want what is out of your reach...honestly, why would she run from me? Why wouldn’t she wish to stay with me, a man who would surely meet anyone’s highest standards? Am I not clever, well-mannered, considerate, passionate, as kind as I’m handsome, and a prince to boot?”

“Let us not forget delusional and as sly as an old fox.”

“Why thank you brother.”

Aro shook his head in exasperation; he’d never know for sure whether he was being taken seriously or not. “Yes, you’re everything a maiden could wish for….”

“And yet she abandoned me with only her sweet voice to echo in my ears.” Hisoka sighed theatrically and gripped his shirt, above where his heart would be. “Honestly, she must be mad to torture me so...”

“Mad? What do you know of madness or sweet voices? You probably just dreamed this mystery woman up.” Aro scoffed. “My lady has the most enthusiastic and kind temperament and her voice is as melodic as a songbird’s. If you were to hear but one note of her singing, you’d have thought you went mad and was listening to the angel’s choir themselves.”

“My little maiden is ten times as sweet; a person could eat all the cream puffs in the world and still not be filled with as much sweetness as she~”

“What?”

“She loves cream puffs...her cheeks were bulging like a chipmunks; at one point and she looked over at me and smiled with cream all over her lips; it was just so adorable, I wanted to squeeze the life out of her…”

Aro cringed and pointedly took a step to the side. “And you wonder why she fled?”

“Hm...I think my charms overwhelmed her.” Hisoka concluded absently. “But she said she wanted to stay longer. This is so tiresome, I’ve exhausted myself thinking over it all night.”

Aro climbed back over his horse with a swift movement and ran a hand through his hair. “You’re tiresome. I don’t want you butting in today, I’m here on a mission.”

“Let me guess,” Hisoka smiled mockingly. “You want to rescue your fair lady from her evil stepmother?”

“She never showed up to the ball...I think her caretaker is holding her captive.” Aro grabbed the rope hanging from his horse’s neck. “I’m going to give her this rope so she can climb down and escape; she wants to be free and live her life outside like everyone else.”

Hisoka gracefully leapt upon his own steed. “Then what will you do? If this man is her legal guardian, couldn’t he persecute you for kidnapping his charge?”

“That’s of no consequence; he’s a sorcerer, suspicious of the people in our court. And even if he was bold enough to venture out and try to claim her, it would be of no use when she’s my wife.” Aro snapped the reins and his horse took off; Hisoka followed with a tingling curiosity; he had never seen his brother so adamant about anything.

“Mindy wants to live her life outside those walls with me. When I take her away, we’ll be married.” Aro smiled bitterly. “Don’t you see how much agony it gives me, to know how badly she wants to come with me, but she can’t? I’ll do everything in my power to save her.”

“You have a point; I still says it’s more painful to be in my shoes.”

Aro looked back at his brother’s solemn expression, yet even in his melancholy state, Hisoka still managed to look rapturous as he replayed the memory of last night’s encounter. Despite his irritation at his unexpected interruption, Aro felt a stab of pity.

“She stole my breath away in a matter of hours and now she’s simply vanished; I will find her and whether she wishes it or not, I intend to keep here.” Hisoka’s hands shook and convulsed on the leather straps; his horse let out a skittish neigh but pressed on.

“And if she’s unhappy?”

“Little brother...you surely are more of a prince than I could ever be~”

Aro glanced behind him with a puzzled stare at the laughing man; his sympathy was fast dissolving.

“Now, now, don’t give me that look, I won’t harm her! I’ll keep her in a special room that always plays music and have the chef bring her any food she wants; when I have the time, I’ll take her outside and let her play in our gardens. But I suppose in that case we’ll need to put up a fence or a wall.”

Hisoka giggled at Aro’s horrified expression; he was barely paying attention to where the horse was leading him.

“Hisoka-”

“Aro. Don’t you dare get in my way.”

“Dude, take it down a notch.” Aro whispered harshly. “This is a fairy tale!”

“Have you not heard of the original Grimm Brother’s versions? Now those are delightful stories.”

“Yeah, okay, just bring it back a bit. This isn’t that kind of story.”

“Fine; anyway, if you don’t hinder me, I’ll help you save your princess~” Hisoka switched gears on a dime Aro was accustomed to the mood swings; it had stopped surprising him years ago.

 _“Even so…”_ Aro grimaced as they sped forward; the tower was coming closer and closer in sight and he truly did wish Hisoka would just disappear. _“He’s really the worst.”_

They tied their horses up among the barrier of trees around the tower; Aro kept one eye on his brother and they carefully made their way to their destination. If he pulled any tricks he’d have to act fast.

“Mindy?” Aro was all the way up on the strongest vines, holding the ropes secretly around his shoulder. Hisoka waited at the foot of the tower as he scanned the area idly as the lookout.

“Mindy?” Aro called once more; he was sure he could hear her humming. “I’m here!”

**First Person POV:**

I stopped sweeping and listened carefully.

“Mindy?”

I wasn’t entirely sure, but it sounded like Aro; but why was he whispering? I set my broom down next to the fireplace and the small pile of coal ashes.

“Aro?” I peered over the edge of the window and smiled. “Hi! I looked for you at the party last night; were you there? I have so much to tell you!”

“Mindy, where’s Wing?”

I stopped. “He’s on a trip. Why?”

“Here,” Aro tossed up a coil of rope; I managed to catch it with flailing hands and he smiled. “Mindy, come with me.”

“But I-”

“Please, just come now while you have the chance!” Aro’s eyes were filled with urgency. “Please, hurry.”

I frowned in worry; I couldn’t imagine why he was so scared. I looked for something to tie the rope to and settled on the leg of Wing’s heavy oak chair.

“Be careful, I’ll catch-”

“WHOA!” I jumped and swung past Aro from the heavy gust of wind; I screamed and ran across the wall, one of my hands finding purchase on a small gap in the stones. “H-hold on, I have to get something!”

Aro stared with wide eyes as I let go of the stone and the rope.

“MINDY!”

I grabbed the pouch from my apron pocket and poured out the ashes of the ruined potion; with a gulp I swallowed them and closed my eyes and braced myself for the impact.

“Oh my~”

I pried one eye open; I was hovering in the air. Letting out a huge sigh of relief, I waved to Aro who was quickly descending to the ground.

“Are you okay?” he pulled me down by one of my legs like I was a balloon about to float away. I nodded with a grin.

“Yes. Sorry, I should’ve been more careful.” I coughed and some of the ashes came out; the magic wore off and I found myself planted firmly on the ground. “Thanks Aro.”

“Why, don’t forget me little one.”

“Hisoka? What are you doing here? And Aro,” I turned to him. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“How do you know my brother?”

“Aro, I’m afraid there’s been a change of plans.” Hisoka strolled over to me and held out the slightly bruised rose. “You dropped this my dear; next time, be more careful won’t you?”

“What? You must be joking!” Aro stepped up to Hisoka with a challenging glare. “I don’t care what’s going on, Mindy isn’t going with you!”

I was yanked to Hisoka’s side.

“Mindy….that name suits you.” he gently tucked the rose into my hair. “Don’t listen to this silly boy; why don’t you come home with me to the castle? I’ve got a batch of those cream puffs you loved so much just waiting to be devoured…”

“You do?”

“Mindy!”

I shook my head. “Wait, hold on: castle? You live in the castle?”

“I’m the eldest son to the His and her Highness; it’s been so long since I’ve actually wanted to reside there...everyday is so tedious and dreary. Won’t you come back with me?” Hisoka tittered. “Your room is already all set up~”

“...we just met.”

“Exactly!” Aro smirked triumphantly as he pulled me away from Hisoka’s unsuspecting hands. “Mindy and I have a connection. I know her, and I’m the one who will set her free!”

“You? You who can’t do a thing for himself, who runs off into the woods to escape his problems instead of facing them? I take what I want without apology; a child like you would never be able to-”

**“SHUT UP!”**

I pushed Aro away and stepped back. “What the hell is wrong with you two? You-” I turned to Aro. “You talked to me a few times; you don’t know me. I love Wing and Zushi, and I’m not being held prisoner by them!”

I rounded on Hisoka, who was oddly smiling. “And you! We talked once! How can you say those things, you know me even less!”

Hisoka and Aro stood side by side now and shared a nervous glance.

“And if you guys care so much, and you’re sooo sure you can make me happy, why haven’t you stopped once to ask me what I want?!”

Aro’s face was hot with shame. “I...I’m sorry. I thought I was helping…”

“I didn’t care much; still, if it makes you this upset…” Hisoka shrugged. “Well, what is it you want little one?”

“I don’t want to run away, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life there.” I said firmly. “I’ve picked up a things from them though. I can cast multiplication and engorgement charms; I want to build a small house for my own.”

“In the village?”

“No; not far from here there’s a space where I could have my house and my garden. I would grow produce and use magic to enhance them. I’d come down to the village and sell them to make ends meet.” I smiled at the thought. “I could come and go as I please. That’s what I want.”

“And your caretaker approves?” Hisoka asked.

“I haven’t been able to tell him yet, but whether he likes it or not, that’s what I’m doing.” I told them. “Look, I appreciate what you guys are trying to do. Well, mostly what Aro’s trying to do.”

“Rude…”

“But I like both of you, a lot. I don’t feel the same way though, and I’m sorry, because you guys have been so kind.” I smiled sadly.

“If that’s what you wish….then I’ll help you.” Aro came forward. “I care about you Mindy, no matter what you decide. I’ll get your home built and your garden planted.” he smiled and ruffled my hair. “Just promise you’ll share that dance with me at some point?”

“I will.” I nodded in earnest and gave him a brief hug. “Thank you for understanding.”

“As much as I hate to bested by my little brother-”

I gasped; Aro fell to his knees, with a pained cry. He brought his hands to his throat as he struggled to breath. A small needle lodged into the surface of his skin.

“You…” Aro looked up at Hisoka in anger, but his older brother merely smiled and made his way toward me.

“Sorry, but I’ve made my decision. As I said dear brother: I take what I want.”

I tried to rush over to Aro, but Hisoka’s hand grabbed my arms, yanking them back painfully enough to nearly pop them from their sockets.

“What did you do to him?!”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic. It’s just a tranquilizer, nothing to get upset over. He should wake up sometime later, but by then it will be too late.”

I glared over my shoulder at him as he used the broken rope to tie up my hands.

“What the hell does that mean?”

Hisoka’s hands lingered on my wrists; the gentle touch was a far cry from the rough way he had practically cut off circulation from my hands.

“Aro had a good idea, you know.” Hisoka started with an almost proud glance over to his unconscious brother. “He told me about you, not realizing we were speaking of the same person; he mentioned that if he were to marry you, your caretaker would have no choice but to let you go.”

His arms wrapped an arm around my waist; one of his hands came to hold my jaw in his fingers. I kept my eyes straight ahead, desperately trying to think of a way to get out of his grasp without getting myself hurt. Zushi had ventured off to get us food and water from a spring at least a couple of miles away. Wing wouldn’t be back until the day after tomorrow. I was on my own.

I had thought the nervousness that gripped my heart around Hisoka was unwarranted; why didn’t I listen to my gut feeling?

“Hisoka, you don’t have to do this…” I tried to reason with him. “I don’t want to-”

“I know. You’ll be fine with it soon enough; it’s not as though I plan to chain you up in a dungeon.” Hisoka chuckled as he hoisted me up onto the front of the saddle sideways. “I’m going to take very good care of you; once we’re legally wed, no one will say otherwise. I’ve really been so bored. We have that in common. Something’s been missing, hasn’t it?”

I stared at him; he just chuckled and snapped the reins of his horse and we started toward the castle at a slow gallop. I lurched forward, but his other arm was securely on my waist.

“Don’t worry. I won’t let you go.”


	37. A Special Day

I woke up and Hisoka was gone.

“Figures.” I smiled to myself sleepily as I walked away from my room; he actually made the bed at least. “Guess I pissed him off. Oh well.”

I winced as I stretched out my arms; my back was somewhat sore from the cramped position on the couch. _“Shit, I shoulda made him sleep there…”_

I thought about his injuries and sighed.

“Okay, what do we got for breakfast…?” I walked over to the kitchen and started taking out ingredients for pancakes; days off meant I could take my time in the morning, which also meant I didn’t have to rush to grab something to eat.

“Maybe I should’ve taken a shower first…” I finished cracking the eggs and after throwing the shells out, I caught a glimpse of myself in the window. My hair was sort of just pushed up and kinked at weird angles all around. I frowned and tried to flatten a piece of my bangs, but then I laughed.

“Fuck that, I don’t need to go anywhere today.” I went back to the stove and preheated the frying pan; the light coating of oil was already starting to crackle, so I hurried up stirring the batter so I could pour it on. “I have syrup right? Yeah, I do. Shit, I should’ve bought some chocolate chips…”

“Isn’t that a bit too sugary for breakfast?”

Normally Hisoka’s sudden appearance wouldn’t have surprised me, at least not now, but this time I dropped the spatula and fumbled to catch it as he stood smiling from the doorway.

“I thought you left.” I said briskly; I felt acutely embarrassed all of a sudden at my bed head but he didn’t seem to notice. Then I was struck with an odd feeling. _“Wait, why am I embarrassed? He’s seen me like this before.”_

“Why do you talk to yourself?” Hisoka was preoccupied with setting a few plastic bags down on the dining room table; a few were obviously grocery bags but a couple others were unidentifiable.

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Why are you here?”

“Why are you so tactless?” The exasperation was mixed with a hint of amusement. “And you haven’t even complimented me on my look.”

“Huh?” I gave him a once over; the first thing I noticed was that his split lip and bruises had healed. The second was that his hair and face were washed, not to mention the clothes he wore now were the kind you’d see on any young man his age. _“Actually, how old is he…?”_

“Well?”

“You look better than me.” I shrugged once more and scratched my own hair before turning back to the stove. “I’m making pancakes.”

Hisoka blinked slowly. “...you have no feminine charm whatsoever.”

“Yeah, you would know.” I snorted. “Psh, you and your fuckin’ high heels...how do you even walk in those?”

“I have perfect balance.”

“Well, I’ll give you credit, I’d break my ankle.” I flipped the pancakes and checked their middles. “Did you buy groceries?”

“Oh, just a few things.” Hisoka brushed against me accidentally as he went to put away a package of chocolate chips; I glanced at them questioningly before looking back to my food.

“Thanks. How long are you planning on staying?”

“You know, typically people say things like, ‘I’m glad to see you” or ‘stay as long as you need’.”

“Yeah, I don’t believe that whole ‘my house is your house thing’. I’m more of the ‘I’m letting you stay in my house for free, so you’d better not mess it up’, type.”

“You don’t say?” Hisoka chuckled; his voice had gone down at least a couple octaves as he loosely wound his arms around my torso. I didn't respond to him and got a couple plates from the cupboard, the syrup, the butter, and forks and knives from the silverware drawer.

All the while, Hisoka kept holding tight, sort of shuffling along with me.

“Are you ignoring me?”

“I’m trying to get breakfast ready.” I told him as I set the plates out; the other mystery bags were still sitting on the table. “What are those?”

Hisoka held them up in front of my face with one hand. “A gift.”

“Shit....”

“You're welcome.” Hisoka purred and nipped at my neck. “I thought I should get you a little something to apologize for the other day.”

"You? Aplogize?" I took them and peeked inside; the bags looked flashy and inside were boxes. “Clothes?”

“Take a look~” Hisoka side stepped me and began filling up our plates. “Make sure to take a shower after breakfast, we have a big day ahead of us.”

I looked at him befuddled. “Why?”

“Of course, those clothes in particular are for later tonight at dinner.” Hisoka continued as he sat down and helped himself to the syrup. He made smiley faces on both of our pancakes. “You can wear something more casual for now.”

“Hold on, what-?”

“First, open the boxes!” Hisoka said cheerfully. “These aren’t bad. My waffles are better.”

I rolled my eyes and opened them. “Well, thanks-what the hell?”

I pulled out the dress from the biggest box with wide eyes. The color was a deep red; I held it up to my body. The fluttering skirt couldn’t have reached farther than above my knees; the sweetheart neckline was emphasized by the small straps.

“Don’t forget this.” Hisoka held out the smaller box; I took it and pulled off the lid. Inside were black pumps with thankfully sensible heels.

“Okay...they’re nice and all, but...Hisoka, I don’t even know where I’d wear these.” I studied them curiously. “How do you know these are gonna fit?”

“I know.” Hisoka replied.

“But how? I don’t even wear pumps…” I got a sinking feeling in my chest as Hisoka smiled.

“And that’s exactly why I had to get you some. There’s a dress code at the place we’re going for dinner.” Hisoka twirled his fork in the air playfully. “By the way, why do only have three shirts and two pairs of pants?”

“I don’t need that many-”

“And don’t even get me started on your underwear choices. Thankfully, I took the liberty of getting you your next gift.”

I balked. “What?!”

“Don’t give me that look, they’re very tasteful.”

“You wear clown makeup.”

“Your point?”

“Hisoka, what’s with all this stuff anyway? I mean, it looks nice and all, but what is it for?” I asked putting away the dress and shoes in their respective boxes; I wasn’t even going to chance looking at the smallest bag. “Is it a holiday or something?”

“It is a special day.” Hisoka winked.

“Okay, why?”

“We’re going on a date.”

 

**One Hour Later:**

“Hisoka, I can pay-”

“No, no,” Hisoka held out his wallet and paid for our tickets. “This is a date remember? Tradition dictates I take care of everything.”

“Aw, that’s just dumb.” I rolled my eyes. “Who can even afford to not split the bill nowadays?”

“I can.” Hisoka grinned; it made me suspect that this had less to do with proper tradition and more with showing off. We made our way past the ticket vendor and into the carnival.

“I want to make a joke, but it’d be too obvious.” I scanned the park with excitement bubbling in my chest. The truth was, I had never actually been to a carnival before, though I heard it was a popular dating destination. 

_“A date. I think Hisoka means it in a more casual sense though; hell, half of everything he says sounds like a joke..”_

Hisoka had explained he wanted to make up for his prank by taking me out for the day and having a good time. I looked over to where Hisoka had run off; he was paying for cotton candy at a somewhat rundown looking stand, the bright paint job peeling off molded wood. _“Oh boy...I hope this isn’t one of those evil haunted carnivals…”_

“Here you are.”

“Uh, thanks. What’s this stuff made out of?” I blinked and took the cotton candy from his hand; I took a small bite. The sweet fluff melted instantly; for a moment it burned.

“Clouds and dreams~”

I stared up at him but made no comment.

“How about we go up on a roller coaster?”

“No.”

“Oooh, is somebody scared?”

“Hell yes I’m scared; you’re not getting me on that rickety ass junk. Shit, I don’t like heights anyway.”

For some reason, this made Hisoka hysterical; I blinked as he held a hand over his mouth and his shoulders shook.

“What? I’m not afraid to admit I’m scared.” I mumbled and finished my food as he continued to chuckle. We walked around for a bit and wandered into the rows of games; barkers were calling out to us, whistling for Hisoka to try his luck on my behalf.

“Hey young fella, how about a prize for your girlfriend?!”

I glanced over at him; to my surprise, Hisoka was making a beeline for the booth. The game was simple enough; knock down a three houses of cards with three thin darts and you got a small prize; the biggest prizes were won by knocking down thirteen houses in a row.

Of course, it only seemed simple; the darts themselves were nearly as weightless as the cards. You’d have to be lucky and throw just right for them to not fall halfway before reaching the little houses or miss altogether.

“Hisoka, don’t waste your money!” I whispered urgently as he was about to hand over some bills. “Those toys were probably made for a few cents!”

Hisoka did so anyway; I was at a loss for words as he placed one hand on my head.

“Just tell me which one you want.”

“Hisoka-”

“I already paid to win the biggest ones. Choose.”

I relented at his tone. “Surprise me.”

“I intend to.” Hisoka took the darts; one after the other ‘somehow’ managed to hit the sides of the deck houses, effectively sending the cards spilling to the ground.

“Oh god you cheater.” I laughed and held up a fox nearly half my size; his expression was eerily familiar.

“Do you like him?”

Despite my misgivings, I smiled broadly and hugged it tight. “I love him!”

Hisoka smiled back in fond amusement.

“Hey, why do kids always say they want to run away to carnivals?” I asked as we relaxed on a bench with two ice creams. _“We should really eat some real food soon…”_

“Who wouldn’t? It’s a fun place.” Hisoka said with all the whimsical air of a showman.

“Yeah, but kids are scared of clowns too, so what’s up with that? Also you have to shovel animal shit and deal with bitchy customers and try to get good at scamming people.”

Hisoka raised an eyebrow as I pretended to feed my fox the ice cream. “Well, a child wouldn’t be thinking in those terms. Didn't you when you were younger?”

“No.” I said. “I mean, when you think about how many things needs to be taken care of and all, doesn’t it seem obvious.”

“To an adult perhaps.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, I wasn’t much fun as a kid either.”

“This is fun. I never know what’s going to come out of your mouth half the time.” Hisoka remarked.

We left a bit early so I could get ready for the restaurant; the carnival actually was a lot more enjoyable than I assumed it’d be. Hisoka was being good too; he made light conversation, I found myself laughing at his quips, and we even chanced going into the Tunnel of Love together; instead of attempting to try anything that would get us kicked out, Hisoka just talked and took a picture of me holding the fox.

 _“How can he be so nice and friendly and then almost stab a guy for bumping into us?”_ I wondered tiredly; on our way out a man nearly made me drop Karakau (I named the fox for his sly look) and Hisoka’s first impulse was to pin him to a wall with his own special cards and threaten to try out his new knife throwing trick if he didn’t apologize.

But here was something about today that was bothering me, even more so than our near murder incident; that was to be expected at this point. I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror with a rueful smile.

_“This won’t last. Come on you know that...”_

Hisoka let himself in; I had just gotten done changing and brushing my hair.

_“You want things to be different but they won't be, because he’s unpredictable and fickle as hell...this **can’t** last.”_

_“_ You look-”

 _“_ I’m not sure if I can walk in the shoes.” I said. “You wouldn’t push me over just because, right?”

“Certainly not. Go on, let’s try these on.” Hisoka made me sit on the bed. “Are you wearing the underwear?”

“Well yeah, you threw out my others.” I grumbled as he slipped on one shoe. “Those were comfy. You’re getting me new ones.”

“All in good time. There.” Hisoka picked me up and set me on my feet. “Not so bad is it?”

“The heels are okay.” I admitted as I stared past him and into the mirror. The clothes were nice to be sure; even so, I felt more like a little girl playing dress up, sneaking her mother’s clothes from the closet. I raised a finger to my lips; I had bought red lipstick to go with the dress.

_“This feels wrong."_

I smiled. “You look nice.”

Hisoka stood next to me in the mirror and adjusted his already perfect tie; my face fell slightly.

“What’s the matter my dear?” Hisoka asked as he fixed his bangs; they fell just so, his style somehow looking both refined and relaxed. I looked between us; people would probably wonder why I was there with him.

_“He's crazy for sure but, he looks great...and I look like me; just another reminder of how unrealistic this whole thing is...”_

I shook my head and smiled. “I’m just hungry; I should’ve eaten more than just snacks earlier.”

“Well, you’re going to be eating dinner now; it’s good you’re hungry.”

I blushed lightly at Hisoka’s laughter and pushed past him. “Yeah, yeah; anyway I’m set to go.”

“Hold on.”

I stopped; there wasn’t a trace of mirth on Hisoka’s expression. He was looking me up and down almost calculatingly.

“What?”

Hisoka didn’t answer, instead opting to walk around me, seemingly to take in the dress from every angle. I waited for the perverse comment or smirk, but it was nearly a full minute before he stood in front of me. His stare was incensed, which further added to my slight anxiety; I truly did hate how he could sometimes switch moods and worst yet, he would neglect to say why. I supposed he liked keeping me guessing, but I still wanted an explanation for the deep frown marring his face that was only getting more pronounced the longer he stared.

“Hisoka?”

“Do you have a wrap?”

“A what?”

“A wrap.”

“Yeah, I have some in the kitchen...are we taking food from the restaurant?”

Hisoka didn’t smile. “I don’t mean plastic wrap; I mean a shawl or perhaps a cardigan?”

“Oh no. But that’s okay, it’s summer right? Will it be cold inside?”

I peered closely at him; Hisoka sighed somberly.

“I could give you my jacket, but it would ruin the look.” Hisoka smiled lightly and drew close; he bent down to whisper. “Promise you’ll stick close by, won't you?”

I blinked and shuddered as he raked his teeth lightly against my neck.

“I should leave a mark.” Hisoka licked his lips. “I want to show you off, but if you’re wearing this...well, let’s just say things might get interesting if you look too long at anyone else tonight.”

Hisoka pulled back. “Oh, that’s a good look for you.”

My cheeks were burning and I bit my lip before remembering I had lipstick on; Hisoka had already called a cab to take us to our destination, which gave me plenty of time to calm down and guesstimate how long that feeling would last.

“We’re here.” Hisoka helped me out of the door; I tried to smile at him as we made our way inside. The restaurant was nice.

_“Too nice…I’m a little afraid of breaking something by accident...”_

The inside could only be summed up as lavish. Plush seats and tables of polished oak, windows overlooking the city skyline, intimate candlelight at every table, and from what I could see as we walked past other patrons to our table, food I couldn’t describe that looked an odd mix of different garnishes and meats and noodles.

Our waiter passed us menus and I looked apprehensively at the choices; I sincerely hoped this place would have food I liked.

“Good evening, my name is Ron and I’ll be your server. Would you like to start with water?”

“Yes, and we’ll take the bottle of 1999 red Bordeaux.” Hisoka said; he glanced over at my dumbfounded face as I inwardly begged for help on what to choose to eat.

“May I see your ID?” Ron asked me specifically; I handed it to him and he gave it a skeptical frown before handing it back.

“I’ll be back shortly.”

“Okay...Hisoka, what the fuck is this? I can’t even read it!” I said showing him the menu.

“It’s in French.”

“Seriously?”

“Don’t fret, just tell me what you’d like. Most places have staples after all.” Hisoka gently took the menu away with a grin.

“You’re so cute when you’re flustered.”

“...do they have steak?” I inquired hopefully as Hisoka looked over the menu.

“Yes; any kind in particular?”

“What’s the cheapest?”

Hisoka sent me a look. “Mindy, relax and just order what you want.”

“Okay, okay. I don’t know…” I thought hard and wracked my brain, but before I could say another thing the waiter came back and began to fill our glasses. “Oh, excuse me?”

“Yes?”

My tone turned a bit strained at his snotty voice. “That’s cabernet sauvignon,” I peered over at the label. “From 2005.”

“Yes.”

“We didn’t order that. We ordered a 1999 red Bordeaux, which is a mixture of merlot and cabernet sauvignon.”

“My mistake. I’ll be right back.” Ron collected our wine glasses and took off swiftly.

“Dick.” I muttered. “Okay, so what kind of steak do you think I’d like?”

Hisoka was smirking. “Of course you’d know the difference.”

“I’m not a drunk…” I said. “So?”

“I’d recommend the Yorknew strip.” Hisoka said easily. “It’s perfectly marbled and the most flavorful.”

I fidgeted with my skirt. “Um, are you sure you can afford it? I feel bad you’re paying for it all.”

“Mindy, this is getting tiresome. Don’t make me repeat myself again.”

“Sorry…” I looked away.

Hisoka sighed and took my hand under the table. “The rudest thing you can do is refuse a sincere apology; this is mine. Just accept it and we’ll both feel better.”

“Okay.” I nodded my head firmly. “Thank you.”

“No need to be so serious; you act as though I’m giving you one of my kidneys.”

“Ugh...I just imagined you ripping out someone else’s kidney…”

“Yes...that is so me, isn’t it?”

Ron the waiter came back to take our orders.

“I’d like the blanquette de veau, and she would like the Yorknew strip.” Hisoka said genially.

“How would she like it cooked?”

“Oh, medium rare.” I said.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” I glared at his back. “The fuck was that? 'Are you sure?' Do I look like-?”

“Mindy, just ignore him, I’ll have word with the staff about him later.” Hisoka said dismissively; when our dishes arrived, I was sure the waiter was being careful not to make eye contact with me.

“Do you like it?”

I nodded over my mouthful of juicy, tender steak. “It’s fucking amazing!” I practically squealed. “How’s your...thing?”

“It’s fine.” Hisoka had barely touched his food; in fact, he had drunken at least three times as much as me. Despite this, he was still perfectly poised and coherent. “Is everything to your liking?”

“Yes.” I really meant it; I was really enjoying this new atmosphere, even the dress didn’t feel so out of place anymore. “I feel better since you’re here. I’m a bit jealous, you seem so cool wherever you are.”

Ron the waiter came over with our receipt; it looked a bit long for everything we had ordered.

“I hope you enjoyed the meal.” he nodded to Hisoka and walked away without another word. I grabbed the receipt and looked it over before Hisoka could.

“You fuckin’-”

“What’s the matter my dear?” Hisoka looked like he was anticipating whatever happened next.

“Hey! Ronnie, get your ass over here!”

Ron’s shoulder visibly stiffened from where he was pouring waters for the next table over; he came over with a grim smile.

“The fuck is this?” I snarled and yanked him down by his tie and shoved the booklet in his face. “We didn’t drink from that shitty cabernet and we didn’t order any fucking cheesecake. I fucking hate cheesecake.”

“I-I,”

“And I swear to god, you give me one more snotty look and I’ll crack this shitty Bordeaux over your head.” I released him and slapped the receipt to his chest.  **“Fix it."**

“Yes miss; my apologies sir.” Ron bowed to Hisoka, nearly tripping over the legs of a patron’s chair on the way back; I cursed colorfully under my breath as Hisoka took me by the shoulders.

“Mindy, there was no need-”

“Yeah there was! First they fuck up the wine you order and then they’re gonna charge you for some shit you didn’t even get?! I don’t care if you can afford it, that’s some bullshit!”

Hisoka looked at me in mild bewilderment. “It’s really not a big deal.”

“Yes it is; I’ll fuck anyone up who tries to-!”

I stopped, my mouth still half open and ready to spill out more blabber; people were staring at us.

After we had paid the (correct) bill, I walked a little bit behind him, not daring to say a word all.

 _“I embarrassed him; I was acting like some two bit thug...dammit, when did my temper get like this?”_ I couldn’t even bring myself to look at him; Hisoka hadn’t said a word either after he gave a polite critique to the manager. _“He was fine; Hisoka did everything right and I ruined it; maybe it was just a ruse to make himself look good, but I still flipped out like some maniac."_

After paying the cab fare, Hisoka walked briskly ahead of me into the hotel; even the ride up the elevator was in silence. I chanced a look at his face, but I couldn’t read it. He was staring straight ahead, not even blinking.

 _“Is he angry?”_ I bit my lips hard and tried to stifle hot tears of shame as we finally made it into my room. I took off my shoes carefully and placed them by the door; whatever his intentions, he had gone to a lot of trouble, and I had basically thrown his attempt at a sincere apology back in his face. He must have thought I was some loud mouthed-

“How dare you.”

I yelped in pain as Hisoka slammed me into the wall; his eyes were sunken in and his face shadowed and lined in rage. I found myself shaking as his grip on my upper arms dug into my skin.

“Isn’t this a bit much?!” I tried to wriggle free like a fish on a hook, but his fingers only clamped down harder. “Hisoka...I’m really sorry-”

“Sorry's not going to cut it. I thought it was odd how much attention you were paying to that, that-”

“Wait, what are you talking about? I don’t think we’re on the same page here.” My fear had abated slightly to confusion.

“That look you gave him...the way you yanked him down so close...I never should have bought you something so revealing anyway.” Hisoka’s abrupt chuckles were matched by his twisted smile; hair fell into his eyes, making them look fiercer as he glared. “Did you think you could just get away with that right in front of me?”

I frowned and squinted at him. “Okay, I really don’t think we’re thinking the same thing-”

Hisoka’s hand cushioned the back of my head as he forced his mouth against mine; our teeth crashed together painfully, but this only seemed to excite him more as his weight made me sink down the wall and to the ground.

“I loved watching you so riled up.” Hisoka attacked my neck with nips and sucks; I tried to tug at his hair to get him to move, but the action just made him groan. “It’s not fair.”

“I-is that what the silent treatment was for?” I said breathily, trying to maintain my composure as his hands roamed everywhere. “I thought I embarrassed you.”

“It’s not fair.” Hisoka repeated with a growl. “I have to resort to tricks and lies to get you like that and he gets your full attention for no reason.” his nails scratched my thighs and making them bleed lightly as he tossed me to the bed. I bounced once as he crawled on top of me, ripping off his tie and pulling down the straps of my dress to get more access. "I was so excited, I couldn't eat a morsel."

I hissed as he brought up one of my legs and licked the shallow cuts; with a grunt he raised me up to his chest. I could feel the cold zipper against my back as he unzipped my dress.

“Hold on, don’t rip it!” I fretted as he tugged it over my head with little regard for the sound of stitches tearing. “Dammit, you’re the one who bought it.”

“Money is of no consequence. I saw it and I thought it would look perfect on you.” Hisoka glared at the dress crumpled on the floor. “And I was right.”

I put my hand on his chest. “Hey, um...did you have a good time?”

“Hm?” Hisoka cocked his head to the side. From where I was, I could see down his shirt; half of the buttons had been popped off in his haste to undress. I had no idea where his jacket or tie was; he looked amazing. Everything about this guy just screamed seduction and for just a moment, I forgot what I was going to say.

“Look, I yelled at that guy because...I got pissed, thinkin’ he was cheating you. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you think….whatever the hell you were thinking.” I said calmly. “Today was great and, and it was great because you were there...I just-”

“Why are you crying?”

I blinked and felt a few small tears fall into my hair; I licked my chapped lips, most likely smearing the makeup in the process, and took a shaky breath.

“Hisoka, I thought you were gone; I know whatever.... _this_ is with us isn’t normal. Shit, it probably shouldn’t even be happening but,” I bit my lip hard and closed my eyes against more tears. “I...I don’t want you _gone_. I never, I-dammit, sorry.”

“Say it.”

Hisoka let me lie flat on the bed, his arms and legs caging me in under his body.

"You're doing fine...say it…”

“When I think about you just being gone, I feel awful. And you’re awful; you’re a fucking bastard, but then you’re not, and I think maybe you give a shit about me, but maybe I’m just crazy. And then I...I see other shit about you and I like you all over again.” I laughed weakly and took his face in my hands. “I never know what’s going through your head.”

“Isn’t that just one of my charms?” Hisoka asked; I chuckled and let my hands fall.

“Sure…”

“So, I suppose you don’t forgive me then?”

“No, it ain’t that.” I shook my head and stared up at the ceiling; looking away from his gaze made it easier to speak clearly. “I don’t know….is it weird to say I feel protective of you?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, I know, you’re strong and shit, but that doesn’t matter. I’ll never get that, how when someone cares about a person and they don’t worry ‘bout them. Just the idea of some fucker wasting you or cheating you…” I glared at nothing in particular. “And yeah, you can handle yourself, but that doesn’t make me feel less...like I want to see you okay.”

I sighed and wiped my eyes, suddenly feeling very tired. Hisoka wasn’t saying anything; maybe he was at a loss for words too. Or maybe he was offended.

“I assure you, I most certainly can fight my own battles.”

My chin was tapped by his index finger; he was trying to get my attention. I reluctantly looked at him.

“But you say the silliest things to be sure. I have to admit, I really don’t always know what you’re going to say either. You’re very tight lipped when it comes to these sort of things.”

“I’m trying not to be. Life’s too short.”

“Even if I hurt you?”

I shrugged. “That’s on you; I’m just saying what I mean.” 

“Mindy.”

“Hm?”

Hisoka’s thumb trailed down my cheek; he licked the drying tear tracks and kissed my eyelids. “How would you like this night to end?”

I smiled softly and pecked his lips. “Oops, I got lipstick on you.”

“Red really does suit you.” Hisoka tilted his head and just barely let our lips brush together. “Mm...now I’m thinking of how bloody you made mine the other day…”

“Yeah...sorry.”

“Well, tonight is your pace.” Hisoka smiled and snapped the band of my panties. “Now these are more like it~”

I wrapped my legs around his waist and ground up into him; he fondled one of my breasts with his hand, rubbing the pad of his thumb across my nipple until I was rocking at a much faster tempo.

“You get turned on so easily for me...it almost takes all the fun out of it. Good thing the reactions are so stimulating.” Hisoka took off his pants and underwear before kneeling back on the bed. He put one of my legs on his shoulder and pushed aside the panties, slipping two fingers in.

“Yes…” I moaned as he used his thumb to massage my clit while he drove his fingers harder and harder inside. “Oh god, Hisoka!”

“That’s it...scream all you want.” he began ramming them inside until I was close to finishing. “Do you want me now?”

I reached down and took the head of his member in my hand; I ran my thumb over the slit and it leaked a drop. “I want it…”

Hisoka wasted no time; he licked his palm and stroked himself before pushing his erection all the way inside slowly.

“I can feel every inch.” I told him; I wrapped my arms around his shoulder and my fingers were yanking at his hair as he slammed his hips forward. “Ah! Hisoka-!”

“Does it hurt?” he slid his own arms around my back and pulled me against him until our bodies were pressed together tightly. We had never been so close during sex. “It’s so hard to be patient with you….everyday, every time we meet, you grow a little more it seems, and when you open your legs to me so easily…”

Hisoka gasped happily as I nipped around the rim of his ear. “You were terribly mean to tease me the other day; I’ve been spoiled by you, and then you refuse to let me have my way so suddenly?”

“Sorry; you were being a huge dick though.”

“What am I doing now?”

“Having a huge dick.”

Hisoka buried his face in my shoulder. “Don’t make me laugh now!”

I giggled hysterically the louder his own laughter got; we were laughing together, still in a sensual embrace, our bodies shaking as we sucked in breaths of air to breathe, laughing like little kids. I brought one of my hands to his face and made him look at me, smiling and unguarded at his searching expression.

“So...I’m glad you’re not dead.”

Hisoka’s grin reached his unwavering eyes; his member was still hard, but he wasn’t moving his hips.

“That’s good. It’d be weird if I loved you and you wanted me dead.”

I gasped as he pitched forward and held me to him; my soft moans grew more and more high pitched as he began rutting against me and sucking the skin of my neck hard enough to leave a bruise.

“Do you want to feel it? Do you want me to make you a mess?” Hisoka smiled widely, movements were getting more haphazard, his body was plastered to me from sweat. “I’m so close...can I?”

“Yes.” I moaned; my ankles pressed into his lower back and my nails were dragging down his shoulders and neck. I made myself tighter and feebly moved my hips as much as allowed. “Yes, yes, please…..Hisoka!”

Not a second later I felt something hot and wet inside me; even with his softening length still deep inside, I could feel a little of his cum seep out.

“I’m sorry.” Hisoka chuckled breathlessly. “This is a bit embarrassing...you didn’t-”

“I still liked it…” I pressed my lips to his damp hair. “That was amazing. You know, you’re probably the best I’ve had, heh.”

“Don’t mention others.”

“Right.” I couldn’t help smile; even with his blood lust showing, he sounded so childishly pouty. Hisoka waited until he was completely soft to pull out; he stood up on somewhat stiff legs to get a rag. He even cleaned me off after wiping down himself. After tossing the dirty rag somewhere, he rolled back into bed with a satisfied sigh.

“I love you.”

I didn’t say anything; Hisoka rested his head on my chest.

“Did you hear me? Shy are we?” he asked teasingly blowing air on of my nipples to watch it pebble.

“I don’t think you mean that. I don’t think you know-”

“Just because my love isn’t the same as your definition, doesn’t make it less real.” Hisoka bit down on my nipple a bit too hard; I cried out sharply and he smoothed his tongue over it in a sort of apologetic gesture. “How can you be so suspicious of me?”

I stared at him dully.  _"How indeed..."_

If he wasn;t lying through his teeth, than I

“I want to believe you. Hisoka, how do I know you’re not just lying to make me come with you?”

“If you don’t feel the same, then it wouldn’t matter what I think would it?” Hisoka pulled a mockingly disappointed face. “I can’t are believe you’d be so callous, and on my birthday too.”

“It’s your birthday?! Why didn’t you say something, I could’ve baked a cake!”

“You’ve done enough.”

I looked down at him and he just grinned cheekily.

“You’re the first person who said they were glad I was alive. You’re also the first person who’s cried over me.”

“I’m sure that’s not…” I cringed at my hesitance; he’d know if I was lying after all. “Well, I’m sure there’s been...um…”

“I don’t care very much. Though I must say, when someone like you feels that way, it seems like it must mean a lot.” Hisoka remarked simply. “I stand by everything I said before; the only difference is now I realize why I’ve been bending the rules so much for you. You should feel lucky.”

 _“Should I?”_ I decided to keep that comment to myself. “Hisoka...happy birthday.”

“Much obliged.” he rested and held me like I held my stuffed prize earlier. “We can talk more in the morning.” he pulled the covers over us and snuggled closer with a little hum of contentment. “It’s been a long day and I need my rest.”

“Still can’t believe that prick…”

Hisoka smiled against my shoulder. “Let it go my dear.”

I yawned. “Let my foot go in his ass…”


	38. Making New Memories

I really do love children.

In all honesty, it may be to the point that I'm too lenient with them.

Even when I hear kids screaming or crying or being genuine brats, my temper doesn’t flare up. I can’t get the thought out of my head that, yeah, they’re being bratty, but they’re still just kids; their behavior is learned and enforced by the world around them. They start off with nothing and are molded; at a certain age at least, they don’t know better.

As much as I’m able to keep this in mind for kids during the times I do have to deal with them, I don’t think it’s as easy for ourselves to do. We look back on our younger years and think how embarrassing that thing we did was, or we can’t believe we thought that was so cool, or we regret things we said.

But when we’re kids and there’s certain situations we just get stuck in, we’re supposed to get a pass. We’re supposed to look back on it and reflect, but not hold it against ourselves. We forgive ourselves for our foolishness, our naivety, our faults, our thoughtlessness, and our mistakes.

Of course, that’s easier said than done.

I remember being a kid. I remember my mom loving me very much despite her flaws; I remember her trying to provide for me when she could and before she snuck out the front door, praying my dad wouldn’t wake up from his drug induced stupor, she would leave me something to eat.

What she didn’t think was that he would eat it; sometimes he’d even go out and buy more food, eat that, and go back to sleep. I didn’t complain, because I knew better.

One morning, I was maybe four or five and had no knowledge of cooking, except maybe for cereal and peanut butter sandwiches. That morning I woke up and there wasn’t anything available for food, except a box of donuts.

They were his donuts; I don’t remember when he bought them or him telling me to not eat them, but I knew better. There was only a couple left and they were chocolate.

I crept into the living room where my dad was passed out on the couch, heavily snoring and at peace, unaware I was tiptoeing closer and closer to the box he must have accidentally pushed over the table in his sleep.

I could do it; I could reach in, take them and my stomach would stop hurting. It was that easy.

The catch was, I knew he would wake up eventually and he would remember they were missing, and then what would happen?

I still remember the way my heart was beating rapidly in my chest; my fingers trembled from a sudden feeling of cold and my stomach was flipping as I reached in and took them. I crawled back to my room and ate them and waited; my stomach was hollow.

It felt like hours later before he woke up; my mom wasn’t home yet and I was playing with a toy dog of mine. I shook like a leaf when I heard his voice yell out my name.

“ _He knows.”_ I thought as I walked down the long hallway and into the kitchen; I heard him throw something and saw the empty box crash against the floor. “ _He knows.”_

“Did you eat these?”

I shook my head.

“I didn’t **fucking** eat them.”

I flinched and swallowed a cry as he came forward; in my teenage years I’d come to see he wasn’t really that tall, but his presence was intimidating. At the time the only thing I knew was that I was little and he was big; I had did something bad and he was angry.

“I’m sorry…”  
He knelt down and smacked my face; the impact wasn’t enough to even put me off balance, but I sobbed because I knew this was only the start.

“Who told you you could eat these?”

His voice was low and trembling with restrained anger; my lower lip wobbled and I lied.

“Mommy...mommy said it was okay…”

He called her on the phone; I don’t remember what he said, but I heard her shrill voice just before he hung up and slammed the phone down on the table. He crouched down in front of me and put his hand to my cheek.

“I’m sorry honey, you should’ve said that earlier.”

“I’m s-s-sorry."

I was pathetic. 

"I was hungry and she said-!”

He hugged me and I felt sick; he let me go with a kiss to the forehead and I went to my room.

“I’m sorry...I’m sorry, I was hungry, I-I was hungry-”

I rocked myself and repeated the garbled phrase over and over, digging my nails into my arms; I knew what my mom would come home to that night and I knew it was my fault. I had thrown her under the bus to save myself one more hit.

And I was right; that night he yelled at my mom and beat her, probably for something else entirely, but the damage was done.

I had betrayed her. I lied to protect myself and there was no point. My mom never brought it up, and when I did years later, she only felt bad I had to go through that. For her, there was nothing to forgive.

So, maybe it was only right she left; I held that guilt in my heart for years and I never managed to forgive myself.

It didn’t matter to me how old I was, or if I was scared. I spent my life fighting against that guilt, and in the end, all my efforts were for nothing. I was trying to help in a hopeless situation that I just happened to be born into; there was no reason for it. Two people: one with a broken spirit and mind that made them turn to an escape which robbed him of true happiness and another who was clinging on to the remains of love and family, whose good intentions had flopped over and left her a husk. And then there was me.

I spent my life fighting against that guilt, trying to make things just a little bit easier, to show my mom I was there for her, to show my dad I couldn’t hate him, because I loved them both so much.  In the end, all that effort was pointless. The pain since then that’s broken something inside me comes with knowing that, and it’s grown from more than that one memory, or even a thousand other sad, blurry memories, because the fact they’re gone is what it led up to. All that’s left is me.

You can say it made me tougher. You can say it’s made me more empathetic and understanding of other people’s pain; you can say it’s molded me to who I am today and maybe it’s all true, at least to some extent.

But it doesn’t get rid of the pain; it changes it and makes it faint or brings it back like it just happened yesterday. It doesn’t cancel out everything that’s wrong with me; who’s to say I wouldn’t have turned out just as well adjusted, maybe even moreso, if I was raised in a loving, safe environment?

But I learned there’s no point in asking that.  
  
  
  
 **Third Person POV:**

Hisoka woke up slowly; he yawned and stretched out like a cat, making his side ache from jostling his fractured rib. Not that he particularly minded; if anything, it enhanced the wonderful feeling of waking up in the morning, nestled under the covers and next to no one.

Hisoka opened his eyes and blinked hard to get rid of the remaining grogginess; he was usually a light sleeper and the fact Mindy had managed to sneak out of the bed without him knowing surprised him.

 _“Now where did she scamper off to?”_ Hisoka chuckled and rolled over in the bed. _“How does she get up so early? At least she managed not to wake me.”_

The minutes passed and Hisoka found himself in between sleep and consciousness; he pondered what to do today.

 _“Hm...I don’t have any jobs coming up. I killed a man a couple days ago, so I won’t have to do that soon...maybe I can teach Mindy some card tricks.”_ Hisoka frowned. _“No, I like how psyched out she looks every time. It’s like blowing the mind of a dog when you give them food.”_

Now that he thought about it, Mindy was taking a while in the bathroom. Hisoka reluctantly sat up in bed and ran a hand through his hair as he looked around. He got up gingerly and knocked on the bathroom door.

“Mindy, I need to use the bathroom.”

Hisoka opened the door, but she wasn’t there.

 _“She’s probably making breakfast.”_ Hisoka stepped into the shower, the scalding water soothing his somewhat stiff limbs. It had actually been a long time since he was able to just relax. He wasn’t thinking of anything specifically. He was just taking his time as the memories of the other night lingered in his mind.

 _“Oh…”_ Hisoka looked down and licked his lips slowly. _“I think I know what we can do today~”_

He turned off the shower and borrowed Mindy’s towel to pat himself dry; he started putting on his clothes, but decided against it in favor of wrapping the towel low on his hips. After checking himself in the somewhat foggy mirror, he made his way to the kitchen, making sure to step lightly as possible so as not to alert her.

Hisoka smiled and peeked around the corner to make sure Mindy wouldn’t be able to see him.

Except, the kitchen was empty too.

In fact, it wasn’t just empty. It was bare. There were no dishes in the sink, no trash, nothing. Hisoka stood in the middle of the kitchen for a few seconds before making his way back to the bedroom.

“Where is she?” Hisoka saw his folded up clothes sitting on a chair in the corner, he realized they were the only clothes. He yanked open the drawers and the closet door; nothing. Mindy’s bag wasn’t even there.

The whole suite seemed to be oddly silent, but Hisoka had assumed she was just trying not to wake him; he took his towel off and sat on the edge of the bed. If no one was here, there wasn’t much point in covering up anyway.

 _“So much for talking in the morning.”_ Hisoka chuckled and decided to make the bed before he left. _“Oh, what’s this?”_

Two boxes were sitting on the floor next to the opposite side of the bed. Hisoka picked them up and opened the lids. The red dress was stuffed back in the largest one; the smaller one had the shoes. Both of the containers even had the white tissue paper used to line the insides.

_“Well that was considerate of her to put them back this neatly.”_

The boxes were tossed carelessly to the floor, landing with a little crash.

Hisoka stared at them; normally he didn’t need to quench his thirst for bloodshed so soon after barely two days. At his best, he could go a week or so, but currently his hands were shaking so bad he had to curl them into fists to steady them, nails stabbing the insides

His teeth were bared into a twisted grin as he raised his hands to his face.

“I need to calm down…”

Suddenly, Hisoka pulled them back, feeling a wetness on his face; his palms were bleeding from the indents of his nails.

_“I’ll make her bleed too.”_

Hisoka hugged himself, smearing the trickles of blood on his arms; the very thought made his cock swell. _“I’ll make her bleed and scream...that little tart. She’s such a hypocrite; she’s scared of being abandoned and then she leaves without so much as a note?”_

She was just out for a fix; and he had given her a free meal. Mindy was never one to turn down free food.

_“Illumi was right; the solution was there all the time.”_

Hisoka felt glee bubble up in his chest at the prospect of his new plan; they would fight. Mindy would have no choice but to fight back if she didn’t want to die.

It wasn’t too late; he could have her and didn’t need to do any of this. This silly dating and banter and kissing and heart to heart nonsense. He could just be done with it all and finally get to what he’s been biding his time for.

_“My patience is going to be rewarded.”_

Hisoka moaned loudly as he rubbed himself; the blood on his palms made for excellent lubrication as he swirled his thumb around the head, digging the very tip of his nail into the slit while his other hand slowly ran up and down his abs.

“Yes...oh yes, I’ve waited so long...” Hisoka squeezed himself tight and his eyes rolled to the back of his head as his hips jerked out of tempo. He just couldn’t contain himself at the thoughts of his cards slashing through her body. Perhaps he’d even go slow and incapacitate her, leave her to bleed out on the floor as he watched the life flicker from her eyes.

_“I always wanted to know how she’d be facing death...will she beg for me to spare her?”_

Hisoka wondered if Mindy would try to reason with him; she’d of course initially refuse to fight, but when she saw she had no choice and was on the deadly end of his attacks, would she implore him to stop? He did love her after all, so surely he’d have mercy.

 _“I’ll break her. I’ll be the last thing she ever sees......”_ Hisoka ran a tongue over his lips and laid back on the bed, salivating lightly.

Hisoka would take his time; he wanted her mouth to be stretched out in a silent scream as her body grew stiff and cold. He would make her scream until her throat was raw, every cut and the crushing of her limbs would be drawn out until he was sated with her level of pain.

 _“I’ll savor it as long as I desire.”_ Hisoka felt his orgasm bubbling to the surface; his whole erection was flushed red and stained with the blood and spit from his hands. _“And then she’ll be sorry.”_

He rubbed harder and faster, almost making his member hurt from the strain, but nothing was happening; Hisoka’s hips stuttered and he cursed under his breath.

_“Damn it all.”_

He let go of his softening cock and slammed his fist down on the bed in frustration.

And then the door opened.

“HOLY SHIT!” Mindy rushed over to him, dropping the basket of laundry and sending the clean clothes flying. “Hisoka, what the fuck did you do?! God, did you kill the doorman while I was gone?!?”

Hisoka looked down at himself; light traces of blood were indeed spread on his arms, stomach, flaccid penis, and hands; that wasn’t even taking into account how outlandish his face must have looked with streaks of dried blood still painted on.

“Oh, I supposed I got a bit...carried away.”

“There’s blood on your-oh my god, it’s too early for this shit...” Mindy gathered up the fallen clothes with a tired sighed. “Just take a shower.”

“Well, you know me.” Hisoka sat up. “Where did you go?”

“I did laundry; did you just get up?” Mindy said. “I’ve been cleaning all morning. I’m surprised, you always struck me as the light sleeper type.”

“You put away dishes?”

“Yeah.”

“And took out the trash?”

“Yeah.” Mindy raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

Hisoka stood up and made his way to her. “You should’ve said something. I was almost under the assumption you had gotten lost.”

“Gee thanks.” Mindy said dryly. “Just go-hey! Not with the fuckin’ blood!”

“But you’re so warm.” Hisoka nuzzled her neck. “Forget chores, we have plenty of time for that later. How about you join me for a hot bath?”

“No. The blood is gonna turn the water red!” Mindy struggled to push him off. “Come on, you’re getting my work shirt dirty!”

“It’s covered in grease stains.”

“That’s not the same as blood!”

“But it’s daylight savings time.”

Mindy paused. “Huh?”

“I’m rising an hour early.”

“....just take a fucking shower.”

Hisoka let her go with some reluctance. “I’ll just wipe this off; be right back~”

Mindy shook her head tiredly and began hanging up her clothes; her neck was still warm from the memory of taking the panties he had bought her to the laundromat. It was very lucky she only had so many things to clean.

“All done!” Hisoka popped back out only wearing his underwear; Mindy’s slight irritation seemed to abate as she walked over to take his hands gingerly, a faint frown marring her face.

“Hisoka, what happened?”

“It’s nothing for you to worry over.” Hisoka laughed blithely. “You know...we really couldn’t be more different.”

“Really? Huh, had no idea.”

“I’m being quite serious.” Hisoka assured her. “Isn't it funny, the people we find ourselves involved with? We’re opposites in almost every way; the one thing we seem to have in common is our passion.”

“Passion?”

“You care so deeply, sometimes excessively.”

Mindy lowered her eyes. “Yeah? I’m not the one who’s in love.”

“Exactly. You’re _not_ one to make such declarations on a whim are you? You’re the kind of person who thinks oh so carefully before saying those sorts of things. I, on the other hand, simply go with what I’m feeling for the time.” Hisoka said with some pride. “Of course, you think I'm lying. But at least when you say it, I’ll have no doubts.”

“You sure are confident.”

“Hm?”

“You said ‘when’, not ‘if’."

“I know you care for me. Feelings are more easily swayed than you might assume; I’m certain yours will change over time.” Hisoka smiled as Mindy caressed the tiny cuts that had already healed over. “I know you Mindy, better than you may be willing to admit. When you love someone, it’s forever isn’t it?”

“I guess I can't say you're wrong; it sounds nice on paper, but…” she shrugged. “I don’t know; I’ve never actually be in love like that, but I can already guess what would happen.”

“What would that be?”

“I'm screwed. Even if they did something awful to me...even if they changed or I couldn’t be with them, I’d never really stop caring. I’d always have a soft spot for the person I fell for.”

“That sounds like blind loyalty; or maybe reliable is more accurate? Hm...I suppose that depends on your view.” Hisoka hummed nonchalantly.

“No, you’re right; but it’s just the way I am.” Mindy smiled a bit sadly. “And I have to live with that.”

“You won’t disappoint me, will you?”

Mindy felt his sharp chin resting on her shoulder; it was actually a bit uncomfortable, but she wasn’t about to say anything. Hisoka took a deep breath and exhaled with a sigh; his whole body was lax, except for his hands. They encompassed hers tightly, the tips of his nails scraped the back of her knuckles like he wanted to dig them into her flesh. She could feel the indents of the cuts and was struck with the urge to kiss them.

“You wouldn’t do that, not a good girl like you?”

Mindy ran her hand through his hair. “Not if I can help it.”

They stayed like that for a bit, an awkward embrace for an awkward conversation. Mindy felt Hisoka trying to drag her down onto the bed and laughed.

“Hisoka, let me eat something first!” Mindy wriggled free and tugged his hand to make him follow her. “Come on, I picked us up donuts and coffee.”

“I thought you hated coffee?”

“Well, I got milk.”

Hisoka’s coffee was lukewarm by now, but he sipped it happily; he loved the bitterness of the drink with the sweetness of the donuts. He looked over the rim of his cup at Mindy; she was grinning very broadly and he felt immediately irritated. Not only was she oddly happy for no apparent reason, but she was basically ignoring him.

“Are the donuts that good?”

Mindy’s cheeks flushed pink and she fidgeted with her drink. “Uh, I sort of had a bad experience with donuts.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah….I’m glad I’m making a good memory with you instead.”

“Let me guess, you ate too many and got sick didn’t you?” Hisoka quirked an eyebrow.

“Nah, nothing that funny.” Mindy took a large bite. “Say, which kind’s your favorite?”

“Strawberry with sprinkles.”

“Hey, mine too!”

“You don’t say? I was expecting chocolate.”

“It was. See, there was this little girl I used to babysit; she shared a strawberry one with me.” Mindy grinned bashfully. “It was so sweet, I’ve had a soft spot for them ever since.”

Hisoka ran a finger around the rim of his cup. “Do you want children?”

“Oh no.” Mindy shook her head. “I love ‘em, but to actually have one? That's a big responsibility; I don't know if I'd be ready, not now.”

“I can see it.” Hisoka smirked. “I'd wager you’re the type who would take the crusts off their sandwiches and write notes for their lunches.”

“Some people aren’t cut out to be parents.” Mindy scratched her cheek. “I...I’d like to think I’d be okay, if I ever ended up having a kid somehow.”

“Well, kids happen to love me.”

Mindy sent him look.

“What?”

“They’re not terrified?”

“Children love magicians! Why would they be scared?"

“You’re like a hallucination someone would see while taking LSD at a haunted circus.”

Hisoka chuckled. “I think that’s a bit of an exaggeration.”

“You look like the clown some ‘turn-homosexuals-straight’ camp would hire to scare the gay people into being straight.”

“I wouldn’t say-”

“You remind me of a stripper for people with a very specific, most likely deeply seated trauma inducing fetish.”

“So...you think I’m sexy?”

“Yeah, actually.” Mindy admitted. “I mean, you’re pretty hot. Even when you make those creepy faces….I don't know, they're kinda cute.”

Hisoka put a hand over his heart. “I’m so flattered.”

Mindy shrugged her shoulders. “You have nicer hips than me."

“Oh, I beg to differ...” Hisoka slowly licked the frosting off his cruller. “Specifically how yours are perfect for grabbing onto while I have my fun.”

Mindy partially covered her grin with a hand “Yeah?”

“Would I lie to you?”

She was unable to answer due to stuffing a whole donut in her mouth at once; she mumbled something vague and sprayed crumbs over the table. Hisoka put his chin in his hand and sighed.

“You have such a way with words.”

Mindy swallowed and took a drink from her milk to clear her throat.

“Speaking of that,” Mindy folded her hands in her lap. “Hisoka...I think it’s time we had that talk.”

 

  
  


 

.


	39. Conclusion

“My, what a mess you made.” Hisoka shielded his eyes from the sunlight and stared around with an impressed smile.

“Yeah, ‘cause this place looked so damn nice beforehand.” Mindy snorted as she took a swig from her water bottle. “It’s fuckin’ hot out here.” she held it out to him, though there was just a mouthful left. “You sure you ain’t thirsty?”

But it made no difference; Hisoka was off in his own little world, tongue tracing over his lips as he smiled fondly at the barren landscape, marveling at it. Mindy cringed internally at his perverse moan.

“Oh Mindy…” Hisoka clapped his hands together once and beamed. “What a fitting place for our fight, just perfect.”

The whole way over to the impromptu crater, Hisoka could barely contain himself; even on the bus ride Mindy could feel his arms trembling around her waist the closer they came to the destination. She had the distinct impression he was holding back from crushing it.

 _“God he really is warped.”_ Mindy could still remembered the exact look on his face as she conceded to a match; his eyes dilated, red veins tracing around the irises as his jaw went slack. Before she knew it, she was on her hands and knees, his newly hard erection plunging in without notice while his bloodlust seemed to ooze from every pore of his being as he had his way with her in the middle of the kitchen floor. He had to carry her to bed later.

Now after a few days of travel, here they were, ready to begin the fight.

Not a spar, not a practice round. A real match, no rules, no regulations, no referees, or spectators. And only one person could be called the winner.

_“Hisoka...I…”_

Mindy was aroused from her thoughts as Hisoka stood right in front of her and snapped his fingers in her face.

“Well, how should we start? Would you like to step back and few paces? Or maybe we should skip the fluff and get right down to it?”

She told him they would stand a few feet away, and once they were a distance apart, it could start.

“No one should be this happy about a death match.” Mindy mumbled to herself once he had nearly skipped over at least ten feet away.

 _“Finally, finally.”_ Hisoka thought as he cracked his fingers and neck. _“She’s finally ready. I can satisfy this urge at last…”_

Mindy hadn’t bothered to pack her headgear or boxing gloves; they’d be of no help anyway, not when she was able to shield herself with nen. Even so, she wouldn’t be able to rely on defensive techniques to protect herself that much.

“I need to use gyo, it’s the only way I can avoid his hatsu.” Mindy took a breath; Hisoka looked expectant.

“Mindy…”

“What?” She called back tiredly. “You’re not going to win by psyching me out.”

“I was only going to wish you luck.”

“I mean it. I’m not scared of you.”

Hisoka laughed softly. “Perhaps so, but don’t tell me you’re not afraid of death.”

_“I-”_

“I’m not looking forward to it, but I’m not scared.” Mindy said; her tone was as flat as ever, bordering on exasperation. It was as if she was doing a chore that needed to be out of the way; if Hisoka wasn’t so eager to start, he might have felt a bit more miffed.

“Anyway, it’s been fun Mindy. I like to think our friendship-”

Hisoka bit his tongue as Mindy’s fist collided with the bottom of his chin.

“Gazelle Punch!” she ground out as her fists connected sharply over and over into his stomach. Hisoka smirked and made to grab on to her hands, but Mindy leaped back, very much like a startled deer.

“Oh, you’re using gyo aren’t you? Wise decision, you know my aura possess both the properties of rubber and gum-”

“If you know I know, why are you even saying it?”

Hisoka cocked an eyebrow. “Is my talking bothering you?”

Mindy raised her fists and planted her feet to the ground; loose dirt was hovering around her legs like a cloud.

“So serious.” Hisoka chuckled. “Well, I suppose I won’t be able to ensnare you this time...but how long can you keep it up I wonder?”

“Guess you’ll just have to wait and see.”

Hisoka’s eyes shone with amusement. “My...you’ve grown so much since that day. Are you trying to use your wiles to distract me?”

“ _Says the guy who talks people to death half the time…”_ Mindy kept her eyes trained on his hands; you were always supposed to keep your eyes on a magician’s hands when they performed tricks if you wanted to find out the secret behind them.

 _“Close combat won’t work in my favor if she’s watching me like a hawk...I’ll definitely have to get creative.”_ Hisoka felt his veins pumping blood at a rapid pace; the fight had barely just begun and he was on pins and needles. He needed to make a move soon, but part of him didn’t want to. _“I wonder how long I should drag this out? I could play with her for hours…”_

Mindy narrowed her eyes. _“What’s he planning?”_

She felt something sharp pressed to her neck.

“Oh, you really shouldn’t let your guard down~”

The card’s side was just sliding across her throat as Mindy slammed the back of her head into his chin once more and twisted his arm behind his back. She made to pop it from the socket, but Hisoka flipped her over, using the momentum to lunge.

Mindy rolled over as his hand impaled itself into the dirt and she ran.

“Shit!” Mindy cursed; Hisoka was on her heels. Her brute strength was reasonably more powerful, but they were almost matched for speed. She could feel his cards just missing her as she darted back and forth around the crater, toes barely making contact with the ground before she was forced to move out of the way.

 _“I didn’t want to do this while using gyo, but I gotta pick up the pace before I use up my strength.”_ Mindy growled as she dodged; one of the advantages of this area was that there was nowhere to hide or any extra materials to use as weapons; they were both in plain sight of each other. She didn’t bother hoping to outmatch his stamina; she was still years behind in experience and had never known Hisoka to be winded from physical exertion

Mindy turned to face him and took a swing at his head.

“Didn’t see that coming-” Hisoka threw his cards with a smirk. “Catching me off guard is nearly impossible, but I give you credit for the thought.”

The shu encased playing cards were lodged into Mindy’s skin, her arms, legs and torso stuck with at least a dozen. Blood was already staining them; Hisoka’s eyes widened slightly. She was still coming at him.

Mindy hit him with barrages of punches, each one causing significantly more damage than the previous ones; she could hear the sound of a few bones cracking and a few of her blows managed to break his skin, but it only took a second of her slowing down for him to evade and run away a respectable distance once more.

 _“She used ren so the cards wouldn’t go in deep enough to kill her. I wasn’t expecting her to_ _be able to be able to use her aura reserves for this long.”_ Hisoka breathed in and out steadily as he eyed Mindy; she was breathing much heavier than him, but she didn’t look the least bit tired.

“How clever; you bluffed me twice.” Hisoka called out. “Has that mentor of yours been helping with preserving your aura?”

“Yeah.”

Hisoka frowned. “No need to be so short.”

Mindy lunged forward, faking a right hook, but going in for the left; she could feel his shoulder dislocate. It didn’t slow him down though; he just used his right hand to try and grab her arm, but Mindy avoided it and began to dart away in a confusing pattern once more; she doubted anyone would be able to see them as more than thin blurs at this point.

_“But I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up. I can’t stop gyo now, not when he’s close enough to attach the Bungee Gum.”_

“You can’t run from me forever.” Hisoka caught her by the ankle, twisting it around; at the last second Mindy was able to use her other foot to kick the side of his head; he blocked it, but in his haste, his grip on her ankle loosened the tiniest bit for her to yank it free just before the bone could pierce through her skin.

_“Fucking asshole!”_

Mindy jumped; she was high above him, one fist curled in the air.

“Such an open attack...running out of ideas my dear?” Hisoka smiled; he knew at some point Mindy would run out of steam. When that happened, her technique was sloppy, and she barged into a move without thinking. She was so close, but Mindy wasn’t aware of the card he had hidden in his arm band; with a the barest twitch of his fingers. He had attached a threadlike sliver of his aura to it, waiting until just the right moment. The card was sharp enough to cut right through her throat with the force of a bullet.

This one moment may have been the most thrilling and the most disappointing.

 _“Our game is ending.”_ Hisoka smiled faintly as Mindy’s clenched fist came closer, but his eyes were trained on her vulnerable neck.

He drew back his arm and threw the card.

_“It was fun...wasn’t it?”_

But he couldn’t do it.

In what felt like an instant, Hisoka’s body was slammed to the ground; Mindy was still above him, falling from the air and landing gracefully, her weight mostly supported by her uninjured foot.

“How’s that for an idea?”

Hisoka’s card was knocked out of his fingers; his legs and arms were held out, his body splayed on the bare ground as invisible hands bound him to the spot. He tried to break free, but the nen held fast; they had appeared shooting up from the ground, these hands made of nen; to the ignorant observer, it would seem that Hisoka was just laying flat on the dirt.

Mindy stood above him; her face was expressionless. Even Hisoka had no idea what she was thinking.

“How did you learn a technique like this?” Hisoka asked; his tongue hurt a bit when he spoke, but that was of no importance.

“It wasn’t too hard actually. Emitters and enhancers aren’t too far away from each other on that chart thing. It helps that I made a vow not to use it on anyone but you.”

“But to make multiple hands...you should have said you could do this before.” Hisoka’s eyes were hooded as he peered up at her; he knew a big reason why he lost was because she had kept this a secret from him. “We could have used this for some really entertaining fun.”

Mindy was concentrating on her aura; Hisoka watched as her right fist emitted a purple sort of glow. He had never bothered to use gyo to see her nen before.

 _“There’s still a lot I don’t know about her.”_ he winced; the hands had tightened their grip, just avoiding breaking his bones. _“She’s not saying anything. Is she that mad? No, she doesn’t look mad.”_

As a matter of fact, Hisoka couldn’t get a reading on her aura period.

_“But why bother hiding her killing intent? Then again, she has quite the habit for pushing down those negative emotions....”_

Hisoka felt a bit disappointed. He wanted her to come at him, eyes blazing and fists flying like before; he wanted to see that stubborn determination, that will to do more, always pushing herself and moving forward, even if her efforts seemed fruitless.

But this?

“Mindy?”

She was straddling him; his hands were completely covered, so he couldn’t even flick a finger to to use his hastu. Hisoka stared into her flat, glassy eyes.

“Come now, say something will you? Give us a smile?” Hisoka pleaded mockingly. “Won’t you grant a dead man’s request?”

Mindy raised her fist; Hisoka wondered if it would be the last time she ever did so. The thought was flattering.

 _“She’s using 100%.”_ Hisoka smiled softly up at her; the sun had made him narrow his eyes, but her face was blocking it out. _”I suppose this is an official rejection then? Pity.”_

She leaned in, and pulled back her fist all the way; the trick to a good punch was keeping the arm straight as you made contact, which she did.

He felt his jaw nearly shatter, along with a wet sensation on his cheeks.

And nothing else.

“I…”

Hisoka pried open his eyes; his limbs were still held down, but he was alive.

“I…”

“Hm?” A casual inquiry for just narrowly missing death.

Mindy weakly smiled down at him though her tears.

“Sorry...I promised not to disappoint you.”

Hisoka felt her tears fall down her nose and onto his face.

“I promised...but I can’t keep it. I can’t-” she touched his swelling jaw gently; after a second she stood up, only to fall back on the ground. Hisoka felt the emitted hands fade away; he rubbed his wrist and leaped to his feet, but there was no need for any urgency. Mindy had finally used up her reservoir; any more and she would either fall into a coma or die on the spot. Her fists were shaking from the strain put on them.

“You’re in no state to fight or kill.” Hisoka told her as he looked down at her bent head, frowning deeply. “You're not worthy of either.”

Mindy’s tears dripped onto the ground, making darkened spots on the dirt.

“You’re of no use to me like this.”

“Guess not.” Mindy agreed.

“Utterly useless.”

“What else is new?”

“Don’t you dare.”

Mindy focused on the dull throbbing in her ankle, on the aching in her fists, on the sting of the cuts and the blood still seeping a bit from the wounds she had taken to throw him off.

“You’re pathetic enough as it is, but pulling this little defeatists attitude?”

“It makes sense. I was defeated.”

Hisoka’s eyes narrowed and his lips curled in disgust.

“Is this it? You’re just going to curl up and cry? You’re the biggest kind of let down for me.”

Hisoka kicked her in the side and she was skidded across the ground like a rag doll; he sighed.

“I was mistaken to think you could satisfy me...you’re just as weak as before; you don’t have what it takes to go all out on me.”

Mindy sat up slowly, but Hisoka grabbed her by the throat and forced her down, the back of her skull banged against the hard surface.

Her eyes were still blank as she gazed up at him unseeingly.

“How about some incentive?” Hisoka’s smile widened as his nails dug into her flesh.

“I’ll die either from this or overuse of my nen-ah!” Mindy gasped as his hand closed tight, but his expression was cold.

Hisoka’s hand was shaking; he could barely hold down his rage.

“So, you just give up? Well, isn’t that just typical? You haven’t changed at all.”

Mindy smiled, but her eyes reflected nothing.

“No. But you did.”

His grip faltered for an instant, just enough for her to breath.

“Hisoka...I can’t do it. I’m not sure about how I feel a lot; I forgot what it’s like to really be attached to someone, ‘cause I’m scared. Shit, I’m not sure what I want or need or what’s going to happen. But I know who I am and I know some things about me will never change. I know I can’t get rid of something that’s a part of me.”

Mindy looked back up at the sky; it had never looked so blue before. She would never be able to see it like this if she had stayed in her old home.

 _“Home? No...it hasn’t been home for years.”_ Mindy squinted her eyes against the sun. _“My home...it’s where they are. It’s with them; they’re part of it, the best parts of me. Wing, Zushi, Onna, Aro, and-”_

“Don’t pass out now or you’ll die.”

“Wasn’t gonna.”

“You’re a fool.”

“According to the cards...I’m the High Priestess.”

“Cheeky. When did that happen?” Hisoka sat back on his heels as Mindy struggled to sit up; she took deep, slow breaths and concentrated on her ankle. With wince she felt the sprain heal and tried to stand up; she wasn’t on her feet for more than a second before her knees buckled under her.

“You really are a fool. No, you’re worse.” Hisoka chuckled as he scooped her up. “You’re a fool who can’t finish what she started.”

“Me?!” Mindy glared up at him in disbelief. “You’re the one who started this, getting me to learn nen with your fuckin’ Machiavellian bullshit!”

“Ah, but you initiated this fight.”

“Hey, didn’t I shatter your fuckin’ jaw? And how the hell can you carry me anyway? I dislocated your shoulder.”

“A magician never reveals his secrets~”

Mindy touched his jaw. “I can fix it.”

“No need. But…”

“But what?”

“A kiss may help the healing process.” Hisoka eyed her with a suggestive grin; the, ‘and I don’t mean on the chin’, went unsaid.

“I don’t know...don’t really feel like it.”

“To the victor goes the spoils.”

“You didn’t win!”

Hisoka shrugged lightly and looked at the horizon; it seemed so vast against the flat earth. “Technically, you forfeited. Besides, this isn’t over.”

Mindy gave him a questioning stare.

“Perhaps you’re in the habit of giving up, but I’m a bit more persistent. Now that I know you have the potential to learn more hastu, why stop now? And until then,” Hisoka leaned down, breath ghosting over Mindy’s lips. “Well, I’m sure you’ll manage to find another way to keep my interest…”

“It’s not all about you ya know.” Mindy flicked his forehead and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Don’t be so full of it.”


	40. Epilogue: Detour

**Author's Note: Last chapter! Thank you to everyone who read this story, it's my very first self insert and it's one of the fics I've worked the hardest to make good. I couldn't resist adding in the song (Camera Shy), the lyrics just seemed so fitting, but if they bother you, feel free to bypass them! Also, if you can figure out the show reference, you get a cookie! Thank you again and please enjoy!**

 

 

 

 

 

_There is no hope for you and me,_

_‘Cause this long drive might be (the last time I take the wheel)_

_You’re not sure how you feel_

_I think the spotlight_

_Always gives you stage fright_

_Wish this song would end right_

_Wish that you would stop_

_Making my head spin_

_Over and over, it’s over, but what if we..._

_We just pretend?_

 

 

“E-excuse me!”

Mindy watched as the girl staggered to her feet and bowed to Hisoka in apology; when she bent down, her ample cleavage was incredibly visible due to the swooping neckline on the otherwise modest dress.

“It’s no trouble.”

The girl blushed heavily and looked up at Hisoka with wide, beseeching eyes. “Really? You don’t...hate me?”

“I don’t care.” Hisoka turned to Mindy. “See, I told you.”

“Dammit.” Mindy held out a few bills, but frowned before forking them over. “Wait, that was just one instance. I need more proof-”

“Hello, would you mind taking a survey for our cake shop?”

It was another extremely cute and busty young woman, but this one’s eyes were sharp and her mouth set in a cold frown as she handed Hisoka a flier.

“Certainly, I do like cake.” Hisoka gestured for Mindy to pay attention.

“Oh...I like cake too…” The girl’s frown faded and there was a sudden, faint blush on her face. “N-not that I like it because you do, I just-!”

“Wow, you really weren’t kidding.” Mindy stared in awe as the girl turned her head and folded her arms in a prissy stance; despite this, the bright flush still stained her otherwise pale porcelain cheeks.

“Told you so~”

“No one likes a bragger.” Mindy shoved the bills at Hisoka who licked his thumb and counted them leisurely. “So, why is this place...um…”

“Lovey dovey? Amourous? Romantic?” Hisoka raised an eyebrow and smirked. “I wouldn’t expect you to get into it, but the City of Aiai is famous for this sort of thing. It is fun when you’re bored.”

“I just think it’s kinda creepy how everyone acts like a character from a dating sim.” Mindy scanned their surroundings; every girl was participating in some activity or other that was the perfect setup for a romantic encounter. They all had their own distinct features, but they all looked incredibly attractive, not to mention their looks fitted every dating character stereotype. The tsundere, the clutz, the shy cutie, the tomboy, the proper lady, the flirt, etc. It was all one big game; no wonder he thought it amusing.

Hisoka poked Mindy’s cheek. “Don’t get too distracted now. It’s easy to get swept away in these theatrics, particularly for clueless people like you who aren’t experienced players of these sort of game scenarios.”

“Hey, just because I haven’t actually played a lot of dating sims, doesn’t mean I don’t have common sense. All you really have to do is stay away from the people right? Besides, I’m not attracted to women so I’m not in any danger.”

“Aren’t you worried one of these voluptuous beauties will charm me away from your side?”

Mindy laughed. “Seriously? As far as I can see the only thing that makes you double take is a good opponent, so unless any of these chicks can put the smack down or something, I’d say you’re safe. Hey, so what is your deal anyway?”

“My deal?”

“You know, which team do you bat for? One, both, all of them?”

“I don’t follow baseball.”

“Right. Well, it doesn’t matter. Anyone you’re interested in should be scared.”

Hisoka raised an eyebrow. “Just so we’re on the same page, you do realize I’ve been the one ravishing you for months now?”

Mindy rolled her eyes as they strolled along the stone road; even the streets were tinted pink. Not that she disliked the color, but some variety would be nice.

“I mean if you genuinely fell in love with someone; you’d be that psycho character type. Nice and unassuming on the outside, crazy asylum patient on the inside. Nah wait...you come off too malicious…”

“I think the term eccentric or whimsical fits me better.”

“Crazy people don’t know they’re crazy.” Mindy countered.

“As if you’re that much better; you yourself admitted seeing no problem with how I conduct my pleasures.” Hisoka smiled. “What does that say about you?”

“It says I’m not stupid enough to think anything I can say would really have an impact on you.” Mindy replied.

“Hm, you do know me so well. Maybe the saccharine atmosphere of this quaint little town will inspire me.”

Mindy gawked at him. “Don’t tell me you’re gonna start shit here? God, why don’t you just kick a two legged puppy?”

Hisoka laughed softly. “Well, I was thinking something a bit more tame. For starters, how about we go in and have some cake? I’m famished and I know you’re always hungry.”

“I’m not always hungry….I just like food. Besides, I better get something out of coming here.”

Hisoka held the door open for her.

“Thanks. Anyway-oh wow.”

Mindy looked around as they entered the cake shop; it was decked out with pink, red, and white decorations and the air smelled of honey and flowers. In fact, there were vases of flowers on every table, along with couples feeding each other, giggling privately at their own conversations, and even just smiling at each other dumbly without saying a word.

“This is so fucking weird…” Mindy couldn’t help stare openly. “This can’t be a real place.”

“Mindy, won’t you sit down?” Hisoka had pulled out a chair for her.

“Thanks.” Mindy said with some apprehension, sincerely believing he might pull it back out at the last minute. “Aren’t you a gentleman…”

“How about I get our cake?”

“I-”

But before she could say anything, Hisoka was already on his way to the counter where a shy looking, pink faced woman was stuttering out a greeting.

_“Man, I guess even guys like Hisoka can get attention in this place; well, he looks like a dating sim character when he’s wearing normal clothes. But seriously, what is it that makes people act so weird here? Air pollution? Radiation in the water?”_

Mindy looked at the bouquet of roses placed in the center of her table. They were deep purple roses and she curiously touched one of the petals only to find it was real. Mindy leaned over to sniff at them just to make sure.

“Do you like them?”

A server came over, this one a tall, older looking man.

“Holy shit.”

The man blinked. “Excuse me?”

Mindy smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, uh, they’re nice. I’ve never seen real purple roses.”

“Thank you miss, we grow them right in this town.” the man smiled warmly. “It’s a great export of ours too, especially since purple roses have a special meaning to go with their color.”

“Purple usually means royalty, right?”

“Yes, that’s right.” he smiled encouragingly and gently plucked one of the roses with the fullest petals. “But a purple rose specifically means enchantment or love at first sight. Fitting for this place, you agree?”

“Yeah.”

Truthfully, Mindy would agree with anything that came out of this guys mouth; she usually wasn’t one to get so distracted by a hot guy, but this hot guy was just her type. Large build, short cropped hair, stubble, a strong, but gentle aura, and the warmest eyes she’d ever seen; he almost looked too roughly masculine to be working in such a cutesy establishment.

“Miss?”

“Oh sorry. They’re so pretty, it’s a bit distracting-the roses.”

“Yes, pretty things are distracting.” he was looking right at her now.

“Oh, uh-heheheh.” Mindy snorted loudly as she giggled, making her slap a hand over her mouth. “S-sorry!”

The man laughed kindly. “Don’t be. They say men are more attracted to a girl who snorts when she laughs; you can’t fake a laugh like that.”

“Oh….so, what’s your name?”

He tapped his name tag with a grin. “Nero.”

“Ah, right.” Mindy wanted to slap herself. “My name’s Mindy; it’s nice to meet you...I gotta say, this place is a bit overwhelming.”

“It would be for people visiting, but you get used to it after a time.” Nero assured her; his eyes scanned her face appraisingly. “Here.”

Mindy felt her spine tingle as he tucked the rose in her hair.

“It goes great with your eyes; they’re so big and expressive. They’re enchanting.” Nero grinned almost bashfully. “Hey, isn’t Mindy short for Melinda?”

“Oh, yes.”

“In Greek the word ‘meli’ means honey and the word ‘lind’ means gentle or soft. It’s such a pretty name...may I call you Melinda?”

Mindy nodded mutely.

“Well, I need to go back to work. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to make your visit here more enjoyable.”

“Thanks you.” Mindy sighed as soon as he was out of earshot; Nero’s back muscles were constricted under the tight, white button down and she could see them shift with every step he took. _“Hot damn, I could get used to this place…”_

“Enjoying the view?”

Mindy was still zoned out. “Hm...?”

Hisoka was standing in front of her line of sight as she watched Nero, holding two pieces of cake.

“Mindy, I know this city can heighten feelings of affection, but don’t you think staring at me so blatantly is a bit shameless?” he chuckled as he set down the little plates; he sat across from her and rested his cheek in his hand, eyes staring her down and glinting with mischief. “Naughty girl...we’re in public you know.”

“Mhm...thanks…” Mindy was holding her fork, poised to take a bite of the pastry, but she was craning her neck to see over Hisoka’s head; Nero was talking to an extremely cute waitress with sky blue eyes. He stopped suddenly and his gaze caught Mindy’s and he waved without any embarrassment; Mindy ducked her head, feeling her cheeks burn as she heard his deep laugh.

“Mindy, I got your favorite chocolate cake~” Hisoka carefully cut a piece with his knife, picking it up with his fork. With a flirtatious smile, he held it to her lips. “I know I may be distracting, but you should really eat it while it’s still hot from the oven.”

Mindy gasped and put her hands to her cheeks; Nero was stripping his shirt off slowly, right there by the fireplace without any regard for who might be drooling.

“Oh my god!” she squealed softly as he took the axe by the coal bin and bid his coworker farewell as he walked to the shop’s exit. Just before he left, he threw a quick smile in Mindy’s direction.

“Oh,” Nero frowned lightly and took her hand that was still lightly clutching the fork; he stuck a piece of cake on it and held it to her lips. “Good choice, this one’s super sweet.”

Mindy struggled not to scream in delight as he fed her; with a satisfied smile, he let go of her hand.

“Is it good?”

She nodded quickly.

“I’m glad you like it Melinda. If you need me, I’ll be out front doing some chores, okay?”

Mindy nodded again; as Nero left, she turned in her seat to stare out the window after him, taking in as much of his bared chest and arms as she could. He was currently raising the heavy axe over his head, his stomach tightening and forearms taut as he brought it down on block after block of wood.

“Melinda?”

 _“This is the life…”_ Mindy brought another forkful of cake to her mouth, giggling at the sweetness as she watched Nero hard at work; she imagined herself sitting on the patio of a nice little cottage, calling him in for cool lemonade as he finished up chores for the day, wiping sweat from his furrowed brow, the tiredness evaporating from his face as he caught sight of her, his loyal wife-

“Don’t drool too much you might choke on your own spit.”

The cold voice cut through her fantasy; Mindy blinked and shook her head that felt full of cotton for some reason.

“Huh?”  
“Melinda? What, is that your avatar name?” Hisoka asked in a clipped tone. “And here I thought you didn’t play dating sims.”

“This isn’t a dating sim. This is awesome.” Mindy turned her head back to the window; Nero was still chopping away diligently without looking so much as winded. She wondered what those strong hands and arms would feel like-  
“Is it hot in here or is it just your hormones raging?”

“Why-?” Mindy felt her face; it was burning hot. “Oh...it is kind of hot. I wonder if Nero is thirsty...”

“Isn’t it a bit odd to be splitting up firewood in the middle of summer?”

“Who gives a shit?” Mindy laughed incredulously as she glanced over at Nero who was lifting a bundle of kindling in his arms. “I know this, that man could split me in half anytime.”

Hisoka made a strange sound in his throat.

“Did I say that out loud? Shit, did he hear me?” Mindy slapped a hand to her face. “Hisoka, look over for me.”

Hisoka’s hands itched for his cards. “I wouldn’t mind splitting him in half…”

“Hey, I saw him first!”

Hisoka blinked. “You do realize the only reason that man is acting so nice is because of this town’s influence? He’s merely playing a part, most likely the older brother figure or the refreshing boy next door.”

“Are you sure? You know, he’s pretty low key; maybe he’s not a native.”

“This isn’t a remote island.”

“Might as well be; I feel like we landed in another country.” Mindy mumbled as she glanced around at the couples still obliviously mooning over each other. “I don’t get what your problem is; you are the one who insisted we stop by and have fun.”

“Do you know how embarrassing you’re being?” Hisoka smirked; he already had a plan formulated. The quickest way to snap Mindy out of this spell was to bring her crashing back to reality and the quickest way to do that was to make her angry. And then they could get to some real fun.

“Me? What the hell does that mean?”

Hisoka smiled as she set down her fork a bit roughly. “Just what it sounds like; come on, it must have crossed your mind that he probably does this routine to every girl who comes in here. Not to mention, you just look like an easy target.”

“What?!”

“Well, we both know you love cake and it shows.” Hisoka looked her up and down. “He’s probably manipulating you for tips or to promote sales, most places like this do that even in a normal setting. Don’t get me wrong, you’re cute enough, but you don’t hold a candle to the women in this town, in looks or personality. Even if this man had more genuine intentions, he’d be running for the hills the second you let that uncouth tongue of your slip or the sloppy way you eat or that obnoxious cackle of yours. You simply don’t fit in a place like this; he’s probably shocked you fit through the door...”

Mindy’s eyes were narrowed and as she grit her teeth, seemingly unable to form a sentence due to her rage; Hisoka grinned back casually as she gripped onto her fork and broke it. His expression brightened even more as he noticed Nero was heading over to their table with a cup of tea.

“Oh here he comes. Why not show him just what I mean?”

Mindy’s hand were shaking by now; in fact, so were her shoulders, or more accurately they were jerking up and down tensely as she bit her lip harder to stop it from wobbling.

Hisoka felt his face go pale. _“Wait a-oh dear…”_

“W-what the hell’s your problem?” Mindy sniffed and her glare was dropped as tears spilled out of her eyes; she whimpered pitifully in shame as Nero caught sight of her.

“Melinda?”

“I-I’m sorry, I’m fine.” Mindy covered her face quickly, voice coming out thick and muffled as she weeped into her hands. Nero crouched down next to her, one hand on her knee as he tried to coax her to look at him; the other patrons had completely dropped their conversations and the lovestruck atmosphere was now incredibly tense as couples were whispering worriedly to each other.

“Melinda, I brought you some tea.” Nero was rubbing her head consolingly as she sobbed softly into her palms. “What’s the matter? You can tell me, your visit here should be a nice one…”

Hisoka was staring on blankly. _“My course of action may have been too excessive…”_

“I’m s-sorry, I really just want to go.”

“Can I escort you to your place? Are you staying in one of the hotels?” Nero asked patiently.

“Oh drop the act will you?” Hisoka remarked. “It’s getting old.”

Nero stared at him in confusion while Mindy’s sobs stopped; she abruptly raised her splotchy face to glare at him.

“No, you drop the act! You’re just mad because I’m having fun and you’re not the center of everything; well fuck you!” Mindy spat out as she rose from her seat quickly. “You petty freak, you go on about that Machi girl but the one time I-”

To Mindy’s surprise Hisoka was suddenly beaming.

“Is that what all this was about? Were you trying to make me jealous because you felt insecure?” Hisoka stood up and went to Mindy’s side, shoving Nero to the ground unceremoniously. “That’s so adorable. You know there’s no need to be jealous, you have your own charms-”

“Oh please! I’m not jealous you arrogant prick, I’m pissed ‘cause you’re a hypocrite! God, it’s such bullshit, you see I’m having a good time without you, and you just want to protect your stupid ego! And what the fuck are you all staring at?! Yeah, I fucking cursed!” Mindy whirled around at the stunned customer and staff. “And I’m not that feminine and I’m fat, but at least I’m not some fake, spiteful-argh!” she pushed Hisoka out of her way, sending him crashing into the wall; she tore the rose out of her hair, face twisted in sadness as she turned to Nero. “I...look, thanks for the flower and all, but I gotta get out of here. Good luck.”

Mindy tossed it to him and yanked the entrance door open, ignoring Hisoka as he lifted himself from the pile of rubble. “Screw you guys, I’m going home!”

The shop fell completely silent as Mindy stormed away; Hisoka was sitting up and sighed heavily, licking blood off his lips from where his face had smashed into the debris.

“That could’ve gone better…”

Nero took the rose in his lap and looked at Hisoka through dazed eyes. “What did you do?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business. I will pay for the damages though.” Hisoka stood up and pulled out his Hunter license, handing it to the shaking manager.

Nero played with the roses petals. “Wait, so then...she’s single?”

A card cut the top of the rose clean off in a millisecond.

“Uh, nevermind.”

_This isn’t right you said_

_It takes some time you know_

_Let’s try again tonight_

_This fight is getting old_

_I think the spotlight, always gives you stage fright_

_Wish this song would end right, wish that you would stop_

_Making my head spin_

_We’re young but, old enough to build up_

_Falling walls and false love_

_Wish this song would end_

_I wish this song would end_

**A few hours later:**

Mindy woke up on her side, head tucked under thick sheets; she felt so warm and comfortable, she momentarily forgot where she was as she struggled to rouse herself from the deep sleep.

 _“What time is it…?”_ Mindy hummed and stretched under the blanket; she pried her eyes open over the edge of the cover and saw that night had fallen over the city from the hotel’s floor length window.

She had gone straight back to the hotel room, punched her pillow for a few minutes, and decided to take a nap to sooth her pounding headache over Hisoka’s jackassery. Her bones felt somewhat stiff from lying in the same position since the middle of the day, and she slowly switched to a half sitting position while looking around dazedly for her phone.

“About time you woke up sleeping beauty.” Hisoka whispered as he trailed a finger up and down the back of her neck.

“Since you’re a magician, how ‘bout you make yourself disappear?” Mindy didn’t bother to look at him as she checked her phone’s clock. It was well into the evening, just a bit past eight.

“Mindy, you know I didn’t really mean any of that back there, right? I was just feeling a little grumpy since you were ignoring me…” Hisoka leaned on his elbow and surveyed her with a pout. “You know I don’t like to share my toys.”

Mindy glanced over at him. “So you admit to being childish?”

“Perhaps.” Hisoka conceded, brushing his bangs from his eyes as he gave her a mockingly bashful simper; his rippled stomach was accentuated by the way his pants rode low on his hips and Mindy grimaced as he smirked at her line of sight.

“Can you blame me? You were acting so peculiar and this was supposed to be a little trip for us, not a chance for you to ignore me.”

“You were only upset because you’re an attention whore.”

He shrugged. “Well, you didn’t really want to run off with that brainwashed fool, did you?”

“No, and even if I did, that’s not the-oh whatever.” Mindy rolled her eyes in exasperation; attempting to get Hisoka to see reason would just bring on another headache. She knew well that if it wasn’t under his terms and conditions, heck even if they were, he’d never completely admit blame.

“You know, for a guy who’s supposed to love me, you sure are being selfish.”

Hisoka laid down on his stomach. “I was lying; didn’t you know that?”

“Yes.”

“Actually, I wasn’t; well, I guess it depends.”

“On?”

“I love your strength.” Hisoka grinned seductively. “I love the way your tummy jiggles when I poke it. I love when you get so angry with me you can’t hold back from violence. I love when you take me too seriously or when things fly over your head; everything about you provides me with delight~”

“That’s not loving someone dumbass. When you love someone, you don’t just love how they appeal to you.” Mindy rolled her eyes. “Real love is about doing things for the sake of their happiness too, not just keeping them around for your own amusement.”

“Hm, that sounds like something I wouldn’t be into as an admittedly self centered creature when it comes down to it.” Hisoka yawned. “Well, what about this? I love how you’re the first person to really like me.”

Mindy couldn’t help smile grudgingly. “Well yeah, you would.”

Hisoka scooted over and hugged her hips, pressing his face in the small of her back. “And you’re the first person who’s let me become intimate with them.”

Mindy whipped her head to look down at him. “Are you saying you haven’t had sex before me?!? Well...eh, maybe that’s not too far fetched…”

Hisoka pinched her thigh sharply, ducking when she made to slap his ear. “You see, occasionally in the past after a particularly...stimulating fray, I find myself all worked up and sometimes I need a little help relieving myself.”

“So you jack off?”

Hisoka looked up at her through his eyelashes. “Why do you say that? Would you like a demonstration?” at her stony silence he continued his story. “Anyway, the primary way to seek my relief was through monetary trade.”

“Oh, so you hired a prostitute? Yeah, that makes sense.”

“May I finish?” Hisoka asked with a hint of impatience. “As you may know, most people find me too off putting due to my notoriety, and I’ve found myself without a willing bedmate.”

“Shocker….”

“And so,” Hisoka said loudly; Mindy shrugged but remained silent. “You’re the first person who’s let me be intimate with them willingly. Can you believe it? Some people just have no sense of adventure; you’d think I was some untouchable monster.”

Mindy maintained her silence for a few seconds before speaking up hesitantly. “Ya know I have to say, if you were someone else, I might feel special.”

Hisoka frowned. “And just why don’t you now?”

“Because that’d be stupid; I know the truth. I’m not special to you, and I know you too well by now for you to trick me into thinking otherwise. The only reason you even feel offended is because you want me to see you as special for yourself. You don’t care about my opinion.”

Hisoka cocked his head to the side and looked at her quizzically. “Really now? So...if I confessed my love for you right now, you wouldn’t believe it?”

“Nah.”

“Too bad.” Hisoka sat up and leaned an arm on his propped up knee. “I thought it might be funny if you did fall for yours truly.”

“Who says I haven’t?”

Hisoka stared at the back of Mindy’s head, at her tensed up shoulders and back as she pointedly avoided his gaze; he smiled and chuckled.

“Then I guess you’re more foolish than I was led to believe.”

“Psych.” Mindy flicked his nose with a childish giggle. “Gotcha!”

“Oh no. I got you.”

Mindy was thrown down on her back, Hisoka’s arms caging either side of her head as he loomed over her. She sighed and her hot breath tickled his chin; the whole scene was making him chuckle. Leave it to her to be staring up at someone like him with the most deadpan expression she could muster, despite her vulnerable position.

“You seem to enjoy those empty words that man spoke earlier...how about I try it?”

Mindy let out a bark of laughter. “Hisoka, no offense, but you don’t exactly scream romantic. I mean, if you were a route option, it’d be a bad ending or a villainous side character.”

“Oh? I was thinking we could just skip to the climax...” Hisoka leaned in teasingly, holding himself up now on his elbows and letting his lower half hover just above her. “What if I told you….you’ve allowed a trace of warmth into an otherwise cold and lonesome life?”

“And you were calling those people cliche?”

“It’s the truth. I found you by chance really, expecting you to be nothing more than a temporary, if not exciting, source of entertainment until the day I ended your life. I had it all planned so carefully you know, but then…”

Mindy’s lips were set in a straight line; Hisoka pressed his palm against her cheek and sighed. “As time went by, I found I just couldn’t dismiss you so easily like everyone else; knowing I was such an important catalyst for your transformation thrilled me and when the time came for you to grow into your own person, into my worthy opponent, my equal...I was disappointed.”

Mindy frowned. “Disappointed? It’s what you wanted.”

“But as time went by, I was no longer a priority. I was just another person in a long line of people who came to know and influence you, and worse yet, I was no longer the one closest to your heart. It made me resentful.”

“I would say petty….” Mindy mentioned quietly.

“Yes, that too.” Hisoka admitted freely as he began stroking her cheekbone with an affectionate grin. “It’s your own fault; you tease me by giving me everything and nothing.”

“You’ve given me your admiration, your care, your concern, your friendship, your smile, your tears, your past, your time, even your body.” Hisoka let his hips rest on top of hers completely, taking her face in both of his hands to make her look him in the eye. “You indulge me and tolerate me and accept me without asking me to change a thing, but you won’t follow through.”

Mindy’s brow was furrowed in sincere confusion; she was always the one open about her feelings and intentions and like Hisoka stated, she had never expected anything more of him than he was willing to do. She was probably the closest thing to a normal, human attachment he would receive and the closest he would ever want to be to another person.

“Hisoka, you know I’m not that smart; you gotta at least try to-what are you talking about?” Mindy asked. “Look, this isn’t anything new, but I don’t understand you. What’s the problem?”

“You. You refuse to give me your love.”

Mindy surveyed him, the look in her stare was clearly suspicious over her confusion; even so, she let him continue.

“You allow me so many things, but you refuse to give me what’s most precious to your heart. It’s so unfair...I’ve let you closer than anyone else has ever been. Don’t you see? I leave when you’re crying because it pains me to see you sad, knowing you need to cry like a normal person and anything I say would just make it worse. I killed that man because I wanted to protect you. I threatened Wing because I knew you would die in that tournament without learning nen. I kissed you to make you stop crying and because I had never seen you look more gorgeous than when you’re helpless under my power. I choked you to make you stop speaking because your words wouldn’t stop echoing in my mind. I tricked you into believing I was dead because I needed to know I still meant something to you. I’ve been trying to convince you to focus on your training and forget everything else, to make improving your strength your goal, because I want to at least be a part of the most important thing in your life if I can’t be it. I tried to keep my distance, but you made it so impossible; don’t you think I’ve realized if anyone were to ever find it in themselves to love me, it’d be you? Don’t you see how tempting that is, even to a man like me? I am only human after all; but you saw that already, haven’t you?”

Hisoka chuckled softly at Mindy’s expression. “Don’t I even have a chance? You’ve shown how kind you can be, even if it’s against your own common sense, even to people who don’t deserve it.”

He leaned over to suck just under her ear, burying his nose in his hair as he embraced her until their bodies were pressed flush together. He could almost feel her rapid heartbeat through her shirt, through his own skin and flesh and bone.

“You’re so warm...can’t you even try to love me, just a little? I know you’re tired of giving yourself to people who don’t deserve it, but maybe you take pity on me? You know I’m selfish. You probably hate me and I won’t play the role of villain turned nice guy who deserves a second chance, but I really did try you know. I tried to stay away when you left Heaven’s Arena...do you remember the tarot cards?”

Mindy’s frown deepened. “The one’s we...but they don’t mean anything. They’re just cards.”

“My feelings were symbolized by the High Priestess, a woman I care for who inspires me.” Hisoka insisted firmly as his grip tightened. “The cards foretold of me wanting something out of reach and the obstacle standing in my way is my own personal conflicts; my fear was a rival threatening my peace, our fragile little bond. All those people I have to compete with for your attention and my own struggle to remain impartial to you had hindered me, but the cards said change would bring me my happiness. I would have to change my ways to obtain what I want, but the outcome would entail me having to give up something, to make a decision. I didn’t realize what it meant at the time; I dismissed it, but it’s true. I knew to have your love I would have to give up my stubborn ways and tell you the truth for once. I guess it’s a bit late.”

“Hisoka, you…” Mindy stared at the ceiling, eyes open and unblinking as Hisoka rested his forehead against hers.

“I do love you by the way. I mean, as much as I’m capable of loving anyone….which is never enough.” Hisoka smiled regretfully, closing his eyes as he chuckled weakly, seemingly laughing at the ridiculousness of it all, at the irony, at himself. He took a breath and sighed.

“I’m sorry....”

He fell silent as Mindy’s shoulders shook under his hands and he pressed his forehead closer to hers; finally, he would get a proper reaction.

“Oh my god, you totally stole that!”

Hisoka’s eyes flew open to see big brown one’s twinkling in mirth; Mindy was laughing in his face, the only thing keeping her from doubling over was his body still pressed against hers.

“Excuse me?”

“The show about the talking horse I made you watch, you stole that last line!” Mindy cackled and snorted as loud as she ever had. “I mean, I knew something was up when you kept using those cheesy ass lines, but did you really think I’d just not notice?!”

Hisoka smiled despite himself. “I suppose I got too into the role. You have to admit, I had your heart racing for a moment, didn’t I?”

Mindy panted and tried to calm down her giggles. “Okay, okay, you almost had me for like, a second. Honestly, it was pretty obvious; the tarot card thing was a nice touch though.”

Hisoka rolled on his side, keeping one arm loosely on her waist. “Oh well. I suppose I really can’t fool you.”

Mindy shook her head in mild exasperation. “I mean, everything you were saying was straight out of one of those old romance mangas, the one’s where the cold asshole falls in love with the special for no real reason, nice girl and changes his ways out of love. I saw that bullshit coming a mile away.”

“Cynical aren’t we? You don’t think people can change for love?”

Mindy sent him a disbelieving look. “Well, not usually. Would you?”

“Good point. Though, you are special.” Hisoka offered. “You just need to accept it and stop being so modest.”

Mindy scoffed. “Oh yeah?”

“Hm, how do I put it…? Broken toys don’t do a thing for me, but I would attempt to patch you up.” Hisoka said bracingly. “I may even keep you around for kicks; you are my favorite toy.”

“Wow. Lucky me.”

Hisoka quirked an eyebrow and smirked. “Adorably feisty too. Now, tell me something; how much of what I said was a lie?”

“All of it.”

“Are you sure?”

Mindy turned over and burrowed herself into Hisoka’s chest. “Pretty damn sure.”

He smiled fondly and began stroking her hair, half tempted to rip out a few strand to incite her rage; it’d been far too long since she had landed a good punch on him. And it was cute to hear her curse him; it was one thing he was sure he’d never grow bored of.

“So, I take it there’s no hope for you and me?”

Mindy traced his collarbone with a finger. “No...well, maybe, but…”

“Hm?”

“No more wearing heels. They look tacky.”

“....was that a joke?”

Mindy beamed. “Yeah, sure.”

 

 

 

 

 

_You’ll play the love and baby I’ll play the lead_

_So strike a pose and fake a smile you’re coming with me_

_I’ll strum my guitar, ‘cause girl I know how you are_

_You’re just a little bit camera shy but you’re still a star_


	41. Alternate Ending: Pt. 1

**Author's Note: So, this alternate ending is a bit darker than my original. I didn't want to put it for the canon ending, but I did work hard on it and thought it might still be enjoyed. There will be adult content (of course) so fair warning. My adorable fiance beta read this and helped me with a few of the ideas, so here's to you! <3**

Mindy set down a plate full of deviled eggs, chips, pretzels, tiny hot dogs, and cupcakes on the dining room table she had moved from her apartment kitchen to the center of her living room. Immediately, her guests came over and began taking their own share, piling up their plates and leaving the once full platter in shambles.

Hisoka leaned against the wall next to Machi as Mindy took the tray back to the kitchen with a defeated sigh.

“So...come here often?”

Machi wordlessly moved away to the other side of the room to stand next to Wing and Zushi, who surveyed her almost warily.

In a less tense area of the room, Aro hid a snicker as he stole a chip from Onna’s own carefully organized plate, each category of snack separated and neatly piled in little heaps. She smacked his hand, causing the chip to fall right back in place.

“Ow!” Aro rubbed his hand with a pout. “Yeah, can you not hit people for no reason?”

“Keep your voice down. You’re being rude to Mindy’s guests.”

“Hey,” Gon slide over to Onna and tugged on her sleeve. “Mindy said you have this really cool technique that’s been passed down forever. Can I see?”

“Did she mention it was supposed to be kept a secret?” Onna said through gritted teeth as she looked around for the host.

Gon blinked. “It was?”

“Don’t worry lady, she didn’t tell him what it was.” Killua said nonchalantly as he stuffed his face with his plate of exclusively cupcakes. “She’d never tell him, Gon can’t keep a secret.”

“Hey!” Gon said defensively. “That’s not true! I didn’t tell her you were the one who ate all the other cupcakes-!”

“Shut up stupid!”

Machi sighed to herself and munched on a deviled egg. “Why am I here….?”

Wing cleared his throat. “Didn’t Mindy invite you?”

“I suppose.”

Hisoka had mentioned that he and Mindy were coming back in town so she could visit her friends, and was going to throw a small party at her place. He had also mentioned Mindy would have liked her to come by; of course Machi refused.

Initially.

 _“But Hisoka promised he’d pay me double for his next injury if I_ _showed up for a bit.”_ Machi was already beginning to regret her decision; sure, having Hisoka owe her was a nice feeling, but maybe it wasn’t worth having to alternate between avoiding him, being civil to these strangers, and having to watch Hisoka eye Mindy lustily every time she so much as stepped near him.

“This is disturbing.” Machi popped a pretzel in her mouth, feeling some satisfaction at hearing it crunch; she wished she could break one of Hisoka’s bones, but then he might withdraw his bribe. She scanned the room; she recognized only Hisoka, Gon, Killua, and Mindy.

“So...how do you know Mindy?” Zushi attempted to make polite conversation; Mindy already had enough to do with feeding and keeping her guests entertained, the least he could do was try to lighten up the mood.

“She helped me with directions in another town.”

“Oh...um, me and Master Wing met her at Heaven’s Arena a couple years ago. He taught her nen.” Zushi offered.

This seemed to peak Machi’s attention, if only a bit.

“Tell me something.” her gaze flitted over to Mindy as she scolded Hisoka for making Aro stick to the wall he was leaning against. “Is she really on par with him?”

“Hisoka?” Zushi’s own gaze traveled to where Machi was staring.

“I would assume she was talking about the magician.” Onna had appeared with them to escape listening to Gon and Killua’s bickering. “How do you know Mindy?”

Machi frowned slightly. “Does it matter?”

Onna sent her a look. “I’m simply surprised she’d invite someone who can’t bother to make polite conversation at a party she was invited to.”

“Seeing as how this is her home, I find it surprising she would invite someone so quick to pick a fight with a perfect stranger.”

“I’m just trying to get to the bottom of why Mindy allowed such an unsociable stranger to a party of friends. I wouldn’t say it was too much of a stretch to assume she felt she had to invite you due to your association with the magician.”

Machi and Onna sized each other up before looking away pointedly, each with subdued frowns and narrowed eyes. Wing and Zushi edged away with uncomfortable grimaces as they sensed the chilly aura emanating from each woman.

 _“This is the most polite trash talking I’ve ever heard….”_ Aro thought to himself as Hisoka finally let him go; he was smiling at the younger man quite pleasantly. _“So, this is him huh? Mindy must be into some weirder shit than I thought...”_

“Killua, that’s my cupcake!”

Killua smirked and stuffed the whole thing in his mouth, licking his lips in satisfaction. “Serves you right for eating my snacks the other day.”

“I was hungry!” Gon glared at him childishly. “You’re just trying to hoard all of Mindy’s cupcakes!”

“No!”

“Now boys, don’t you think you could stop this? Maybe instead of fighting you could help Mindy in the kitchen?” Wing suggested sternly.

“Mr. Wing, why aren’t you helping her?” Gon posed the question with genuine curiosity.

“I, well-”

“Master Wing tried before everyone got here, but he made Mindy burn the first batch of hot dogs and then he ruined her stove-”

“Ha, seriously?!” Killua snickered along with Aro who had just joined the group once out of Hisoka’s radar.

“Yeah, this guy once burned water trying to help make tea!” Aro slapped Wing’s back playfully. “Hey, remember how the untucked side of your shirt caught fire when-?”

“Aro, you’re interested in how nen is supposed to work, right? Perhaps you’d like a demonstration of ko.”

“Yeah, I’m good…” Aro’s nervous gaze slipped over briefly to where Machi and Onna stood a foot apart, avoiding each other’s gazes but very clearly both were not on the best terms from the almost identically imperceptible frowns. “Wow, you’d think as alike as they seem they’d be getting along.”

Gon looked over unabashedly. “Well, Killua’s my best friend and we’re pretty different.”

“Shut up!” Killua turned away, cheeks flushed just barely as he covered Gon’s mouth with a slap. “And stop staring, you’ll just make them more irritated.”

“Now, now, where are your boy’s manners? Ah, but it’s so adorable how rambunctious you are.” Hisoka, unsurprisingly, appeared out of thin air. “Still, I’m anticipating the day you both mature accordingly. I suppose until then I’ll just have to occupy myself with...other pursuits.”

“What, you mean being a pervert?”

Hisoka shot Aro a smug smirk. “Do I sense jealousy?”

“Yeah, ‘cause everyone here wasn’t thinking the same thing…”

Killua was glaring venomously up at the smiling man. “Why are you here anyway?”

“I never thought Mindy would have such hostile friends; I suppose it can’t be helped. I am the only one here who has only the best intentions for her.”

Wing raised an eyebrow. “Surely you’re joking?”

Gon raised his face from his plate. “Who told a joke?”

“Hisoka.” Machi had pried herself from her wallflower position and marched up to said man with a cold stare. “I’ve been here for exactly too long. I met your conditions; I’m leaving.”

“You’re leaving?” Mindy was coming over to the group with a fresh tray of brownies and a pitcher of lemonade. “You just got here.”

“I wasn’t planning on coming in the first place.” Machi said thinly and sent Hisoka an annoyed glance. “My apologies, but I didn't intend to stay long.”

“Oh...I feel bad, I didn’t even really get to talk with you.” Mindy smiled apologetically. “Hold on, let me pack you some food. I made plenty-”

“Machi, you’re so cold to refuse her hospitality.” Hisoka chimed in with a disapprovingly condescending tone. “And here I was hoping we could all get to know each other a bit more intimately.”

“Hisoka, stop bugging her.” Mindy said firmly. “I’m not gonna have you being a fucking creep to my guests. Why don’t you make yourself useful and do some party tricks or something?” she frowned at Hisoka’s sudden excited grin. “Wait, never mind. Just-I don’t know, keep your hands to your sides or something.”

Mindy turned to Zushi and bent down a bit to get to his eye level. “Zushi, want to have some of the leftover cake batter? You can lick the spoon.”

“Sure!” Zushi raced to the kitchen; Gon was looking on enviously.

“Wait, I want some too!” he zoomed after Zushi, almost knocking over a chair in his haste.

“Killua, do you want to go to?”

“Yeah, I guess…” Killua folded his hands above his head. “I’ll make sure they stay in line. You gotta keep an eye on kids, you know?”

Mindy smiled. “You don’t say?”

Killua nodded. “Gon’s not as mature as me and he might be a bad influence on Zushi. But don’t worry, I got this.”

The hand that gently ruffled his hair caught him off guard.

“Thanks; and help yourself to as many cupcakes as you want.”

“It’s not a big deal.” Killua puffed out his chest with an aloof pout, eyes averted as he made his way to the kitchen. “Leave it to me.”

Mindy successfully kept herself from snorting in laughter as he nearly tripped over the edge of the carpet.

“They really are children after all.” Machi commented absently.

Mindy smiled slightly. “Yeah, they’re good kids. So, do you want me to pack you some of the chips too?”

“I’m not that hungry.”

“Oh. Well, it was nice seeing you again.” Mindy smiled. “Sorry about Hisoka; he sort of talked you into this, didn’t he?”

“Yes. But it was my mistake to assume I’d be able to tolerate him for more than a few minutes.”

“Sorry.”

Machi clicked her tongue. “Why do you keep apologizing?”

“I asked him to try to get you here, but I meant for him to just ask you.” Mindy rolled her eyes; Hisoka was busy trying to goad Onna into using her sword. “I’m sure you get enough men bothering you as it is.”

Machi blinked. “Which means?”

“Oh, well you probably don’t remember, but me and Aro saw you around the city once. You know, we both thought you were a model or something; who knew you knew this douche?” Mindy nodded over to Hisoka; he waggled his fingers at both of them playfully while Onna steamed quietly as she refrained from giving him the satisfaction of seeing her squirm.

“I still find it hard to believe you’re as strong as him.” Machi remarked none too tactfully.

“Gee thanks...don’t get me wrong, I only almost beat him by luck. Plus, he didn’t know this new move I was working on.” Mindy shrugged. “But I’ve been working really hard; I guess I still have a ways to go before I’m on his level exactly.”

Machi turned her eyes to Mindy fully. “Are you really a Hunter like him?”

“Like Hisoka?”

Machi sighed in slight impatience; it felt like she was talking to a parrot. A really dumb, clueless parrot.

“Yes. Do you fight for the sake of it?”

“Nah, not me.” Mindy shook her head. “Actually, I want to be a Trouble Hunter.”

Machi said nothing, though she had to admit, she was the tiniest bit curious. She herself had never actually met a Trouble Hunter. Not that she wished to; but still, even she was allowed moments to be curious, wasn’t she?

“A Trouble Hunter?” Machi wanted to cringe as she accidentally echoed Mindy’s words. _“It’s contagious…”_

“I guess it might sound kinda boring, but...I don’t think there’s anything else I’ve ever wanted to do. I spent so much time looking for something to do, to work toward; maybe Hisoka’s right and I’m wasting my potential as a fighter, but I don’t want to hurt people.” Mindy rolled her eyes once more at the face she could imagine Hisoka making at her statement. “If I can...I’d like to help people. There’s enough good asskickers; I think what some people really need is to know the world isn’t as shitty as it seems to be. At least, it doesn’t always have to be.”

“If I stay a bit longer, will you stop rambling?”

Mindy couldn’t help laugh a bit despite feeling offended; this lady really was too much like Onna, she was shocked they didn’t join forces.

“Yeah, sure. Help yourself to the food if you get hungry, okay?”

“Mindy, I can’t turn on the TV!” Aro called out.

“Is it still unplugged?”

“Yeah. Plug it back in for me?!”

“Oh my god you bum.” Mindy groaned in exasperation and left Machi alone to wonder what the hell she had just done.

“Machi, you big old softie.”

“Got bored already?” Machi muttered; Onna was sitting next to Aro now, holding the remote away as they argued what to watch.

“You like her.”

“I find her irritatingly snobby.”

“No, no, not the samurai. I meant Mindy.”

“I thought it would be rude to take off so suddenly; unlike some people, I actually have manners. Besides, I need to kill the time before I have to head over to Yorknew City.”

“Come on, loosen up. Mindy asked you to stay longer, didn’t she? Her needless kindness almost makes you forget how simple she really is.”

Machi made no reply for the backhanded compliment as Hisoka lowered his voice, eyes still trained on where Mindy was wrestling Killua away from Zushi and Gon, who were grinning broadly. They had dumped what looked like a bowl of batter on his head; Aro was howling with laughter while Wing sighed in defeat and took a seat next to a vaguely amused Onna.

“It’s so frustrating though; I’ve been trying to point her in the right direction forever now. She’s so stubborn, won’t do anything unless it’s on her terms. But she’s much more compromising with you.”

“I am a guest. She should be treating me with consideration.”

Hisoka leaned over slightly to whisper. “Isn’t she cute? You know, I bet we can have all sorts of fun together...”

“Please keep me out of your sick fantasies. It’s bad enough you somehow roped her into them.” Machi shuddered just slightly, not bothering to try to figure out what Mindy was doing with someone like Hisoka. Perhaps his theory on opposite nen auras and opposing attractions had some merit. After all, they were both transmuters, and she detested him.

_“Then again, most everyone does…”_

“It seems everyone is catching a bad case of envy today. Mindy is my toy, like all my others; she just happens to be a favorite.” Hisoka chuckled blithely, as if he wasn’t enjoying every minute of the conflict he caused. “But it seems to upset so many people.”

“Of course you wouldn’t get why she shouldn’t be anywhere near you.” Machi replied simply. “Mindy….has a promising future. She’s someone who will be useful to this world, even if it’s in an ultimately insignificant way.”

“Now Machi, do keep in mind it’s rude to play with other people toys without permission.”

Machi stiffened at his suddenly hostile aura.

“If I sense you’re trying to turn her against me and get in the way of my fun...well, you wouldn’t do that to an old friend, would you?”

Machi scoffed lightly. “I couldn’t care less what you or her get up to; I’m merely making an observation. I must admit, I pity her. But then, she should know better if she knows you as well as she seems to.”

Hisoka frowned. “You really are as dull as that woman.”

Two hours later, Onna had disappeared (with one last glare at Machi), Aro was helping clean up the mess, and the rest of Mindy’s house guests were bidding her farewell.

“Thank you again for having us over. I apologize for Zushi and Gon, and yes, you too Killua. You nearly trashed Mindy’s kitchen.” Wing said with a frown; all three boys were still messy with cake batter.

“Sorry Mindy…” Zushi bowed. “It won’t happen again!”

“Yeah, I guess we sort of overdid it.” Gon smiled sheepishly.

Killua sneered. “We? You guys messed up.”

“You almost electrocuted me!” Zushi accused in disbelief.

“You asked for it.”

Gon stuck out his tongue. “Stop acting like you’re the boss of us Killua!”

“Whatever. And you guys started it!”

“Did not!”

“Did to!”

Wing ushered the boys out with a heavy sigh. “Goodnight Mindy.”

“It was fun guys, thanks for coming by!” Mindy waved as they descended down the stairs; Machi was ignoring them all as she stood by the mouth of the stairwell. “Oh wow...I wasn’t expecting all that shit. But it was nice.”

“You call that chaos nice?”

“Well, it was nice to have everyone here.” Mindy amended. “It’s nice to have people around I guess.”

“Whatever you say. I’ll be going.”

“Machi!”

“What?” Machi was already halfway down the steps.

“I know you were kind of annoyed the whole time, but thanks for sticking around. Maybe you can stop by again if Hisoka’s off on his own…”

Machi shrugged her shoulders. “If you insist, I suppose if I have the time and need lodging.”

Mindy smiled wryly as she watched the woman walk away. “Geez, what a tsundere…”

While Mindy was saying goodbye, Hisoka and Aro were busy with their own conversation; if it could be called something that civil.

Aro had just finished sweeping the floors of crumbs and collapsed on the couch adjacent from Hisoka, who was leaning against the wall, idly shuffling his deck as he waited for Mindy to be done with the tedious pleasantries.

“So...do you get gigs at kids parties or do you just wear that for the hell of it?”

“I’m not in the mood to deal with a petty boy’s jealousy. Just because Mindy rejected you, it doesn’t mean you need to pick a fight.” Hisoka smiled genially. “After all, she is her own person; she could leave anytime she wanted, so save your little threatening speech for someone else, will you?”

Aro smiled back. “Yeah, I’m not worried. But it’s funny; you must think you’re something real special.”

“Pardon?”

“Yeah, don’t get me wrong, you’re not exactly the everyday guy. You’re strong and scary as shit; I can’t sense nen, but even I know it’d be stupid to fuck with you. Still, you don’t have anything going for you, at least nothing that’s gonna keep her around for long.”

Hisoka chuckled briefly. “I like your spirit. Are you trying to challenge me?”

“Yeah, no way. I don’t stand a chance, but then again, we’re in the same boat. Mindy didn’t pick either of us; yeah, she’s sleeping with you, but she didn’t actually choose you. You’re the distraction. She’s told me all about you, how you operate, and I figure it’s only a matter of time until she gets bored. She knows you don’t care and she’s going to keep herself from getting too attached; Mindy’s smart. She knows this can’t last. Didn’t you?”

Aro winced; in the blink of an eye, a card was being pressed very lightly against his neck.

“I really don’t appreciate being talked down to by some weakling. Get over your little crush and stop trying to intimidate me. You’re only embarrassing yourself; you may be Mindy’s friend, but my patience is running thin.”

To his credit, Aro actually laughed. “Hey, I’m just being honest. You know you’re not her priority. You know she has a lot going for her and how this’ll end, right? Someday she’ll meet someone who’s worth her time and then she’ll really forget all about you. Or maybe she’ll just move on with her career or whatever else is more important.”

Aro made himself look Hisoka in the eyes as he felt the card press just a little bit closer to his skin; maybe he was being reckless, but he didn’t care. Mindy was still his friend and he wanted to make sure Hisoka knew that he knew how their “relationship” really worked.

“And how would Mindy feel knowing you’re talking like this behind her back?”

“Mindy’s told me all about you. Who do you think she goes to when she needs to talk about what a dick you are?”

“And this is coming from the one holding Mindy back? You and those others are the distractions consuming precious time and energy that she could be expending on honing her skills. Someday she’ll mature into my equal and when that day comes….” Hisoka licked his lips slowly and Aro edged away for the first time. “Mindy just needs someone to nurture her growth. She needs me to unleash and foster her true potential.”

“Yeah, for someone who acts so smug, there’s a lot you don’t seem to understand about your position. So maybe you should stop talking down to me. Face it man; when it comes right down to it, you don’t matter.”

Mindy opened the door, fumbling with the rusty lock as she nearly had to force it open.

“Shit, I gotta get this fixed. Hisoka, I sensed your bloodlust.” Mindy sounded almost bored. “Did I miss something?”

“Certainly not; I was merely thinking how fun it would be if you, Machi, and I had a three way death match.” Hisoka was leaning against the opposite side of the room, playing with his cards. Aro was slouched lazily on the recliner and gave Mindy a little smile.

Mindy waved back glumly. “Anyway….Aro, thanks for keeping the house clean while I’ve been gone. Me and Hisoka are going to stay in a motel and leave in the morning. Are you sure you have everything you need?”

“Yeah. Trust me, I’ve got it under control.” Aro sent Hisoka a grin as soon as Mindy turned away to get her bag. “Today was a lot of fun.”

Once Mindy had said goodbye and given Aro a list of things he might want to get checked in the apartment, she and Hisoka hopped in their rental car to drive away. As much fun as it had been, Mindy was feeling exhaustion set in and she looked forward to getting plenty of sleep before she and Hisoka set out on their travels.

“Well, that went pretty good.” Mindy smiled happily as she started the engine. “I’ve never thrown a party before.”

“Yes...it was quite an experience.”

As soon as they arrived at the motel, Mindy felt a sharp sense of relief; the whole ride Hisoka had been eerily silent. He just stared out the window with an odd little smile on his face, seemingly lost in thought the whole way. She knew Aro had most likely said something about Hisoka and her being together, but Mindy couldn’t fathom what Aro could have possibly said to make Hisoka feel threatened or on edge, so she decided to chalk up his odd behavior to him being annoyed she had spent most of the party scolding him and attempting to entertain and cater to the rest of her guests.

 _“Well, what does he expect?”_ Mindy thought to herself ruefully as she lugged her bag onto a small, somewhat dated looking couch; Hisoka wanted to check in somewhere more comfortable, but Mindy didn’t want to waste time waiting for a nice room to open up at a luxurious hotel. She knew if they had to spend the night at her apartment with Aro, things would have really gone downhill and it was obvious whose side she was bound to take.

At the moment all Mindy really wanted was to get plenty of sleep before they had to head out in the morning.

“You look happy.”

Mindy shrugged at Hisoka’s remark; truthfully, she was still feeling a buzz from all the festivities. She had to do a lot more work than she once assumed, what with cooking, speaking with everyone, cleaning up the mess, and keeping the peace in general, but it was the first party she had ever been to and it was with friends. It was almost like a caffeine high and part of her wanted to stay up and move her faintly restless legs.

“You had a big day.” Hisoka smiled lightly and flopped down on the sagging mattress; to his credit he didn’t even grimace at the admittedly dinky room. Instead, he patted the spot next to him. “Mindy, sit down. You’re more tired than you realize; remember what I told you about runner’s high? Having a fun time can have the same effects, and you need to be well rested if we’re going to move on to transmutation tomorrow.”

“First of all, I don’t know if I want you teaching me.” Mindy retorted as she busied herself putting away her own towel and toothbrush in the tiny bathroom. “Also, I can’t help that I’m not tired. I don’t think I could go to sleep if I tried.”

“Lie down and just clear your thoughts; you’re already used to doing so for meditation, aren't you?” Hisoka reminded her; his suggestion sounded like one a person would make in the tone for speaking to a child, but Mindy chose to let it slide. She took up the left side of the bed and got under the covers, eyes staring straight up at the ceiling.

“It’s not working.”

“Well, maybe you need another way to relax.” Hisoka’s bemused smile was blocking out the light from the dimming bulb that hung unshaded above the doorway; Mindy felt torn between slight exasperation and arousal as he kissed the side of her neck and pulled her close enough to almost hurt. Pain and sex usually went hand in hand to varying degrees depending on Hisoka’s mood.

 _“Doesn’t everything?”_ Mindy sighed and put her hands on his shoulders to get him to stop, but before she could, Hisoka had pulled away on his own. Mindy looked over in concern as he sat on the other end of the bed, frowning and checking his phone.

“Hm...forgive me my dear, but it seems I’m late for a job with my associate.” Hisoka flashed her a coy smile. “It seems your beauty has distracted me.”

Mindy’s eyes rolled up to the ceiling and she shook her head. “Uh-huh. Go on, just make sure you’re back before we have to leave, alright? If you’re late I’ll head out first and you can take a later train.”

“Will do. I swear this won’t be but an hour at the most.”

Hisoka blew her a kiss (she actually flinched involuntarily) and was out the door in seconds; once he was sure Mindy wouldn’t be able to hear his conversation, he dialed Illumi’s number. His fingers twitched around the cold metal as he spun the final touches of his plan in his brilliant mind; just as he felt ready to burst in excitement, the dial tone ended and a familiar but dull voice came from the other line.

“Hisoka?”

“Hello again~” Hisoka greeted with a friendly smile he knew Illumi wouldn’t be able to see.

“What on earth could you want now?”

“Why do you assume I’m calling to ask a favor?”

Hisoka took the silence as a reply on it’s own.

“Anyway...this is something only you can help me with.”

“Or you simply have no one else willing to assist you more likely. If you do need an assassin, please keep in mind I don’t work for charity.”

“This will benefit you, if you play your...cards right.”

“Get to the point.”

Hisoka explained what he needed Illumi to do quickly; he truly was being honest, despite what his old associate might believe. He made up his mind; he was going to teach that brat a lesson, but he needed Illumi’s skills to do it. If the job was done solo, Mindy would undoubtedly suspect him.

Indeed it was only about forty minutes later when Hisoka came back into the motel room; Mindy was still up and wrapped in the thin blankets, looking half asleep. Once she heard the door open, she sat up in bed and smiled.

“Hey, how’d it go?”

“About as well as one might expect.” Hisoka replied easily; he climbed back into the bed with her and laid down on his back. “Have you been up this whole time?”

“Yeah. I know I have to sleep, but I guess I’m still kind of buzzed from the party.” Mindy yawned and rested her head in the crook of Hisoka’s shoulder. “You don’t sleep much at all, huh?”

“I don’t really need to.”

“I know Aro said something to bug you...but you had fun right? You gotta admit, it was pretty funny how Killua was trying to boss around Gon and Zushi in the kitchen.” Mindy laughed under her breath at the memory. “Well, it was funny until I saw what they did to my kitchen.”

Hisoka looked down at her from the corner of his eye as he smiled. “It sounds like quite a mess.”

Mindy nuzzled into him and sighed. “I guess, but they’re good kids. Killua actually is pretty mature for his age; he’s one of Illumi’s brothers isn’t he? They must have all had to grow up pretty fast.”

Hisoka chuckled in mirth. “Well, what do you expect from a family of assassins? It’s in their blood.”

“Sure, but come on, Killua’s so talented, who knows what he could grow up to be?”

“Perhaps, but at the end of the day, he’s a Zoldyck and that won’t change. Then again, I have no such responsibilities.” Hisoka shrugged cheerfully. “I try not to get involved unless it suits me; Illumi is his brother after all, and it’d be a nuisance to upset him and get in the way.”

Mindy’s face took on a thoughtful frown. “He sounds pretty overprotective from what you’ve told me...still, I guess it’s at least coming from good intentions. I never had a little brother; I wonder if I’d be that protective...”

“It’s all about perspective my dear.”

“Yeah, yeah. I hope things work out for them.” Mindy yawned and leaned in closer. “It sounds nice to have a big brother who worries about you…”

“Aren’t I enough for companionship?”

Mindy looked up uncertainly at Hisoka’s expectant smile. “Well….you do...uh, well….”

“I see.”

She smiled apologetically and kissed his lips softly. “How about you put me to bed? You make me tired enough just being yourself.”

Hisoka ran a hand up and down her back and pressed his lips against her jaw, dragging his teeth down the sensitive skin teasingly with a little smirk.

“Well, don’t you have a way with words? I suppose I’ll just have to comply.”

“Don’t force yourself.” Mindy said dully as she was pushed down on her back; Hisoka made quick work of her pants, but this time he managed not to scratch her thighs, something he relished in doing to make her gasp and wince. She stared down at him almost questioningly as he lightly thumbed her nipple through her pajama shirt until it was taut under the thin fabric.

“Hisoka?”

“What will get you to sleep? Are you happy just being rutted into like an animal in heat?” Hisoka murmured as he slipped a couple fingers down into her panties. “You’re wet enough for it.”

Mindy grasped at his shoulders and rocked her hips against his hand, making his fingers slick as they slid up and down her folds experimentally.

“Don’t tease...I’m tired.”

“Have it your way.” Hisoka smirked slightly and pulled himself out of his pants and rubbed his half hard cock, not bothering to take off anything else. “Spread your legs a bit more-that’s it, wider. Good girl.”

Mindy breathed in sharply as he slammed inside her fully with one thrust; she swore she could feel the flushed head of his erection stab her cervix and slapped a hand over her mouth to keep from screaming.

“Feel free to scream if you really need to; it’ll tire you out more.” Hisoka nipped the shell of her ear and dug his hands into her hips to make her move back against him; he moaned softly and chuckled as she turned her face away in embarrassment. “Why are you being shy now? You were so bold earlier and now you won’t look at me?”

“Hisoka, please…”

Mindy managed to pry her eyes open and look up at him; she never could feel completely at ease under his gaze, no matter how many times they were together. It was one of the reasons she preferred positions where she couldn’t see his smug smile or his shining eyes as he helped himself to the sight of her whimpering and begging for more.

“Please what?”

“Cum inside me.” Mindy inhaled and gulped, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and spreading herself even wider; she pushed back along with his own steady pace.

“Like this?”

Hisoka’s thrusts were now shallow in favor of rocking back and forth inside her so quickly, they could both hear how wet she was. If Mindy had more shame she might have found this mortifying, but at the moment all she could do was hang on and let him do as he pleased; she was too exhausted to keep up, all she could contribute was her increasingly high pitched moans and biting and sucking different parts of his neck and shoulders as he yanked her body to press against his.

“Harder….oh god, keep going!” Mindy sobbed and raked her short nails down his back to leave trails of red lines. “Harder, harder!”

“So needy. Is that really all you want?” Hisoka asked conversationally enough as he huffed into her ear. “Do you want me to make it impossible for you to get up in the morning?”

“I want you to fill me up, please!” Mindy gasped softly as she could feel his pace pick up; she knew he was close, and at this point she was close to passing out. But she knew she couldn’t just yet; she had to work for her sleep now. Hisoka wouldn’t let up until he was certain she was desperate and on the verge of begging. “I just-I like feeling it drip out....”

Hisoka smiled; she could barely bring herself to get the words out above a whisper.

“Well then, who am I to say no?”

Mindy sighed in relief as he rammed himself into her a few more times and stop abruptly; he let out a low, almost keening moan as he pulled out and she could feel something slowly running down her thighs and onto the bed.

Then they both heard his phone buzzing from the nightstand.

“Oh my, what is it now?” Hisoka sighed and wiped himself clean with the corner of the thinner blanket; he picked up his phone and answered with an almost clipped greeting. Mindy smiled a bit to herself; she knew Hisoka hated to be interrupted when he was enjoying his high.

“It seems my associate had made a blunder and needs me to help.” Hisoka told her after the short conversation. “Are you okay here alone?”

“Yeah…” Mindy was perturbed; Hisoka never assumed she needed him to stick around. Ever since the party he had been acting a bit off.

 _"Maybe what Aro said really did strike a cord...n_ _ah, that’s dumb.”_ Mindy thought with a chuckle as she sank back into the mattress; she enjoyed the seeping wetness between her thighs with an almost bashful smile despite Hisoka already have left. If she wasn’t tired before, she was now.

_“At the most, Aro annoyed him; he probably just wants to relax and doesn’t want to deal with work.”_

About two blocks from the motel room, Hisoka had walking down the secluded sidewalk, smiling broadly and twirling a card in his hand.

Dealing with the boy was as easy and quick as it could have been, which was no surprise, but Hisoka found it a bit funny how quickly he was already forgetting his face, even as he recalled how his throat had been slit nearly down to the bone.

Hisoka had refrained from cutting out his vocal cords to make the kill look less conspicuous; it seems he wouldn’t be the one who was so forgettable now. To his credit, Hisoka he could still see somewhat clearly the boy's blue eyes darken in fear and rage, cursing him, warning him to stay away from his friend. It was so futile, but his fire made him a bit excited all the same.

“Mindy doesn’t need friends obstacles like you.” Hisoka had muttered loftily as soon as he was sure Aro was done bleeding out. For good measure, he had stolen a few things of value around the apartment only to dispose of them accordingly. There was nothing to trace it back to him, and he even had an alibi.

Hisoka had been waiting outside the motel for just a few minutes, waiting for his friend to return.

“Hisoka, finished so soon?”

“Good evening. I must say, that look suits you~”

The blank expression looked ridiculous on the fake Hisoka’s painted face; the impostor made quick work of pulling out his needles and before the real Hisoka’s amused gaze, the red hair shot out and turned black, the eyes turned wide and unblinking, and Illumi’s profile stood before him in a matter of seconds.

“That really is quite fun to witness.”

“I had a hard time holding this disguise.” Illumi mumbled with barely a hint of irritation; it was only due to so much time spent in the other man’s presence that Hisoka was able to detect it. “Is he dead?”

“As a door nail!” Hisoka grinned. “So?”

“She didn’t suspect a thing.”

“Are you really that dense? Come now, don’t be bashful.” Hisoka walked forward slowly with hooded eyes. “Wasn’t she a fun toy?”

“You have no shame.”

“Is this coming from the man walking about in public with stained pants?”

Illumi looked down. “Oh, it seems I didn’t clean it off as well as I thought.”

“Well, don’t hold back on the details~ Wasn’t she cute? Did you notice how she clenches up on purpose just when you’re just about to-”

“She waited up for you, so she probably will do so again. You should stop pestering me and go back.”

“Don’t sound so happy for me.”

“I wasn’t.”

Hisoka clicked his tongue and crossed his arms with an irritatingly smug smirk. “I bet you didn’t even try to make an excuse to go straight to sleep. You just went along with it and let instincts take over, didn’t you?”

“It wasn’t unpleasant.” Illumi held out his hand. “My payment and Killua’s whereabouts. I didn’t learn anything talking with her.”

“You need to push the issue more; Mindy doesn’t always get subtlety.” Hisoka tossed over a rolled up bundle of bills. “On a different topic, I don't know where he is.”

“Pardon?”

“I might have fibbed to get you more motivated.”

Illumi just sigh through a thin mouth. “Why am I not surprised?”

“Are you certain she didn’t notice anything stange?”

“She was easy to fool and to bed.”

“Oh, is someone mad they have to go home? Or maybe you're just upset I lied about your beloved little brother?”

Hisoka knew Mindy would never be interested in his acquaintance; she had no qualms about him wanting to add people, at the most she brushed him off, but she would just be too put off by Illumi’s aura and disposition. Still, Illumi had passed the checklist and Hisoka knew he would never attempt to step out of line. He simply didn’t care to and he knew the consequences were more trouble than they were worth.

“Did you tape it like I asked?”

“I forgot.”

“Did you also forget that my fee included the video?”

Illumi handed back over a few of the bills; he may have looked at Hisoka”s disgruntled frown in amusement. “My mistake.”

He turned on his heel and began to walk away, wallet a bit more full and he himself feeling strangely satisfied despite Hisoka’s glossing over what he really required his skills for.

“Illumi.”

“Hm?”

“Mindy is mine. Please don’t forget that tidbit if you ever wish to play with her again.”

Illumi blinked slowly. “I don’t wish to involve myself in your affairs. You paid for my services; this was business.”

“Was it business when you asked her if she’d be alright alone?”

Illumi cocked his head to the side. “Is that not something you would have said? Wow. You must be her rock bottom, huh?”

“Well, you go back to stalking your little brother; I have my own business to attend to. I wonder if she’s still wet or if she cleaned up yet.”

The tip of Hisoka’s tongue slowly wet his lips as he eyed Illumi’s passive gaze. “If she’s waiting for me still...I guess you weren’t enough for her.”

“More accurately, she thinks _you_ weren’t.” Illumi corrected helpfully. “She must be disappointed; perhaps I won’t even need to be the one to seek her out. If you know what I mean.”

Hisoka’s eyes narrowed as he smile turned strained. “Was that your idea of a joke or an insult?”

“Yes.”

Hisoka glared as illumi disappeared into the night.

_“He's off the list….”_


	42. Alternate Ending: Pt. 2

“It’s Mindy right?”

“Uh, yeah.” Mindy scratched the side of her head. “So, you’re the guy who helped Hisoka prank call me?”

“Yes.”

“Ah…”

Hisoka’s gaze slid between Illumi and Mindy, who was sitting on the edge of the bed; the hotel had them pretty high up, so her feet were able to kick back and forth slightly as she plucked at the hem of her skirt. It was plain to see how nervous she was; Illumi on the other hand was sitting ramrod straight on the armchair, staring at her openly and seemingly unaware of how his unwavering gaze was unnerving her.

 _“It’s not natural for someone to be that still.”_ Mindy gulped; Illumi had been sitting in front of her for a time now, and he hadn’t so much as shifted his feet. He might have blinked once.

It was hilarious in Hisoka’s opinion, but he knew if they were going to get the fun started, Mindy needed to be relaxed.

He had made her aware of his bit of trickery involving his associate and after some fists sent to his face, she had calmed down and told him with gritted teeth and flushed cheeks that if he really wanted to include someone else, he had better get her permission next time around; despite her willingness to try something different, and that they had already been intimate, Mindy had been fidgeting and awkward ever since Illumi stepped into the room.

 _“At least she’s finally over that boy. One down~”_ Hisoka thought with no shortage of satisfaction; the news of Aro had reached her fairly quickly.

In fact, Onna had been the one to find his body and call Mindy herself, voice oddly thick and trembling as she told her the details. At first Mindy insisted on going back across the continent to attend the funeral, but Hisoka convinced her (after many blow ups and tears) that her friend would never want her to bear witness to the state his body was left in. Besides, by the time she got there, the funeral would be days over.

And so, after the initial waves and bouts of sadness and anger, Mindy had been mostly in a state of disbelief; she never thought something like that would happen, not in a safe, reasonably secure area like that. But then, where didn’t people get hurt?

Currently, Mindy had just stopped mentioning Aro all together, though every now and then she would stare off at nothing in particular, eyes unblinking; and she would smile, just a tiny bit.

Hisoka never asked her to explain why or to elaborate on how she felt about the ordeal; he didn’t care and in his opinion, she’d do better to forget completely. Which is why he felt a change of pace was in order, something to shake things up.

 _“But we won’t get anywhere if she can’t loosen up.”_ Hisoka smirked lightly. _“Literally…”_

“So, um, have you seen Killua lately?” Mindy ventured; she knew that one of the best ways to get to know someone was to get them talking about the things they were interested in.

“Not in sometime. That will change.”

“Oh. Yeah, I’m sure he….misses you too…” Mindy offered a half smile. _“Sorry Killua…”_

Illumi’s lips quirked up ever so slightly. “Of course. We are family after all.”

“So, you have a pretty big family huh? That sounds nice. Hisoka mentions you’re, um, all in the same line of work…”

“Yes.”

“And how’s...business?”

“Very well.”

“Right.” Mindy nodded, still smiling awkwardly. _“Okay, this isn’t gonna work. Illumi’s creeping me the hell out; and I sleep with Hisoka. I mean, does he even want to be here or did he just get talked into it? Maybe Hisoka’s bribing him with info on Killua again...aw, poor kid...”_

“Mindy, why on earth are you so stiff? I think the two of you are already pretty well acquainted.” Hisoka chimed in to break the silence.

“Don’t remind me.”

“Hisoka, does your toy not approve of this?”

“No, no, she’s just a bit nervous.” Hisoka stood up and strolled over to Mindy, who glared up at him almost warily as he kneeled behind her on the mattress. She stiffened even more as his hands came to her shoulders, kneading them a bit as he leaned in to kiss her ear.

“Hisoka!” Mindy pushed his face away and turned to Illumi. “Hey Illumi...do even want to do this? I mean, did Hisoka make you or bribe you or something?”

“He wouldn’t be able to ‘make’ me do anything.”

Mindy giggled briefly. “I figured, but...if you’re having second thoughts-”

“Illumi, you’re making her feel unwanted.” Hisoka said with mock disapproval. “Why don’t you at least attempt to make her comfy? Blink once if you understand what that means.”

Illumi stood up rigidly and it made Mindy wonder if he was ever relaxed; she blinked as he gestured for Hisoka to move and then pointed to the bed after locking eyes with her.

“Huh?”

“Lie down on your stomach.”

Mindy did so immediately. “Should I-ow!”

She yelped as chilled hands began rubbing hard at her back; Mindy tried to scrambled up into a sitting position, but Illumi forced her down.

“I am trying to help you relax. Just be still and don’t be too loud.”

“That hurt!” Mindy protested, but obeyed anyway; she really didn’t feel like pissing him off.

“It hurt because your back and shoulders are carrying a lot of tension; have you ever seen a doctor? I’m feeling a lot of lumps.” Illumi remarked as he rolled his knuckles into her lower back; Mindy whimpered in pain, body shaking as she tried to stand the sharp bruising sensation.

“It sounds like you’re enjoying it my dear.” Hisoka chuckled and lied down next to her, smirking at her twisted expression.

“Fuck you.” she ground out as Illumi pressed a bundle of muscles in the center of her shoulders; the massage was becoming a bit less painful as Illumi worked, but it was still a weird sensation.

“She really likes it when you pinch the back of her neck by the way.”

“Oh?”

“Shut up Hisoka!”

“Illumi’s pretty good huh? It helps he knows all the pressure points on the human body. Just think, with one well placed touch he could make you pass out; though, I plan on achieving that result in a much more pleasant way…”

Mindy felt a shiver go down her spine as Illumi’s fingers trailed over her nape; she turned her head to look over at him nervously. His expression was the same, but there was an odd gentleness to his touch.

“Strip and lay on your back.”

Hisoka rolled his eyes. “And you say I’m demanding.”

“I’m simply telling her what I want her to do.”

“There are other ways to make your desires plain.”

“Such as?”

“Hey!”

Hisoka had taken the liberty of yanking down Mindy’s skirt and panties; she had worn a it for the occasion on Hisoka’s request, though she didn’t think he would nearly rip it off along with her top.

“Oh, no bra?”

“It’s not like I really need it.” Mindy mumbled; she glanced over at Illumi and her eyes grew wide as saucers. She yanked the sheet to cover herself, nearly pulling it hard enough to send both of them off the bed.

“Why in the world…?” Hisoka raised an eyebrow. “Mindy, what’s with the sudden modesty?”

“I…” Mindy bunched up the sheets to cover her chest. “They’re…”

“What?”

“Small…and then there’s that gash in my side...”

Hisoka let out a sudden laugh. “My dear, we both already know what you look like naked and believe me, we wouldn’t be here if we didn’t approve.” his eyes roamed over her blanketed figure, the way her fists bunched up the soft cloth, and her downcast eyes and stubborn frown hinted with self conscious anxiety. “Illumi, you agree yes?”

“Hisoka, if she’s going to be this prudish-”

“Prudish?! Well excuse me, you’re the one who wouldn’t know sex appeal if it hit you over the head sideways.” Mindy stuck out her tongue.

Hisoka hid his smirk behind a hand. “She has a point you know; you haven’t done a thing to make her more at ease.”

Illumi sighed shortly and crawled over to Mindy until she was laying down on her back; she whimpered softly as he pulled down the sheet, not daring to meet his gaze.

“That’s it, play with her a bit.” Hisoka leaned over and pinched an exposed nipple, making Mindy keen and then blush as Illumi’s eyebrows rose slightly. “She’s so easy to get wet; the sooner you turn her on, the sooner we get to the best part.”

“I’m aware.” Illumi ran a hand down her chest and stomach; to her mortification, he poked it and his finger sunk into her skin. “It is like a pudding cup.”

“Right? Just wait until you see it jiggle, it’s just the cutest thing~”

“This isn’t helping.”

“How about this?”

Mindy bit her lip as Illumi began sucking at her right breast, lips making a soft pop as he drew back; with an almost curious look, his hand began rubbing at her exposed folds.

“It’s already so slick.” Illumi commented lightly as he began using one finger to rub at her clit. “I wonder how sensitive this gets...”

“Ah!” Mindy threw her head back against Hisoka’s chest; he was sitting behind her, making her lean up against him as his hands reached around to toy with her nipples. She could feel him laughing as he bit her neck over and over again while Illumi inserted three fingers at once; Mindy jolted at the sudden burn and clawed at Hisoka’s thighs.

“See Illumi?” Hisoka breathed, mouth open just so in a giddy smile as he lightly squeezed her neck and made Mindy look straight at their companion. “Isn’t this face just adorable? I know it makes me worked up; is she tightening up around your fingers? ”

“Yes.” Illumi pulled them out slowly and slammed them back in; Mindy tried to close her legs, but he forced one thigh to the side as he continued pumping. “Is she doing it on purpose?”

Hisoka rubbed his growing bulge against Mindy’s backside. “Ask her for yourself.”

Mindy turned her face away once more as Illumi’s eyes went to her face; he was leaning forward, lips centimeters away from her own. Despite the position and the increasingly faster pace of his fingers, his expression was only mildly intrigued; Mindy seriously wondered if he was even getting aroused, that is, until she chanced a peek at his own slightly parted legs.

“See my dear, you’re putting on a good show for us.”

To his surprise, Mindy released herself from Hisoka’s grasp and knelt down to grip the waistband of Illumi’s pants; she looked up at him and tugged lightly.

“I want to suck on it…”

Illumi wordlessly nodded and Hisoka beamed as Mindy took the base of the erection in her hand and started mouthing the tip, slowly taking in the unfamiliar cock deeper and deeper into her mouth as she felt the tips of Hisoka’s nails scrap the back of her thighs.

Mindy raised her eyes to look up at Illumi; his breathing was steady, but now it was a bit audible. If that wasn’t enough to convince her of his arousal, then the hand gripping the back of her head roughly and forcing her to take the whole length down her throat was a more clear indication.

“My, my, someone’s excited. I do hope you’re not forgetting our prior rules Illumi.”

Illumi ignored Hisoka, fingers tightening painfully in Mindy’s hair as he fucked her mouth; she was moaning and choking slightly, eyes clenched tight as she tried to get accustomed to it. Thankfully, Illumi pulled her away after a few more minutes, the head of his erection flushed pink and a bead of cum mixed with Mindy’s spit.

“I-Illumi…” Mindy gasped for air; he raised her chin up to make him look at her.

“Next time use more tongue.”

Before Mindy could make a dry comment, she felt Hisoka’s nails almost pierce her skin; she yelped and looked behind her.

“I don’t recall saying there’d be a next time.” Hisoka said softly; there was a clear warning to his light words as he yanked Mindy back up to his chest while she was still struggling to breathe. “Mindy is still my toy and I’ll decide who gets to play with her and when.”

“Fair enough.” Illumi shrugged his shoulders. “And now?”

Hisoka’s little frown turned to a full blown grin. “Now?”

Mindy shrieked as Hisoka penetrated her in one harsh thrust; his hands were gripping the sides of her hips as he painstakingly rocked up and down.

“Now we start the real fun.”

Mindy felt her blood run cold as Illumi took off his shirt.

“What the hell?”

Illumi was as fit as Mindy expected, though his frame was leaner compared to Hisoka’s, not to mention his skin was pale in a way that made him look ill; but that wasn’t what made Mindy’s eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. There were old welts criss crossing all along his chest and stomach, faded nearly the same color as his skin.

“Well, I guess you’re not the only one with a blemish.” Hisoka told her cheerfully.

Mindy ignored him in favor of staring at Illumi in faint horror; were these the results of the famous Zoldyck training regime she had heard Hisoka and even Killua mention with the most displaced nonchalant tone?

“Where…?” Mindy began uncertainly; maybe this wasn’t exactly the time, but she really hadn’t expected to see that. Illumi on the other hand was completely unperturbed.

“I obtained these from a blunder on my part; I miscounted the lashes my grandfather gave me and passed out momentarily right in the middle of the exercise.” Illumi added. “I was supposed to withstand a certain amount to pass the test and keep track myself; it’s a tradition and I am the eldest son, so I in particular need to set an example for my siblings. I made it to 2,485. I was supposed to count to 3,000.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Mindy tried to smile but found herself averting her gaze to Illumi’s cold stare; did he even have enough emotion left in him to process what she was feeling?

He traced the healed over gash on her stomach. “No. You learned something from your mistake too, yes?”

“Besides, you should save your concern for yourself right now.” Hisoka interjected smoothly.

“Huh?” Mindy turned her head sideways to see him.  
“Illumi, proceed while Mindy’s still wet enough; I’m growing so impatient…” Hisoka sighed and fondled one of her breasts, hips still moving slowly to make his cock rub her walls in short strokes.

Illumi knelt down right in front of Mindy silently; he was guiding his own swollen member to her-

“Wait!” Mindy thrashed in Hisoka’s embrace. “This-you can’t!”

“Do I have to wait my turn?” Illumi inquired absently. “How long will you be taking Hisoka?”

“Don’t pay her any mind, Mindy’s just being paranoid.” Hisoka pressed little kisses all over her neck and shoulders while his thumb rubbed her clit. She tried to get off him, but the way he was pressing directly onto it made her knees buckle and shake.

“Hisoka, please, don’t-!”

“Sh, sh, don’t be frightened. Illumi, why don’t you give her a kiss to calm her down?” Hisoka suggested helpfully. “You won’t be able to go in an inch if she’s too tense.”

“Very well.”

Mindy’s body was still trembling as Illumi grabbed her chin and pressed his lips to hers. To her surprise, the kiss wasn’t rough; on the contrary, he almost seemed hesitant; for someone who was so enthusiastic about claiming her mouth in other ways, a little kiss didn’t seem to be as easy a feat for Illumi to perform. And Mindy wasn’t the only one to notice.

“Illumi, is Mindy your first woman? Don’t be embarrassed, you can tell us.” Hisoka purred as he watched the other man nip and suck at the bottom of Mindy’s ear, subtly ignoring him. “I bet you were done in seconds the first time, right? I do hope you can put on more of a performance this time-”

“Hisoka, shut up.” Mindy said sternly.

“What did I do?”

“You want me to write a list?”

Illumi paused. “You could write a novel.”

“See, he gets it.” Mindy smiled almost shyly at him. “Um...I’m sorry by the way.”

Illumi’s face betrayed nothing, but he did tilt his head to the side slightly in silent puzzlement; if it wasn’t for the thousand yard, dead eyed stare, it might have been more cute.

“If I was your first. I’m sure you didn’t want it to be with-”

“I don’t care.” Illumi lined himself up to her entrance; Mindy was nearly hyperventilating as he managed to fit the tip inside.

“Illumi, don’t!” Mindy sucked in a breath and her hands found purchase on his broad shoulders; she fell into his chest as he pushed in deeper. Hisoka let out a sharp gasp behind her as the little space was filled up to the brim.

“I’m only halfway in.” Illumi muttered.

“Please…” Mindy felt tears prick the corners of her eyes as she sobbed breathlessly, trying to force herself to just calm down. “Stop, it’s hurting me…”

“I don’t think you mean that.” Hisoka hissed in pleasure as Mindy clenched down involuntarily; she was as tight as a vice and he could feel Illumi’s hard length smashed up against his own. “Mindy, bear with it a bit longer. You’ll see...it feels so good to be broken.”

Mindy shook her head rapidly. “Hisoka, it won’t fit any more dammit!”

“Enough.”

Illumi slammed up, the last couple of inches stretching her to the brim as she let out a piercing wail; he could feel her nails cut into his skin. Mindy was shaking violently now, trying desperately to cope with the throbbing ache and slight sting as she let herself cry.

Hisoka was petting her hair with the fondest smile. “Good girl...just for that scream, I’ll let you have a moment to adjust.”

Mindy wanted to slap his hand away as she cried, tears falling down her chin and onto Illumi’s chest; her face was resting in his shoulder. She knew he couldn’t care less and most likely had no clue how to legitimately comfort another human being, but she needed something for balance and he was the one in front of her.

 _“How can someone who’s such a crybaby be so powerful?”_ Illumi asked himself as Mindy continued to cling to him. _“She can barely stand the sight of my scars; it’s laughable really.”_

“Move…”

Illumi blinked slowly; tears were still streaming down her cheeks as her warm arms were looped around his neck and Hisoka was smirking with the most smug anticipation as he nudged his hips forward. Mindy let out a high pitched yelp that was more than enough proof that Illumi needn’t hold himself back for a second longer.

“Illumi...Hisoka…”

“Yes? You have to be more clear.” Hisoka chided as he dug his nails into her waist.

“Fuck me...I want both of you to fuck me…”

Illumi began matching his thrust with Hisoka, who smiling like some demonic entity as he joined his associate until Mindy was clawing thin red lines down Illumi’s back, pussy so tight and soaked they could almost feel it dripping.

“This is amazing…” Mindy panted and sighed as she tried to push back. “I’m so close-”

“Illumi, pull out.” Hisoka said lightly.

“I’m almost finished myself.” Illumi didn’t even sound winded, but there was just a trifle of huskiness in his voice behind the nonchalant monotone; he was moving more and more rapidly. The way his cock was brushing against Mindy’s clit was making her head spin and her moans were getting louder and louder and-

“I said now.”

Mindy sobbed roughly as Hisoka forced her back into him; Illumi was yanked out of her and looked only slightly perturbed at the abrupt interruption.

“Hisoka, what the hell?!” Mindy bounced slightly on the mattress as she was thrown down on her back without Hisoka even taking himself out. If he had tossed her the other way around, and if she had managed to hit the headboard, her skull might have cracked.

“Illumi knows the rules.” Hisoka glared at his friend through a tight lipped smile. “I suggest if you really do want there to be a next time, you don’t slip up again.”

Mindy’s head tilted back to get a look at Illumi; once again, his demeanor was as mild as ever. She looked back up at Hisoka questioningly, ignoring how exposed she was spread eagle and legs on either side of his waist. The pleasure she had felt was replaced with anxiety and irritation.

“What rule? I didn’t hear anything about rules.” she said accusingly.

“I take you first.” Hisoka said simply. “The second rule is that you’re not allowed to cum from anything he does.”

Mindy didn’t know whether to roll her eyes or be legitimately worried; regardless of what she might have been feeling, Hisoka continued to pummel her insides with abandon, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he moaned and sighed loudly, gaze flickering over to Illumi now and then with a glint of unwarranted (in Mindy’s opinion) triumph.

Despite her lingering apprehension, Mindy couldn’t deny how close she felt to her orgasm just from Hisoka’s lightest touch against her clit or the way her toes were curling as her legs were curled around his waist, heels digging into the small of his back as she screamed into his shoulder.

Hisoka pulled his wet fingers away, bucking his hips and finally finding his own release as Mindy lay there limp and panting. His smirk stretched the width of his face as he observed Illumi’s blatant line of sight.

“Ready for round two? While this may not be as exciting as a match, but it seems to leave you just as tired...” Hisoka hoisted Mindy up by her arms, placing her against his chest; her head lolled to the side as she struggled to steady herself, cringing inwardly as she felt Hisoka’s cum leaking out onto the sheets and stain her inner thighs.

All that was forgotten once she realized Illumi was positioning himself in front of her while Hisoka grabbed under her knees and held open her legs wide.

“Hisoka, stop! Come on, don’t!” Mindy tried to close her legs as she pulled and tugged at Hisoka’s wrists; Illumi was looking on in mild interest, erection surprisingly still pretty hard and poised to enter her. “Don’t look!” she whined and turned away with a grimace. “Dammit…”

“If you still have the energy to be so feisty, it seems me and Illumi haven’t done our job sufficiently.” Hisoka said, his grip not loosening in the slightest; if Mindy really did want to stop, she could have easily yanked his hands away. At the moment she was simply struggling with her embarrassment, caught between maintaining her stiff upper lip and letting it quiver as she attempted to escape their prying gazes; and it was a futile attempt at that.

“I don’t see why you’re being so bashful.” Hisoka drawled as he snuck a hand down between her breasts and rubbed at her stomach. “After all, we’ve established we couldn’t care less about how you look.”

“Gee thanks.” Mindy ground out. “And stop poking it!”

“I might have fibbed….I at least find you and your squirming deliciously tempting. I may even have to take another turn once our guest has departed.” Hisoka said with a shaky sigh. “We can get out the special toys…”

“Those are just your cards!”

“Yes.”

“Are you two done?”

Mindy caught Illumi’s gaze and immediately turned her eyes downward. “Hisoka, at least let me close my legs a bit okay? This is weird, he doesn’t need to see-!”

“Mindy, may I direct your attention to our guest?”

Mindy looked up at Hisoka. “What?”

“Look at Illumi.”

“Hisoka-”

“Do it or I’ll let him join in later with his needles. I hear acupuncture is great for relieving tension.”

Mindy huffed and bit her lip as she met those dull eyes; cold, chilling, and unwavering.

“Don’t you see it?” Hisoka licked the rim of her ear as he pulled her legs apart even farther. “Even you aren’t that unobservant my dear.”

Mindy restrained herself from slamming the back of her head into Hisoka’s chin and settled for a mildly annoyed but sincerely confused frown.

“I-ah! H-hey!”

Illumi had apparently grown impatient as he slide inside her with one stroke; it was easy and painless seeing as how Mindy was still wet from earlier, but the abrupt aggressiveness caught her off guard. Her eyes kept flitting between meeting his own and looking anywhere else.

“She’s still so tight.”

Mindy moaned and felt her face flush. Apparently Hisoka was also growing more impatient; he grabbed her chin and forced her to look at Illumi.

“Isn’t she? The only thing tighter is her grip when she choking someone…”

“By someone, he means himself.” Mindy narrowed her eyes up at the grinning man. “And you asked for it.”

“My dear, I begged for it.” Hisoka licked his lips and Mindy’s shoulders drew up as she balked. “But you’re getting distracted. Don’t you want him? You dressed up so pretty for tonight; I saw you having trouble deciding which skirt to wear.”

The words were stuck once more in her throat and Hisoka clicked his tongue.

“Mindy, look at him.”

 _“What the hell is Hisoka getting at? He’s just staring at me like I’m crazy...what a laugh…”_ Mindy’s eyes widened a fraction as Illumi’s hands found purchase on her hips and he pushed against her, digging his fingers in her skin and grinding up harshly. As she kept herself from looking away, the realization dawned on her. _“Wait, he’s.…”_

Hisoka chuckled, reading her like a book. “See? Not that I’m surprised myself.”

“Stop chatting and focus.” Illumi drawled and pitched his hips forward, hair sliding over his shoulders and tickling Mindy’s skin; she moaned weakly as he used his hands to hold her in place. Her fingers trembling from the iron tight grasp she had on his shoulders; Mindy almost worried about bruising him, (forgetting the fact he had probably endured much harsher injuries) but she needed to find something to hold onto. Illumi’s thrusts were easily distinguishable from Hisoka’s; while the later was rough, fast, and sometimes teasing and slow, Illumi’s was steady and just intense; if Mindy’s didn’t know better, she would assume she was being taken by one of those machines built to consistently and brutally penetrate over and over and over again.

But there was something else that caught her attention.

“He hasn’t taken his eyes off you since we got here...I thought he was going to rip my arm off when I interrupted his fun.” Hisoka nipped her nape and dug his nails into her thighs. “Of course, you wouldn’t know by looking at that blank slate of a face…”

“Illumi!” Mindy shrieked as he went in deep enough to hurt; it was as if he was punishing her for Hisoka’s slight.

“Oh!” Hisoka said suddenly; he leaned down to speak softly into Mindy’s ear, low enough so Illumi would need to strain his hearing. “Mindy, don’t forget~”

“Forget?” Illumi repeated slowly.

“Say what I told you to earlier.” Hisoka smiled with childish excitement. “Go on, it’ll really get his blood racing, and we both know damn well you can take it twice as hard as this…”

“Hisoka,” Illumi slowed ever so slightly. “What in the world-?”

“Illumi.”

Mindy’s voice was soft but clearly demanding his attention; Illumi tore his suspicious gaze from Hisoka and looked down at her curiously as she wrapped her arms around him so she could reach up to whisper herself into his ear.

“Illumi, please,” Mindy swallowed and ducked her head into his neck, not able to stand him seeing her face. “...fuck a baby into me.”

“............”

Once again Illumi was as still as a statue, staring at her with wide owl like eyes; Hisoka’s shoulders were shaking in repressed mirth, a wicked gleam in his eye.

 _“Oh shit.”_ Mindy buried her face farther into Illumi’s shoulder. _“Dammit, I should’ve known Hisoka would feed me some kind of bullshit! Why did I ever agree to this? I’m in a threeway sandwiched between with a ghost and a clown.”_

She decided to break the silence. “Illumi? Hey, I was just-”

“I get it now.”

Mindy cursed and gasped in pain as Illumi’s teeth bit down on her neck; his lips pursed around the little chunk of skin in his mouth, moving it between his teeth until it left a perfectly round mark. He pulled back, but kept his lips hovering just over her skin; Mindy shivered as his tongue lapped the light bruise.

“Hold on.”

“Ah-ahhh!”

“Don’t fall.”

If Mindy wasn’t mistaken, there was the tiniest touch of smugness in his voice.

“Illumi, oh god!” she cried out as he raised her up so she almost had to sit on his thighs; her weight caused her to sink down even farther in his member, and Mindy could hear the squelching of her pussy as it took him in as far as he could go, violently, relentlessly slamming inside.

Hisoka was still holding apart her thighs with a smile of delighted wonder as he watched his stoic friend move like an animal in heat. He was fully aware Illumi had his own twistedly unorthodox penchants, but even he didn’t foresee how worked up one line would get him. That unflappable expression now had a slightly furrowed brow and the soft panting as he rutted Mindy; she was just managing to muffle her screams into the crook of Illumi’s neck.

“See my dear? You had nothing to worry about; Illumi may come off like he’d be a dead fish, but you’ve brought him to this state. Once again, you don’t disappoint!” Hisoka said with glee; Mindy couldn’t even reply she was so tired.

Or perhaps she didn’t hear him; she was whimpering into Illumi’s ear, begging rapidly as she hung on for dear life.

Hisoka could feel his cock twitch as he watched. “That’s it Illumi….isn’t she just marvelous? She’s so soft inside isn’t she?”

“Outside too.” Illumi breathed shortly as he held Mindy tighter, his own hard stomach pressing into her’s; if she was coherent, Mindy might’ve had the shame to push him away. Instead she just wailed and scratched lines down the back of his neck.

Hisoka rubbed his spent member against Mindy’s backside. “Keep fucking her Illumi. Mindy, why don’t you give him a little more encouragement?” he smacked her ass and growled at the slowly reddening mark; he’d be damned if there wasn’t going to be a round three once Illumi left.

“Fuck me, fuck me, oh god, yes!” Mindy squealed and her fingers got tangled in Illumi’s hair as his thrusts were becoming more erratic. “Fuck a baby into me, please Illumi, please!”

“Ah!” The low gasp came from Illumi himself this time as his whole body stiffened and his hips jerked and seized up.

Hisoka let go of Mindy’s legs and they dropped to the sides along with her; he moved out of the way, thinking it would be funny for her to fall. To his surprise, Illumi fell with her, panting quietly as he rested his head on her chest; Mindy was lying prone and shuddered as he pulled out with an audible pop. Hisoka’s eyes narrowed as her fingers were combing tangles out of the long, fine hair that she had previously been yanking on.

“Well, don’t you two make a cute couple? Should I leave you alone to bask and cuddle or perhaps I can-?”

“Mindy.”

“H-huh?”

Illumi rose up, arm slung around her slowly rising and falling stomach; his dark eyes were as devoid as emotion as usual, but the corners of his lips were turned up just so.

“How many more times do you suppose we to need to do this until you’re expecting?”

“Expecting what?” Mindy asked blankly.

“Oh, I forgot, you’d have a hard time conceiving.” Illumi remembered; one of his fingers was making patterns on her stomach. “Well, no matter. I can take you to a competent physician; I’m certain they would be able to assist us. And then we’d need to get you on a more healthy diet and exercise regimen; after the birth, I could even teach you some of my family’s techniques. Our child would be put under the same training as I was, it seems only fitting for you to undergo it as well. At the least, i would expect you to stay out of the matter, as your prior reaction makes me suspect you’re not too accepting of our methods. I assure you, both our child and you will see their benefit in due time.”

Mindy turned to Hisoka. “What? And did you tell him I couldn’t have-?!”

“Illumi, just what are you saying? I’d like to hear this more clearly myself.” Hisoka’s face held no trace of playfulness as he stared down the assassin; Mindy briefly wished she could hide under the blanket as she felt a shiver go down her spine.

“Mindy is a prime candidate to give birth to a new heir for the Zoldycks. She’s powerful and a child we conceived would grow to become stronger than both of us. In addition, Killua seems partial to her; once he knows she’s taking residence with in our home and has become a member of the family, he will probably want to watch over her.” Illumi’s vapid smile grew as he petted Mindy’s stomach some more. “Yes, I’m sure he’d be excited at the prospect once he sees how well cared for Mindy will be; at the least, he would pay us visits far more often. I just hope he won’t try to steer our child in the wrong direction.”

Mindy stared. “You know, when you do start talking, it is the most disturbing fucking shit.”

“Pardon?”

Before Mindy could answer, she was pulled up roughly by Hisoka and hefted into his lap.

“Illumi, I think it’s time for you to go.”

“Ah, I forgot.” Illumi sat up. “Hisoka, will you lend me her for a bit?”

“Lend me?!”

“Mindy is at a critical time in her growth; I am not waiting several months and then some for her to have a brat and neglect her training.”

“But she would be able to train with my family and learn our techniques; if anything her progress would speed up. Surely you can amuse yourself with one of your other toys until then?”

“You’ve been violating the ground rules since this began and now you want to borrow Mindy for who knows how long? Do you plan on getting married? Should I send flowers or is an RSVP good for now?”

Illumi put a hand to his chin. “Oh yes, mother will probably insist on that….”

“Wait a minute goddammit!” Mindy interjected. “Hello, am I invisible here?!”

“Hm?”

“What?”

“Okay, you’re just a dick,” Mindy pointed at Hisoka and broke free of his hold; she sat in front of Illumi and inhaled. “And you: do you even hear yourself?! I mean, come on, you can’t be telling me you’re willing to have a baby with a stranger just so you can blackmail Killua into visiting and have a strong heir? This is **insane** ; we barely even know each other!”

Illumi seemed to mull Mindy’s words over to her relief; perhaps he wasn’t as delusional or crazy as she thought.

“I understand.”

Mindy smiled and sighed. “Good.”

“I must say, I didn’t expect you to take an issue with it, but I suppose it is...cute.”

“Uh, thanks.”

“We will have plenty of…” Illumi almost looked as though he was putting effort in trying to remember something. “Quality time before the baby arrives.”

“Exactly!” Mindy nodded quickly. “....wait, what?”

“It is only natural you’d want time for ourselves; helping to raise and train Killua alone was time consuming and he was disobedient to boot. A child of our own would take up even more time.”

Mindy’s jaw dropped. _“Is he even listening?!”_

“Yes, it is a big responsibility; if you insist on wanting to spend time with me, I guess it’s the least I can allow.” Illumi nodded and took his phone from the nightstand; he spent a second scrolling through his calendar. “My schedule is quite full this week, but perhaps next Tuesday-”

Mindy looked over at Hisoka, whose expression was as blank as her’s was unnerved; any other time she might have laughed, but at the moment she was brought out of her shock by a hand petting her hair stiffly.

“Yes, next Tuesday will work just fine. Was there anything in particular you wanted to do? I will try to play along as a courtesy, but please attempt not to choose an activity that’s too tedious or unnecessary.” Illumi informed her. “At some point in the day, we will also meet with my family for a meal. Keep in mind you should bring a dish of your own, but it will be checked for any lethal poisons first.”

“What?”

“Did you get my joke? My family and I are already immune to most lethal and non lethal poisons.” Illumi smiled blandly; then it fell. “But do bring a dish; you need to make a good first impression.”


	43. Alternate Ending: Pt. 3

“That’s enough.”

Hisoka snatched Mindy and dragged her over to his side of the bed.

“Hey, I’m still sore!” she protested and doubled over in pain, lower half aching at the sudden movement.

Illumi’s eyes narrowed. “Hisoka, I don’t believe this decision is entirely up to you.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Mindy said as she straightened up. “Illumi, there’s no way in hell I’m having a kid with you. Hisoka, go fuck yourself.”

“What did I do?”

“You’re acting like I’m your property. If I did want a kid, I wouldn’t care what you have to say about it or anyone else.” Mindy told him with a snarl as she snatched her shirt and tugged it over her head. “Look, this is too much. I’m taking a bath and hopefully I won’t drown myself to get away from you people.”

Mindy gathered her pjs and underwear, slamming the door closed behind her.

“That didn’t go as I expected.”

Hisoka watched with an idle smile as Illumi pulled on his shirt. “For you. Now, if you don’t mind-” he gestured toward the door.

“Tell me something Hisoka. Do you really not have feelings for her?”

Hisoka sneered. “I think that’s my line. You seem awfully attached to Mindy all of a sudden; it can’t just be because you want a way to get your brother to come home.”

“Impregnating her would kill two birds with one stone.” Illumi explained plainly.

“Oh?”

“Yes.”

“This is rich.” Hisoka laughed and ran a hand over his face. “Let me guess how this story will go; the cold hearted assassin meets a kind woman, finds himself attracted because she’s the first person to show him human kindness, etc. etc. I never would have guessed you would be suckered into such a cliche Illumi.” he snickered and pointed at Illumi’s still exposed length poking through the seam of his pants. “I guess she must have given you the time of your life, huh?”

Once Hisoka finished his spiel, he smirked bitterly and waited for the no nonsense retort. What he got instead was an unnaturally tight smile that stretched Illumi’s waxlike cheeks.

“Not projecting are we?”

“Well, look who’s got a sense of humor.” Hisoka frowned, eyes narrowed to slits as he observed his friend. “Illumi, I sincerely hope you’re not forgetting that Mindy is mine. I’ve had enough of these distractions getting in our way.”

Illumi nodded. “Fine. I am curious though; what would you do if she agreed?”

“Nothing at all.” Hisoka said. “The scenario you proposed just wouldn’t happen; she would never consider leaving my side.”

“Ah. So she loves you then? I would have never guessed from her interactions with you.”

“Shows what you know.” Hisoka stuck out his tongue, his sudden demeanor doing a 180.

“Well, then I have no reason to stay.” Illumi zipped his pants and made his way toward the door. “Oh, and by the way, would you mind relaying a message to Mindy for me?”

“What kind of message?”

“Nothing much. Just tell her if she ever does get sick of being your plaything, she can be mine anytime.”

Hisoka couldn’t decipher whether Illumi sincerely meant his offer or if he simply wanted to get under his associate’s skin.

“Hisoka? Is he gone?”

Mindy was lying down, body almost completely submerged in steaming water; Hisoka could clearly see the mark Illumi left on her neck. It would take days to disappear.

“Hisoka?”

He shed his own clothes and joined her in the bath.

“Hey, the water’s overflowing!” Mindy scrambled up, but Hisoka took her arms in his hands. He was pleased to note she didn’t try to cover her body in his presence.

“How sore are you?”

“Um…” Mindy began uncertainly; something was off. “I’m okay; I can walk and everything...”

“I see.” Hisoka released her arms.

At least Mindy thought that’s what he did until she tried to climb out of the too full tub, only to be tugged back down by invisible bonds gluing her arms to the sides of the rim.

“Hey!” she looked up at Hisoka questioningly; he wasn’t smiling.

“Did you wash yourself already?”

“Hiso-”

“Did you?”

“No.” Mindy answered; she didn’t think it wise to argue at this point in time, not with the tone he was taking with her. But she wasn’t so much fearful as she was bewildered; everything was fine just a minute ago, and Illumi had left. What was there for him to be sulking over?

Hisoka grabbed the rag on the shower rack and used a bar of soap to lather it; Mindy winced as he began cleaning her folds and hips roughly, rubbing her skin an even brighter shade of red than the nearly scalding water did.

Nonetheless, she remained silent; any idiot could gage Hisoka’s mood or even just see the sunken eyes and mouth drawn in a deep frown. Mindy prayed he would snap out of it; she really just wanted to fall asleep.

After a few more minutes of silently wiping and scrubbing off imaginary filth, Hisoka stopped and threw aside the rag, apparently satisfied as he released his Bungee Gum.

“On your knees my dear...good girl, do as you’re told…”

Mindy felt hot water slosh inside her as Hisoka spread her open with his fingers, one hand groping her ass. She relaxed on instinct as he entered her from behind, thrusting causing the water in the bath to flow over the rim and soak the tiled floor and the mat.

“What are you thinking of now?”

The question was unexpected and all Mindy could focus on was the sharp bruising and hot sensation of Hisoka’s hard length working her open all over again.

“I-I-”

“Wrong answer.”

Mindy breathed in a mouthful of water as Hisoka forced her head down under the bubbles; she convulsed and tried to bring herself up all the while feeling gulp after gulp of hot water blocking her way to oxygen.

All the while Hisoka was still slamming into her brutally, fingers digging into the back of her head and gripping her hair at the roots to keep her from surfacing. Her struggling was making him hard as a rock and he found himself reaching his orgasms just seconds before Mindy was going to stop breathing.

Once her hair was released, Mindy broke through the surface, hanging over the side of the tub as water was coughed up and flowed from her nose. Hisoka watched her choke and sputter, softening cock still half buried inside her.

“What-what the fuck is wrong with-?!” Mindy’s own words were cut off as she coughed and hacked violently, hands gripping the tub’s rim for balance.

“You were thinking of him, weren’t you?”

Mindy’s chest was heaving as she tried to give him the most threatening glare she could muster; Hisoka just continued to stare at her imperviously, slipping out of her and rising to dry himself off with one of the towels.

“You’re a fucking bastard.” Mindy’s eyes were tearing up from the burning in her throat and her rubbed raw skin.

Hisoka didn’t spare her a glance as he pulled on his clothes and left the bathroom. She crawled out of the bathtub and curled up on top of the soaked bath mat, sobbing inaudibly into her arms.

_“He’s crazy...I know that, I know he’s crazy.”_

A louder sob escaped her and Mindy clamped her hands over her mouth as her body trembled. She looked and saw her own towel still folded on the sink with her clothes; with some effort, she stood up on unsteady legs and carefully put on each article of clothing.

_“I know...I’m so stupid. He’s going to kill me one day; why did I even leave that fucking hell hole if I was just gonna end up here?”_

Mindy let the tears fall from her eyes as she towel dried her hair until it was only a bit damp; she berated herself again and again in her mind, steeling her nerves for what she was about to do.

 _“I knew this would have to end eventually.”_ Mindy breathed in and out, throat still feeling a bit clogged despite her access to air. _“I almost died. I could have died and would he care?”_

The answer couldn’t be more clear.

“Mindy, are you ready to apologize?”

She ignored Hisoka lounging on the bed; he was under the covers and held up one corner with a sly smile in her direction. It was as if nothing had happened; perhaps it didn’t in his world.

_“No, to him it was just justified.”_

Mindy almost smiled.

“Come here, you’ve had a long day.” Hisoka beckoned her with a finger. “You were barely paying me any attention earlier, but even so, you know I won’t neglect you.”

Mindy didn’t look at him as she took out her trusted duffel bag and began taking the few clothes she bothered to take along every trip and stuffed them inside along with her phone, it’s charger, and her wallet that already contained all her cards and cash. She always kept her Hunter license in the side pocket if they were staying somewhere; otherwise, it would be in her pants pocket or her wallet. She surveyed the room, avoiding Hisoka’s questioning eyes, and decided there was nothing else worth taking along.

“Are you going out? I already called room service.”

“I’m leaving.”

Hisoka sighed. “This again?”

“Don’t worry, there won’t be a repeat incident. I won’t waste your time anymore.” Mindy slipped on her battered sneakers without socks and threw her bag over her shoulder; she tossed her key card on the bed as an afterthought.

“Mindy-”

“I’d try to explain why I’m doing this, but you wouldn’t understand. You’ll never-” Mindy paused and offered him a half smile as she opened the hotel door. “Well, good luck.”

“Mindy-”

She shut the door moderately firmly, but the sound of the lock clicking into place almost seemed to echo in the room.

Hisoka stayed in the bed and stared at the closed door for a few moments until it opened up again, Mindy’s head peeking around the frame.

“You should cancel the room service now or you’ll get charged.”

And then she was gone.

Hisoka smiled to himself slowly and picked up the phone.

  
  
  
  
  


It seemed that as time went by, Illumi found himself becoming more and more aware of Mindy’s existence.

When Hisoka first began speaking of her, it was in offhanded anecdotes or a brief mentioning, usually over drinks or in the lapses of silence on assignments. Illumi bore it with patient disinterest; as long as Hisoka followed through on his end of their dealings or didn’t go on for too long, he was content to let the information pass through one ear and out the other.

He supposed it was inevitable he would make her acquaintance at some point, what with Hisoka’s penchant for imposing himself on others regardless of their level of comfort or interest in his affairs. The day Illumi had heard Mindy’s confused and panicked tone over the prank phone call, his first impulse was to chuckle a bit afterward; her voice trembled uncertainly, but firmly despite her fear. It reminded him a bit of Killua.

Then he had found out his dearest brother and his friend’s toy were already acquainted as well.

At the time Illumi was somewhat irked, yet intrigued at the possibilities that could come from the fact. After all, whatever their relationship might be, Mindy was an ally to Hisoka, and Hisoka was, at least for the most part, an ally to him. The notion that Illumi could somehow use this to his advantage in the future was carefully filed away into the back of his mind until that day, months and months after hearing that concerned whimper, he was reintroduced to Mindy in a manner he himself would have never suggested or agreed to, not without a bribe of information on Killua from his barely trusted associate.

That being said, Illumi knew it must seem peculiar he would agree to not only another night of passion with a perfect stranger who he had no real interest in, but a night in the presence of his fair weather comrade. No bribe or favor was brought up. Hisoka had called him with his usual lofty, sneaking tone and proposed sharing one of his favorite playthings; he had graciously reconsidered Illumi at Mindy’s consent and decided it would be the height of exciting if someone equal to their own strength would join in on their fun.

Illumi had said yes; he summed it up to curiosity. After all, she had never even seen his actual face; he couldn’t help wonder what her expressions, her reactions would be to being claimed and taken by an unfamiliar man despite their previous tryst.

She did have a cute face at least. Cute, round, almost childlike; she begged and pleaded and gave into him so easily, and did exactly as she was told, because she trusted him to pleasure her.

But Illumi knew the truth. He wasn’t her regular bed mate. He could have knocked her out and ended her advances, god knows the real Hisoka would likely pull a stunt like that for no discernable reason; he could have even killed her if he so desired. Right then and there, Illumi could have pierced her skin and flesh with one of his needles and she would have never even suspected.

He could have, but he chose to take her instead.

So yes, despite his disinterest in Mindy’s life, goals, personality, and the like, Illumi was curious to see more of that. The inspiration of making her bear him a child was an unforeseen plus to Illumi’s own agenda, though he really should have know Hisoka would sulk and throw a tantrum at the idea of being deprived of his entertainment.

_“But then, she also refused. And here I thought she would be more obedient; how troublesome.”_

Illumi walked down the nearly isolated sidewalk, still feeling a bit cheated; the whole evening had led to nothing and his plan had gone up in smoke for no clear reason.

Objectively speaking, he could see why Killua held a fondness for Mindy; she was reasonably pleasant when not being bothered. He had recognized her attempts to make him feel welcome in the bedroom despite Hisoka’s pestering; and then there was that submissive streak she seemed to try so hard to repress. What could he have done if he had the time to tap into that impulse a bit more, to coax it to the surface? That being said, her strength was no doubt her most desirable trait.

A trait that would have mostly likely been passed down in their child.

_“I would prefer Killua to take his place as the heir, but a child with our talent and power raised by the same methods has the potential to become the next in line.”_

And then an odd thought passed through Illumi’s mind that made him stop in his tracks briefly, back even more ramrod straight than normal; he was trying to picture the child’s eyes.

_“How unusual.”_

Illumi kept walking; there really was no real need to ponder something so trivial. What did it matter whether their child has his own wide, pitch black ones or ones that were a soft, dark brown that glistened ever so slightly when she was underneath him and begging-

 _“Hm. Better keep that in check.”_ Illumi scanned the area; there were only a few people out that late, so it was easy to spot Mindy trudging along just a few feet in the distance.

“Speak of the devil.”

Mindy’s shoulders squared as she found herself within a foot of him; despite the absence of bright lights, she had heard his voice clearly and could make out his profile well enough. “You gotta be kiddin’ me…”

“It was a figure of speech.”

“Whatever.” Mindy shook her head and kept walking, albeit a touch faster than before. At the moment all she wanted to do was get as far away from that town as possible.

 _“But where am I gonna go? I can’t go back to the city...not when Aro…”_ Mindy felt tears prick her eyes once more and blinked her eyes once hard. _“I just can’t go back, not now. Maybe I can go stay with Wing and Zushi; they did say I could stay with them if I ever wanted and it’d only be temporary....”_

“Why are you crying?”

“Illumi, please leave me alone.” Mindy cleared her throat and sniffed. “I need to get moving.”

“Is Hisoka after you?”

“...I don’t think so, but you can’t be too careful with him.” Mindy smiled ruefully; her expression turned suspicious when she looked him in the eyes. “You gonna say anything?”

“Why would I?” Illumi asked.

Mindy laughed humorlessly.  “I guess you wouldn’t.”

“You seem upset. And your movements are odd.” Illumi commented bluntly. “Did he force himself on you?”

“Wow, you couldn’t have asked that in a better way? Well, that wasn’t what happened.”

“You smell like it.”

Mindy grimaced. “Well, it happened but that part was fine, it was what he did a second later…” she ran a hand through her hair and adjusted the duffle bag on her shoulder. “He almost drowned me during...well, you get the picture. Nothing like another near death experience to wake you up.”

“I see.”

“Yeah, so I’m heading out.” Mindy waved her hand limply. “See you.”

“What about my offer?”

Mindy paused. “About the baby and all that? Come on, you can’t expect me to say yes, right? I know you and your family have your own...ways, but even you wouldn’t want to be stuck with someone you barely knew, let alone have a kid with them. Kids change everything.”

“I find the idea pleasant; but if you insist on refusing, I won’t beg.”

“I didn’t ask you to!’

Illumi eyed her candidly, gaze sliding over her figure and stopping at her stomach. Mindy’s midsection already had a sort of protruding shape; to someone not paying attention, it might look as if she was just a couple months into a pregnancy. Illumi found himself picturing her with a fully round belly, momentarily focused on that alone instead of Mindy’s hand waving rapidly in his face to get his attention.

Perhaps Hisoka wasn’t exaggerating when he pointed out his own alleged issues.

“I suppose even you have your limits though.” Illumi commented almost to himself. “I know this isn’t the first time he’s threatened you before.”

“No...it’s not.” Mindy said shortly.

Illumi took a few steps forward, the sound of his shoes against the cold concrete was oddly loud in the deserted street. Mindy blinked and looked up at him with a mixture of wary suspicion and fear, one hand gripping the strap of her bag tightly to her chest.

“You have sense to be wary of me, but you stayed around Hisoka for this long.” Illumi could have been chuckling.

Mindy frowned. “So what? Are you saying I’m stupid?”

“Not really, but I wouldn’t say there’s not a bit of truth in that.”

She looked ready to argue, but just as quickly her frown dropped and her hands fell limply at her sides.

“I know. Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think I haven’t thought about how stupid I am having anything at all to do with him?” Mindy felt the tears come back and cursed herself, ducking her head to avoid Illumi’s gaze. “I know. I always knew what I was to Hisoka, but I still let myself...I cared about him. I tried so hard to be happy and still have him in my life, because I didn’t want to let him go. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. But I can’t take it anymore…”

“Mindy.”

“What?” she said quietly; there was nothing he could say that would bring her any lower than she already felt. Even now, knowing she had made the right decision to go and start her life over, Mindy felt like she had still lost.

Years were wasted on trying to build her life back up while balancing her feelings; to Hisoka, none of that mattered. She was a toy. She was property. She was a tool, a source of entertainment, not a person.

 _“I really am stupid. I knew all these things, but I was still so ignorant. No wonder he picked me out from the start._ ” Mindy wiped her face with her sleeve and adjusted her bag; Illumi was just watching her idly, arms at his sides and feet planted firmly to the sidewalk. _“What does he want anyway? Why do I keep getting involved with weirdos?”_

Well, excluding Aro; the thought of him made Mindy even more sick. Here he was, a perfectly kind, stable, attractive guy and she just couldn’t find it in herself to return his feelings. Mindy couldn’t even bring herself to think about him half the time; if she did, she would start bawling, and then Hisoka would just turn a blind eye and ignore it. He never did like any of her friends.

_“He doesn’t like anyone who gets in his way. Even me; if I ever become a problem for him, why would he ever hesitate to get rid of me or leave me behind?”_

Mindy definitely knew part of the reason why she stayed; in reality, who else would ever put her on such a pedestal? Hisoka had been a part of her life since the beginning of her new start and she had hoped, deep down in her heart that he would always be. She neglected to keep in mind that it was a shaky pedestal, one that would tip over as soon as Hisoka lost interest.

On his part, she had conditions that needed to be met. On her part, there was no such thing.

“It seems unfair, doesn’t it? Then again, Hisoka doesn’t play fair; but you of course knew that.” Illumi said casually as he took another step forward. “What will you do now?”

“Don’t know.”

“I see.”

Mindy smiled. “Well, it was nice meeting ya. Tell Killua I said hi if you see him.”

“I’m sure he’d like to see you now.”

“Huh?” Mindy’s sad face turned puzzled. “Now?”

“Currently he’s back home on Kukuroo Mountain. I was going to head back myself to visit and see him.”

“Oh…”

“The trip would take a few days. It would go by faster with company.”

Mindy was considering his offer uncertainly; it would be nice to see a friendly face. Not to mention, she was genuinely curious about the Zoldycks and where they lived; Killua and Gon had explained in great detail the trials that had to g be accomplished just to enter the estate’s front yard and here Mindy was getting a formal invitation inside. It was something most people would pay millions for, if only at a chance at one of the family’s members bounties.

“Illumi...I’m gonna be honest with you since I’m sure Hisoka already filled you in on some details based on what you said earlier.” Mindy sighed. “I would...like a family. But I don’t want to be part of yours in anyway.”

“You seem to have me confused with Hisoka. You see, I can take no for an answer; I’m not going to waste time waiting on someone and pulling schemes to make things work in my favor. The biggest reason I asked you was because you were the only woman I’ve been with; it only seemed logical considering all the variables that I make a proposal.”

“No pun intended?”

“Quite.” Illumi brought a hand to Mindy’s cheek, smiling at the way she flinched. “Not that a change of mind on your part isn’t welcome.”

“Thanks, but no thanks.”

Mindy was just about to pull back when she felt a sharp prick.

“I know. That’s why I won’t deceive or bide my time making you see things my way.”

Illumi’s other hand was at the back of her head, a small needle in hand and halfway through to her brain; Mindy tried to move her arms, legs, anything, but it was no good. She was paralyzed to spot, feeling her vision spot and blur as she desperately tried to think of a way out of her situation.

“Just keep still. This won’t hurt a bit.”

“Illumi….please…”

He watched unmoved as she began crying, wide eyes staring into his own beseechingly for some small sign of mercy.

“You can’t...please, I-”

“I already told you, I don’t pull tricks. I take what I want; but don’t look so scared.” Illumi smiled vapidly. “You’ll be very content soon; you just need to be a bit less stubborn is all. Didn’t you always want a family? Didn’t you want some place to belong?”

Mindy’s sight was losing focus slowly as the needle began taking effect; Illumi was concentrating now, hand in place. A thumb stroked wiped away a stray tear; her sadness, her fear, her anger were all growing fainter and fainter. She was losing a bit of herself.

 _“I wanted...a place to belong...not be trapped…”_ Mindy thought in some faraway corner of her mind that was fading faster and faster as she stood frozen in place. _“Is this what it was all for? All I wanted was…......I just wanted to start over…Wing….Zushi...someone, please….”_

But no one was coming.

_“Onna….Aro…”_

The world faded to black.

_“...Hisoka…”_

And then she was gone.

_“Hisoka….”_

  
  
  
  
  


“Illumi? What took you?”

“Apologies. It took a bit longer for her to succumb; she is stronger than I anticipated. Usually it works on people immediately.”

Illumi came in as Hisoka held open the door; he was carrying Mindy, cradling her almost. Hisoka raised an eyebrow as his friend set her down gently on the bed.

“Did you knock her out?”

“No, she exhausted herself trying to fight it.”

In truth, Illumi sounded pleased.

“Good. So, what exactly are the effects? Will they meet my conditions?” Hisoka sounded excited; he had wanted to see it for himself, but he knew Mindy would probably sense him and flee. It was bad enough he had to compromise to get help from Illumi, but to be left out once more in matters concerning his favorite toy?

“Yes. It was simple really; all the needle will do is make her a tad more compliant. She’s already is somewhat on the submissive side.” Illumi explained; the deal was to make Mindy mindset more suited to their plans. Her held back compromising and pushover nature would be exploited with a stab of Illumi’s needle. No more fuss, no more stubborn, immediate refusals.

“Illumi, did you make her boring?” Hisoka looked displeased as he folded his arms. “When will you learn the chase is what makes the hunt all the more stimulating?”

“I didn’t make her a complete doormat; from now on, she’s just going to be a bit more focused on you and more apt to my offer. Isn’t that what you asked?”

“And your half of the deal will be fulfilled then?” Hisoka asked none too pleased.

“She does want a family. This time around, it won’t be as hard to convince her to see things my way.”

Control. All it took was just a little bit of control.

It was so easy to manipulate people, but Illumi wasn’t one for tricks and long plans. He wanted more immediate results, hence why he thought his methods much more efficient than Hisoka’s habit of playing with his food.

“Great.” Hisoka huffed. “I’ll have to go easy on her for nearly a year.”

“Don’t be so ungrateful; she’ll still be able to fight again.”

“Ungrateful? I basically had no choice but to seek your help.” Hisoka pouted and made his way to sit next to Mindy, still passed out cold and tear tracks shining on her ruddy cheeks. Even now all he wanted to do was make her get up and do something. This was so boring and Illumi alone was being irritatingly smug about his plan working.

“If it wasn’t for me, she’d be gone for good and you’d never get your fight.”

“True. I suppose I should be more thankful, but if she has a child, she’ll be so busy.” Hisoka pulled another face; that wasn’t even the worst part. Mindy would not only be more open to his and Illumi’s desires, but what about others?

_“Then again, if she’s living in that estate, she’ll be expected to stay there with the child; in fact, Mindy will probably prefer staying as close to her baby as possible...at least her progress won’t be any more stalled than it will already be….”_

“I wouldn’t assume you to be familiar with the concept of familial responsibility.” Illumi said lightly. “I and my father would oversee much of our child’s training. Mindy may join or be on stand by; I’m not sure how she will react to that. She seems very against our traditions…”

“She would be.” Hisoka recalled the few tidbits he had managed to pry out of her. “And she won’t remember anything?”

“That would be ridiculous. She’ll only forget that she ran off and had my needle inserted.”

“Oh. So she’ll remember her friends…”

“They would seek her out anyway; my brother and Gon know her after all, and they would think it suspicious she didn’t recall meeting them.”

“Good point.” Hisoka conceded. _“Those cards...they said I would have a rival and that I would have to make sacrifices to get what I want….what a funny world we live in…”_

“And before you get any ideas, you should know I can sense when my needles are extracted.”

“Illumi, how can you be so callous? I’d never go back on my word.” Hisoka simperered.

“Hmph. Anyway-”

A soft moan brought their attention to Mindy, whose eyes had just opened; Hisoka bent over her with a wide grin.

“Hisoka?” Mindy’s voice sounded clogged and she coughed to clear her throat.

“You’re finally awake.”

“Wow, my head hurts. Did I drink before we had sex?”

“A bit. Don’t tell me you forgot everything we just did?” Hisoka pulled her into his lap and tweaked her nose.

Mindy slapped his hand away. “I didn’t forget. Hey Illumi?”

“Yes?”

“Did Hisoka fuck me after I passed out? I feel sore there too.”

“You were out cold soon after we finished our talk.” Illumi scooted over on the bed and put a hand to her forehead. “You do feel a bit feverish. You better not have gotten me ill.”

“Isn’t he just charming?” Hisoka drawled with no shortage of sarcasm.

Mindy sat up and rubbed her hand across her head. “I feel like I didn’t get any sleep at all….my stomach feels weird too…”

“No wonder. You haven’t eaten in five minutes.” Hisoka smirked as Mindy swatted the back of his head. “Where’s your sense of humor?”

“Up your ass.”

Hisoka’s eyes widened in delight. “I do love that mouth of yours.”

Illumi contemplated them, bickering and close together on the bed; it was as if nothing at all had transpired.

All three of them turned their heads to the door as they heard a light knock.

“Room service!” a man’s voice called out.

“Ah, I nearly forgot.” Hisoka strolled over to the door to open it; the man smiled politely, dressed in the hotel’s uniform and wheeling in a cart of covered food. Illumi glanced over at Mindy as Hisoka took the tray and plates; she was beaming and bouncing up and down on the bed, happy as could be.

“Thank you Hisoka!” Mindy gushed and took her own plate with a steaming, perfectly garnished steak with a side of mashed potatoes. There were a couple more dishes, one with a slice of fluffy strawberry shortcake and a fresh, green salad.

“Hey, where’s your guys’ food?” Mindy paused and looked at the tray.

“I’m not hungry.”

“I want to eat you.”

“Okay…” Mindy ignored Hisoka and turned to Illumi. “You sure you don’t want any?” she held out a piece of her steak on a fork to him. “They cooked it pretty good.”

“You need to learn to be less fussy.”

“You’re welcome.” Mindy said wryly. “Geez, what is it with your family and not being able to get common courtesy?”

“You can’t be coddling our child this way.”

“Newsflash, I never agreed to that! And since when was sharing food ‘coddling’?”

“Don’t mind her Illumi, Mindy has always been too lenient with children. You should see how she babies Killua when he and Gon cross paths with her.” Hisoka poked Mindy’s cheek. “If you want a child to fawn over, maybe you should take Illumi’s offer into serious consideration.”

Mindy set down her plate on the cart. “No.”

“Why?” Illumi asked.

“I don’t want to put my kid through that kind of training. It’s abuse, that’s what it is.”

“Abuse? Mindy, our training methods have been practiced for generations; I find it insulting you think of it so unfavorably when you don’t know a thing about my family other than a few vague tidbits.”

“Well sorry, but I don’t want my kid to be electrocuted!”

“Killua never complained.” Illumi held back a smile at Mindy’s wavering glare. “He may not be so keen on following our line of work, but not once has he ever objected to anything else.”

“And think, you’d never have to worry about them being hurt or kidnapped or harmed in anyway!” Hisoka chimed in as he handed Mindy the cake. “Not to mention, you’d both be taken care of financially.”

This time, it would only take a little convincing. It would take a bit more emphasis on the more sensible points and some appealing to the positive aspects of the matter; but it would work.

Mindy pushed away the fork Hisoka offered. “Are you trying to bribe me to start a family with cake?”

“I’m offering you a good deal. But if you like cake, I can provide that as well.”

“...I can’t tell if he’s trying to be funny…” Mindy whispered to Hisoka out of the corner of her mouth.

“You can weigh the pros and cons yourself.” Illumi continued. “May I add, once you officially go through some training and give birth, you will be considered one of us. A good enough reason if you ask me.”

In all of Mindy’s fantasies of starting her own family, the man’s face was a blank silhouette; she certainly never pictured a duplicate of a ghost with stringy black hair. Still, if their resources could really make it so she’d be able to conceive….and Killua, aside from not wanting to continue with his family’s occupation, seemed perfectly untroubled by what he had to go through in order to attain his skills.

“Illumi….do you really think a doctor could help me get pregnant?”

“Well, that’s part of the process.” Hisoka interjected with a lopsided smirk.

“Yes.” Illumi said to both of them. “That being said, Hisoka would have to refrain from releasing inside you for some time after we see one. This child will be ours alone and I’m not taking any chances.”

“Hell no.” Mindy chuckled a bit, the tension leaving her somewhat at the ridiculous idea of Hisoka breeding.

“I take offense to that.”

“What, you want a kid?” Mindy raised an eyebrow.

“Not at all. You know, your child would be very strong, wouldn’t they? Perhaps when they grow up big and strong, I could challenge-”

“NO.”

“Mindy-”

“Fuck. No.”

“Illumi, can’t you-?”

Mindy and Hisoka both fell silent as they looked over at the third party. Illumi’s wide eyes were black as coal and seemed shadowed over in cold anger as his fingers twitched and his bloodlust raged.

“Illumi...hey, calm down, I’m sure Hisoka was just kidding!” Mindy turned to Hisoka with a helpless look. “Hisoka, tell him!”

Hisoka didn’t seem to have heard her; he was currently smiling blissfully, hands curling up around the sheets as his breathing became shallow.

“Lay a hand on our child….and you will suffer the consequences.” Illumi rasped; to Mindy’s horror the lights began flickering like a circuit had been damaged. She shivered; either this swanky hotels’ heater was a piece of crap or Illumi’s aura was causing the room to ice over as he locked eyes with the man across from him.

“Illumi, don’t get so uptight….you know what that look does to me.”

“Hisoka! Tell him you were just joking!”

Hisoka barely contained a moan as his heavy lidded gaze slide over to Mindy’s own harsh scowl. “Not you too. I’m still pretty sensitive from earlier after all; you know, I wonder if your offspring will be even stronger than either of you….”

Mindy grabbed him by the collar and shook him in panic. “Goddammit Hisoka, I’ll kill you myself if you ever touch our kid!”

She knew he was just saying that partially to get her more riled up, but since Illumi already looked close to murdering him anyway.

At least he was.

“You consent to the plan then?”

Mindy let go of Hisoka and turned to look at Illumi, whose expression was as neutral as ever once more. She shuddered at the idea that he was even more of a moodswinger than Hisoka. Illumi crawled over to her as she sat frozen in confusion.

“You agree to having a child with me?”

“I-” Mindy cut herself off. “Well, I...I was thinking about it.”

“If you need a bit more time to consider, then go on. But I expect an answer sooner than later. Hisoka, have your fun with her now; once Mindy makes up her mind, we’ll be getting started right away.”

Mindy glared as Illumi left the room swiftly; Hisoka even looked a tiny bit miffed.

“Geez, you think this guy would at least pretend to have some tact...is he serious about that marriage bit too?” Mindy asked Hisoka.

“I would say so, to make matters more official at the least.” Hisoka pulled Mindy back down in a bear hug. “What a dilemma; you’ll be out of commission for practically a year and I won’t have anyway to relieve myself…”

“It’s called jerking off.”

“I know! You can always use that smart mouth to pleasure me.” Hisoka pinched her cheek and pulled, making the skin an irritated bright red.

Mindy smacked his hand. “So, you’re cool with all this? You don’t mind the wait?”

“I can amuse myself in other ways. Besides, you will be training with the Zoldycks.” Hisoka pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Grow stronger for me while you’re at it, hm? You wouldn’t want to disappoint me, would you?”

“It’s not all about you!”


	44. Alternate Ending: Pt.4

Mindy’s orientation into the Zoldyck family was not an easy one.

The biggest hurdle had to be earning the approval of Kikyo, the mother-in-law from hell; she must have spent half a year alone interrogating Mindy on every and any aspect she could find to question. The sessions slowly escalated to smaller, darker, and more sensory deprived spaces as the weeks came and went; they started out in a small concrete walled room, not unlike a police station questioning room, with stone walls, a lamp, two chairs and a table between them.

It was the oddest thing to see her interrogator wearing a frilly gown instead of an officer uniform, but the humor was soon lost on Mindy as the sessions began. The questions started off simply enough; Kikyo inquired about her age, weight, height, financial history, medical history, blood type, social circle, family history, (that was short) past sexual partners, (she lied and said none) current skill set, and criminal record.

“Have you ever killed a person?”

“....no.”

“Hm….”

And then Kikyo would jot down note after note; Mindy suspected there was still a file cabinet on her somewhere in that mansion.

The latest cell had been about the size of a closet, bare, pitch black, and soundproof; the only thing that got Mindy through the sensory deprivation was meditation. Of course, that would soon make her think of her friends and then the situation would seem all that more hopeless and in vain.

Wing and Zushi had no idea where she was. Mindy had to cut off ties from all her previous relationships; the Zoldycks wasn’t keen on the idea of the populace knowing of a possible new addition to their clan. Secrecy was a must and they wanted to take every measure to keep such information private.

Mindy had asked Hisoka to at least let them know she was safe; she had hoped they could pass the message on to Onna, who Mindy hadn’t been able to contact as quite as much before her captivity.

Onna seemed to disappear into thin air after Aro’s death and while she had sent Mindy letters or called her now and then, she slowly grew more distant as time passed.

Mindy wondered if Hisoka kept his promise. but she highly doubted it. He never did approve of them; her only relief was that Aro was dead and wouldn’t have to worry about her.

And so, she tried to empty her mind and ceased attempting to keep track of the minutes that went by; she would try to sleep most of the time, but the room was so devoid of any light, she could hardly tell when she was awake or asleep.

The plan was to test Mindy’s loyalty; Kikyo would buzz in on an intercom that made her sharp voice echo throughout the tiny cell. She would ask Mindy question after question about Illumi, about the family; the idea was to crack her and get her to say what Kikyo wanted to hear.

After all, she did already know the answers, so it would be that much more tempting to just tell all; there were times Kikyo would adopt a sugary sweet tone, promising Mindy would no longer have to see things that she knew weren’t there in the darkness, she would be able to come outside and have something other than molded bread and dirty water; she could leave this place in one piece. All she had to do was speak up and then admit she would never see Illumi again.

At first Mindy would lie and say the opposite of everything Kikyo asked, defiantly, wishing there was a camera she could see so she could point her middle finger in that direction.

Then she just stopped talking; the visions and shapes and sounds she thought were real were her only company. Perhaps they were real and Kikyo was playing a recording to drive her insane, but she would purposely indulge in them to block out the matriarch’s screaming.

It seemed to go on for so long and Mindy began to wonder whether anyone knew she was there; maybe Kikyo kidnapped her and hid her away just to torment the girl who dared think she was good enough to breed with her eldest son. Or maybe the rest of the family did know and simply stopped caring. Mindy wasn’t sure how much power Kikyo had over her brood and her husband until the last day of confinement; an unfamiliar voice came over the speakers in the middle of the interrogation; it was deep and stern and it shook Mindy to the core.

“Enough.”

Kikyo’s voice was a bit soft, as if she had been startled. “I’m not done with her; she needs to prove-”

“By now they could have already given us a grandchild; Mindy still needs to pass my tests and train for our techniques.”

“I’ve barely had any time!”

“It’s been nearly a year. How much more time do you want to stall this process?” Silva asked coldly.

“Stall? Stall?!” Kikyo’s voice was piercing. “That woman will never-!”

“Mother, that’s enough.”

“Illumi...”

Mindy’s eyes flew open. _“So he did know.”_

“Illumi, don’t you care about your mother’s peace of mind? This woman, she just comes out of nowhere and you want to-I don’t care how strong she is, she could never bear you a worthy heir! For god’s sake, she’d never even killed someone!”

Silva’s voice cut through the intercom. “She has potential and has yet to break; we need to test how far her power can go and whether she can withstand becoming one of our family. I believe her allegiance is with Illumi and the sooner we put her to work, the sooner they can produce-”

**“I won’t accept this!”**

Kikyo was becoming hysterical; Mindy shook slightly. Freedom was so near, but would she really be let go? How much longer would she have to endure this?

“This is ridiculous; Illumi, I absolutely forbid-”

“Mother, if you insist on keeping my fiance locked away, father and I will take her out by force.”

“B-but, I only have you and our family’s best interests in mind!”

“I know what is in my best interests. Let her out.”

“Oh Illumi…” she sobbed and laughed softly. “I’ve never heard you sound so commanding...but please, you need to see reason-”

“Kikyo. Now.” Silva spoke roughly this time. “Shut up and do as you’re told; if you’re so worried, you should set a better example of a wife for our daughter-in-law.”

Mindy felt tears run down her own face as she heard Kikyo sob angrily into her hand; or perhaps it was a napkin. She was still in a daze as Illumi pulled her up to her numb legs, half carrying her to their area of the estate as Kikyo wailed into her hands.

Silva’s tests was a different story; tough, unyielding, and dead serious about making a Zoldyck of her.

He spent hours every day sparring and making her improve her fighting style to better suit their’s. At the end of each day, Mindy was left barely able to stand; she slept for maybe an hour a night, had time for a five minute meal (with small doses of poison to build up her immunity) and then went straight back to Silva.

Still, on the whole, he was far more welcoming and confident in his son’s decision. He was also considerate enough to do some prior research on boxing and tried to show Mindy ways to improve on her established techniques. Some days it was almost fun, particularly the few times she had to spar with Zeno; while he was still quite powerful, the older man was far more laid back than his son-in-law and insisted on being called ‘Grandpa’. Maha mostly kept to himself, occasionally sitting in on the training sessions, but only providing a brief nod or a slow shake of his head depending on what Mindy did.

Illumi wasn’t allowed to be involved in Mindy’s screening just yet; this was solely for the rest of the family’s benefit and evaluation.

Then there was Milluki, who only mumbled absently in her presence and was holed up in his room almost all the time; Kalluto greeted her respectfully enough, but hadn’t said anything else; he seemed content to stay in the background with Kikyo as she turned up her nose and sneered if Mindy so much as came within a foot of her. Mindy doubted she would be asking her to call her ‘mom’ any time soon.

Then the day came where she was passing Kikyo on the way from the baby’s nursery; a guard accompanied her, and was in the middle of informing her that they would be stationed at the room once the baby was born. Surveillance cameras would also be installed. It was supposedly for the future heir’s safety, but Mindy knew part of it was that Kikyo didn’t want her alone with her own child.

On that day, her suspicions were confirmed as her mother-in-law gave her a long winded speech/scolding about what was to be expected of her. It ended with Kalluto being gestured to come forward with a large box; inside was a traditional white dress, fitted for her size and with a hairpin Kikyo had worn at her own wedding. There was also a brief note threatening her if she ever proved unworthy of Illumi, but she decided to bypass it in favor of being relieved.

Despite the insanity of it all, a small part of Mindy felt a bit envious of Illumi; she wondered how her life might have turned out if her mother was just a little bit more thoughtful of how her future would be affected, or if she had chosen to be Mindy’s protector, not dependant.

But they say the grass is always greener on the other side; Kikyo was proof enough of how a twisted maternal instinct could turn your children into robots. Mindy resolved to be better than both of them.

Hisoka didn’t show up to the wedding despite receiving an invitation; Illumi had actually told Mindy that his friend was allowed passage to the estate so he could visit her, though he was permitted to stay away from their child. She honestly doubted Hisoka would want to see them anyway, but precautions weren’t unwelcome.

The ceremony was small and mostly a somber occasion; if it wasn’t for the family’s private officiant or the many layered cake (each layer had a different, small dose of poison), a stranger might be very confused as to what was happening. Silva and Kikyo sat together, him consoling her as Illumi signed the documents and took Mindy’s hands; Milluki and Kalluto looked utterly disinterested, though the youngest did better at looking as though he was paying attention. Zeno and Maha were smiling and chatting in the back about plans for the future.

Killua had shown up (displeased at having his mother bolt over and barrage him with questions) smiling as he talked with Gon, who had never actually been to a wedding himself. He refused to attend if he couldn’t bring his friend.

Even so, he wasn’t happy about the wedding; he couldn’t fathom why Mindy was going through with it, but then again, he would be glad to have a family member who was close to normal and he’d be lying if he didn’t like the sound of being an uncle. He hoped he could provide a better influence than his family had on him.

But there was no sign of Hisoka until later that night; Illumi had left Mindy to their room, directly across from the nursery, and told her he would be back in about a week after his mission. Mindy was halfway through undressing, fingers fumbling with the seemingly dozens of buttons when she saw Hisoka perched on the window sill, eyeing her appreciatively and offering to help with the rest.

She woke up the next morning, dress folded on a chair and blankets pulled to her chin to cover her nakedness, to find Hisoka long gone; they had never gotten around to talking about the ceremony or her torture or her training, but it was unlikely Hisoka would have wanted to listen. She knew part of him was grudgingly accepting of this arrangement, seeing the subsequent grooming of her power to be the only upside.

Illumi did in fact return a week later, the family’s own doctor in tow to examine her; after a month, he produced a vial of medicine that was supposed to make her temporarily fertile. Illumi took it to her at night, administered the injection himself into her bloodstream, and proceeded to spend the next several days periodically, methodically taking her to bed.

It wasn’t even another month that Mindy felt her stomach weigh a bit heavier than usual; as time went by, it kept growing and growing, rounded to the size of a small melon in the course of nearly a year. And then after months of preparing, nausea, milk leaking from her now swollen and sore breasts, cramping, defecating issues, mood swings, painful contractions, and many other discomforts television never seems to address, Mindy awoke after an hours long labor to find this little creature with a squashed, red face and dark eyes tucked into her waiting arms.

She had come to the conclusion that long ago after her family had left her, a piece of her heart had gone with them; there was something deep down inside that wouldn’t allow her to truly be able to love another person again. Not Hisoka, Wing, Zushi, Aro, Onna, not even herself; especially herself.

Mindy truly believed it until that day when Illumi squeezed her shoulder briefly, as if on accident,  and handed her their child who still screaming bloody murder and thrashing about in her hold.

She wept openly and kissed his oddly shaped head, inwardly begging whoever might be listening that she would never lose him.

**Five Months Later:**

“Tolluo, are you asleep?” Mindy whispered and peered down into the crib at the seemingly peaceful baby; she had read that it was around this time infants could be weaned from night time feedings, but what the books didn’t say was that Tolluo seemed to have inherited her appetite. Milk wad the only thing that would get him to go back to sleep, aside from needing to be held or changed.

 _“Or when he wants to play with his needles…”_ Mindy looked at the somewhat dull tipped needles Illumi had provided as toys; she almost laughed until she realized he was dead serious thinking Tolluo might show his aptitude for manipulation (she hoped he was wrong in every way the word could be taken) and it was made clear Zoldyck children were trained at birth.

Mindy was just thankful Illumi had her digest only tiny amounts of poison for the breast milk; what was the point of building up Tolluo and her immunity if it would just kill her or him anyway?

Aside from that, Illumi had also insisted on a new diet more suitable for her pregnancy and her new training regimen. The servants did do the majority of the housework, but every now and then Mindy liked to cook in her free time and Illumi would only allow her to make so many things and provide specific ingredients. Come to think of it, Mindy couldn’t think of one aspect of her life Illumi didn’t have some say in.

Her diet, clothes, bedtime (she rolled her eyes every night at nine o’clock sharp; Tolluo was just going to wake her up seven times anyway) and just her overall schedule was now entirely up to him; Silva had backed down and let Illumi take partial responsibility for her training, though neither of them had the time to always oversee her, so they would switch off on playing mentor. Between the two, Illumi was definitely much more rigid; if she didn’t do a move or technique exactly as she should, she would have to do it over and over again until it was just right for him. This also transferred to the bedroom, though those times were few and far inbetween; Mindy rarely spent the night with her husband, who seemed to prefer simply lying in bed, eyes open wide as he slept (if he ever slept; she didn’t bother to ask) and a respectable distance beside her. He was usually gone and busy with work, leaving Mindy with the guards to take care of Tolluo until he was old enough to begin the real training.

Illumi was actually pretty content to leave those duties up to Mindy; he didn’t quite seem to know how to interact with Tolluo as he was. Mindy would watch dumbfounded as Illumi took Tolluo under his arms and just held him in midair, eyes staring into his son’s almost questioningly; to his credit, Tolluo never cried when Illumi held him. In fact, the first time he smiled, it was when Illumi was demonstrating his nen needles, which didn’t do much to comfort Mindy on the subject of her son’s future career.

 _“Tolluo….I’m scared for you, but whatever you do want to be, I just hope you’re happy. I hope you_ _know that I’ll always be there...no matter where you go, you’ll always have a home to come back to, because I love you more than I could ever love anyone.”_

Mindy tiptoed out of the nursery, thanking the silent guard with a whisper as she softly closed the door to her room; it was getting to be a bit late and she was sure Tolluo would be awake again within a couple hours or sooner.

 _“The funny thing is, I get scared if I don’t hear him for a while; will Tolluo feel smothered with how paranoid I get? Then again, compared to everyone else here, I look careless.”_ Mindy smiled to herself as she changed into her nightgown; there was still leftover weight from her pregnancy, but she was sure a few good training sessions would get rid of the extra pudge.

 _“Am I ever going to not be chubby? Ah well, it’s for a good cause this time.”_ Mindy laughed to herself as she brushed her teeth; Illumi even kept tabs on her hygiene habits. He insisted on brushing twice a day and flossing at night; what the state of her teeth had to do with anything was beyond her, but then again, it wasn’t killing her to not have cavities. Illumi had even restricted her drinking habits to a glass of whatever she wanted on Saturdays; he forbade her to consume any during the pregnancy, which was a good thing, but Mindy couldn’t help see the irony of enforcing her to cut back booze and ingest poison to basically poison Tolluo in turn.

“What a bunch of weirdos…” Mindy’s eyes glanced over to the clock. “Oh he should be home about…”

“Hello. Why are you still up?” Illumi came in without a sound; Mindy was impressed as she had still yet to perfect her own soft step technique.

“Sorry, hold on.” Mindy said and raced to the bed to grab a small box tied up in a large square of cloth. “Happy anniversary.”

“Oh that is today. Did you make me dinner?” Illumi was peering into the box after slowly untying the cloth; there was a mix of steamed veggies, grilled chicken, plain rice, and a little baggie of small, misshapen cookies.

“Tolluo helped me bake, but the rest I made.” Mindy smiled thinking of how Tolluo smashed little bits of dough over and over as she placed them in front of him; surprisingly, he hadn’t tried to eat them. Perhaps he was already more health conscious then her.

“I don’t have anything for you.”

“It’s okay, I just wanted to give you this before you head out again. If you don’t have time to eat, you can just snack real quick on this.”

Mindy didn’t so much expect Illumi to forget their anniversary (he remembered everything) but she knew he wouldn’t think it was worth making a big deal out of; still, they were technically husband and wife at least in name only, so she felt it would be too odd to just completely ignore it.

“Thank you, but I probably won’t have any time to eat this on the job.” Illumi stared at her unapologetically. “You know I need to be focused.”

“Yeah, but I still wanted to. You work hard and if you do get hungry, you can eat it whenever.” Mindy shrugged.

“Alright then. I’ll probably be back in a couple of days; did you feed Tolluo?”

“Yep; I took the dose, and you know he’s always hungry.” Mindy glanced down at her breasts; they had increased in a cup size, perhaps more because her maternity bra was starting to feel uncomfortable lately. She didn’t even know about them until Illumi presented a couple to her midway through her pregnancy; she didn’t know how he knew, but they were a lifesaver.

“Good. Go to sleep now.” Illumi was gone as quickly as he had came.

_“Oh brother...well, I better rest up for when Tolluo starts crying in the middle of the night.”_

Mindy sighed and sat on the edge of her bed, taking a tube of lotion from the nightstand; she uncapped it and began carefully spreading it on her palms to smooth her calluses (she wouldn’t have bothered, but Kikyo was adamant that she make sure she was aesthetically pleasing as possible for her son).

“I wonder if this stuff would work on the stretch marks…”

“Happy anniversary.”

Mindy smiled to herself. “Thanks. It’s been a while; you know I still can’t fight you just yet. I haven’t been able to keep up on my intense training since Tolluo was born.”

“Still? I’ve been so patient.” Hisoka leaned against the window frame with a pout. “Honestly, you never have any time for me, it’s all about that-”

“If you call my son a brat, you can just leave now.”

“Scary. Mama bear taking after the mother-in-law I see.” Hisoka swung his legs over to the floor and landed without a sound.

“I hope not. Anyway, you’ll be happy to know I learned Rhythm Echo.”

“Oh?” Hisoka’s smile grew. “Care to demonstrate?”

“I haven’t perfected it yet, at least according to Illumi; besides, I don’t want to wake up Tolluo. He just went to bed and I’m supposed to be asleep too.”

“Your husband is quite a controlling man. I can’t imagine how you manage to stand living in such a stifling environment.” Hisoka sauntered over to the bed and made himself comfy; the bed dipped on Illumi’s side and Mindy felt a bit on edge. The again, Illumi had no problem letting Hisoka come by when he pleased, so why would tonight make a difference?

“Tolluo and me make it work.”

“Can you not mention your offspring for five minutes?” Hisoka sounded mildly irritated; Mindy knew he liked to pretend her son just didn’t exist most of the time.

“Can you not complain for five minutes? You’ve been whining worse than a baby since you got here.”

“I just don’t see why you should have to spend your anniversary locked up in this place; I was thinking we could go out and have some fun, break a few rules.” Hisoka’s hand slipped under the hem of her night dress. “Dinner, dancing, drinks, and then we come back here for some dessert….you deserve to have some fun now and then.”

“And it has nothing to do with what you want?”

“Can’t it be both?”

Mindy shook her head as she brushed out her hair, trying to ignore the fingers gliding across her thigh. “You two are more alike than you think; you’re both controlling, selfish psychos, just with different methods to your madness.”

“I like how that sounds.” Hisoka pulled Mindy down to the mattress once she put away her comb. “Most things you say are so charming.”

“Hisoka, stop, it tickles!” Mindy giggled softly as he nipped at her neck and gripped her sides. “I can’t, Tolluo-”

“There’s a guard, right?” Hisoka smoothed a finger over her lips. “Let them do their job and take the night off from being mommie dearest; you’ve gotten so soft from living here.”

“Soft? I could kick the crap out of you.” Mindy balked; sure, she was still about as strong as him or Illumi, but that was saying something if she was their equal and then some with the Zoldyck’s training.

“I mean you.” Hisoka sighed as he looked into her eyes with almost wistfulness; his own were shining as brightly as the day they met, the day he had turned her world upside down. How long had it been since that day? Seven, eight years? Nearly a decade of her life and he hadn’t changed a bit while she had so much more than she would have ever dreamed.

Those piercing, captivating, terrifying eyes that grabbed her attention and never let it go, even now when her heart belonged only to her son. Today she could look into them unflinchingly with her own resolve, even with affection, but in the beginning those eyes had made her feel so transparent and weak.

It seemed a lifetime ago.

“You’re different.”

“I am.”

“Mindy...you know, I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wayside ever since Illumi came into the picture; but then I remember,” Hisoka smirked suddenly. “I had you first.”

Mindy groaned as he covered her lips with his own, tongue prodding and tangling with her own as his hands came to her breasts; with a chuckle at her flushed cheeks, Hisoka groped them teasingly.

“These changed too.”

“Don’t...they’re really tender.” Mindy whimpered and forced his hands off, but he just used them to grab her ass and make her grind up into him.

“Let’s see how well you can hold in your screams; will the servants come in here if they hear you? I don’t think I could stop…”

“Hisoka, please!” Mindy whined as he began ripping open the front of her nightgown, buttons popping off and landing who knows where. He managed to tear the whole thing away and toss it aside with a flourish.

“What are you asking for? That workaholic husband of yours doesn’t play with you that much, does he? He’s always leaving his wife all by herself; do you get lonely?”

Mindy wrapped her legs around Hisoka’s waist as he ground his clothed cock against her panties, already wet and becoming stained from her arousal; he pulled her against his chest and kissed her forcefully enough to hurt. Perhaps it was these intense sensations that distracted Mindy from hearing the door open and close as Illumi walked into the room, greeted to sight of his wife writhing under Hisoka; said man looked over his shoulder with the smuggest grin as he pulled his lips away from her skin.

“Oh, did you forget something? Me and Mindy were in the middle of a private session.” Hisoka said as he nipped at her neck, leaving a tiny mark; Mindy was glued to the bed, stiff and wide eyed.

Illumi was glaring at them both; it was not a cold, unamused stare. He was surveying them with slightly narrowed eyes. The frown cast unfamiliar shadows on his sallow face in the dimly lit room.

“Leave.”

Hisoka raised an eyebrow at the soft tone. “I don’t think that was part of our deal.”

“Mindy doesn’t want you here.” Illumi looked at her sharply.

“Hisoka...please, I really think you should go….” Mindy’s gaze turned to him hesitantly, but his eyes were still on Illumi with an cocky half smirk.

“Don’t you think you’re being a bit too possessive? I mean, it’s your anniversary, but it only fits I spend the night again.”

Illumi’s needles came out, barely missing Hisoka’s head; his hand was twitching, veins visible under the pale skin. “Get. Out.”

“Hisoka, please!” Mindy said a bit more desperately. “Please, Tolluo-!”

“Fine. I can’t stand to hear about that brat one more time.” Hisoka hopped over to the window, sending Illumi one last smirk. “It kills you doesn’t it? You wouldn’t even have her if I hadn’t let you join in; maybe you’re her husband, but I’m still the one she goes to-”

“Hisoka.” Mindy snarled lowly.

“You wanted a toy to control, but now you don’t want to share. Illumi, let’s not let a woman come between us, at least not in this sense.” Hisoka’s tongue trailed over his lips. “Just keep your end of the deal and be happy with what you get.”

Mindy rose up carefully, blanket drawn up to her neck; Illumi was still staring daggers at the now empty window. The curtains swayed from the warm breeze and Mindy was trembling like a leaf as he advanced forward to the edge of the bed.

“What do you think you were doing?”

“Hisoka-”

“Why did you let him touch you?”

Illumi knew he did it on purpose; he knew Hisoka was more than aware how he would react to finding him on top of his wife on their anniversary. He knew he would take offense to taking her on their wedding night.

Hisoka resented him, he just knew it. He was insulted that Mindy chose to share such a big part of herself and her life with someone else, and he just couldn’t stand not being the center of attention. Illumi scowled as his hands shook and twitched, aching to grab his associates throat and wring it until that smirk was wiped off his face; it was all just a way to get under his skin in retaliation for making him agree to sharing her. The sneaky, smug, childish-

“But you said it was okay.” Mindy’s voice was barely audible, but it managed to direct his attention back to her with a vengeance.

“I never said he could have you on our wedding night. I never said he could come here on our anniversary; why would you even want him here? You shouldn’t even be up right now.”

Illumi’s eyes glanced over to the torn nightgown, tossed carelessly in a heap on the carpeted floor; he held it up slowly. “Learn to be grateful; I give you everything you could ever need. I gave you a child, a home, and this is how you repay me?”

Mindy didn’t flinch as he threw it in front of her. “I do everything you ask. Tolluo was from both of us, and I’m the one who’s been looking after him. I follow your stupid rules and your schedule and put myself through hell to get approved by your family.”

“You’re my wife. You’re supposed to do all these things. You should’ve been waiting for me, not planning to spend the night under another man.”

“Fuck you.” her eyes flashed and her fists clenched. “You’re not ever here half the damn time!”

Mindy froze hearing Tolluo suddenly wailing from the other room; she wrapped the blanket over herself tightly and made to step around Illumi.  

 _“Great. Just fucking great, Tolluo has to deal with two people who don’t have their shit together. God, I don’t want him growing up hearing his parents fighting and yelling.”_ Mindy felt tears sting the corners of her eyes; her hand was grabbed around the wrist by Illumi, who pushed her to sit back down on the bed.

“Illumi, Tolluo’s crying!”

“The guard will see to him.” Illumi replied simply. “You coddle him too much anyway.”

“Coddle? I’m his mother, he needs me!”

Illumi’s frown softened; she sounded oddly like Kikyo.

“At least you care about one of us.”

“What is that supposed to mean?! For god’s sake, let me go!” Mindy ground out trying to get back up once more and shove Illumi out of the way once she heard Tolluo shriek.

“You can’t go running to him every time he so much as coughs.” Illumi drawled; he seemed to calm down slightly, but there was no mistaking the nasty sneer as he forced her back down to the bed. He grabbed her chin and made her look him in the eye.

“You need to listen. I’m your husband, whether you like it or not; you need to stop this stubborn foolishness and obey me. It’s your job to see to both me and Tolluo’s well-being; I expect you to act like it in the future.”

Mindy’s eyes became huge, the pupils dilating as she stared into his; she felt as though she was being submerged in the deepest, darkest parts of the ocean, drowning in his gaze, no longer being pinned down by his hands as his words became absolute. Her body relaxed as she sank back into the sheets, blinking slowly; why had she been so adamant? Why in the world was she making such a fuss? Perhaps her hormones were still out of whack from her pregnancy or maybe Hisoka’s presence had stirred up unpleasant emotions; Illumi’s sure, firm words were making her head feel so much more clear now.

_“Illumi is my husband, no matter why the reason; he’s been doing everything he can to see that both me and our son are properly cared for. So what if his methods are a bit extreme? I need to stop being so stubborn and let him take care of me….I need to be a better wife...I need to show him respect and let him have his say in Tolluo’s upbringing…”_

Mindy felt the thoughts roll in one after the other and was suddenly feeling very foolish for her outburst. After all, the guard was hired to do a job and Tolluo had to be weaned at some point; she would ask Illumi about starting him on solids and what toxins they should add to build his strength.

But not yet. Her friends, her old life, they were so remote, and here was her husband needing her to let loose her unnecessary pride.

Mindy wasn’t the lost, uncertain roughneck she used to be; she was Illumi’s wife and Tolluo’s mother.

Right now she needed to be his wife.

“I’m sorry.” Mindy leaned up to peck his lips; her unrestrained arms (when did he let go of them? And why did she ever try to break free?) wrapped around his neck. “I didn’t think you cared whether Hisoka saw me on our wedding night or any night….I should have told him to leave, it wasn’t appropriate.”

“As long as you realize the error of your ways, I forgive you.” Illumi had to hold back the biggest grin he would probably ever make, settling instead for a light smile. She was quickly under the influence of his nen needle and his hypnosis; he was more than happy putting Mindy in a state of mind that made her more complying.

Besides, unlike Hisoka’s selfish whims and needless mind games, this was all for both his and Mindy’s benefit; they both only had things to gain from this mutually beneficial relationship. She wanted a family and security; he wanted an heir and a reason for Killua to come home and possible fall back with the Zoldyck line of work.

And as time went by, he realized he quite enjoyed having Mindy there; he had someone who heeded his every word and order, and she did so with minimal resistance, at least most of the time. Her fussing could be amusing, but for the most part he was easily able to make her do as he wished.

Hisoka’s end of the bargain was preventing him from making her completely subservient though; Mindy was meant to be cut off from everything else so she could focus all her effort and time on training and taking care of her family. If she was going to insist on staying up past her bedtime, she should be waiting for him and preparing for his return, not staying up to engage in sex with another man. Illumi was becoming more and more impatient at Mindy’s slowing progress. Things would simply have to change; the bottom line was that her world was supposed to be centered around him and Tolluo.

Well, it was that way for their son; he was more of an afterthought it seemed.

“Illumi? I really am sorry. Hisoka barely ever comes around, especially when I was carrying Tolluo; I don’t think he can stand it. I think he’s losing interest.”

“Is that what you think?”

Mindy shrugged and fell silent; Illumi contemplated her with some irritation. It was so obvious, but then again, all she could seem to think about now a days was Tolluo, it was no wonder she was slacking off on keeping her guard up around that man.

_“He’s biding his time. He’s waiting for the right moment to strike and take her away; he’s certain he can convince her to leave willingly. He doesn’t want Tolluo along with them, so he’ll probably assume I would let Mindy go now that she’d given birth to an heir.”_

Illumi yanked on Mindy’s hair to make her bare her neck to him; he bite down on the spot where Hisoka left a tiny mark. Beforehand Mindy would have been more appalled and in immense pain from the teeth digging into her skin hard enough to make a little blood drip down her chest. Luckily, she had already been thoroughly desensitized and just whimpered feebly as Illumi lapped at the blood, making sure to stop the flow when it came close to staining the sheets.

Mindy blinked back the blurriness in her vision as Illumi shed his jacket and shirt.

“Perhaps you think I’ve been neglectful of you. I wonder if you’re tempted because I’m not always around. Such disloyalty…”

“But you told Hisoka it was okay...”

“Did you ever reject him? DId it ever cross your mind to make him leave?”

“I...no, but that’s because you said it was okay…” Mindy repeated with a shiver as he made her sit up; she kept the blankets close over her bared skin. “Illumi, didn’t you two make a deal or something?”

“Yes, but I expect you to be more reluctant in the future to settle for him. You should desire me first and foremost.” Illumi ran his hand over her shoulders. “What are you hiding?”

“Nothing.”

“Then drop the blanket.”

“But they look funny.” Mindy said with an almost demure tone. “Illumi, they have these weird red stretch marks...it’s really embarrassing-ah!”

“Unloyal and disobedient; what a troublesome combination.” Illumi was squeezing her wrist tightly enough to cut off circulation; Mindy was sure it would bruise later. “Don’t make me repeat myself; you do as I say the first time or else.”

Mindy let out a breath as he released his hand; she slowly lowered the sheet. There were faint, reddened lines all along the skin of her swollen breasts; a bit of milk had dripped down from her nipple onto her stomach and Mindy clenched her eyes shut as Illumi wiped it with a finger; her mouth gaped in slight horror as he brought it to his lips.

“Illumi!”

“I don’t see why you’re uncomfortable. It tastes sweet, a bit like almonds.”

“Is that normal...?”

“Yes, but it shouldn’t taste like this with what we gave you.” Illumi frowned in slight confusion. “The poisons should have made it taste somewhat bitter...did we not put enough?”

“I, uh, not sure...the books say what you eat can change the taste, but maybe the poison’s chemicals didn’t affect the nutrients that much…” Mindy felt her cheeks burn; what kind of conversation was this? She could barely keep herself from yanking the sheet back over her despite Illumi’s wrath.

“You were trying to be health conscious when you made my dinner, didn’t you?”

“Yeah; Illumi, why are you here? I mean, I thought you had to work?”

“I ran into my father on the way.”

Mindy blinked. “Silva?”

“He insisted on taking my place; he said if I was to expect you to be a dutiful wife, I needed to take time to be your attentive husband.” Illumi echoed blandly as his hands ran behind her back, kneading little knots and tense muscles; she sighed breathily and leaned into him. He ran a hand across her cheek. “But you’re still not completely forgiven.”

“Illumi,” Mindy gasped as he bite the ugly bruise on her neck, not as hard as before, but none too gently either. “Come on...I said I was sorry…”

“You didn’t put anything to drink in my meal. What if I had gotten thirsty or stuck somewhere for several days and became dehydrated?”

“...I don’t think a bottle of water would do you much good.” Mindy said slowly; she couldn’t tell if maybe he was trying to be funny.

“I didn’t even get dinner yet.” Illumi said. “As my wife, you need to provide it for me.”

“Okay. I need to put on a shirt first if you don’t-”

Mindy’s mouth gaped; Illumi was laying down between her legs, licking at one of her nipples with the tip of his tongue. A drop of milk leaked out.

“No, you-Illumi, the baby drinks that!” Mindy looked down at him scandalized and tugged on his hair; to her mortification, this action made Illumi hiss and rub himself against her thigh. “You can’t….they’re really sore, please Illumi, I will get you something from the kitchen!”

“I want this.”

Illumi suckled and felt warm, sweet milk drip into his eager mouth; it came out in little squirts and soon turned to gulps as he sucked and coaxed it. Mindy had stopped trying to pry him off and watched transfixed as he swallowed mouthful after mouthful; he switched to the other one while his free hand came to rub her pussy through the damp panties.

 _“I’m getting off on this….oh god, what’s wrong with me?”_ Mindy almost wanted to cry and hide in shame; it felt so good. Each drink he took was easing the soreness and she felt warmth in her belly as he clung to her waist. Mindy hesitantly began running her hands through his hair as carefully and gently as she could; Illumi hummed and sucked a bit harder.

“Illumi, be gentle...they’re still a bit tender…” Mindy whispered; she felt if she spoke too loudly it would break whatever spell that was making him melt into her arms. After another minute or so, Illumi pulled away, lowering her on her back As he held her thighs apart, a tiny smile crossed his lips. He could smell her arousal from his position above her.

Mindy cried out under her breath as he sunk into her in one move, head tossed back into the pillows; it had been the first time she had been taken since having Tolluo. Illumi bent over to latch onto a red, leaking nipple; she writhed and bucked up desperate for stimulation, and he could feel her soaking folds grip him until he was certain she had orgasmed from just his suckling alone.

“Oh god…” Mindy breathed and fell limp, moans turning to soft whines as he continued to feed; Illumi made an almost chuckling sort of noise and raised his hips to rut into her.

“Did you cum already? I really have been neglecting you if I can make you this dripping wet.” Illumi pushed back and forth harder and faster until they could both hear her walls squeezing him. “Do you like this? Do you want me tonight, or would you prefer-?”

“No!” Mindy pushed back despite her exhaustion. “Please, Illumi, I don’t want him. I want you to fuck me; I’m sorry….I swear, I’ll never let him touch me again, just please, please, please-!”

Illumi’s smile grew as she rocked her hips unsteadily; he would have looked handsome if his gaze wasn’t so hungry. He looked ready to eat her alive.

“You understand now. Good; Hisoka can come as he pleases.” Illumi pinched a nipple and swiped off the drop of milk; he stared into her eyes once more, compelling her to feel a sharp sensation of panic in her chest at the idea of Hisoka being the one in his place. “I have to keep up my end of the bargain, but I’m content knowing you’ll be thinking of me. You will keep my wishes in mind, won’t you?”

“Illumi, I don’t want him to touch me.” Mindy looked close to tears, fingers digging into his arms. “Please, don’t make me-”

“Be quiet." Illumi's tone softened at her wobbling lip and glistening eyes. "I won’t force my wife to do something so degrading; I think he gets the message.”

Mindy’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as Illumi held up his phone; she had never even seen him dial Hisoka’s number, but there was the screen, lit up with his name across the glass.

“Hisoka, did you get that?” Illumi asked into the phone with a pleasant air.

“I did.”

Mindy stared as the screen went blank; Hisoka had hung up.


	45. Alternate Ending: Pt. 5 Finale

**Author's Note: Sorry. At least it's not canon to my series!**

“Tolluo...I’m sorry. I’m sorry your mom is such a screw up….”

Mindy’s son didn’t even stir in his crib; she traced her fingertips over his pink cheeks. She wondered what he would look like when he was a bit older. Would he be stout and plump or tall and lean? Would his eyes be dull black or dark brown? Would he be stoic and methodical or open and bumbling? Would he be a cold killer or a simple-minded bystander? Maybe he would be a mix or just have little bits of their traits and looks; weren’t most children a little bit of both their parents?

“I love you. I hope you know that...I might not be that smart or strong or anything, but I love you more than anyone else in this whole fucking world.” Mindy muttered under her breath; his hair was starting to grow in, a little tuft of what could be dark brown or black. “I wonder if you’ll be an enhancer or a manipulator...maybe you’ll be neither. I hope you’re not a specialist; I don’t know how I’d be able to help with training….”

Tolluo breathed gently, nose whistling just so as his chest rose and fell; it was such a sweet picture, Mindy was sure if there was a god or some deity that was responsible for the human race, they made children look this adorable just so people would keep populating this sorry, up and down world.

“Miss, just a reminder, it’s twenty minutes until your scheduled bedtime.” The guard said a bit tentatively; it was more than clear they were having a hard time keeping their professional demeanor in light of Illumi’s somewhat strange request for them to keep Mindy updated on what could only be described as her list of rules.

Mindy was past wanting to roll her eyes at the childish term; the guard was just doing their job. A couple weeks after her and Illumi’s anniversary fiasco, he had made sure that not only were the servants keeping an eye on Tolluo, but also keeping an eye on her. The only place she got any privacy was their bedroom, though she wouldn’t be surprised if it also contained cameras with live footage like the nursery had.

Ever since that day, Illumi had been twice as smothering. It had gotten to the point he made sure to check in with her via a quick text every hour; during the day, if she didn’t reply within ten minutes or less, he would call. If she didn’t get back to him in fifteen minutes or less, he would contact another family member or a servant to look in on her.

On the nights he came home (they were becoming somewhat more frequent), Illumi would make attempts to fit the role of the ‘husband’.

Mindy would have laughed if they weren’t so awkward; she actually cringed when he joined her for bed the other night. He had sat beside her in the bed, utterly silent for ten minutes, wearing a night robe (she had no idea he even owned a form of pajamas) and then he suddenly turned to her with a vague smile.

“Oh, I forgot. Do you want me to fall asleep too?”

“You...don’t have to if you’re not tired.” Mindy said with a bracing smile. “It is nice you’re here though...how was work?”

“I accomplished the job. It rained.”

“Oh. Did you have an umbrella?”

“I did.”

“But you were soaked when you came back.”

“I had to make use of it. I’ll get a new one later.”

Mindy said down on her side. “Alright...I’m glad it went okay. Are you tired?”

“No.”

“I guess I’ll just go to bed then.” Mindy turned off her light and pecked Illumi’s cold cheek. “Night.”

She woke up the next day with Illumi’s face turned to her, on his stomach with one arm draped over her side; it seemed in the night he had managed to fall asleep. Mindy heard that feeling body heat tended to make people scoot closer to the source in their sleep if they shared a bed, but she was honestly surprised Illumi even slept.

 _“He actually is pretty cute; when he’s not staring at ya like a dead shark…”_ Mindy gazed through bleary eyes as a few strands of fine, dark hair fell in Illumi’s face; she was a bit envious of it really and sort of hoped their son would take after their father in some aspects. Illumi was definitely stronger in his resolve and mentality, though their strength was roughly on equal footing these days. Besides, he really did have great hair.

_“So you’re my husband. Who would have thought I’d be hitched to a member of a notorious family of assassins….I don’t know whether I have incredible luck or the worst luck in the world.”_

Mindy smiled. _“Then again, you gave me Tolluo. Can’t beat that.”_

Suddenly, so suddenly that Mindy almost bolted up and screamed, Illumi’s eyelids snapped open.

“Good morning.”

Mindy blinked rapidly. “Y-yeah. Sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for?”

“I was, uh, staring.”

Illumi blinked once. “Why?”

“Why?”

“Why were you staring?”

“No reason...I was just thinking you look cute. I don’t really like guys with long hair,” Mindy tucked away some loose strands and Illumi’s eyes tracked her hand. “You pull it off pretty good though.”

“Should I take that as a compliment?”

“Yeah, at least I meant it that way.” Mindy giggled in spite of his almost accusing tone; she could tell he wasn’t completely serious and it tickled her that she was actually able to tell.

But despite getting slowly accustomed to her new home, her new husband, and the beginnings of motherhood, Mindy knew the past wasn’t over with her just yet.

“I’m sorry you got dragged into this mess; you can’t help who your family is, but I’m the one who’s supposed to make sure you can grow up better than I did.” she pressed a kiss to her finger and tapped it just so it barely grazed Tolluo’s cheek. “No matter what happens from here on out, you come first. It’s the least I can do.”

The guard escorted Mindy directly to her room, closing the door behind her with a polite 'good evening'. Mindy then busied herself with brushing her teeth, flossing, using the lotion, and combing out her hair, just as Illumi instructed her to; he was going to be late on a job and the already huge room seemed even more spacious without him sitting rigidly in the bed, watching her as she did her routine. With Tolluo fast asleep and the guard on duty, Mindy still couldn’t find it in her to relax.

Just as she was changed into her night dress and about take off her glasses, she felt it. After nearly a decade of his presence so close and so far, how could she not?

Mindy sat up and moved to perch on the side of the bed, facing the window as she steeled her nerves and forced the twisting of her stomach to settle; not a second later, a silhouette was outline behind the sheer curtains and the window was unlocked and slowly opened.

“I was hoping you’d still be up.” Hisoka leaped down from his crouching position and stood in front of her, hand on his hip as he surveyed her form. “As much as I love idle chit chat, I assume we only have so much time before your “husband” returns?”

Mindy nodded mutely, not quite looking him in the eye.

“I want that fight.”

She looked at him directly, head snapping forward and eyes huge like a startled deer; Hisoka was smiling thinly, but didn’t make a move to attack.

“I want what I’m owed. You were mine first and I’ve spent far too much time waiting already; I know Illumi has you under some sort of influence. I know you didn’t even mean half of the things you said.”

“Excuse me?” Mindy found a hot spike of anger bubble in her stomach. “You know, I’m getting sick of you just showing up whenever you feel like it and talking to me as if you know every damned thing.”

“You know what his power is. Come on, don’t tell me you don’t think he’d at the very least exploit your pushover nature to his advantage?” Hisoka tsked. “You’re becoming a puppet, that’s all there is to it.”

“Oh yeah? Is this coming from the guy who keeps calling me his toy? Even if that was true, how is Illumi “manipulating” me any different than what you do? You’re more alike than you want to admit; the only difference is I can actually have an ounce of trust in him.”  
“Mindy, listen to me. After all these years, you must have-”

“I haven’t.” Mindy cut him off. “Hisoka, I don’t want you here. I don’t want Illumi to come here and you guys get into a fight that wakes up Tolluo.”

Hisoka laughed humorlessly. “Yes, the brat.”

“Get out or I’ll activate the alert system.”

“You’re joking? You won’t even take care of me yourself?” Hisoka asked tiredly as he let his arms hang at his sides. “You really have gotten soft; I’m starting to doubt whether you have the nerve to take me head on…”

“I’m not fighting you at all.”

The corners of Hisoka’s smile fell slightly, but then he soon wore a full out smirk.

“Did your dear husband tell you to stay in the kitchen and let him deal with me?”

“No. I don’t want to fight you; I never did, and now I can’t.” Mindy said firmly. “If I die, Tolluo’s out a mother.”

“Mindy, do you hear yourself? What about your dreams? You wanted to be a Hunter, and now you’re cooped up in this gilded cage, nothing more than a glorified housewife. Are you even getting proper training? Or did they stall it so you could spend time with your little bundle of joy?”

“Just stop. I don’t want to fight you. I don’t want you anywhere near me or my family.” Mindy sighed. “You were right, things are different. I’m different...but it would have never happened without you introducing me to Illumi, if you didn’t push me away every time you tried to pull me along. I tried to...I tried to make it work. I’m still trying to make my life work, but this time I finally got something worth the effort. I love my son.”

“What a waste.” Hisoka’s narrowed eyes looked down in what could only be accurately described as mild disgust.

“Are ya done?”

He stood there for a moment, lips parting ever so slightly, but no sound came out; Hisoka shook his head and stepped up on the window sill.

 _“Is this really the last time I see him? I never…”_ Mindy felt her eyes sting. _“Maybe if things were different, but they’re not. Why, even now, do I feel sad? Sure, things aren’t perfect, but I finally have the one thing I always wanted. I never would have found that with him.”_

Mindy felt herself glow as she pictured Tolluo waking up in the morning, yawning softly and needing milk; she thought about him learning to walk, learning to talk, what his first words would be, what kind of person he would grow up to be. She thought about him having a family of his own someday and hopefully, she could provide a good example of what a parent should be like.

“If you came with me, I could help you forget it all.”

Mindy’s eyes met his. “Forget what?”

“Everything you do seems tied to the past. Old dreams you’ve let be determined by old memories. I can help you move on.” Hisoka was looking at her from the corner of his eye. “I could help you forget it all.”

Her smile was sincere; he wondered, for a fraction of a second, if anyone else had ever looked at him that way and meant it.

“You don’t have to forget things to move on; you can move on by learning from what you can’t forget. Come on, you know by now I don’t work like that. Nothing you do could ever make me happy.”

Mindy’s smile faltered; she didn’t exactly mean it the way it sounded. She meant his way of thinking and his course of action would never help her find peace; but then again, maybe it didn’t matter how she meant it.

“Some things never do change. You’re as tactless as ever.” Hisoka almost smiled, almost went back to kiss her. “I might miss it.”

Mindy sent him a half smile as he disappeared; she knew he’d forget about her as soon as he found another way to amuse himself.

But she wasn’t as sad as she thought she’d be; new memories would soon replace the old, and the old would grow fainter and fainter, until they were almost just part of a far away dream. Later she might recall Hisoka, might think of his touch or his smile or his voice, but today, the tears were frozen in her eyes as she lifted a hand in farewell.

Right now, Mindy was happy.

“Bye…”

She stood up after maybe ten minutes of just sitting there, staring at the open window and waiting for something to happen. When it seemed as though it was truly the end of it, Mindy went to close the window, lock it tight, and drew the curtains closed to block out most of the moonlight that shone inside. The spacious bed seemed even more lonely once she laid down; she truly hoped Illumi would be home soon. Not comforting by any means, he did provide her with a form of stability, albeit it was an extremely strict version of security that anyone else may have bristled at. Mindy sometimes felt she ought to have more pride and be more indignant to be treated with about as much respect and given as much freedom as a child.

 _“But if I want to be there for Tolluo, I need to suck it up and deal with it as best as I can.”_ Mindy scolded herself. She tried to close her eyes and think of all the positives of her situation. There was Tolluo, of course, the fact she was gaining more experience with nen and improving steadily under Silva and Illumi’s tutelage, not to mention, she would never have to worry about money. Everything was provided for her, food, clothes, a place to sleep, and anything else if she put aside her pride and asked Illumi directly, though he was mildly pleased when she did come to him. In fact, it seemed like Illumi and the rest of his clan who cared to have an opinion was keen on her staying put.

 _“What, do they really think I’d leave my baby with them?”_ Mindy frowned to herself. _“No, they’d probably be way more worried of me trying to take him with…”_

It’s not like Mindy still didn’t have a good amount of her savings to tide her and any take care of Tolluo’s expenses; if it came to it, she could raise him on her own, even pay for childcare while she had to work. But Mindy wasn’t stupid; she knew she would never be able to escape the Zoldycks, even if she tried. For a minute, her heart sank and she realized she truly had become trapped in a gilded cage, just as Hisoka mocked.

 _“God that….whatever. It is what it is. I have Tolluo, and maybe someday, we can go off on our own when he’s older. At the least we could live outside of Kukuroo Mountain….well, unless he really does end up becoming an assassin…”_ she pulled the blanket over and and curled up. _“No, stop that. What he does will be Tolluo’s decision; as long as he’s happy, then I’ll just have to get over it.”_

All her life Mindy had been searching for what she wanted the most and now she had it; the least she could do in return was let her son find his own happiness when the time came.

Unfortunately, it seemed that time would never come.

Mindy felt the covers yanked off her body in one move; above her was Illumi, a grave look on his face. Mindy scrambled to get up from bed.

“You’re home. I-”

“Where is Hisoka?”

“What? He’s not here.” Mindy said a bit too loudly.

“Was he here?”

Mindy felt her back stiffen at his sharp tone. “Yes, about a half hour ago. I told him to leave though, please don’t be mad-”

Illumi turned from her to the door; Silva had slammed them open with all his force, Kikyo hot on his trail, hands biunched up in white knuckled fists around her skirts. Zeno was just coming up behind them with the nursery guard; Mindy’s eyes were drawn to a bundle of cloth held in their arms; it was stained bloody in some spots.

“Illumi, is he gone?” Silav spoke calmly, yet there was no glossing over the raw fury in his glare; he looked at Kikyo as she began to open her mouth once more, and she quickly closed it with tight lips. Tears were pouring from the bottom of her visor as her shoulders trembled.

“Yes. But he couldn’t have gotten far.”

“Alright. Kikyo, go alert Milluki and Kalluto, then come find me.”

Silva briefly glanced at Mindy and his glare softened. “Illumi, you’ll be needed here and don’t leave until I give the word. Understood?”

“Yes father.” Illumi had been holding his needles in each hand, but withdrew them at once at Silva’s command.

“Forgive me, but I’ll be able to catch him by surprise if I go alone. I’ll keep in contact.”

Silav threw open the window and disappeared in an instant; Kikyo sobbed into her hands, and Zeno went over to put a hand on her shoulder.

“Kikyo, now isn’t the time. You need to see to your own children.”

“Yes father.” Kikyo said through gritted teeth and sent Mindy what could have been a the foulest glare, rounding on her and looking ready to kill. “You trash. I knew it, I knew no good would come of you; this is your fault! You brought that-that-!”

“Mother, leave us.”

Kikyo shut her mouth but gave Mindy one last venomous sneer to make it clear that this was not over; with a swirl of her dress, Kikyo had vanished with as much swiftness as her husband. Zeno sighed heavily, folding his hands behind his back as his whole body became sagged. Mindy stared at him, consumed with concern and feeling distinctly out of the loop; he seemed at least another decade older than he was as he shuffled over to her and Illumi.

“Mindy, how long has it been since you saw that man?”

“I...a half hour. He left about half an hour ago. What’s-?”

Mindy looked between her husband, Zeno, and the guard, who was still clutching the bundle with tears pooling in their eyes. The bundle wrapped in white cloth; the bloodstain was slowly spreading, soaking the spots it touched red; the guard’s hands trembled and tears fell faster the longer Mindy stared, eyes slowly growing to the size of saucers as they stared unseeingly at the blanket.

Tolluo’s baby blanket.

“The cameras caught him on film. We’re setting a bounty for him; truthfully, if he had access to this place like Illumi said he did, he should already be gone by now.” Zeno informed her quietly, slowly so she could process every word.

Her legs were like lead as she reached out to take her son in her arms one last time; he felt twice as heavy as before. How long had he been asleep? Had he been asleep when Hisoka was able to find his way into the room?

“How did he get in?”

The guard raised their head. “I-I don’t know. I’m so-”

“Shut up.”

Mindy grabbed their throat with one hand, the other still holding Tolluo carefully, bringing him to her in a sort of hug. She didn’t look at them as she closed her hand tighter and tighter, didn’t even twitch as nails clawed at her arm, as they struggled to free themselves. The nen encircled her hand like an extar layer, and she could just feel the windpipe crush under her hold.

“Mindy-”

“It’s too late.” Zeno said with a tired sigh.

The corpse fell as she released her grip, automatically using her now free hand to cradle her son to her chest. Illumi and Zeno both looked on silently as she fell to her knees, her body seeming to cave in as he hugged Tolluo; soon the guard’s body would be just as stiff and cold as her baby’s. It seemed to be more than a fitting punishment.

“It’s too late…”

“Mindy, you can’t go after him.”

Illumi watched as his wife wiped her cheeks and found her footing without a sign of weariness; she made her way to her side of the bed and gently placed the only person she ever loved on top of a pillow. Mindy stood there for a second and took a deep breath.

“I can.”

“No you can’t.” Zeno said firmly. “You still lack experience; you’re too emotional-”

“Too emotional?” Mindy felt a hoarse croak escape from her throat; fresh tears ran down to fall from her chin.  “I’d hope so. My son was just killed.”

“He’ll kill you without any trouble in the state you’re in. Please,” Zeno put a hand to her shoulder. “Stop and think. What good are you to us dead?”

“What good am I alive?”

Illumi stepped to her side. “May we have a moment to speak to each other? I will make sure she stays put.”

“Alright then; I’ll just take care of this.” Zeno hoisted up the dead body with one arm. “Mindy...we need to-”

“I know. Take him.”

Zeno watched as Mindy scooped up her son’s corpse as gently as if he were still alive; she handed it to him with the shadow of a smile.

“Thanks grandpa.”

With a nod, Zeno was gone too; Mindy turned to fully face her husband. As strongly as she could sense his blood lust, she didn’t find herself afraid. In fact, she revelled in the fact he was just as affected a sher despite his expression of calm. She wanted him to give her the okay; they could even track the murderer down together.

“If you go after Hisoka now-”

“Don’t. Don’t even say his name. If you want me to not throw you down that fucking window and run after him, you better watch your mouth.”

Illumi took a step forward. “You’re as difficult as always; Mindy, you said you would call off your duel with Hisoka for Tolluo’s sake. Do it again for our future child’s sake.”

“What?!” Mindy wanted to slap him. “How can you be talking about….fuck you, you cold, stupid-!” she felt a sharp pain in her head, but ignored it. “Dammit! I know you’re mad too. Illumi, he took Tolluo; don’t you get it?!”

“We must listen to my father and wait-”

“HOW CAN YOU JUST STAND THERE?!” Mindy howled and threw a punch that was easily dodged; he began throwing a barrage of them, each one only just grazing his person, but she could care less about accuracy. “HE KILLED HIM! HE HAS TO PAY, HE HAS TO DIE!”

Mindy froze; it was as if the sentence had been spoken by someone else.

_“Why?….I never wanted it to be like this…”_

Illumi’s face was in front of her shaking fist and he took it with a gentle hand.

“He will pay. Do you think he has a chance of evading us forever?” Illumi questioned rhetorically. “He will be found, but not by you. You need to stay and we will produce another child; didn’t you say you wanted a family more than anything? If that’s not a lie, you’ll allow us to deal with this problem and do your own part.”

Mindy felt the sharp pain begin to throb; she cried out and fell over, but Illumi caught her and drew her to his chest.

“Illumi, my head...everything hurts.” Mindy’s voice cracked. “I have to kill him. He’ll be back, what if he comes back? I can’t just let him go free, I can’t-”

“I’ve got you dear,”  Illumi stroked her hair. “Everything will be taken care of; you just need to be patient. Do you understand?”

Mindy grabbed at her hair and nodded weakly, tears dripping down to the floor as her nose was clogged. She leaned into him and sobbed.

“Illumi...he’s dead…”

He said nothing as he held her closer; she finally did fall into a fretful sleep, clinging to a pillow and letting it soak her tears. Illumi watched her for a few minutes before pressing down with one hand on a part of her neck; with that, she truly did fall into a deep unconsciousness, and when she did, he pulled out his phone and dialed a number.

“I was wondering when you’d call. So, did they really not recognize you?”

Illumi held the phone close to his ear. “No, not at all. To be frank, no one here would doubt your motives. Mindy is beyond a doubt convinced.”

“Hm...I can’t believe it. I fear I’ll’ll never get our match.” Hisoka sighed on the other end; Illumi knew he was most likely in another part of the country by now. “Years of waiting wasted, all for a child.”

Hisoka had been a bit surprised once Illumi proposed the plan, though in his humble opinion, his friend’s morals were even more lacking and depraved than his; but the idea was that it would ultimately benefit both of them.

Mindy had already been steadfast about refusing to fight, something Illumi had relayed back to Hisoka not long before she informed her husband. Hisoka was left irritated and unsatisfied; the only reason he even bothered to go to see her that night was for Illumi’s plan to work. He might have felt betrayed.

_“But that face...what a cute face she makes when she’s upset. I can’t believe I had to miss it. I’ll have to ask Illumi for details someday.”_

It seemed that Illumi was fine with sacrificing his own son for a deal, but Hisoka thought he should wait to bring up, but at the end of the day, he still came out with what he wanted.

Because Mindy would hate him forever; she would burn with it. She had already killed an innocent in her grief; to think of how strong, how cold her eyes must have been made him shiver; and it was all because of him, or that’s what she was led to believe. Perhaps he would never get that fight, but now his betrayal would be imprinted in her heart for as long as she lived and breathed.

On Illumi’s end, he would receive a completely dependent and loyal spouse to give birth to the new heir of his family and create a way for Killua to remain close by for his Mindy and his unborn nephew’s sake. He had her in the palm of his hand now, this broken shell of a woman that he could mold into his once and for all.

She had no one else. Isolated from her friends, betrayed by the man she bonded with, and deep down, Mindy knew she could never truly belong with the Zoldycks. Still, Illumi was confident she would never leave. He was all she had left, the only hope she had of regaining her happiness, not to mention getting her revenge; and with that needle still implanted in her brain, what choice did she really have?

In a few months or less, she would take the medicine once more to make her temporarily fertile; she would bear another child, would try to pick herself up through her anger and hate and pain once more and start over. The difference was that this time, she would never be free of either of them.

Hisoka smiled to himself, feeling as though he had gotten the last word; it was such a spine tingling thought, to know she’d hate him until the day she too died. If he was really lucky, perhaps her hate would drive her to hunt him someday. But that was thinking too far ahead.

At the root of the issue, what Mindy needed was to be broken so she could fully grow into what Hisoka desired and become a puppet for Illumi to control and command as he saw fit. He could always have another child with her, and this time,

“A happy resolution if there ever was one.”

**Twelve Years Later:**

_“Okay......now!”_

Illumi sidestepped Tolluro, but not before his son came right back at him using his momentum to send a bruising kick to his shin and a punch to his stomach.

“Good.” Illumi said and slammed the side of his hand into his son’s neck; Tolluro was able to sense his father’s swift movements and pull away just before the impact could knock the wind out of him.

 _“Dammit!”_ Tolluro inwardly as he felt Illumi grab his arm and yank him back for a kick to his side; it sent him spiraling mid air, and he skidded at least a twenty feet from his starting point, heels causing depressions in the bare dirt. Despite his frustration, his facial expression never changed; that was one thing he learned perfectly from his father.

 _“No way in hell I’ll let him see me pissed. Let’s see how he likes this.”_ Tolluro steadied himself, getting into a proper stance and keeping his hands close to his tool belt.

“Choose wisely.” Illumi reminded him as he stood ramrod straight; his own dull eyes mirrored his son’s perfectly.

Except for the color; Tolluro’s own wide, rarely blinking eyes possessed a the deep brown of his mother’s; but at the moment they carried only a cold, calculating gaze, never once wavering. A shadow of pride passed through Illumi’s expectant expression.

Tolluro began circling his father to create images of himself; he knew Illumi would be able to tell which was which, but what he didn’t know was which one of the copies would be the one to create his next tool.

He reached into one of the loops of his belt and conjured a regular size hammer; Illumi eyed it curiously, but gave no sign of an opening.

 _“Let’s see ya dodge this one.”_ Tolluro thought as he charged; he had already mastered the rhythmic echo technique two years even before his uncle, something Killua always bragged about as he had been the one to teach him.

Illumi blinked; despite how perfect the move was, he wasn’t about to be confused. Even so, the Tolluro who had thrown the hammer wasn’t the real one. In fact, it seemed as though this hammer had come out of thin air; yet as Illumi just barely avoided the hit, his son was still holding the original tool in his hand.

“I see. You’re learning how to duplicate them.” Illumi hadn’t even seen Tolluro’s hand twitch to throw the second one. “Excellent; you’re making use of both conjuring and manipulation techniques. But you still need stealth to pull it off.”

“Yes father.” Tolluro looked at his watch; it had been a gift from Silva on his tenth birthday, though he didn’t see that much of a point in owning a watch. He was never late for anything, since he spent the majority of his time in the estate when not on assignments. “It’s nearly time for lunch with Mother. May I go now?”

“Yes. You’ve improved rapidly.”

Tolluro turned away and ran fingers through his black hair. _“Like I need his approval. I know I’m good.”_

He strolled past the sitting room, making sure to have his footsteps completely undetectable; he didn’t want his grandmother to fuss over him again and he didn’t want to spoil his appetite with the candy she was sure to offer insistently. Grandmother Kikyo always seemed to try to tempt him with sweets when she knew he was going to have a meal with his mother.

 _“What a pain, having to sneak around in my own house.”_ Tolluro sighed once he was safely in the dining room on the wing opposite the main lobby. Not that he minded the fussing too much; after all, he was more than happy to be the recipient of so much attention. He just didn’t always feel like bothering with it from his family.

“Fuck, am I late?”

Tolluro stepped into the room; the table was bare and his mother was nowhere to be seen.

“Ma? You in here?”

“Hold on!” came a somewhat haggard voice. “Just got the cookies out of the oven.”

“Awesome!” Tolluro jogged into the kitchen and could smell the melty chocolate chips already.

“How was training?”

“Fine. I figured out how to mix my conjuring hatsu with manipulation.” Tolluro grinned and grabbed a cookie while Mindy was busy turning off the stove.

“Tolluro, not until you eat lunch.”

“Come on Ma, just one? It’s all warm and gooey!” Tolluro smiled pleadingly, his slightly rounded cheeks adding the the puppy dog look. “You always say you hope I get enough food.”

Mindy eyed him wryly. “Healthy nutritious food, not junk.”

“Is he bugging you about your diet again? Ma, why does he even tell you what to eat?” Tolluro asked not for the first time; he just didn’t get it. It wasn’t as if his mother was absent minded or anything; she took jobs and did them efficiently, but no matter what she did or where she was, his father seemed to always be checking in on her to make sure she was still eating this, or taking those vitamins, or brushing up on that technique, etc, etc.  It would be enough to drive Tolluro insane.

“Your father is just concerned.” Mindy said easily. “He likes to look after me, and I don’t mind. It gives me more time to look after you.”

Tolluro blushed as she pinched his cheek. “Maaa, I don’t need you to look after me!”

“Don’t care.” Mindy stuck out the tip of her tongue. “But if you really mean it, I guess you won’t want the salmon patties and fried rice I made just for you…”

“But those are my favorite! Ma, did you put in extra onions?”

“Yeah.” Mindy made a face. “I can’t believe you like those; I mean, they’re good for you, but cutting them makes my eyes water.”

Tolluro’s cheeky grin fell a bit. “Sorry Ma, I forgot.”

“Oh no, it’s fine! Besides, it’s been awhile since I’ve gotten time to cook for you myself.” Mindy commented with a sigh and put a hand on his head. “You’re growing up too fast. Shrink.”

“Okay.” Tolluro sunk down in his seat.

Mindy’s laughter was cut off at Illumi’s arrival; seemingly out of thin air, he was standing in the entrance to the kitchen, surveying his family blankly.

“Dear, refrain from babying him.” Illumi said as he made his way to Mindy, a little frown on his face. “You’re back later than expected. Was the mission successful?”

“Yep.” Mindy did a mock salute; Tolluro inwardly made gagging noises as she stood up on the tips of her toes to peck Illumi’s cheek. He would never show his father that anything got to him, even this weird display; was he her boss or her husband? He watched as his mother stood next to his father and spoke of some matter or other.

His mother claimed that she was average height, but Tolluro was even a head taller already. Mindy also often said she was grateful he was handsome like his father, but Tolluro thought his father looked like a ghost; and besides, he liked how his mother looked more.

All in all, his she appeared unassuming; slightly plump and round and plain spoken; his father was tall with a receding hairline despite his long hair. Tolluro was glad to not have his blank stare completely; he thought his mother’s eyes were pretty. He would sometimes look at their family picture from when he was only a year old; his mother held him with the biggest, sweetest smile, her cheeks flushed with happiness as his father gazed into the camera with no expression. His hand clutched Mindy's shoulder in a way that made Tolluro feel uneasy; her eyes still looked so tired. Why did she always look so tired?

“Ma, why do you let him walk all over you?” he asked lowly as soon as he knew Illumi was out of earshot. _"Is he why you're tired Ma? What's going on....why do I feel like you're saying less to me than he is half the time? Why do I feel like you seem to...fade away when he tells you something?"_

“Tolluro, don’t talk about your father that way.” Mindy said for the umpteenth time; she set him a plate. “Eat as much as you want, okay?”

“Thanks.”

Tolluro thought his father treated his mother like a kid; when they spoke, Mindy’s tone was noticeably less casual. When Illumi kissed her on the cheek, it was fleeting, yet he always made sure he knew where she was or stood right next to him in a room. Tolluro would hold back a frown; the actions seemed more, in his opinion, controlling than anything else.

“Uncle Killua says you’re as strong as him. You can look after yourself; if you can’t I’ll look after you instead.”

Mindy smiled. “You’ve been hanging around your uncle too much. Your father can be...difficult, but he means well.”

“Ma, let’s go.”

“Hm? Go where?”

Tolluro leaned in and grinned. “Let’s go on a trip together. Uncle Killua gets to go on trips outside of missions all the time.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. You know we have to be careful and you’re still inexperienced. I’ll feel better about that when you’re older.”

“But Ma, Uncle Killua says I’m just as strong as he was at my age, even stronger! I can take care of both of us easy!” Tolluro said as if it was obvious. “I’ll kill anyone who tries to mess with us.”

Mindy set down her plate a bit harder than necessary. “You’re not as powerful as you think; there’s people out there three times as strong and ten times more skilled and experienced.”

“But-!”

**"I said no!”**

Tolluro shrank back in his seat; his mother’s eyes were glistening with unshed tears. There was frustration and irritation in her gaze, but the raw fear made him shut his mouth. A moment later, Mindy looked down at the table in shame.

“I shouldn’t have yelled. Please Tolluro, for my sake, don’t talk about this again.”

Mindy rose and quickly leaned over to give her growing son a hug; her tears made his resolve waver. 

"Ma...."

“Please just stay close by, don’t go wandering off, not yet. I promise, when the time is right, we’ll see the world if you want.”

“Okay. I’m sorry.” Tolluro held his mother; she seemed so frail to him. _“Ma...what the hell is so scary about going out there to you? Is it ‘cause of father? Did he tell you to stay put too? But why?”_

“Thank you sweetie. I’m sorry I got so upset, let’s just enjoy lunch. After that, I’ll tell you about the time I got my hand caught in your father’s hair when I was braiding it.” Mindy gave him a toothy grin.

“You did what?!”

“Yeah, he was asleep….”

Mindy loved her son very much; she wanted to tell him more. She wanted to tell him about her travels’ her old friends, her old life. She wanted to share all of her heart with the person that mattered the most.

But she wouldn’t.

Tolluro would never know about his brother, or her family, or the cold hate burying itself deeper and deeper into her being that made it so much easier to kill as the years passed. Not if she could help it.

But that hate, that desire for revenge….it was the only trace of herself left that was untouched by the needle in her brain, the only thing that drove her for more; she only had two goals in her life now. To terminate any possible threat to her son and to be his mother; they almost went hand in hand really. Maybe someday, they would take a trip; maybe they would even visit her old friends or her old home; they could meet up with Uncle Killua and Uncle Gon and go on a adventure even, if it wasn’t too dangerous.

But never the places she went with **_him_.**

Never the places they stayed together, fought together, spent nights together. The very thought of his hands on her made Mindy want to throw up.

He was still out there; Illumi told her he was. He said he would always save her a spot in his hit list. He would wait for her.

The bastard.

“Ma?”

“Hm?”

“You okay?”

Mindy forced a smile that was just real enough to set her son at ease. “Yeah, I’m fine sweetie.”

_“Hisoka…”_

Mindy hid her gritted teeth as Tolluro smiled back at her.

_“I’m waiting for you too.”_


	46. Omake: Baby, It's Cold Inside

**Author's Note: This just came out of nowhere. Enjoy!**

Mindy carefully hung a bauble on the last uncovered branch; after a moment of consideration, she cocked her head to the side unconsciously to survey the pine from all angles, eyes searching for any spot that was left bare.

Perhaps it was a bit excessive, but it was her first real, live Christmas tree after all; she was so tickled she hadn’t stopped humming to herself the whole day, not as she strolled home with the tied up tree on her shoulder as she ignored the confused/horrified stares. Even now she was fretting over whether there were too many decorations on the side facing the room. Mindy heard her mother telling her to make sure the ornaments were placed all around the pine to keep it from tipping over.

It was soon followed reluctantly by Mindy recalling her father sending their miniature plastic tree crashing to the ground in a drug induced rampage. The memory came from what was the first Christmas she could remember; tacky and cheap as it was, the tree was beautiful in Mindy’s eyes. Seeing it smash on the ground had made the tears come faster than any blow or insult her father had ever dealt her until then. After he had stormed off to sleep and her mother had gone away to another room to cry and curse, Mindy had been left sitting on the carpet with a glittering bauble in her hands. She didn’t recall where she had gotten it from, just that it was cold and felt bumpy as she turned it over and over and over in her fingers.

For a reason her four year old mind couldn’t bring forth for the life of her, during that time Mindy persisted at the feeling in her chest that if she stopped, something bad would happen. Not another scene or a tirade, but something. Even in  the present, Mindy hadn’t been able to describe just what notion had made her sit by the broken tree until her legs were numb and all she could see was the soft, sky blue and silver of the bauble. It had made her tears dry right up, so she supposed it must not have been such a bad idea.

It was only until years in the future, and with much hesitance and an uncomfortable squirming in her stomach, Mindy had spoken about it to Onna. To her credit, the older woman did not focus too much on the unsavory details and kept a calm expression through the whole tale. With slow and careful words, Onna had relayed that in times where she was overwhelmed and her training became too intense, she implemented a few choice techniques. Mindy listened, puzzled but interested, as her self-proclaimed rival described how during one of these sessions, she would find a spot devoid of distractions or stressors, and focus on something.

Mindy had been even more confused; she had assumed meditation entailed emptying your mind off everything and achieving some vague sense of inner peace, but Onna said it wasn’t so clear cut. For her personally, meditation itself was a sort of distraction. Having a point to zone in on helped with the process. Onna would typically use the sword her deceased grandmother had left to her; she would lay it in her lap, take a cloth, and swipe it across the blade in gentle, steady strokes. As she did this repeatedly, Onna would find her nerves being restored and her breathing even out. After some minutes passed, she was serene enough to readily think and confront what was so difficult about her exercises and what she could do to make a change. Apparently, Mindy had done something similar, only her mind was not developed or self aware enough to try to cope and find a way to work through her problem once she had been able to calm down.

The explanation didn’t do much to make Mindy feel more at ease over the behavior she had exhibited; in her opinion, a normal child would have cried or screamed or just felt something. Yet she had unknowingly forced herself to a near catatonic state by focusing all her energy and thoughts on just turning the bauble around in her hands so she might block out everything else.

Onna had suggested that the trauma of the violence, fear, and sadness had caused an almost instinctual reaction so that she might preserve her mental state.

Mindy wished she could feel more pride that her young and admittedly naive mind had been able to find a way to maintain some semblance of stability. But as Onna had taken her leave, she only felt chills go up her spine at what could have been.

The tree stood tall and proud and bright in her living room corner; Mindy stared at it for one moment before walking to the shoe closet to find a brush and pan.

_“I’m not a kid anymore. I have my own home. It’s the holidays and I can spend them however I want to now.”_

Mindy kneeled down to gently sweep the scattered pine needles into the dustpan; instead of a stained, cigarette burn littered carpet, she had sturdy wooden floors. In place of a broken tree was one lovingly decorated and emanating a wonderful smell in her very own house. She never knew what became of that lone, glittery ornament, only that her touch had made the color worn off by the end of that night. Today she had gone out and picked out several in varying colors as shiny as the twinkling lights strung on the branches.

_“I have my own life. It’s fine.”_

A loud beep interrupted her reverie; Mindy quickly scurried to the kitchen to toss the pine needles into the trash and pull on oven mitts to take out her cookies. After checking the edges for browness, Mindy decided they were done and ready to place on the stove top to cool. She had only made so many to test our their taste; once the post office was open she could send a box of them to Wing and Zushi. The idea of sending some to Onna and Hisoka had come up, but then, Mindy had no idea where they actually were.

_“At least I can give some to Aro right away.”_

Mindy had actually planned to invite him over, but Aro had told her with some exasperation that he was going away with his parents and would be gone until early January. She would be lying if she didn’t say she was a bit disappointed, but then, if she had a family to spend the holidays with, she be more than happy to go on a cruise with them for the break between semesters.

_“I hope he’s having fun. His parents sound a bit much, but I’m sure it can’t be all bad.”_

Most of Mindy’s information on families during Christmas were from movies and TV specials; she knew it was childish and most likely completely false, but she had a distinct image of holiday get togethers as filled with whacky hijinks, heartwarming moments, and sprinkled in, ridiculous melodrama that’s put aside because it’s Christmas or it’s ultimately not that important to focus on. It was inaccurate, but Mindy wasn’t sure how else to picture it.

In the past, Mindy’s mother would attempt to do all the traditional things like baking and decorating, but by the time the season was over, her father would always do something to make the holidays end on a sour note. Fighting, stealing money, returning gifts to pay for another hit; any of Mindy’s efforts to fully embrace the fun of the season were dampened at best and crushed at worst.

The happiest Christmas memories were ones where she was alone and outside in the cold, since people normally didn’t care to walk about in freezing weather. Mindy would find a place to rest her legs and breathe warm air into her numb hands as she watched the flakes fall on the untouched, frost covered area. Even the neighborhood somehow looked charming covered in fresh snow and the rare buildings that bothered to string up lights.

Waiting for the chaos at her house to die down, she would huddle and stuff her hands in her pockets, breathing in and out slowly; Mindy never wanted to stop looking on as the snow fell. It made her feel small, as if her problems really weren’t as bad as they seemed; it made her feel warm even. In short, it was beautiful and something that couldn’t be ruined.

Now Mindy was feeling somewhat glum as she used a spatula to remove the cookies and deposit them onto the large plate; it had an image of Santa Claus on the front and the face was already covered by the warm treats. Mindy took one and bit into it, her spirits rising a little; they came out just right. Pouring herself a glass of milk and piling a few cookies onto a smaller plate, Mindy tried to focus on the here and now.

 _“I haven’t even seen them in years.”_ Mindy shook her head and berated herself internally. _“There’s gotta be something wrong with me when I have all these good things and I’m still getting sad over shit that happened a long time ago.”_

It wasn’t as if she relished in feeling bad for herself; if anything, Mindy had long prided herself on the fact that if nothing else, she was resilient. No matter what happened to her or how hopeless she felt, she had somehow, someway, managed to pick herself up and keep going.

 _“But for what? Sure, I didn’t just give up and let someone push me around my whole life, but I didn’t do much good either.”_ Mindy reminded herself. _“I got through it, but for what? To learn nen and meet Wing and Zushi? To be friends with Onna? To go to school and meet Aro? So what…? It’s not like I did them any good….”_

“Stop that.” Mindy ordered under her breath as she flipped through channels for a suitable program. She knew when she got like this, the best thing to do was indeed to find something else to focus on.

_“And then what?”_

Mindy frowned and turned off the TV, tossing the remote to the other end of the couch; she leaned on the armrest and munched on a cookie. For as much as she was learning about subjects like therapy and then some, she didn’t have a clue what she was supposed to do; even if she did manage to force her focus to something else, the thoughts would only come back.

_“Dammit, I just want to have fun tonight, not get all messed up about my shitty childhood trauma bullshit. Don’t I deserve to, even if I am going solo?”_

It hit her suddenly, but it didn’t come as much of a surprise; yes, Mindy knew being alone wasn’t the issue, even if having another person to spend time with on Christmas Eve would be nice. The issue was, part of her didn’t feel like she deserved to enjoy herself.

_“I know it’s wrong...but I just can’t seem to push it out of my mind...so, what do I do about it...?”_

Mindy considered trying to understand why she felt undeserving, but then, she already knew why. For years she had beaten herself up over all ways she had been helpless, over how easy it was for her only family to leave her without so much as a goodbye, and even over how so much of her time after the fact was wasted in that awful town with an awful outlook on the world and herself.

Still, as aware as she was of her flaws, strengths, and the rationality she should be using, Mindy couldn’t seem to entirely escape from all the toxic residue left behind from her past.

“Fine, I can sort that crap out, but it still doesn’t explain why I just can’t be okay...maybe I’m the one who should be getting counseling...”

Mindy crammed another cookie into her mouth, washing it down with cold milk as soon as she swallowed. She stared at the tree and tried to keep track of the time between the blinking bulbs and how long they stayed lit. The tree almost looked like one from a department store display or a Christmas special.

“I did do a good job, didn’t I? I should just try to relax while I have the chance; no more exams, no more classes for a bit...I really do like how my place looks. Hell, I might even keep this stuff up until February.”

Mindy had taken the time from her schedule to visit a thrift store so she could purchase some knick knacks. There were little figures of reindeer and snowmen and other holiday icons placed on the shelves in a cheerful display; a wreath with a red bow hung on her front door.

A door that was being swung open as a man helped himself inside; Mindy felt her mood already changing as Hisoka gave her a little wave while he took off his wet shoes.

“I knew we’d be having a white Christmas, but this is quite a hinderance when you’re traveling on foot.”

Mindy rested her cheek in her hand, not even bothering to look surly. “Right.”

Hisoka shook the light layer of snow off his hair, already half damp and falling out of it’s groomed shape; he slipped off his coat and looked to her expectantly as he unwrapped the red scarf from his throat.

“Where can I hang these to dry?”

Mindy sighed and got up from her comfortable seat. “Here, I’ll take care of it. Are your clothes okay?”

“Fortunately, I had on enough layers.”

 _“Don’t you always?”_ Mindy wanted to ask; instead she wordlessly threw his coat and scarf into the dryer and set the dial to the right setting.

It didn’t exactly _please_ her that the scarf was the exact same one she had made so long ago, but it did cross her mind that he must keep it some place where he could always get it back in his possession, maybe one of those storage garage that rent by the month or something.

“Well, of course he’d keep using it. It’s a perfectly good scarf and it’s cold out.” Mindy began to put the baked cookies into a tin and a few others inside a cardboard gift box. She took a few of the chocolate chip and some of the gingerbread ones and carefully put them inside the box for Aro; the ones with a design of poinsettias were her favorite.

“What are those garish flowers?”

“I really don’t think you have any right to call something tacky.”

“I didn’t. I called it garish.”

Mindy sighed. “Are you tired or hungry? I made food, it’s in the fridge. You can sleep wherever.”

Hisoka leaned over the counter and cocked his head to the side; he was watching as she put away the cookies, seemingly bored.

“There’s a story that say a poor girl didn’t have any way to get a nice gift to put at this church altar. All she could do was pick some weeds and try to arrange them nice; she put them at the altar, but then they grew into poinsettias.”

“Is that all? I thought there would be a more interesting story. What does that even have to do with the holidays?”

“‘Cause it happened on Christmas Eve dumbass. What, ya think it happened on Labor day?” Mindy told him. “Anyway, the point is that the gift wasn’t much, but it was the feelings behind it that mattered.”

Hisoka yawned. “So, I take it you were planning to spend tonight alone?”

“That’s how it turned out.”

“What do you mean? I’m here aren’t I?” Hisoka said blithely. “In fact, I would go so far as to say it’s good luck I showed up when I did.”

“You know, not everyone has to be constantly doing something. Some people are cool just relaxing.”  
“It’s a holiday. Isn’t it the time for having fun?”

“Relaxing is fun. And besides, I’m the one with work and school. Every day for you is a holiday.” Mindy glanced at him from the corner of her eye as she covered the cookies with tissue paper. “Now that I think about it, what would you have done if I had plans and was gone? Just break...in…” she blinked and ignored Hisoka’s simple smile. “Anyway, with all the money you have you should be able to put yourself up somewhere nice.”

“But I want to be with you.”

Mindy snorted. “What, to try to goad me into fighting? No thanks.”

“It would be worth the effort. I was hoping you might have kept up with your training despite your studies. I certainly am glad to not have to deal with something as tedious as college exams and such.”

Mindy paused, her hand hovering over the top of the gift box; she was staring at him strangely and Hisoka returned the look with some amusement. He had no idea what he had said to make her give him that slightly surprised expression, but it was satisfying.

“Cat got your tongue?” Hisoka’s eyes glittered as he leaned over her to reach for a cookie; Mindy didn’t seemed phased, still trying to wrap her mind around his previous statement.

“How did you know I had exams?”

“Your winter semester to end and the spring to begin, isn’t it? I’m sure you must be relieved for it to be over; something tells me you’re the type to cram all the information you can into your head and stress out for no reason beforehand.” Hisoka chuckled as he examined one of the gingerbread men. “And let me take a wild guess and say you finished them in less than half an hour or so?”

Mindy nodded. “Yeah, that’s…”

Hisoka bit off the head. “What’s with that look my dear? Do I have crumbs on my face?”

Mindy opened her mouth and stumbled a bit over her words. “I realized I probably got the extra credit ones wrong.”

“So? If you got the questions on the actual test right, what does it matter?”

“If I missed a few the extra credit ones could save my ass from a failing grade.”

Hisoka scoffed, somehow avoiding spraying cookie crumbs over her shirt. “Do you sincerely expect me to believe you would fail? You’re not intelligent by any means, but anyone with basic memorization skills could pass one of those exams.”

“He remembered when my classes end and start...hell, he even remembered the last time I had to take exams…”

Everything Hisoka said was true, including her mannerisms when her educational goals were on the line and she had to prepare. Mindy had to say, she genuinely was shocked; for Hisoka to recall something so trivial was just surreal.

“No, wait...if he knows when my courses are done, then he can come by and try to pick a fight.” Mindy reasoned as she fitted the lid over Aro’s cookie box. “Well there you have it; always an angle with this guy.”

As for her studying and test taking habits, Mindy knew she was overthinking it; after all, it would amuse Hisoka that she would get frazzled and stressed over something he didn’t see any real value in, it was no mystery why he would remember the last time he had been around when she was busy preparing for class exams.

“Why do you always end up showing up out of nowhere anyway?” Mindy grumbled. “Eh, I guess if I didn’t add you in, no one would read this crap.”

“I didn’t show up out of nowhere.” Hisoka told her. “I was somewhere else and now I’m here.”

“So?”

“So, that’s hardly ‘nowhere’.”

“Whatever.”

“Honestly, you’ve been acting difficult since I’ve arrived. Did your friends leave you all alone on Christmas eve? It’s pretty mean of you to take your bad mood out on me when I’m the only one who came to spend the night with you.” Hisoka stood an inch behind her, hands in his pockets; he could see over the top of her head easily.

“If you know me as well as you think, it should go without saying I’m fine on my own.” Mindy replied simply as she sealed the container of chocolate chips; his chest was pressing into her shoulder blades and his arms were wrapped around her waist.

“If you have time, why not give me that rematch? The forecast said the snow should be lightening up soon,” Hisoka leaned down to speak directly by her ear. “Not that things won’t heat up well before then.”

Mindy turned her head, hitting him in the nose. “Whoops.”

“Oh, don’t worry my dear.” Hisoka grinned darkly, wrapping his arms righter around her to a painful level. “Accidents happen.”

“Does that explain how your folks had you?”

“Sharp tongued as always. If you ask me, you’re the one trying to goad me into the fight.” Hisoka said with a hint of dryness.

“If you ask me, the last thing on your mind is a rematch.” Mindy shifted her gaze to his. “Come on, you know the last thing I want to do is get into it with you. I mean, I’ve been trying to keep up with the training, but I hardly think you’d get much out of a match from me now.”

“You’re probably right.”

“So why are you here?” Mindy frowned as Hisoka titled her face up; she hated when he looked down on her.

“I told you already.”

The pieces fell into place.

“Ah, right. Well, I’m not in the mood, especially not for dealing with you.” If he couldn’t get his preferred way to get some stimulation from her, he would settle for the next best way to get off. With this in mind, Mindy tried to pull away but Hisoka wasn’t moving. “Come on, I mean it. I’m not in the mood-”

“Why?”

“I’m just not.” Mindy insisted as he planted a kiss on her neck swiftly. “Hisoka, go home. Or to a hotel. Hell, just go to the guest room. I want to be alone.”

“You need a distraction. You’ve looked ready to cry since the moment I walked in.”

Mindy froze.

“You were getting ready to start up just before I came in, weren’t you? Oh don’t look so shocked. I know what you look like when you’re sad by now. You get that blank slate expression, but your eyes say everything.” Hisoka’s hand gripped her chin forcefully to make her meet his eye. “It’s like you were just slapped in the face and you don’t know what to do, so you freeze up instead. I doubt anyone else can even tell when you’ve got done crying, but I can. I always can.”

“Good for you.”

“I love when you do it in front of me. You look just like a child.”

Mindy couldn’t move her chin from his grasp; once again, she had no idea how to respond. What does someone even say to such a statement that wouldn’t make them sound childish or plain stupid?

“It’s cute. I wish it was easier to do; even when I don’t hold back and you end our sparring sessions covered in cuts and bruises, you still won’t cry for me.” Hisoka contemplated her steady, almost challenging gaze. “What was making you upset?”

“I wasn’t upset.”

“Was it a person?”

“I told you, I wasn’t upset.” Mindy repeated evenly, waiting for his grip to slacken so she could slip away; patience was a virtue when dealing with all things involving this man who was beginning to dig the tips of his nails lightly into her skin the harder he held on. It might be one of those nights where Hisoka-

“Was it a man?”

Mindy rolled her eyes. “No. And I wasn’t upset.”

“Well, it’s not fair if it’s true.” Hisoka said sulkily. “You never open up to me.”

“You’re joking right?”

“As hilarious as I am, I assure you, this is anything but a joke. It’s downright insulting. Why is it that you feel perfectly comfortable bawling like a child in front of everyone else and yet you continue to treat me, the person who’s known you for longer than anyone and who’s done the most to support your maturation into a competent fighter is the one being left out of all the goings on in your life when we’ve been through so much together? I get tossed to the wayside and you act as you see fit no matter what I say or do.”

“Wow, you’re right Hisoka. What kind of person would treat someone like that?” Mindy asked with faint bemusement.

“A cruel one.” Hisoka’s hands were like steel traps and Mindy knew he was a hair’s breadth from bruising her. “I have my limits you know. I love it when you’re feisty, but you shouldn’t push your luck. I’ve been feeling pent up for some time, who knows what I’ll do if you push the wrong button.”

Mindy felt his chest press up to her back and his chin on her head as he sniffed.

“Besides, you’re planning on giving out presents right? What about me? Don’t I get a present?”

“How was I supposed to send you one? I have no idea where you were; hell, do you get mail?” Mindy moved around in his hold and he allowed it so she could face him.

“Then might I make a request?”

“Shoot.”

“Say you love me.” Hisoka petted her cheek. “Go on now, be a good girl and say it. It’ll only take a second.”

“Yeah, pick again.”

“I’ve said it to you.”

“So?! You didn’t mean it!” Mindy exclaimed incredulously; she was sure he was just trying to get a rise out of her.

“I said it though.”

“But it was a lie, it’s the same as not saying it at all.”

Hisoka cocked his head to the side and regarded her. “Hm. That sounded smart.”

“Just pick something else.” Mindy told him in exasperation; she felt his body tense. “What? Are you cold?”

“Oh it’s nothing for you to worry about.” Hisoka held back another shiver as her second sigh tickled against the skin of his neck. “I guess I’ll just have you for my present. I do love getting toys for Christmas.”

Mindy leaned into his chest. “Fine whatever.”

“Mindy, is it too hard to show an ounce of passion?”

“Hey, I get the job done when we get to it don’t I?”

“There’s much more to this than the main event. Haven’t you heard of warm up acts?” Hisoka’s arms were loose around her waist, but now his fingers were lightly running up and down the small of her back. “Do you know what I want tonight?”

“A tube of your face paint? More hair gel? Sensible heels?”

“This.”

Mindy bit her tongue as his hand grabbed her under her skirt.

“If I can’t get my match, then I’ll settle for the next best thing. I can’t promise it won’t hurt just as much though as my first choice, but I’m sure you even realized this a long time ago.”

“Long time ago?”

“Come now, like you never thought of it before when we first met. Remember that first Christmas eve? You were practically mine for the taking, daze from that wine and weak as a lamb. Why, I wouldn’t be surprised if you had drank so much as an excuse to allow yourself to let go…”

“I was drinking to distract myself from the pain in the ass freeloading in my apartment.”  
“And tonight? You’re not asking me to leave. Even then you readily allowed me to stay the night, a strange man you hardly even knew.”

This statement caused Mindy to smile as he tilted her face upwards; the heater was on, so she assumed that was the main reason why she felt so warm.

“Hisoka, what are you saying? I still don’t know you.”

“Don’t you think that’s a bit of an exaggeration?”

“Maybe a little, but not really. I have to say...maybe it is for the best.” Mindy’s hands slowly came to his shoulders. “You’re a lot like booze Hisoka.”

“Come again?”

“You’re a good distraction. You make me forget about how reality actually works for a bit; also, you give me a headache when you’re too much.” Mindy looped her arms around his neck and stared brazenly into his heated eyes. “But you don’t taste as good.”

The tile floor cracked under her back, or at least Mindy assumed it did from the sound of a few pieces breaking; she winced and knew there would be at least one large bruise by the time the night was done. At least Hisoka had the decency to put his hand under her head before shoving her down; the whole level had shaken from the force of the impact.

“Just for that little quip, I’ll make you bleed.”

Hisoka reached in his pocket and pulled out his deck of cards; Mindy opened her mouth to protest, but to her confusion, he simply placed them on the ground, his hands going to the hem of his pants instead.

“Oh no, we’re not playing with those today. This is my present and I’ll decide how I get to receive it.”

Hisoka tutted and played with the frills of her apron; it must have come from her job, as he knew she would most likely never buy something so decorative to wear for cooking.

“Wait, Hisoka-!”

A hand slammed down next to her head and it made another tile smash to pieces and the floor shake; Mindy’s eyes were wide and her body trembling. Hisoka felt the front of his pants get tighter and he used his free hand to reach down further.

“I’ll take everything you can give, until you’re begging me to stop from the pain. I won’t play with you or tease since you seem to find it unnecessary. I’ll just shove myself inside and make you into my own doll.”

Mindy’s head was craned back into the floor and her eyes open wide as he licked a stripe down her neck; he heard a soft whimper.

“I won’t stop. I’ll make it hurt to even walk, make you wish you had taken up my offer of a fight instead. If possible, I’d like to leave you raw and bleeding…but no matter what happens, I won’t stop my-”

“NO!”

Mindy was staring into the living room; the tree was tipping to the side, slowly, but before Mindy could even attempt to push Hisoka off, it had already crashed in a heap of pine needles, lights, and baubles rolling onto the ground. A number of them shattered upon contact with the wooden floor, bits of glittering glass and thin ceramic chips.

“Oops.”

Hisoka shrugged and went back to his ministrations without hesitation. His hand was traveling farther up her thigh, parting her legs and ready to peel off any cloth in the way of his release. With a triumphant and gloating smirk, his lips found themselves sucking at her neck, kissing up to her jaw, and finally pressing against her damp cheek.

Mindy lay prone, her eyes focused on the closest broken ornament from her line of sight; her head was still titled back, tears streaming and leaking into her fanned out hair. She didn’t blink.

“What’s this? I don’t think this is something you need to get so upset over.”

Mindy didn’t say anything; when he went to reach for her face, she turned away and curled in on herself like he was going to hit her.

Hisoka frowned. “You realize how childish you’re being? I haven’t even done anything and you’re already crying and getting snot everywhere.”

The night was still young and he was still antsy and wound up from a dry spell; Hisoka felt it was nothing short of inconsiderate for Mindy to be throwing a tantrum over a tree she would be tossing out in the garbage in just a couple of weeks anyway. They could have been having a fun, passionate night of rough pleasure, but the mood was ruined by her crying in front of him.

Mindy scooted up into a sitting position, trying to get up on her legs and scoop up her broom; the tears were still flowing seemingly without end.

“Then don’t look.”

Hisoka sat up and watched impassively as she swept up the broken baubles; one of the pieces was underneath the couch, so at least he had a nice view when she got on all fours to retrieve it. The feeling was only peaked when he saw her hand come back up with the shard sticking out of her finger and Mindy’s tear stained face contorted with pain from the cut. Without a word, she took the glass out and tossed it in the dustpan, and continued to clean the floor in steady sweeps.

“Hisoka…”

Mindy paused suddenly and turned to face him; he could see her finger was just barely bleeding, but it was like he could smell it from across the room. Hisoka, for once, kept silent and waited for her to continue to speak; he wasn’t quite sure what was possessing him to take heed, especially with how she was behaving.

Perhaps it was the smell of blood discombobulating his mind temporarily and the fact the blood in his head was still rushing down south. It could have had something to do with how Mindy looked in that moment, ahir disheveled, eyes wavering and glistening with barely restrained tears. Even her voice was nothing more than a tremor. The broom was let go and leaning against the wall by the full dustpan, leaving her hands with nothing to grip as they shook. Her eyes found his, unguarded and wet and pleading.

When she took a step forward, Hisoka raised his hands and spread his arms, ready to receive her.

“Sorry about this.”

Mindy tossed the remains of her decorations in the trash can and put the broom and pan back. Hisoka hadn’t bothered to move from his spot, though his arms had lowered back to his sides.

_“I can’t believe her. She could care less if I threaten to force myself on her, but she’ll cry rivers over some little trinkets?”_

Hisoka rubbed his chin; Mindy was propping the tree back up with ease; the lights hadn’t unraveled, but most of the baubles were indeed broken. Barely any real damage was caused, and Mindy didn’t even seem mad or irritated; it was a puzzlement.

“Hisoka, you can eat whatever. Your clothes are done I think.” Mindy said as she wiped her face and began to walk off down the hall to her bedroom. She was tired suddenly.

“Why are you sorry?”

Mindy looked at him over her shoulder. “I know you can’t handle me crying.”

Hisoka blinked. “I find it unsightly, but I think if I can stand getting my arms torn off, your blubbering is-”

“Okay, night.”

“I didn’t say you could go to sleep.”

“I’m tired. We can do it later if you’re still here.”

“I’m here now.”

“I want my present now.”

“Yeah? And I wanted one Christmas that wasn’t ruined by something, but tough shit. Instead my-you know what? Fine.”

Mindy went over and sat down on the kitchen floor right where she had been; she laid back with a dull stare. Hisoka was surveying her with curiosity.

“Well? Go on, get it done with. Make me bleed, break, all that shit. Just get it over with so I can pass out sooner.”

Hisoka yanked on her arms and pulled her up. “I change my mind. I’ll have this present when you’re actually fun to play with.”

“Fine, then let me go.”

“I still want a gift now.”

Mindy sighed. “Fine. What is it?”

“I want you to say it. You shouldn’t have any problem, you just cried like a baby in front of me, I don’t see why this would be so hard.”

“I love you. There, can I go to sleep?”

Hisoka stared at her and Mindy was beginning to get impatient.

“Well?”

“I was expecting to feel something.”

“What?”

Hisoka cupped her cheek. “I didn’t feel anything. Nothing.”

“Shocker.”

“You really didn’t mean it.”

Mindy’s irritation was mixing with confusion. She knew Hisoka had his own odd reasons for everything he did, but she frankly couldn’t understand anything of what he was feeling confused about.

“What if I did this?” Hisoka took her in his arms and petted her hair gently.   
“No.”

“This then.” he nuzzled her neck and gave a peck to her lips.

“No.”

“What if I was gentle tonight?” Hisoka smiled teasingly and nibbled her ear and stroked her dried cheek with his thumb. His smile grew as he felt her relax into him. “You said you want me to just ‘get it over with’, but it’ll be twice as fun to take my time and watch you squirm…”

“Hisoka, please let me go. I don’t want this.”

Hisoka’s arms dropped and his smile was gone. “I’m not happy you know. You’re being very difficult and I’m losing restraint. Make up your mind.”

Mindy looked him dead in the eye. “What do you care? Just do what you want. It’s what you always do.”

“I want you-”

“Fine.”

“-to want me.”

Mindy blinked slowly. “What?”

“It won’t please me as much otherwise. I won’t be able to quell this….” Hisoka licked his lips, his twitching fingers rising to take her face in his hands. “Don’t you see? You fight me every step of the way…”

“I thought you wanted that.”

“Not when I don’t.”

“So, basically you want me to be the way I am, but I have to do it in the way you want without you making me or telling me, and I should just inherently know what you want and when and how you want me to act and feel so I don’t become too boring and predictable, but I don’t leave you neglected.”

Hisoka’s smile was glowing. “Yes, that’s it exactly! What a good girl you are, just for that, I’ll let you make up a safeword.” he tapped her nose affectionately with a wink; he was praising her in a way similar to how a pet might be praised for doing a trick. “And so cute too, I thought I was going to tackle you right there when you gave me that sweet, broken look. Oh, I could just eat you right up, my good girl, my favorite toy-”

_“This guy really is impossible. Geez, how nice must it be to live in a world where everything revolves around you no matter what else is happening?”_

Mindy let him go on and pet her and nuzzle her as he lifted her into his arms; in truth, she felt a bit ashamed. She did not mean to cry, had definitely not intended to get so emotional over a few broken baubles, but her overall mood that persisted all evening and the memories had slapped her in the face; even Hisoka’s presence and pestering hadn’t been enough to block it out completely.

“Honestly, are you paying attention?”

Hisoka was pouting with a playfully sulky look as he nudged her cheek; it fascinated Mindy how he could go from teasing to seductive to apathetic to homicidal to silly to scathing to needy and back again without so much as a couple hours passing.

“Sorry.”

He let her go and had her fall back on her bed; Mindy hadn’t really believed he would take the extra room or the living room.

“I suppose I’ll forgive you, just this once. It is a time for giving, is it not?” Hisoka chuckled, the low sound coming out smoothly as he crawled over her “My sweet girl...you even cried so beautifully for me.”

Mindy didn’t grimace as he grabbed her face and slide his tongue with no warning down her mouth with an eager, lascivious moan while he thrust himself forward. Hisoka let her go, lips making a loud smack as he pulled away and hot breath coming out in somewhat labored gasps as he tried to keep his hips from grinding down any harder before they could actually start.

“My toy...you’re my toy, aren’t you? Are you going to scream for me, try to resist or fight? Or were you planning on just trying to keep quiet and just whimper while I have my fill?”

“That depends on what you decide to do with me.”

“Do I taste better than that swill you drink?” Hisoka’s tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip, swollen from the abrupt kisses.

In response Mindy grabbed fistful of hair and pulled his head down so she could kiss him with as much force; she could have sworn she heard purring just before she stopped and broke away with wry smile and hooded eyes.

“You’ll have to let me think on it.”

Mindy could honestly say she didn’t learn a damn thing that night, though perhaps that wasn’t such a bad thing. She didn’t have anything lesson about Christmas, or the healthy way to deal with her pain,come to terms with her past and her future, or even that much about the man who had waltzed into life and shoved all those issues to the side so he could be front and center for reasons he didn’t even seem to comprehend. Probably.

But all that could wait for the time being. For that moment, Mindy would smile cheekily as she gazed at Hisoka’s euphoric and twisted expression; it was all she could see at the moment.

_“Fuck it. I deserve a to have fun too, right?”_


End file.
